Leia made her way through the halls of the Falcon. The ship was slanted awkwardly making it difficult to walk. She didn't know whether to yell or applaud Han for his outlandish idea of hiding on the imperial star destroyer.
She was able to make it to Arya's small room on the ship, keeping her hands against the walls for balance. Leia wanted a change of clothes, something a little more comfortable, or at least a mirror. She was sure her appearance was disheveled after the whirlwind she had been through. The kiss with Han was enough to make her head spin.
Leia blushed at the thought of the passionate kiss she had shared with the smuggler. I guess Arya was right, I do have feelings for him, she thought to herself. She could only imagine what her friend would do when she told her. Leia looked around around the desolate room. The Restov twin had moved almost all of her belongings to her room at the base on Hoth. She looked into the empty closet and sighed. As she turned to leave the room, something caught her eye.
Sitting on her dresser was a lone picture, void of a frame. Leia looked around to make sure Han wasn't around to berate her for snooping, not that Arya would mind her being in her room.
She picked up the worn picture and felt her heart swell. She let out a heartfelt giggle at the image of Arya, about 15 years old she would guess, cradled in Chewie's arms. Her face was buried in his fur but the wide smile on her face could still clearly be seen. Han stood beside the large Wookie, his head turned towards the young girl with a loving smile on his face. His arm was slung over the shoulders of a young Eli Restov who stood with a silly grin on his face. His hair was still a dark brunette colour, it had been before they were taken and their lives had changed forever.
Leia laid the picture down on the desk where she had found it and slowly ambled out of the room and back to the cockpit. She found her seat behind Han and tried to hide the blush that formed as he turned and gave her wink. She cleared her throat and pulled down the hem of her sleeves, trying to revert back to her strong, military stance. She felt more confident that way.
The couple listened to the gold droid complain and whine about their current placement causing Han to gesture to Leia something he wanted done as soon as they took off. She smiled and leaned over, cutting off Threepio's power. After strategizing in peace, they had settled on going to Bespin to meet Lando Calrissian. Leia was hesitant but it was better than nothing.
"Can you trust him?"
"No. But he's got no love for the Empire I can tell you that." He reassured her even though he wasn't even sure if it was a good idea.
Han looked down to the communicator on his left. There was still no word from the twins. He had checked it about every five minutes. His fingers drummed against the console, a disturbed sigh leaving his lips. Leia turned her attention to him, eyeing him curiously. He wasn't the best at hiding his feelings, at least not when it came to worrying about the twins.
"Han, I'm sure they're ok. You said they're meeting a Jedi master, maybe they're just working really hard and forgot to call." She offered, hoping she was providing some kind of comfort. She didn't want to admit it and make Han more nervous, but she was worried too.
"Yeah probably. I just...can't help but worry about them. They're the only ones I got."
"Not the only ones." She whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to face her, a playful grin on his face.
He opened his mouth to respond, most likely with a cocky retort, when the com suddenly beeped, snapping the both of them out of their flirting. Han practically jumped out of his seat and looked to the screen with excitement. He noted that that message was coming from Eli's ship rather than a handheld com link.
"Eli? Where the hell have you two been? Are you trying to put me into cardiac arrest? You better have one hell of an excuse for ignoring me this whole time, I've been worried sick. Even Chewie's been asking an-"
"Han!" Eli yelled, getting him to stop his rant which reminded Han to take a breath. "I'm sorry we didn't call you right away, it's been kind of hectic."
"What's going on? Is Arya there, I wanna say hi." He spoke quickly, his worry and excitement peaking. Since they had been captured for a year, none of them liked being away from each other for too long.
"Well, um, that's where it gets kinda complicated." Eli spoke nervously. He dreaded telling Han about what an ass he had been to Arya. He knew he deserved the hurtful words she had spoken but it didn't make it hurt any less.
"What happened? Is anyone hurt?" He questioned sternly, his body tensing as he awaited the answer.
"No, well not physically anyway. She's on Dagobah with Luke."
"And where are you?"
"I'm in my X wing. I-" he stopped, a deep sigh resonating through the com. "I couldn't stay there, it wasn't what I thought it would be." He said vaguely. He really didn't want to recount what had happened. All he had been doing since he left was thinking about what he had said to her and the hurt look on her face. Each time he felt more and more shitty about himself.
"I can't imagine Arya let that slide too easily. Did you guys have a fight?"
"Yeah. It was pretty bad." His voice was somber and he swallowed thickly, trying to regain his wits. "Where are you now? I'll set my course and meet up with you." He asked, putting on a fake, lighthearted tone. He was thankful to change the subject.
"Well, we're just about to head to Bespin to meet up with Lando. Head over there and I can help you write your apology to your sister." Han joked and frowned when all he got in response was a soft chuckle that sounded forced and sad. I guess it really was bad.
"Alright, see you there."
"See ya soon, Speedy." Han disconnected and sat back in his seat, his hand running across his jaw. "Those kids will be the death of me." He mused making Leia let out a laugh and place a soft kiss to his cheek.
Arya stayed at the camp while Luke continued his training. It had taken many, many minutes of convincing him she was ok to be alone after he repeatedly refused to leave her side. After some grovelling he finally agreed. Before he left he placed a hesitant kiss to her forehead, still unsure about physical contact after her breakdown.
Arya found it endearing that he was so careful not to make her uncomfortable. She was also very thankful, she could barely look at Luke without feeling ashamed. Why do I feel ashamed, it's not my fault what happened to me, she kept reminding herself. She was constantly arguing with herself about it, she had no idea what to feel at this moment.
The com link beside her buzzed for what she assumed to be the twentieth time. She looked down at it, biting her lip in frustration. She knew it was Eli and she knew the right thing to do would be to talk to him and work through the fight they had but she couldn't will herself to answer when he called. She wasn't ready to talk, not after the day she had. The buzzing stopped and she sighed, squeezing her eyes shut.
She ached to see Luke, to be near him. That was a good sign, she wasn't closing herself off like she had in the beginning. She was certain that he would never hurt her and that if she wanted to heal, having him by her side would make it a lot easier.
She stood, her legs had finally seized their shaking and she was able to actually walk steadily. She took tentative steps to where Luke was talking with Yoda and smiled softly as she approached. Luke raised his head, his full attention on her as she stepped forward, her arms lost in the long sleeves of his jacket that she wore.
"Hey, how you feeling?" He asked happily, getting to his feet as she stepped closer.
"Better. I figured it'd be easier to spend time with you rather than be alone." Her voice was quiet and her stance was timid. She was still very shaken from the flashbacks she had seen.
Luke could clearly see the fear and sadness evident on her face. He stood with his arms at his sides even though they ached to hold her, to comfort her. Arya smiled very lightly, Luke barely even noticed the slight upturn of her lips. She walked towards him and her arms raised to reach out to him. She slowly wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her cheek against his strong chest. Luke was stunned for a moment but he gently placed a hand on the back of her head and held her close to him. He let out a low sigh, content to just hold her in his arms for hours.
They were so wrapped up in each other they had forgotten about the small Jedi master that stood waiting to gain their attention once again.
"Arya, glad am I to see you back on your feet. I apologize for yesterday." He spoke to her thoughtfully. Arya nodded and smiled at him genuinely.
"It's ok. I think that breakdown was inevitable, it just happened sooner than I expected."
"Now will you see that you are not the monster you make yourself out to be. Seen true evil you have, seen what real monsters can do. A monster is not what you are."
Arya was shocked at his words and she couldn't help the smile that grew. She had felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. For the first time, she really believed it.
Luke kept his arm around her waist, his grip tightening as he looked down at her with a wide smile. He could practically feel the stress leaving her body. He placed a kiss to the top of her head. She instinctively curled into his body, placing a hand against his chest.
"Return to the training we must." Yoda stated coyly, giving the couple a look as they reluctantly pulled away from each other.
Arya watched in amusement as Luke got into a handstand position. She couldn't help but admire the sight of his muscular arms that flexed as they held him up. She felt herself blush as they made eye contact. Luke smirked at her before closing his eyes. He had to force himself to focus.
Arya picked at the chipping polish on her nails. She was still feeling tremendously anxious. The disturbing things she had seen had not stopped rattling around her brain. She berated herself for being so cold to Luke. Why would she cower from him? Arya knew Luke would never hurt her, she had just been so horrified by what she saw. As soon as she had put her fear behind her and finally embraced the man she loved, she felt like she could breathe again. He really did make everything better.
But there was still a nagging in the back of her head. She felt...dirty. Like she was damaged by what had been done to her. She had felt like that for some time, since she had first been intimate with Luke. For so long she had felt like she wasn't good enough for him. Luke was so kind hearted and pure. She had been the only girl he had been with. Arya couldn't even count the men she had been with. She feared that one day Luke would realize this and leave, look for someone better, someone who wasn't used.
She wasn't paying attention to Luke or what was going on around her but she was snapped out of her daze when Artoo, who was sat next to her, began to rise up off the ground.
"Good. Calm. Through the force, things you will see. Other places. The future. The past. Old friends long gone." Arya watched in awe as Luke used the force. Yoda's words struck a chord with her. The reason she wanted to do this was to be connected to her mom. Maybe when she had recovered from her previous try she could do it again.
"Han? Leia, Eli!" Luke yelled, sounding disturbed. He lost his concentration and fell back, grunting from the force of impact.
Arya winced as he hit the ground. She moved forward, her eyes wide. She helped prop up Artoo who had fallen back and looked to Luke expectantly. Arya once again felt the familiar feeling of fear consume her.
"What the hell was that?" She questioned. Luke looked up at her with wide, unnerving eyes. He was hesitant to tell her what he saw. He didn't want to add even more sad news to her already fragile state.
"I saw...I saw a city in the clouds."
"Friends you have there." Yoda stated making Arya's head snap towards him.
She felt as if she had been punched in the gut. Han and Leia were there. Eli would have gotten in touch with them meaning he was there too. Judging by the startled look on Luke's face and the way he had cried out, something was definitely wrong. Very wrong.
"They were in pain." Luke said, his worry evident in his tone. As much as he wanted to shelter Arya from anymore pain, he couldn't hide this from her. Even worse, he couldn't hide his own fear. He gave her a fleeting look of concern but her eyes were fixed on her hands that fidgeted in her lap.
"It is the future you see."
"Future?" Arya questioned, her mind racing as she tried to comprehend what was going on. She thought of her com link that was buzzing all morning. What if that fight was the last time I talked to my brother? Her breathing sped up, her pulse spiking. Her hands began to tremble at the thought.
Thankfully Luke wasn't looking at her to notice her crumbling. He got to his feet slowly, his back turned to the both of them.
"Will they die?" He questioned Yoda, his voice wavering slightly as he dreaded the answer.
The couple watched with bated breath as Yoda closed his eyes in concentration. "Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future." Arya wasn't completely satisfied with his answer and her anxiety continued to take its toll on her.
Luke looked to Arya who was still seated on the ground, her knees curled up to her chest. He finally noticed the tortured expression on her face and the way she violently bit at her lip to keep her composure.
"We've got to go to them." He stayed strongly, keeping his eyes locked on her delicate form. There was no way he was letting his friends, his love's only family, get hurt. That would kill her. Even he wouldn't be able to salvage any happiness from her if that happened.
"Decide you must how to serve them best. If you leave now, help them you could but you would destroy all for which they have fought and suffered." Yoda warned leaving them silent.
Luke could only nod weakly, his mind reeling with each difficult option that was available. He walked over to Arya, holding his hand out to her. "Come on." He spoke softly, pulling her up to her feet as she grasped his hand in hers.
He put a hand at the small of her back, guiding her back to camp. They needed to talk this out. Her body was rigid, her eyes were vacant. That wasn't a good sign. Luke had to calm her down, he couldn't stand seeing her like this. She had made so much progress and it was all being torn down.
Luke sat her down, kneeling in front of her. His hands cradled her face. "Everything will be ok. I'm gonna pack all this up and we can head out." He reassured her.
Arya nodded slowly. "Luke, it stopped buzzing." She whispered, her voice strained. Luke looked down at the com link in her hands. Eli had been trying to reach her all day and now it was silent. He tried desperately to hide the fear from his features. He had to stay strong for her, or at least look the part.
"That doesn't mean anything. He probably just wanted to give you space. Arya, you didn't answer him all day, he had to get the hint and stop trying at some point."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." She spoke quietly. His thumb brushed away a stray tear the fell. She pulled out of his grasp, getting to her feet, a loud breath leaving her lips. "Alright, let's pack up and get outta here." Her voice was stronger now, more determined.
Luke smile at her, watching as she moved, gathering their stuff together. Nothing got her down for too long. Even if she was suffering, that wouldn't stop her from helping others, especially her family.
Luke got to his feet and moved towards her. He grabbed her arms in his hands, stopping her actions. She raised her eyebrows at him in question. He moved his hand to the curve of her neck, pulling her forward. He kept his eyes on hers as he moved his head down closer to hers, silently asking for permission. When Arya gave no indication that she wanted to pull away he gently placed his lips to hers, his other hand reaching up to her cheek.
He was nervous, wondering if he should've waited for her to make the first move. He didn't know if she would push him away in fear, if she was ready to be close to him like this. Luke relaxed instantly as he felt her arms snake around his waist. She returned his kiss with equal gentleness, her heart racing, but not in fear like she had expected. She felt the familiar flutter in her chest that always happened whenever Luke did something extremely sweet and thoughtful.
He pulled away slowly, resting his forehead on hers. His royal blue eyes searched hers, looking for any sign of discomfort. He was glad when he saw a wide smile appear on her face. "I love you. So much." He smiled down at her.
"And I love you." She whispered. He placed a quick kiss on her nose making her let out a quiet giggle. Luke felt his chest swell with love and adoration for the woman before him.
They gave each other one last loving smile before continuing to pack up. It didn't take long to get all their stuff loaded on luke's X wing. It would be cramped but it was their only option. Arya passed Luke the last box to load. He closed the hatch and moved to the front of the ship, checking the controls one last time.
"Luke, Arya, you must complete the training." Yoda warned.
"I can't keep the vision out of my head. They're my friends. I got to help them." Luke spoke quickly, his nerves making his head spin.
"You must not go."
"So we should just sit here and let them suffer?" Arya argued. "My brothers and my best friend will die if we don't." She spoke sternly, her fists clenching in frustration.
"You don't know that." A deep voice spoke. Ben. "Even Yoda cannot see their fate."
Arya watched with fascination as Obi Wan appeared before them. A deep breath was expelled, a hesitant look on her face. She was excited to see an old friend but that didn't stop her anger.
"That doesn't matter. I'm not taking any chances." Arya spoke strongly, turning towards Luke who stood by the ladder of his ship.
"Oh, sweetie, you always were so stubborn." Arya felt the air leave her lungs in a rush. She stumbled on her steps, Luke reaching out in time to hold her steady before she fell. She knew that voice. It made her heart beat faster and tears spring to her eyes instantly.
Luke looked around for the second voice that had spoken. His eyes widened as he saw a woman with long, vibrant red hair and a smattering of freckles across her nose, just like Arya. He looked in amazement at the apparition in front of him and looked down at Arya, a wide grin on his face.
Arya felt like she was a child again. Seeing her mother standing in front of her, her hair, her smile, just the way she remembered it.
"Mom?" She breathe out, her lip trembling from the overwhelming emotions that flooded her.
Aurora Restov smiled tearfully at the young woman in front of her. "I always knew you'd grow up to be stunning." She remarked, admiring the familiar wide grin that stretched upon her daughter's face.
"H-Hello, miss Restov." Luke waved awkwardly. He suddenly felt like he needed to make a good impression. Arya tried to suppress her laugh and shot him an endearing look.
"Hello Luke. It looks like you've been treating my daughter well."
"Aurora, we have much to discuss." Obi Wan interjected, a relaxed smile on his face. Truthfully, Obi Wan had missed his friend greatly. He had felt a disturbance in the force when she had died, he had been deeply hurt by the news of her passing. The two of them had been through a lot together. "You two must stay and finish your training." He stated to the young couple.
"But we can help them. I feel the force." Luke argued confidently. To him, it didn't matter if he did fail, he needed to at least try and help his friends.
"But you cannot control it. This is a dangerous time for you both, when you will be tempted by the dark side of the force."
"I've already been tempted by the dark side." Arya sneered, feeling almost embarrassed to admit that to a group of Jedi masters.
Aurora watched Arya thoughtfully. "Gentlemen, if you don't mind I'm going to talk to my daughter alone." She motioned with her head for her to follow as she began to walk away from the others.
Luke squeezed Arya's hand one last time before she began to follow. She took careful steps over the upturned roots of the tree beside her to where her mother stood waiting.
"I can't believe it's really you. I thought I'd never see you again." Arya whispered, feeling a lump in her throat.
"My little girl, I've missed you. I know things had been difficult but you've proven time and again that you're strong enough to handle anything. I know those grumpy old men want you to stay and finish what you've started, but your brother is in trouble. You drop everything and you go to him." Her voice broke slightly, her eyes filled with tears. It pained her that she couldn't protect her children. She couldn't help but blame herself for the torture they had been put through after she died.
"I will. Mom, I promise I won't let Eli get hurt."
Aurora nodded, a proud smile appearing on her face. She took in a deep breath and wiped her tears away. "Sweetheart, I know you're scared of the dark side. You feel like a monster for what you did."
"If it wasn't for you closing that door between me and Vader, I would've-" Arya trailed off, wincing at the memory.
"Arya, look at me." She coerced her daughter who raised her tear filled eyes reluctantly. "You shouldn't beat yourself up for what you did. You're not the only one who's done something they're not proud of."
Arya narrowed her eyes in confusion. She stayed silent, willing her mother to continue.
"You remember the day your father came back after turning to the dark side? He was there for you and Eli. He wanted to take you to the Emperor." Aurora hesitated, her jaw clenched tightly. "Arya I killed your father. He brought out his saber, ready to get me out of the way. I brought out mine and we fought. I knew if I lost he would take you and hurt you. I couldn't let that happen so I did what I had to do."
Arya was speechless. Her mouth was agape as she hung onto every word her mother spoke. She didn't know what to feel.
"There were too many of them there. They knelt me down before Palpatine. He was ready to kill me and I was ready to fight my way out of there. But then, I saw you and Eli in the doorway, holding hands, looking so terrified. Every ounce of power I felt, every piece of my soul that was blackened by my actions, was gone. I knew what I did was wrong and I hated myself. It didn't matter that he became a Sith, he was still your father. But after years of being..this," she huffed out a laugh, gesturing down to her shimmering body. "I learned that when backed into a corner, sometimes there's no easy way out. I did what I had to do to protect the ones I love the most and so did you."
Arya exhaled deeply, her breath coming out ragged and unsteady. She couldn't describe the feeling of knowing her own mother had been through the emotion hell she was dealing with now.
"You shouldn't dwell on what happened. You can't change it and it's why you're here today."
"I know. Sometimes I just feel like everyone sees me as this freak that will snap at minute. People are so careful around me, like they're scared of what I would do to them." Arya explained. It felt good to finally come clean about this.
She didn't tell Luke about the way some of the people on base looked at her. She knew he would tell her what he's told her a million times already, you're not a freak. You're a girl who survived a miracle and now you're a hero. No matter how many times she had heard that, she still had trouble believing it.
"That boy out there loves you. Every single part of you. You'd be crazy not to see how he looks at you, like you hung the moon. That's all that should matter, not what anyone else thinks."
Arya smiled, looking down at her feet. "Thank you for telling me that." She said quietly. It put everything in perspective knowing her favourite person in the world had been through what she'd been through.
Aurora beamed at Arya, their smiles mirroring each other. Arya felt her heart swell at just the sight of her mother in front of her. She still couldn't believe that she was lucky enough to see her again.
"You should get going. And don't worry, this is not the last time you'll be seeing me. I promise." Her mother spoke as if reading her thoughts. "I love you and I know you can do this. You're stronger than I ever was."
"I love you too."
Arya smiled at her mother one last time. She turned her back and walked back to the ship, taking slow steps. She wished she could just stay with her mom forever, she wished things weren't so difficult. She saw Luke already in his X wing. She climbed up the ladder quickly, getting into position in the small space beside his seat.
"You ok?" He asked tentatively, noticing her watery eyes and tortured expression. He wondered if she wanted to change her mind and stay to be with her mother. He hadn't seen her smile like that in ages.
"Yeah, I'm ok." She took a deep breath to calm her pounding heart. "Come on, let's save my idiot brothers."
Luke glanced at her with a small smile on his face. "You look just like her." He mused making Arya let out a quiet laugh, her heart fluttering.
She watched Luke fly, her eyes roving over his handsome face. He had a determined look in his eye, one she was very familiar with. She thought over her mother's words about him and felt a blush creep up on her cheeks.
She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his cheek. He turned his head briefly, giving her a slightly confused smile. She sat back in her seat, her nerves slowly ebbing away the brief happiness she had felt. Her hands trembled uncontrollably the more she thought of her brother. I hope I'm not too late.