A/N: Alright, so school restarts next Monday, and I'm extremely nervous. But on the bright side, my least favorite lecturer who happens to also be my advisor had some really nice things to say, so I'm happy. Anyway, I have Wednesdays free unless my schedule changes, but I could use those days specifically to write.

Chapter 26

"I'm not going to school today," she said to her mother as she stared at the roof. "It's the last week, so I don't have to go."

"Well, okay, but I have to work now," she said as she looked down at her watch. "I'll leave money on the counter if you want to buy anything to eat."

School was off the table for her, since she knew Jana would want to talk about how amazing Jon was and her heart couldn't take it. At least not yet.

She hadn't talked to Danny at all since he took her home, and she was beginning to feel guilty for it. Even if she didn't love him, she still had some feelings for him, and he was still her boyfriend. So she called him over, hoping that they could sort everything out.

"Hey," she said quietly as he stood in front of the door. She couldn't tell if he was looking at her since she was staring at her feet. "Do you… wanna come in?" she asked, barely above whisper.

"Depends… are you gonna be distant?" She rolled her eyes and grabbed his hand, pulling him inside. She figured that if she acted like her heart wasn't slowly ripping apart, everything would fix itself over time. "Why is my girlfriend acting like my girlfriend again?" he asked, sitting on the couch.

"'Cause I feel like it," she replied as she locked the door. Mox came out of her room and began growling and chewing on Danny's pants, causing to quickly run and scoop him up. "We've been over this, Moxley," she said, looking at the dog straight in his eyes.

"Give him a break; he's just not used to me." He grabbed Mox out of her hands then began stroking his fur. "See, he's relaxed now. His eyes are closed."

Amber shrugged and sat down on the couch with him. "I'm sorry for being distant yesterday; it's just that… sex, y'know," she said without further explanation. "My birthday was amazing, and I have you to thank for that. It's the best birthday I've had in years." She wasn't lying about that, but it was mostly because she hadn't celebrated her birthday much until this one.

"Glad I can be the one to make it special, babe." He planted a kiss on her cheek then placed Mox on the floor. "I hope my mom wasn't too scary, though; I don't want you to think you can't come over anymore because of my mother."

"If I'm there while she's there, then I'd probably just stay in your room," she said with a shrug. "Or we could just go to the park like we used to."

He quickly shook his head and patted her thigh. "We're past that already. Also, I wanna be able to put my hands all over you without the threat of getting fined for public indecency." He scooted closer to her then brushed his lips against her neck, causing her to shiver a bit. "Like now, I can put my hand between your legs and run my tongue along your neck and I don't have to worry about anybody interrupt—" He quickly moved away from her as he heard a knock on her door. "I thought you said your mother was at work," he whispered.

"She is. I don't know who it is." She wasn't that nervous, since she knew her mother would've just walked in the house instead of knocking. But just to be safe, she hid Danny in her room and made her way to the door, feeling a mix of relief and pain when she saw Jana standing in front of the door. "Oh… hey," she greeted with a weak smile.

"I almost expected you to be in school. I'm glad you're not; I wanted to hang out with you today to make up for missing your birthday," she said, leaning against the doorframe. "Aren't you gonna invite me in?"

"Come in." She stepped aside, letting Jana in the house. "It's just Jana, Danny," she yelled as she shut the door.

"Ooh, did I interrupt something?" she asked as Danny emerged from her bedroom. "Have you been working out more, Danny?"

Amber sighed, walking to the bathroom. It didn't matter if she took Danny away or not; she already got Jon, anyway. Nothing could've hurt more than that.

She sat down on the toilet, listening to the sounds of their laughter. Suddenly, she got a phone call, and as if he sensed she was thinking about him, Jon was the name that flashed across the screen. She was tempted to answer, just so she could hear the truth from him. But she also didn't want to answer because already knew the awful truth, and hearing it from him would've been torture.

However, maybe that's what she needed to get over him. She flipped it open and brought it up to her ear. "Hello, Jon."

"You actually answer your phone? Wow," he said with a laugh. He was somewhere quiet, but she could hear him walking around. Unless he wasn't alone and it was someone else walking around. In which case, she expected it. "Well, you answered me last time, but you hung up on me. You did it before, too, bu—"

"Why did you call me?" She was getting tired of listening to him try to act casual.

"Is your mom working? I wanted to come over today to talk. Or we can go somewhere else if you want; I just wanna see you."

She sighed, figuring it would be best for them to stay apart, no matter how much she wanted him to wrap his arms around her. "Danny's here, so you can't come," she said, now pacing back and forth. "But I just… Tell me the truth, Jon. About everything."

She heard him sigh, followed by a few weird noises. "Meet me somewhere, then. It's better to tell you in person."

It was a trick to get her to be close to him again, and she wasn't going to fall for it; she knew him too well. "If you're ready to tell me the truth, then let me know. Until then, fuck off." She hung up the phone yet again and sighed, leaning against the bathroom door.

"Yeah, I love her," she heard Danny say. "I'm afraid she'll fall in love with someone else, though."

Unfortunately, it was too late for that. If she met Danny first, she probably would've fallen for him; he was sweet, charming, and caring. Who wouldn't want to be with him. She left the bathroom, painting a fake smile on her face as she made her way towards them.

"Can you get out of the house tonight? The other Amber is having a party and it should be really fun," Jana said, walking towards her. "Plus, I'm pretty sure Jon is gonna be there and I wanna get with him again." She winked, and Amber felt a lump form in her throat.

She didn't want to go. Seeing him would be one thing, but seeing him and knowing what he was going to do was crushing. She opened her mouth to speak only for Danny to answer for her. "We'll be there," he said, pulling her close to him. After noticing the look on her face, he ruffled her hair and gave her a warm smile. "If you don't enjoy it I'll make it up to you; promise," he said before kissing her forehead.

Amber had to tell her mother that she wasn't going to be home when she finished working, just to avoid any more problems. Unsurprisingly, she was fine with it.

Danny stayed until they had to go get ready. Jana already brought her party clothes so she could get ready at her house, and Amber, well… it was her house. "Are you wearing that?" Jana asked, noticing Amber was staring at a sweatshirt. "Christ, you can't go to a party in that. Move out of the way." Jana began searching her closet for something party-worthy, but in all honesty, that wasn't what she wanted.

Amber wanted to be invisible to Jon specifically, which is why she planned to wear a sweatshirt and some jeans, even if the weather didn't allow it. "Did you tell Jon I was gonna be there?"

Jana threw a skirt on the bed and shook her head. "He doesn't even know I'm gonna be there; I wanna surprise him. Now put on this outfit."

It was a short denim skirt and a black tube top, and she had to admit, it was a cute outfit. It's just that she didn't want to be noticed at all. She put on the outfit and looked at herself in the mirror, wondering if she could somehow sneak the sweatshirt behind Jana's back. "How much do you like Jon?" she asked, just to see how serious she wanted their relationship to be.

"A lot, which is why I plan to keep him to myself all night. I can't let him lose interest just yet; not until I lose interest, of course," she smirked and smoothed down her outfit. "I think there's gonna be alcohol there, so I'm pretty sure he's gonna get drunk and want to be all over me."

It took everything in her to not cry right in front of Jana. It shouldn't hurt; Jon was never hers to begin with. But there was a point in time when she thought that he could be hers and only hers eventually.

She just wanted the party to be over with.

"I'll bet you a dollar that when we find David, his tongue is gonna be down the other Amber's throat," Danny said to Amber as he walked into the party with her. It was already full, seeing as they came late. Jana took a while longer to get ready, and there was no way she was leaving her in the house alone.

Jana left them to go look for Jon, which she assumed would be hard with the amount of people at the party. Maybe he wasn't there at all; hopefully he wasn't. "I want a beer," she said as they sat down on the couch. She needed some alcohol in her system to relax her and stop thinking about Jon.

"Already? Damn, I'll go get some." He left her to get the beer, and she felt out of place with everyone around her. There was no one to talk to; Danny and Jana were both gone, so she was sitting there awkwardly looking around.

That was until someone she didn't recognize sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He wreaked of alcohol, and with the way he stumbled over to her, she could tell she was in trouble. "Why are you here all alone?" he slurred, scooting closer to her.

She immediately stood up and speed walked away from him, then bumping into someone. When she looked up to apologize to the person, her heart immediately sank. As she tried to walk around him, she felt him grab her arm and pull her towards him. "What are you doing here?" he shouted over the noise.

"Jana's looking for you," she simply stated, pulling her arm away from him.

She went off to look for Danny, and found him talking to David with two beers in his hands. "Oh, here's your beer," he said once he noticed her. "I'm sorry, I just haven't seen my brother in a few days." He nodded at him and winked. "I'll see you later, bro."

He grabbed Amber's hand and walked around with her as she sipped her beer. The couch they were on was full, so they had to find somewhere else to sit. She hadn't spoken to him that much since she saw Jon, but the more alcohol that went in her system, the easier it was to get her to talk. "Wanna sit outside then?" she suggested.

"I have a better idea; what if we go to Amber's room and we can have our own party," he said suggestively.

Immediately, Amber froze up and shook her head. "I, uh… I'm on my period," she lied. She couldn't have sex with him again until she knew for sure she was over Jon, otherwise she'd just go back to being distant and hating herself.

He sighed and shrugged. "Alright then. Try not to get blood on anything, I guess." He sounded disappointed, as if he was waiting to have sex with her.

"I'm sorry," she said as he walked around with her. "Wanna go outside now?" he nodded and led her outside. There was a cool breeze outside, and normally that would be enough to relax her, but it wasn't doing much to help. And while everything around her started feeling unreal due to the beer, her mind was still on one thing.

All she could think about was Jon's hands all over Jana and vice versa, and how much he probably enjoyed it. It was tearing her up on the inside, and she had no idea how it looked on the outside. However, she didn't care at all how she looked on the outside. She felt Danny tapping her shoulder, snapping her out of her thoughts. "You're a lightweight, aren't you?" he asked with a smile.

She looked at him and gave him a weak smile. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom." She walked off and quickly gulped down the rest of her beer. It was going to be a long night, and she wanted to make sure she was fully intoxicated so she wouldn't remember any of it.

She didn't go to the bathroom; in fact, she didn't even need to use the bathroom. She just wanted to get away from Danny and everyone else. The bedroom was the first place she thought of; it was quiet compared to the outside when the door was shut, so she had time to think to herself.

And as if she wasn't meant to be alone, the door swung open, causing her to roll her eyes. That was until her brain registered exactly who the person was. "You want the truth now, or am I still supposed to be fucking off?" her heart was beating extremely fast, and she felt her eyes welling up with tears. As much as she loved him, she didn't want to see him or be near him. It hurt her too much, knowing that he was doing just fine without her. "Why are you crying?"

"Go away, Jon," she croaked as she backed away from him.

"I'm not here to hurt you; I just wanna talk to you, alright? I wanna talk about what's going on with you, and I wanna clear the air with everything that I've been keeping from you." She buried herself in the pillows, which somewhat discouraged him, but he had to do it for both of them.

He locked the door to avoid being interrupted. He was prepared to leave afterwards, but not before he finished what he was saying. "Are you gonna start or what?" she asked, but it come out as a muffled mess since her head was still in the pillows.

He sat at the edge of the bed, staring straight ahead. It was going to be hard to admit what he did, especially since he'd been lying and hiding it from her for so long. "You wanted the truth, so… I cheated on your mother multiple times, and not just with you. I cheated after we had our own thing going on too."

She slowly sat up, feeling like her heart fell apart even more. "When and how many times?" she asked. It was like hearing that your celebrity crush wasn't the sweet person they portrayed themselves to be, but she thought that hearing the truth about him from his own mouth would've helped her get over him once and for all.

"A few times when your mom and I first got together so I'd have someplace to stay. I was basically whoring myself out for a bed. Then when she moved me in the house, I didn't have a reason to, so I stopped. Then I started again when we kissed the second time, and stopped when I came back. Then again the day after we had sex." He sighed then went further up on the bed. "I know I'm not the best person, and I'm pretty sure you wanna gouge my eyes out right now, but I did it for my own reasons."

For some reason, hearing the truth about him came as a shock, despite what she thought before. She had to learn the hard way about everything it seemed. It hurt, and she just wanted everyone to go away and leave her alone so she could start a brand new life without having to be dragged into this. "Why did you do it? Why did you drag me into this with you? Why couldn't you have just let me be happy instead feeling like I'm stuck somewhere I don't wanna be?" At that point tears were streaming down her face, and she didn't care at all how it looked.

"I tried, trust me. I might have lied about some things, but one thing I know for a fact I didn't lie about was having feelings for you. After we kissed, every time I cheated, I didn't even think of it as cheating on your mother; I thought of it as cheating on you mostly." He felt guilty when he heard her sniffling behind him. He knew it was the wrong thing, but his ego and pride got in the way of everything as usual. "Look, I wanted to get over you, so I did what I did to do that. I know who I am, and I didn't wanna hurt you, and I did it anyway."

"What about the girl after your match? You looked at me and smirked, as if you wanted to hurt me," she croaked, getting off the bed and to pace around. "And Jana? The only friend I have? And that voicemail you left me when you were drunk and you said you loved me?"

The voicemail came as a shock to him; he had no recollection of it whatsoever. He stood up and walked over to her. "I hate to admit it, but it had something to do with jealousy," he said, his voice cracking a bit. "You're with him and I just want you to myself. That's what Jana was for. Why do you think I'm not down there with her? She didn't even wear panties tonight, yet I'm up here trying to, at the very least, gain some of your trust again."

She had no idea if she could go that. Her trust for him flew out of the window the day her mother kicked him out of the house, and he didn't do much to help after that. She still felt like he only said certain things to have sex with him again, but she didn't have a way to prove it. "The girl after your match," she simply stated.

"Lily's dad pays for her apartment, so of course it's not a shitty apartment like I'm used to. I knew her before, so I called her up the day your mom kicked me out so I'd have a place to stay. And like I said, I whored myself out for a place to stay. The smirking and was for the same reason as Jana." She was going to speak again, but he held up his finger to cut her off, already knowing what she was going to say. "I don't remember the voicemail, so I can't say much about that—"

"I had sex with Danny," she blurted out. His brows furrowed, then her rubbed his hands over his face. "It was on my birthday," she explained. "And he said he loved me."

"I know, Amber. He bragged to me the next day," he said with a sigh. "I can't believe you fell for it. I still can't wrap my head around it, y'know? I just…" he trailed off his hands on his hips as he looked at the roof. "I really lost you, didn't I?"

She sighed and shook her head. "I did because I wanted to get over you. I didn't want to have any ties to you at all; I just wanted to not… have feelings for you." She was going to admit that she loved him, but it wouldn't have made a difference; he still wouldn't love her.

"And how effective was that?" he asked, looking her straight in the eyes.

"It didn't work," she admitted. She sighed, going back to the bed. "In fact, I felt like it was a mistake after it was over. But I don't want to feel this way about you, because I know you don't feel the same way," she croaked as she wiped away her tears.

"But I do. I like you, Amber. I just—"

"Not like Jon; I mean love!" she yelled, her heart beginning to race as soon as the words left her mouth.

"Love? You… love me?" he asked, his mouth slightly ajar in shock. "I, uh… are you sure?"

She raised an eyebrow, confused by his response. "What do you mean? Of course I'm fucking sure! Don't you think I want to love you when all you do is hurt me? God, I don't even know why I love you when you keep showing me that you don't give a shit about me or my feelings."

Jon leaned against the wall, his hands in his pockets as she kept wiping away her tears. He didn't know what to do or say to fix it, and he wasn't even sure that she wanted him in the room at all. He walked over to her, but still kept some distance between them. "I do give a shit about you and your feelings. It's just that sometimes I'm—"

"But do you love me?"

He looked away from her, chewing on his thumb. "I… I don't know."

She sighed, getting off the bed. "If you see Danny, tell him I was in too much pain so I went home."