Chapter 26

"Tim?"

The voice penetrated his sleep and he tried not to wake up.

"Daddy, time to go home!"

A hand shaking his arm.

"Tim, you can't stay the night in the NICU."

The voice pierced through his sleep and Tim sat up, suddenly realizing where he was. At the NICU. He had been letting Delilah hold both of the twins and he had just sat down for a few minutes while she was having that bonding time.

"Sorry, what?" he asked.

He looked around blearily and saw Delilah looking at him with concern. The twins were already back in the incubators. Tommy was just wanting to go home, but Opal also looked concerned. He didn't like seeing that expression on people's faces when he was the focus of it. He tried to get his mind in gear and smile nonchalantly.

"Tim, you look so tired," Delilah said.

"Just getting into sleep-deprived dad mode," Tim said, trying to joke and lighten the mood. "I haven't had enough practice since Tommy got old enough to sleep in a bed."

"Go home, Daddy!"

"You're right, Tommy," Tim said. "It's time for dinner, isn't it."

He stood up, determined not to let this turn into another session about how he had to take it easy when that was patently impossible. Delilah's expression said, in no uncertain terms, that she knew exactly what he was doing and she wasn't fooled. Still, she wheeled herself to the NICU exit, Tommy following along.

"Tim, wait for a moment," Opal said from behind him.

Tim stopped reluctantly. Opal had been too nice to them all from the beginning for him to ignore her now.

"What is it?" he asked. "It really is time for dinner."

"I know that. I won't keep you long," she said. "But you're getting stretched pretty thin, aren't you."

"That's the nature of being a parent. What I'm doing isn't all that different from what other people in the NICU are doing, too."

"Yes, it is. No, it's not. But you're showing signs of the strain. You can't help your family if you're pushing yourself beyond your limits."

"I'm not," Tim said, a little irritated.

Opal just raised an eyebrow.

"I'm... at my limits, but I'm not beyond them."

"Are you sure of that, Tim?"

"Yes, and when Delilah can start getting herself into and out of her wheelchair again, it'll be fine."

"So it's not fine right now."

Tim sighed and said nothing.

"Tim, it's not a question of your ability. You need to worry about yourself, too."

"This is my family," Tim said. "I have to care of them. My wife can't do it yet, so that means it's me. It can't be Tommy."

"You could get some extra help. That is acceptable."

Tim shook his head. "No. I'm fine. I told you."

"Yes, but since you're lying and we both know you are because you know how tired you are and I've been a NICU nurse for thirty years and have seen it all, it doesn't matter what you told me."

"I need to get my family home," Tim said. He looked back at the incubators. "Hopefully, all of them soon."

"It will be soon. They're doing very well."

"Good. Good night, Opal."

"Good night, Tim."

Tim turned and left the NICU, meeting up with Delilah, transferring her to her own wheelchair and then out to the car and home for dinner. Delilah said nothing while Tommy was awake, but Tim was dreading her trying to say something because he couldn't say exactly what was putting him over the edge without making it sound like it was her fault. It wasn't her fault. She couldn't help having had emergency surgery. The doctor had said it would take about six weeks for her to fully recover and that they needed to take it slowly enough that she didn't reinjure herself.

But finally, Tommy was in bed.

"Tim, we need to talk."

"Okay."

He sat down on the bed and faced her.

"I'm sorry I can't do all this for myself yet," Delilah said.

"No, don't apologize for what you can't help," Tim said. "That's the way it is right now. It won't be like this forever. It'll be fine."

"Tim, I hate seeing you pulled in so many directions. None of our plans included the twins in the NICU for weeks. None of our plans included me having so much recovery time. What you're doing is everything, and you're doing it for a lot longer than we had planned."

Tim smiled. "Who else is going to do it, right now? Tommy? You're my wife. Tommy is my son. Esther and Evelyn are my daughters. This is my family. It's not a job I'm doing. It's my family and I'll do whatever is necessary to make sure that everyone in my family is doing well."

"What about you? You're a part of the family, too."

"I sure hope so," Tim said, smiling.

Delilah did not smile.

"Tim, you're doing so much right now, and I know you're doing things that need to be done, but you could be getting a little more help with it, if you'd just stop being so stubborn."

"I'm fine," Tim said. "I'm tired, but all parents are tired. That's normal. You don't need to make this into something exceptional."

Delilah reached out and cupped her hand on his cheek.

"You are exceptional, Tim," she said, gently. "You're afraid to be, but you are. And that's okay. I'm not saying this because you're not doing a good job at trying to do everything. I'm saying it because I love you and I worry about you."

For some reason, that got to him and he had to blink to keep the tears from escaping.

"I'm just tired," he whispered, but this time with a different meaning than it had before. "I'm just tired."

Delilah cupped both of her hands on his cheeks and pulled his head to hers.

"I know, Tim. We'll get through this, but we'll do it together. I can't do a lot yet, but I'll try to take a little bit of your load. If you'll let me help you."

Delilah urged him to lay down on the bed and Tim could already feel himself shutting down. He tried to wake back up.

"Do you need..." he began.

"No, Tim. I don't need anything right now. Just go to sleep."

He couldn't even stay awake long enough to protest.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Four weeks later...

"Are you ready, Jo?" Tony asked.

"Should I feel nervous?"

"Nope. You should feel privileged. We're the first people invited to Tim's place since they brought their babies home."

"Well, you are the first person invited. I'm only invited by default."

Tony grinned. "What an important default."

"Ha ha. Are you sure they don't mind me tagging along?"

"It was Delilah's suggestion. She's been wanting to meet you, but it took longer for her to recover than she had planned and now, they're basically just two sleep-deprived parents who are looking with envy at their happy-go-lucky friend."

"Whatever, Tony. You can play up the blasé thing as much as you want, but after seeing you get up at two thirty in the morning just to drive to D.C. and be moral support, you can't expect me to believe it."

Tony smiled. Jo was definitely starting to get a look at some of his inner workings, and (to his mild surprise) it hadn't scared her off yet. The last couple of months had seen them getting closer and more serious about the relationship although they hadn't yet really talked about it.

This was the first time that Tony was actually introducing her to his friends. They were both a little nervous about it. Jo had gone with black hair this time, but the tips were dyed bright red and she kept tugging at them.

They pulled up at Tim's place.

"Looks like a pretty normal house."

"Only there are no stairs."

"For Delilah."

"Exactly. There are a few adaptations for her wheelchair, but that's why they moved out here, farther from D.C., so that they could have a single-story home with a yard. I hope you're ready for Tommy."

Jo smiled. "Is he ready for me? Little kids can be shy around strangers."

"Not once he has a chance to know who you are."

Tony knocked on the front door and they heard a loud voice.

"Daddy! Door!"

Then, a wail drifted out the window.

"Tommy!" came an exasperated voice. "You woke up Evelyn."

Then, they heard footsteps.

"Are you sure they want us here?" Jo asked, smiling a little.

"Yep," Tony said.

The door opened and Tony wasn't surprised to see Tim with dark circles under his eyes. Whereas, when the twins were in the hospital, Tim had been stretched to the breaking point trying to do everything, now, he was just another sleep-deprived dad, albeit with some extra complications. Esther was still getting oxygen at night and Evelyn didn't like to sleep unless she was being held. But Delilah had recovered to the point that, as long as she took it easy, she could care for herself again and do her share of caring for the twins.

Tim smiled when he saw them.

"I'm sorry for the chaos, but welcome. You must be Jo."

"And you must be Tim," Jo said, shaking his hand.

"That's right, although I can't remember my name some days. Come on in."

They stepped into the house and Tony could see that Tim and Delilah had tried to clean things up, but there were still toys spilling out onto the floor, and there were signs of babies all over the living room.

"I hope you don't step on any toys. We tried to get Tommy to clean them all up, but..."

"Daddy!"

"Tommy, remember that you need to not shout when your sisters are sleeping? They do too little sleeping as it is. Now, this is Jo. She's Tony's friend."

Tommy got quiet and shy when he saw Jo and he reached for Tim to pick him up. Tim obliged.

"Tommy, say hi to Jo," Tim said.

Tommy peeked at her and Jo smiled and waved.

"Your hair is red," Tommy said, shyly.

"Yes, it is," Jo said. "Do you like it?"

Tommy nodded.

"Give him a few minutes. He has to adjust. Come and meet Delilah. ...and the girls. Esther is sleeping, but Evelyn was sleeping and we're hoping that they'll both sleep during dinner, although I'd be shocked if we lucked out like that. I think that babies plan their crying for when it's most inconvenient."

Tony and Jo walked back to what had been the spare bedroom and was now a nursery. They weren't having the twins sleep there yet, but they were trying to adjust to the idea of them sleeping there.

Delilah was sitting in her chair, holding Evelyn who was looking droopy.

"Is she sleeping yet?" Tim asked, in a whisper.

"She's getting there," Delilah said and then looked up. "Hi, Tony. And you must be Jo. I'll have to beg off doing any real conversation for a few more minutes, but, Tim, if you wheeled me into the bedroom, I might be able to get her down soon."

"Okay." Tim set Tommy down and then looked at Tony. "You guys can wait in the kitchen...or the living room. Tommy, remember, no music right now. Later."

Tommy nodded and then edged over to Tony.

"Hey, Tommy, is the table set?" Tony asked.

Tommy nodded.

"Why don't you show us the plates? Did you pick them?"

Tommy nodded and grinned. He grabbed Tony's hand and pulled him out of the room. Tommy enthusiastically showed them the plates on the table until Tim and Delilah came in.

"You guys can have a seat. I just need to dish everything up," Tim said.

"I'll help," Tony said.

"You don't need to."

Delilah looked at Tim and raised an eyebrow. She didn't say a word.

"...but that's fine," Tim said, smiling a little.

"Jo and I will get to know each other when I'm not holding a surly infant."

Tony grinned at Jo and left her at the table.

"What was that, Tim?" he asked as Tim was pulling a pan out of the oven.

"Nothing."

"Yes, it was."

Tim shrugged and smiled again as he got out a serving dish.

"Delilah just told me that I have to let people help me when they offer and I promised I would work on it. When I'm at home, she can keep her eye on me."

"And is it working?"

"I don't know. I'm just glad she doesn't lecture me in front of company."

"She loves you."

"I know. If I didn't, I wouldn't take it." Tim smiled once more and then handed Tony one of the dishes. "Come on."

Tony followed Tim into the dining room and they all sat down, Tommy sitting beside Tim so that he could be helped with keeping most of the food either on his plate or in his mouth, not on the floor.

"Anyway, we're sorry that we couldn't make this a little more formal," Delilah said. "While we have the twins still so small, we don't want anyone to be babysitting and..."

"And we don't mind," Tony said.

"No, not at all," Jo said. "I like seeing people as families. There are way too many who just seem to have kids for the novelty and they're not willing to make the sacrifices it takes to raise them. I have some friends like that from college. They look at their kids as inconveniences, keeping them from a real life and it always bugs me. If people don't want kids, they shouldn't have them."

Then, she blushed a little.

"Sorry. I tend to get passionate about things," she said.

Delilah smiled. "Oh, I don't know anyone like that." And then she looked straight at Tim who grinned.

"I don't, either," he said.

They chatted all through dinner with frequent interruptions by Tommy who found his tongue after a little while and had a hard time getting his food eaten while he was talking. But the twins did stay asleep. After they finished eating, Tim had Tommy help him clean up while Tony and Jo talked to Delilah. Then, Tim got Tommy to bed while Delilah checked on the twins. Finally, they sat down in the living room to talk a little more.

"So how are the twins doing?" Tony asked.

"We're hoping that Esther will be off the oxygen at night in the next few weeks," Tim said. "I like to say that she gets so relaxed that she forgets to breathe. Evelyn is just a lot more highstrung. Right now, we're just letting them sleep and wake as they will. That means a lot of late-night feedings."

"What about when...Tim? ...goes back to work?" Tony asked, knowing that this was a more sensitive topic and the last time he'd talked to Tim about it, they hadn't decided.

"Tim is going back to work," Delilah said. "We talked about it and we decided that I would take at least a year off and he'll keep working, but my job is one that I can do from home to some degree. So after a year, we'll reevaluate and then as I have time, I'll do some consulting work with the NSA and we'll keep on that track until all the kids are in school. Then, we'll think about it some more."

"What decided you?" Jo asked. "Tony told me that you both had really good jobs."

"Partly, it's that my job can't be part time," Tim said. "Delilah's can. Also, I do make more because I'm a team lead."

"And I refused to let him quit," Delilah said with a grin.

Tony knew they were glossing over a lot of the other details, but Jo was still new to them and so it made sense that they wouldn't overwhelm her with family details.

"But I'm going to be off for about another month," Tim said. "I talked to Vance and he agreed that I had enough unexpected issues that I shouldn't be rushing back. But Delilah's almost back to normal now and that makes it a lot easier."

"Tim just wants to get back to work so that he can use that as an excuse for making me get up in the night when the girls cry."

"Can I ask a personal question?" Jo asked.

"Sure," Delilah said.

"I'll admit that I haven't seen very many cribs, but the ones I have seen aren't really set up for someone in a wheelchair. How do you manage it?"

"Believe it or not, there is a company that makes cribs specially for people in wheelchairs. It turned out to be extremely expensive, like about $16,000."

"Wow!" Tony said. "You've got to be kidding. That's insane."

Delilah nodded. "Yeah. There's a real racket for those kinds of accessible things. They know that they can charge that much because no other company does it, but my dad knew someone who was able to make us a crib that was accessible for way less, just the cost of lumber. Now that there are two of them, we have two cribs. There are two doors that latch shut on the sides so I can roll right underneath and reach in. ...and they can't get away from me."

"Wow. That's really cool."

"I'm really happy about it," Tim said.

Delilah laughed. "Tim was terrified that he'd have to be the one getting up in the night all the time."

They talked for another ten minutes or so and then there was a whine from the bedroom.

"Oh, that's Esther. She's decided it's time to eat," Tim said. He got up and left the living room.

"How can you tell?" Tony asked.

"I can't even explain it," Delilah said, "but that's Esther. Evelyn sounds different. More demanding, no matter what the situation is."

Then, another cry.

"That's Evelyn. She doesn't like to be left out," Delilah said, smiling. "I'd better go and help Tim. Don't leave just yet. We'll be back out in a minute."

Tony sat on the couch and waited.

"Will it really be a minute, you think?" Jo asked.

"As in 60 seconds? I doubt it, but it probably won't be too long."

Five minutes later, Tim came out, holding Esther and feeding her a bottle.

"She's still tiny," Tony said.

"She's getting there," Tim said. "Next time you see her, she'll be chubby."

Delilah came out with Evelyn.

They talked for a few more minutes and then Tony could see that it was definitely time to go and let Tim and Delilah take care of the kids, but Tony was also relieved to see Tim really doing okay. He was glad of it.

"Well, we have to get back to Norfolk, and it'll be late, so we'd better get going," Tony said.

"I'd offer to let you stay the night here, but you'd probably be more tired doing that than just driving back home," Delilah said.

"Probably," Tony said. "That's what's great about being an uncle instead of a father."

Tim looked down at Esther and Tony saw him smile tenderly at his daughter.

"I don't know about that," he said, softly.

"That's because you're a dad, Tim. We'll see you later."

"Okay. Thanks for coming. We can't have lots of people here at once while the girls are still so small, but we don't want to be social pariahs," Delilah said.

Tony grinned, knowing that Tim probably wouldn't mind, even if Delilah did.

"Well, we'll come...almost any time you invite us."

"Sounds good," Tim said. "I hope you don't mind if I don't go to the door with you."

"Not a bit. I know the way."

Tony and Jo left.

"So? What did you think?" Tony asked as they walked back to the car.

"Tim is a lot more reserved than Delilah," Jo said.

"Yep. He always has been."

"Ah. But I really liked seeing them be parents."

"Yeah. I love it," Tony said.

"You're so mushy. All that pretty boy stuff you've been throwing at me is totally an act."

Tony grinned. "You're only figuring that out now?"

"You're a good actor."

"Thanks."

Then, Jo stepped closer and put her arm around his waist.

"I think I'll keep you," she said.

"Right back at ya," Tony said.

They got in the car and drove back to Norfolk.