"Oh, Derek," Meredith moaned. "This is the best meal I've ever eaten."

Derek smiled. Her entire meal had been punctuated by delightful and tempting little moans that just made him want to lay her down and ravish her. It was so wonderful having a chance to spend time with her, even if it was in the middle of the night. He still loved her more than anything in the world and it hurt that he rarely saw her.

"Want some more?" he offered.

"Oh yes." Meredith held out of plate and he took it from her hands.

"Potatoes or stir-fry?" he asked.

"Both please."

Derek filled her plate and showed it to her. "Does this look good?" he asked, referring to the amount.

"Perfect. Aren't you going to have some?"

"Actually, I don't usually have much of an appetite at this time of day, or rather night," he teased, coming over to sit next to her at the breakfast bar where she was devouring her second helping.

"Baby is hungry at this time a lot," Meredith said before shoving a forkful of mashed potatoes into her mouth.

"What do you usually feed him? There is basically no food in this house," Derek observed, remembering the phone conversation.

Meredith frowned adorably. "There is too food," she contradicted. "In the cupboard I have bread and peanut butter, Izzie's muffins, chips, and Oreos."

"Well, that's a fully stocked kitchen," Derek agreed with a teasing smile.

Rolling her eyes, Meredith took another bite. "Whatever, she likes all that stuff in the middle of the night, usually. But tonight she needed this. Thanks for coming over."

"I'm glad to do it," Derek said honestly, not letting her hear the emotion that would betray just how glad he was that she had called and how excited he was to be with her. "Anything for our baby."

"Yeah." Meredith patted her stomach. "Spoiled already."

Noticing the empty spot on her plate, Derek asked, "More potatoes?"

Biting her bottom lip, Meredith nodded. "They are so good."

Glad that his midnight snack was getting a positive response and that so much was being eaten Derek got up to fill her plate once again.

"So have you thought of any names for our little pumpkin? She'll be making her appearance pretty soon," he commented as he set her plate down and settle beside her once again.

"Umm." Meredith was silent for a moment. "I don't think you'll like my idea."

It had been an innocent question and Derek certainly hadn't expected that response. At this point, he would like pretty much any idea she had, so long as agreeing would make it more likely for him to get back into her good graces at some point. If he had been eating out of the palm of her hand while they were still happy, it was nothing compared to now.

"What is your idea?" Derek asked gently. "Tell me so we can talk about it."

Meredith hesitated. "Well . . . I was thinking about naming the baby after Cristina. I mean, not Cristina because that's just kind of weird, but maybe like Christine or Kristy for a girl. I don't really know, but she's helped so much, and I want her and Burke to be Godparents too, I don't know . . ." Her rambled trailed off and she was left staring at her stomach in silence.

Unsure how to respond most positively, Derek started with the easy point. "I think it would be a great idea to make Cristina and Burke the Godparents."

"Really?" Meredith looked up at him with an expression he would label as surprise.

"Definitely. Burke is one of my best friends and, honestly, I like Cristina. I really respect her as a doctor and a person. She's great for you." The response was actually one hundred percent honest. He had never really gotten on that well with Cristina but he had nothing against her, and he had to love her for how much she cared for Meredith, though he didn't always approve of how she went about caring for Meredith.

"She likes you too, you know . . . well, at least she did before . . ."

There was a huge, uncomfortable pause as Meredith finally touched on the huge issue between them that they had never confronted head on.

Feeling as though he was obligated to break the silence, Derek finally said, "Meredith, I am so sorry. I haven't ever really apologized, but I want you to know that I regret it every second of every day. I would do anything to take it back."

"You can't," she said sharply, severing his heart once again.

"I know," he whispered. "But, Meri, please know how sorry I am."

"I know," she sighed. "But it can't change anything."

Derek laid his head on her forearm. "I know."

Jerking her arm away, Meredith resumed eating, clearly as an avoidance method. Derek felt sick to his stomach. He had thought that apologizing to her would help, but it had just made everything worse. She had essentially accepted his apology, but nothing had changed. Derek didn't feel as though a burden had been taken from his chest, he just felt worse as he realized just how deeply the scars from his action ran.

"What are we going to do?" Derek asked after a couple of minutes.

"What?"

"What are we going to do about us?" Derek clarified. "I mean, we're still married, technically."

Tears filled Meredith's eyes and she flung her fork down onto her plate with a clatter. "I don't know," she nearly shouted. "I don't know what I want!"

"Okay." Derek instinctively held his hands up in the surrender position. "Okay."

"I don't want to talk about it," she muttered, staring down at her nearly empty plate.

"No need," Derek reassured her. "Want more to eat?"

She shook her head and scraped the final bites from her plate.

Derek stood from his spot and took the dish from in front of her. "I'll clean this up, why don't you go back to bed?"

Shaking her head again, she slumped down on her stool and laid her head down on the counter.

Tentatively, Derek rubbed a hand over her back. It made him feel slightly better about the situation when she relaxed into his touch, and he set down the plate to rub with both hands, gently massaging her bare shoulders. Meredith moaned and he was encouraged to go on, forcing himself not to become aroused from the combination of the sounds coming from her mouth, her scent, and the fact that he was finally touching her, even if it was just a friendly backrub. The tank top she was wearing allowed him to touch the bare skin of her neck and shoulders, and it was heavenly, even softer and smoother than he remembered.

He could feel how tired she was getting under his hands, and after several minutes, he asked, "Ready for bed?"

She let out a long soft sigh. "I'll just go lay on the couch until you're done."

"Are you sure? Feel free to go to your bed; I won't be at all insulted. Our little one needs you well rested." He took the liberty of running a hand across her stomach and he took victory in the fact that she didn't flinch away.

Rolling her shoulders and stretching her arms over her head in a way put her breasts on a lovely display, she repeated, "I'll lay on the couch."

"Alright," Derek told her. "I'll put the extra food in your frigid."

"Thanks, Derek. For everything."

"No problem."

And it really wasn't a problem in fact it was a joy. This small involvement with her pregnancy was a memory he knew he would savor for the rest of his life. He just loved her, and his unborn child, so much. This was a much better way to spend his night than sleeping.

He made quick work of the kitchen, and put the extra food on two plates, carefully covering them and putting them in her frigid to be accompanied by her bottled water and cold pizza. After he finished wiping down the counters and checking to make sure all the burners were off, he went into the living room to say goodbye to Meredith. He was not surprised to find her sound asleep on the couch, the light snores indicating that she was already in a fairly deep sleep. Derek knew it would take a lot to wake her.

Kneeling down on the floor next to her, he ran a hand over her stomach. "Hey, little baby," he whispered, keeping his voice low enough that he wouldn't risk waking Meredith. "This is your daddy. I haven't gotten to talk to you much, but I just wanted to let you know how much I love you. I'm so excited for you to be born and to finally get to hold you. Your room is all ready for you. You can stay there as soon as your mommy is ready to let you spend the night with me."

There was a small kick against his hands, and Derek adjusted his voice to an even more soothing tone. "Go to sleep, my little one. Don't wake up your mommy." There was another kick. "I know you are starting to feel a little crowded, baby, but you need to stay in there for another two months. Your mommy and I want you to be ready when you come out of there. I hope you know that everything is going to be okay. Things are a little complicated with mommy and daddy, but that isn't going to affect you. We're both going to love you so much, and I promise that I am always going to be there for you. I'm going to take some time off when you're born to get to know you, and I'll always leave work when you need me to. And I'm always going to love you so much. Sweet dreams, my love. Your daddy loves you."

Derek placed a light kiss on Meredith's stomach and stood up. He looked down at her lying on the couch. She didn't look uncomfortable, but Derek knew that with the way her back had been bothering her she shouldn't sleep on the couch all night. She would probably sleep better in her bed too, and it was obvious to anyone who looked at her that she desperately needed a goodnight's sleep.

After a brief hesitation, Derek reached down to gather her up into his arms. She was sleeping deep enough that he knew he could get her into her bed without really waking her and she would be so much more comfortable.

With an arm supporting her neck and shoulders and the other under her knees, Derek lifted her into his arms, pausing a moment to soak in the sensation. It had been so long since he had held her. Far too long. She felt so good folded against his chest. The pregnancy had definitely made her heavier, but she was still petite and he loved her so much he would have carried her even if she was fifty pounds heavier just so he could hold her. He wished that he could settle into the armchair and keep her in his arms all night, but he knew that was far from a possibility.

Savoring each second, Derek slowly carried her to her bed, pausing for a full two minutes beside it before he laid her down, so he could try and commit every detail of her in his arms to memory. He had taken holding her for granted in the past and he wasn't going to make the same mistake now.

His arms felt empty when he finally placed her gently in her bed. She stretched and shifted and he stayed absolutely still until she settled. At that point, he gently covered her, and stroked the hair back from her forehead. Before he left the room, he placed a delicate kiss on her forehead, and whispered, "I love you so much, Meri," before quietly turning off the lights and letting himself out of her apartment.

I know this is kind of short but I absolutely love this chapter. There might actually still be a little more to this part – I might do a Mer POV kind of thing because her voice really wasn't heard and there are some thoughts of hers that I would like to communicate. We'll see. Please give me comments.

Please Review.