Disclaimer: All the Twilight stuff belongs to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. I would like to say a big thank you to TeamAllTwilight for her on going help and assistance in writing this story. Thank you to Jess2002, for being the go to girl for fixing the mistakes made by TAT and me.
Chapter: 25 Letter's
31st of December
EPOV
It's New Year's Eve; Bella and I are making the food for tonight. The guy's all take turns on going to each other's house for the holiday. Everyone stays at the person's house, and have breakfast together the next morning. It's was Will's turn this year, but due to what happened with Bella they have all decided to all come over to Grandpa's instead.
Cole is busy putting the fairy lights on the ceiling. Bella is sitting on a chair in the kitchen making her special dips and decorating the cake she made. The other guy's and their wives are all bringing something each to eat, as well as drink. I am making cocktails following Grandpa's recipes; some are looking, not to mention smelling lethal.
My mind has been preoccupied by the letter my parents left me. I still haven't opened it yet; Bella hasn't pushed it knowing that I need to get in the right frame of mind before I open it. No one from the Cullen family has called me either, looks like I am still on their shit list.
Its six o'clock and Grandpa, Martin, and Cole have gone to collect the blow up beds from Will's. Then they have to pick up the fireworks Cole ordered, and more beer. Bella has gone for a nap, the painkillers she is taking are still on the high side, and make her sleepily. I am sitting in the rocking chair next to the window in our room. Bella is still having nightmares, so I stay close. She still talks in her sleep, and I have managed to catch bits and pieces of her nightmares and dreams. They are all different, yet the same. There is one where she in the woods and some are about what happened to my mom and dad. There is a strange dream, where she is in a train station. She says she is not scared when she is there, just feels confused. We have talked about it, and she does not know where she is in the dream, but feels safe as there is a person, or two with her.
I am looking at the envelope which has my parent's letter in it, after taking a few deep breaths I open it.
16th of April, 1997
Seeing the date, I know they wrote this, two weeks before they died and two months before my sixth birthday. It is written by my mother, I can recognize her handwriting.
Dear Edward my little Man,
Hi sweetie. I am not really sure why I am writing this, but I feel the need too. I think with all that has happened these last few months, I am just on edge. Your father keeps telling me not to worry that he will keep us safe, but I just can't get rid of the dreadful feeling I have.
I wanted to write a letter for you to read when you are older, just in case I am not here anymore, but don't tell your dad, it is our little secret.
I love you very much; you make me very proud in everything you do. You are so smart you get that from your father, believe me when I say that. I can't believe that you are starting first grade after this summer. You are going to love it, me, not so much. I am going to miss you so much when you go to school. The school has offered me full time work too; I still don't know if I will take it. It all depends on the outcome of one thing, but I am still going to miss you. I love teaching you, and you have taken to music much like me; you are so gifted. Your dad cried when he heard you play the piano, the first time. He hid so that you would not see his tears, but I did and he was such the proud father. He is even talking about buying a record company, so if that is what you wish to do when you are older; he already has the right people there for you. I laugh and remind him that you are only turning six, he just shrugs and says that he wants you to be anything you dream about, at this I remind him that last week you said you wanted to be a super-hero, he told me that he already got someone making you an outfit, so that you can been the best dressed super-hero around.
I love the fact you love playing the piano, I hope you never lose the love of playing. I watch as you play and make up your own music. Your little hands move so fast, I find it hard at times to believe that it's just you that is playing.
I am going have close this for now, there is a little boy running around pretending to be Batman, and I need to get him in the bath and then put him to bed. Before I go I want to tell you in case anything happens that I… that we, me and your dad, that is, love you. We are proud of you, we will be proud of you no matter what line of work you do even if you end up as a janitor. As long as you try hard and are happy in your life, which is all we could ever want for you. If we can't be there with you physically, we will be with you spiritually. Take care my little man, and take care of my heart, as I left it with you.
I love you.
plus que ma propre vie (more than my own life).
Love,
Mom and Dad xoxoxo
By the time I had finish reading the letter; my eyes are blurry, filled with the tears; I am crying. I am crying so much that I did not hear Bella wake up. I don't know that she is awake until she hugs me in her soft loving arms.
"I am sorry I woke you up, baby," I say a little hoarsely.
"Sweetie, you didn't wake me up, and even if you did, you would never have to say sorry to me." She looks right in my eyes as she speaks, and hugs me again. We stay like this for more than an hour, not once did she ask me about the letter. Bella never pries into anything that is difficult for me, she always waits for me to tell her, or show her.
As it's getting late, I decide to get a shower before helping Bella with hers. Before I go, I hand her my mother letter for her to read. I'm in the shower for twenty minutes before heading out to get Bella. She has set both our clothes for tonight out on her bed. As I hug her from behind she turns around to face me. I see that she has been crying, as she gives me a weak smile.
"I love you, thank you for sharing the letter with me. She sounds lovely," she says as she kisses my cheek.
"Yeah she was, and my dad was really amazing too. My Mom showered me with love, I had forgotten how much until I read the letter." I hug Bella and kiss her nose. "Now, come on baby girl, let's get you washed up." I give her a wink and a smile, and pick her up.
She looks up at me smirking. "You know it's a shame you didn't get me dirty first." I am so astounded by her comment; I can feel my mouth still hanging open. She moves her body and slides down my side, once she is standing on her feet; she slaps my arm and heads for the shower. I just stand there with my mouth still open, and she glances back at me over her shoulder. "Are you coming, or are you just going to stand there look like a fish out of water?" I close my mouth, swallow and smile.
"Well, if you really want me to get you dirty, I am sure that it won't take me long to come up with something." I move quickly over to her, pulling her back into my arms and crush my mouth against hers. I not only was kissing her, I was consuming her. I keep up the attack with my mouth, as I walk us into the shower, closing the bathroom door with my foot. We have been showering with both of us naked, for the last two days. I kid you not; Bella is rocking one sexy body. As we shed her clothing, my hands travel across her flesh. I stop kissing her so I can adjust the water and drop the towel I had wrapped around my waist. I begin kissing her again, as we step inside the shower. I only stop kissing her so that I can wash her long beautiful hair. After the shower, I carry her to our bed still making out with her. I can't keep my hands to myself as I trail them across the soft skin of her breasts. I keep my hands on her, but keep it to the top half only. I know Bella is touching more of my body, and has let her hand travel down to run her fingers through my happy trail. As much as my cock wants her attention, I have been patient. I would rather wait until she has her cast off before we did anything along those lines.
As I lay her on the bed, I move the towel that is around her. I give her small kisses down her body. I kiss her along the healing line left from where she stabbed herself. I have kissed her here before, and find pleasure in kissing all her scars, everyone that I see anyway. After I have kissed the scars, I kiss across her body stopping when I reach her left breast. I slowly begin kissing her nipple, stopping the kissing to flick it with my tongue. She threads her fingers into my hair, and pulls on it. I must say that I love when she does this; it is a fucking turn on. I start to suck on her nipple as my hand massage the other one. Bella lets out a long loud moan, which goes straight to my cock. I wasn't sure it was possible, but I am even harder than I was before. My fingers start pinching and pulling at her right, as she moans out more. I have learned over these last few weeks that Bella likes the hard stuff, as much as the soft stuff, just like me. I change sides taking her right nipple into my mouth. Pinching her left nipple now, while flicking her right with my tongue, makes my girl moan out even louder. She is pulling my hair and yet pressing her breast tighter to my mouth. She says my name, and I look up at her. Looking into her eyes, I see both lust and love. I am sure that my eyes are showing the same things. She pulls my head back and leans forward kissing me hard. I know this is going somewhere fast, and we both need to take a step back. Almost as if we are reading each other's minds, she pulls back at the same time as me. We both smile giving each other a look that says, 'I really want this, but we need to stop'. As I roll myself off her, I keep my eyes on hers. "I fucking love you, so fucking much."
She bites her lip, and smiles. "I love you too, Edward. Come on we better get dressed, before I tie you to the bed instead."
I chuckle, and then the thought makes me hotter. "Bella you can tie me to the bed anytime baby, because turnabout is fair play. And baby, I know I will be defiantly tying you to it, soon," I say. I pull her up to me and give her one more scorching kiss and a nip on the neck before we get dressed.
Bella is in a midnight blue dress, I fucking love that color on her. It is also a really short dress; it only goes to half way up her thigh. I recognize this as the dress she sent me a picture of the day she went missing. I start to feel sad, about what I almost lost. Again, Bella brings me out of my thoughts as she touches my face. I give her a smile knowing that she came back to me. I will do any and everything to hold on to her till the end of time. I am going to make sure that I don't lose her.
"You ready for some dancing?" She asks me with a smile, and a twitch of her hips.
I chuckle, and kiss her forehead. "Baby, I am always ready for you." I give her a wink before picking her up and taking her downstairs. We are only down the stairs for ten minutes before Grandpa, Martin, and Cole come through the door. They all go upstairs to start getting the rooms set up. Grandpa, Martin, and Cole are sharing a room. Will and his wife are going into the spare room. Harry, and his wife, is taking the living room. Jack and his wife are sleeping in the basement/gym. The basement/gym area is really nice, Martin did it up well. Bella and I offered to take the gym, and give them our room. They said no, since there is no bathroom down there they didn't want Bella having to navigate the steps. Sue, Leah, and Seth are coming too. Sue is going to sleep in Martin's room. Bree, Leah and Seth are staying in the room with Bella and me.
Lilly and Ella had called yesterday asking Bella and I to come over for Sunday lunch on the ninth. We have both agreed to it, plus Grandpa, Martin, and Cole have planned a fishing trip that weekend as well. Grandpa says that you can get some great fishing in the first weeks of the year.
As Bella and I do the last minute touches to the living room, Cole comes in putting on some music. As soon as the sounds start from the speakers, there is a knock on the door. Everyone is arriving all around the same time; it is strange how that always seems to work out that way. I am surprised to see Rose turn up. It turns out her mom has gone to Jasper's house to ring in the new year there, and she wanted to come here instead. We were happy to see her, and welcomed her with open arms.
The night goes well. There are plenty of laughs; all the ladies are in the living room and the guys are outside. The older guys are giving us younger guys' advice.
"I will give this piece of advice, to any of you," Will says. He stops long enough to point at each Cole, Martin, Seth, and I. "I know you don't have kids yet, but may have them in the future. So remember this now, it is important. If you are doing this stop now, if you don't do it now, then don't ever start. Advice number one, don't use the word DIRTY in a sexual manner," he stops talking. Grandpa, Harry, and Jack are nodding their heads in agreement, the entire time I am choking on the beer I was sipping. Choking maybe an off term in reality, it flew out my nose as soon as he said sexual manner. "I am not judging anyone; hey I have done it myself. Take my advice though and stop now, here is why. It will bite you in your ass suddenly, when you turn to your infant daughter and say 'look at you now, your dirty girl'. Trust me someday if you have a daughter you will say the term 'dirty girl', and you will feel ashamed and creeped out by it. Second, the word screw it's another word you don't want to use. You know 'wanna screw around?' Then later in life telling your child 'don't screw around'. Both are proper words with proper meanings, but when we change them for pleasure, well; we ruin them for proper use in the future. So, don't use dirty or screw in sexual terms," he says. Dropping his voice to almost a whisper he brings out the big one. "For God's sake, don't ever use the sentence, 'do what daddy tells you'." Jack then wiggles his eyebrows at us, and we all fall out laughing. Just as we are almost calmed down, Jacks wife shouts at him. "You didn't seem to take your own advice, when you said that last night!" At this point we all begin laughing again. I shake my head quickly, trying to get that image out of my head. (N.A this joke belongs to Dara O'Briain, but I love it. I will put the link at the bottom. We did change parts of it though to reflect the American side of the story. No harm, no foul to the fans of the original. I do urge the American readers to check out the link and see it the English way. Very amusingly funny!)
As it gets closer to time for ringing in the new year, we all go out to the back deck. Grandpa bought some champagne to ring in the new year. Bella is only allowed a half a glass because of the medications she has to take. As the countdown begins, I grab Bella and pull her to me. I place our glasses down on the table next to us. I look right into her eyes as the ticker gets to ten. I cup her head, threading my fingers in her hair. Tilting her body back my mouth makes purchase on her collar bone, and up her neck. Our bodies are fully pressed together by five. I continue to work my way up her throat and as the clock strikes midnight my mouth takes hers in a deep, passion filled kiss. As the fireworks flash above us, the fireworks between us are flashing too. I slow down our kissing enough to allow her dipped body to stand, without breaking our lip lock. I pick her up and bring her up pulling her as close as I can get her, still kissing her the whole time. I am completely entranced by her, and I don't see anyone or anything but her.
"Hey are you planning on let her go sometime soon? I kind of want to wish her a happy new year. I have already talked to everyone else." I stop kissing Bella, and turn to see Rose with a smile on her face. I look behind her a notice everyone is facing us with huge smiles on their faces too. Before I can let her go, Rose is pulling her in for a hug, hugging me at the same time. We stand here still together and spend the next few minutes wishing people a Happy New Year. Seth makes sure to tell me how hot the kiss was.
We spend the next half an hour watching the fireworks. Bella sits on my lap the whole time. This has been one of the best nights of my life. Rose decided to stay with us too, so the four girls take the bed leaving me and Seth with the floor. We all manage to have a few laughs before falling asleep.
1st of January 2011
I wake to find Bella not in the room; all the other girls are still sleeping. I head down the stairs and find her in the kitchen starting on breakfast for everyone. "How did you get down here? You know you could have wakened me. I wouldn't have minded," I tell her. As I bring her close to me hugging and kissing her. She looks up and smiles at me, giving me another kiss on my lips.
"I know, but you look so peaceful. Plus Seth was awake, he carried me down," Bella says pointing at Seth. Seth is sitting at the table with an apron on and mixing pancake batter.
Seth stops mixing and flexes his muscles at me and smiles. "I may be gay, but I can lift her." I laugh, and nod in agreement.
The morning goes well, and everyone helps out. It is a really good start for us all to the year. Everyone helped clean up before leaving to head for their own homes.
9th of January 2011
Sunday lunch with Lilly, Phil, Ella and her family went well. Ella shows us picture of the baby boy that she is about to adopt. He has Spinal-Bifida; his mother is only sixteen and was thrown out of her house when she told her parents that she was pregnant. She always planned to put him up for adoption. She knew that the baby would stand a better chance with another family than with a teen mom. The young mother was heartbroken to hear about the baby having Spinal-Bifida. She was certain that he would not get adopted because of it. She was ecstatic when she found out that Ella and Walter were still planning on adopting him and caring for him. Bella was so happy for them; she was pleased they would care for a baby that had such a hard life to face. The day was lovely, and we both went to sleep that night completely tired.
Monday morning, I am running around the track at school. Usually, Bella joins me when I run in the mornings, but because of her cast she has been unable too. I had even stopped going for a while, I just didn't want to leave her. I fucking hate leaving Bella, even if it just going to the bathroom. Peter says that after what has happened that it's normal and it will take time. I left today, because Rose had come by. I could see in her face, she was in need of some girl time. I have been here for two hours, because I wanted to give them some time together. I also needed to have a good workout, because I have missed practice for three weeks now. I am on my sixth mile when my phone rings. I see it is my home number I smile and answer it.
"Hey baby, are you missing…"
A voice interrupts me, "Edward," my smile fades as I hear Rose's voice on the other side.
"Sorry Rose, thought that you…"
Again Rose interrupts me. "Edward, you need you come back here now. There is something wrong with Bella." Before she has finished what she is saying and I am already running to my car.
"Rose, what happened? What is wrong with her?" I feel bad for the sharpness of my voice, but don't dwell on it.
"I don't know, she was laughing and talking to me. I got the mail for her, and she opened a letter, and after reading it, she started baking. She has not stopped. She just doesn't look right, Edward. I did not what to ask about the letter. I have called Martin, and Charlie they're on their way too," Rose's voice is full of worry.
"Rose, I am just coming up to the house, so I am going to hang up now." I don't wait for her to answer me before I hang up, this should have took me ten minutes, but I did it in three. I park the car and jump out, running into the house. As soon as I enter the kitchen, I can see what Rose is talking about. Bella is clearly upset, and there is an emptiness in her eyes. Other than the hurt I see, they seem dead. She is talking to Rose, but you can hear the hurt in her voice. I stand there looking at her, trying to calm down before I find out who has done this to her.
"Oh hey sweetie, I didn't hear you come in," Bella says as she moves over to me give me a kiss. I kiss her before looking above head as Rose gives me a nod. Rose leaves us in the kitchen alone together.
"Baby girl, what is wrong?"
She looks down, fidgeting her hands. "Rose called you didn't she?"
I pull her to me kissing her hair, and holding her in my arms. "Yeah, she was worried, and by the looks of things she was right to worry. Do you want to talk to me about it?"
She shakes her head, but hands me a letter from her pocket. "No not really, but you can read the letter if you want…" She stops takes a deep breath, then huffs it back out. "I mean, I want you to read it. I just… I can't… talk about it just now. I just want to make some more stuff," she says pulling back from our hug. She hands me the letter, before starting on some more recipes. I know by the way she keeps looking at me she would rather I read the letter somewhere else. I kiss her head, and walk into the living room.
"Is she okay?" Rose asks, jumping up as I come in.
"No," I tell her rubbing my face. "But, she gave me the letter she got. Could you go sit with her while I read it?"
She nods her head and moves toward the kitchen. "Grandpa and Martin should be here in about twenty minutes, or so they just called," she says holding up her cell phone.
I sit down taking deep breath before opening the letter. I look at the bottom first to see who it is from and I am stunned to see that it from Renee. I go back to the top and read the letter.
To Isabella Swan
I've got great news! They have deemed me healthy, and I am now out that place you sent me too. I knew I would get free of it someday; you can't beat me, as I have God on my side.
I am sending you this letter to tell you to stay away from my family. I know that you went to my mother's house, and I want the money she gave you; it's mine. I will keep them safe from you; you're nothing more than a demon child. Look at what happened to that nice man, you killed him. I feel sad for his poor family. It should have been you that died not him; you took another one of God's children by killing him. That's three now Isabella, you are going to rot in hell.
You still need proof that you are evil Isabella? Look at all the people you have hurt since moving to Forks. It was a nice place until you got there and planted the seeds of evil. All those children taking drugs and what about the young man I saw you with? Are you fucking him? Well of course you are, that would be the only reason he would ever be with you. You're nothing but a plain ass, skinny, ugly, fucking spawn of all evil; a demon child. You stole him from that other girl, now she is good and beautiful and all alone. Unlike what you are, she is an angel. You are a demon, and now you a whore demon.
Remember Bella, everything you touch dies. This is your punishment from God. Does Father know that you killed his wife, does he? How do you think he is going to feel when he finds out that you killer her? He will hate you just like I do. As for that man who thinks she was his mother too, well he is just like you another fucking demon. He helped you out with her, he made her weak so you were able to kill her. The two of you have killed many other people too. You two should be together, two demons together forever. Since you're a demon whore, I am sure you could have him and his friend too.
Well I have to go. I have people to see and things to do.
I will be seeing you really soon.
Renee Dwyer
I have to grip the arm of the couch, as I feel my anger rise up. Who in the fucking hell deemed her healthy? What kind of piece of shit, fuck head would do that? By the sounds of this letter, she is nowhere near being sane. I am still breathing deep as Grandpa and Martin come in. I am surprised that Martin has not gotten into trouble, with all the time he has taken off these past few months. Bella comes out and greets them, telling them she is fine and I have the letter before going back in to the kitchen. I wait as they both read it. Grandpa sits down upset as Martin calls the unit she was in to get more information from them.
"I don't know where I went wrong with Renee. I keep praying that she'll get help, and turn out a better person." I move over and sit next to Grandpa. "I don't want to give up, if there is a chance that she will be normal. But at the same time, I am so pissed at her for doing this to Bella. It took Peter two years to break down some off her walls. Bella believed that she was bad, a demon, its one off the main reason she let Jacob in her life. I thank God she didn't because, well you know. I hope this does push her back, with all that going on. I just can't watch her go back to thinking she is evil and that it's okay for people to hurt her." Grandpa, begins shaking I can clearly see how much he loves his daughter, but he also loves his granddaughter the same. I rub his back, as Martin comes back in.
"She got out on the thirty-first they're unsure why we weren't told. She is in a halfway house in Idaho. They said she wanted to come back here, but since you had already refused, they said that she was unable to come here because Bella was here. They said that she was not happy and thinks that is when she wrote the letter." Martin is clearly pissed off. I can see there isn't much love lost between him and Renee. "I have contacted the local police station, and they are going to keep an eye on her. I think we should keep an eye on the incoming mail." Martin comes over and sits next to us.
"Thank you son, I spoke to her at last week. She never said anything about her case being looked at. She did ask when she got out if she could move back in here. I thought that she was taking about eighteen month from now, when her case was due for review. I had told her no! I would love to see her, however, she cannot come back here. This is not only Bella's home, but yours too. She ended up screaming at me for ten minutes about how I could pick you two over her. I was already pissed at her, because she saw the news about Bella. She never once asked if she was okay. She asked about you, Edward, and then got pissed when I said that you were living here. I am at a loss. I don't know how to help her anymore. Not that anything I ever did helped her," Grandpa says looking down as he speaks. I feel my heart break for him.
I know that he loves Bella and will protect her as he has always done. There are also things that have happened between Renee and Martin, where he love them both so much. It looks like Renee has tried to make him choose between them; it is something Grandpa would not do. At the same time he knows that he has to keep Martin and Bella away from Renee. I know it hurts him, because she is clearly not right in the head.
We sit and talk about the best way to handle Renee being out. Martin calls Lilly and Ella, to let them know. To say that Lilly was not happy about this is an understatement. The fact that Renee was claiming to be her family, and using the family name did not help. But, I must say I was surprised that she kept it in when she was on the phone. Rose also found out about the contents of the letter, she talked to Bella about her dad. Telling Bella what he used to say to her to get her to do what he wanted, she also said a bit about her mom. I think this talk really helped Bella too.
Rose told her that where it is completely clear that Renee is ill. Rose's father is just a power hungry bastard. She muttered something about him becoming somebody's bitch, which made Bella laugh for the first time that day. I think that it helped that Rose could understand what she felt like, hearing that coming from a parent when they are supposed to love you.
By the end on the night Martin took six different boxes of muffin's and a cake with him claiming that the guy's in the office love Bella cooking. Bella and I took some more cookies, muffins, and cupcakes to the children's home, and the homeless shelters. We still had about ten boxes left, at home. Fuck, I am going have to do more working out, or coach is going to kill me when we go back to school on Monday. Her muffins are so good.
14th of January 2011
The week has slowly passed, Peter came by the next day after the letter and talked to Bella. I can see now, why Bella still sees him every week. Renee has sent Bella letters before, she even asked to see her three years ago, but when Bella went, and Renee attacked her again. She was slamming her hand in a door, which is how she got the weird scar there on her inner wrist. We are sitting outside as it is unusually warm and dry. We are having a picnic, as Liam, our new chief of police shows up.
"Bella, Edward, these are for you," he says handing us court orders. It's for Royce's court date, for what he did to Rose. The hearing is in four weeks' time.
"Thanks," I say giving him a nod.
"Sorry to bring bad news. I know you had a bad few weeks," he says. I nod as he walks back to his car, and Bella sighs.
"I am going to give Rose a call. We knew that this was coming, but it still took me by surprise." She turns and looks at me. I pull her close and kiss her temple.
"Me too, baby, me too." I pick her up carry her into the house, so she can call Rose.
http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=hyEy021HsFU&feature=related it's in the first few minutes.
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