I went to sit down on the bus with a spring in my step, my ticket clasped tightly in my hand. I sat down on an empty row near the back, spreading my arms over the available space. I looked out of the window and played with blinking my eyes one by one, grinning away to myself throughout. At that precise moment, that whole mess at the mall might as well have not happened.

Yalran remained very much present in the back of my mind, scanning my thoughts as I had them and making no attempt to hide that she was doing it. I guessed that she was still nervous about letting me have control around people - there were a handful of other passengers on the bus right now - but there really was no need. Right then, escaping or shouting out were the very last things on my mind. For now, I just wanted to enjoy having my body for as long as I could.

Not for the first time, I wondered to myself what Yalran was thinking about. She'd seemed calm when she'd handed control over to me, and from what little I sensed of her she seemed happy enough now. Her distaste for her own body had surprised me, though, and it only surprised me more as I continued to think about it.

Looking back, I suppose I should have expected such distaste. Had she not always insisted to me that yeerks needed their hosts? Had she not continuously admitted to me, even right at the start of it all, that she hated having to go back to the Pool?

((Hey, Yalran?)) I asked her. ((How did you do that?))

To tell the truth, I'm not sure why I spoke to her just then. I guess I'd gotten so used to our constant chatter that it seemed weird whenever she was silent.

((Huh?)) Yalran replied. ((Do what?)) She dipped into my thoughts for a moment. ((That yeerk image? Oh, that was easy. I just took some of my memories and mixed them up. That's all.))

((Then, you don't need my memories to do that? You can just…))

((Yup. Pretty much,)) my yeerk said, sounding distinctly pleased with herself.

I crossed my arms and leaned back, closing my eyes. ((But…doesn't that mean you could basically show me anything?))

Yalran didn't reply to me then, but I felt her surprise as I said it.

((Because…you can show me my daydreams and stuff, right? And I guess yeerks daydream too?)) I leaned forwards, frowning a little. ((Or, you could just imagine stuff and show it to me. At least, I think you could. I don't see why not.)) I shrugged, and began to toy with a strand of hair. ((So…yeah.))

Yalran remained quiet for a time. She turned my head and looked out the window, watching buildings and cars go by, before gently letting go.

((I never thought of that,)) she said finally.

She sounded ashamed, almost, as though this was something she should have thought of easily. I suppose it really should have been easy for her to think of. We were talking about yeerks here, after all.

I spoke to her slowly and gently. ((I guess they didn't train you to think of that.))

I still remembered what she'd told me about her own education: that of war and "host discipline" and little else. And she was only six years old - six! However much she might deny it, she was surely still just a child.

I felt Yalran go through those thoughts of mine piece by piece. Being her host, there was no thought I could possibly hide from her, and by now I only rarely even tried. A yeerk's power over its host was total, in so many ways.

((No. They didn't,)) Yalran told me. Her voice sounded withdrawn just then, and I wondered if I'd somehow struck a nerve. When she spoke again, though, she sounded far more upbeat. ((We should try that. I mean, with something nice. It'd be fun, right?))

((Um, yeah,)) I replied. ((Sure. Some time,))

Perhaps it would indeed be fun, or perhaps it wouldn't. But I wasn't ready to let her play with my mind like that - not just yet.

Yalran took over my body as the bus approached my stop. She didn't announce it beforehand, but I'd been expecting her to do it and so I wasn't the least bit surprised when she got up and walked me off to my house. She seemed somber but calm, her hold on my movements loose but steady, and I felt her crack a smile through my face as she let herself in through the front door.

'Hi, all!' she made me call out, as she took off my shoes.

'Hey, honey!' I heard Mom call out. 'Did you have a good time?'

Yalran replied that she'd had a wonderful time. She didn't mention the Sharing though.

Dinner, Mom soon told "me", was only half an hour or so away. Yalran used that time to take me upstairs and let me move around in my room. Soon afterwards, I could feel Yalran smile internally as she watched me from within my brain.

(It's getting better,)) she said, as I slowly spun myself around.

((What is?)) I asked.

She had my door pulled to, though she hadn't closed it all the way. We'd heard Ben on one of his games, so there was no chance of him walking in before dinner was called. I'd almost immediately started twirling around, letting my arms fly out at my sides, without any metal bars to cage me in.

((Your control,)) she told me. ((You're moving so easily now! It's really great to see!))

I was starting to feel dizzy from all the spinning, so I stopped that and settled on just swinging my arms back and fourth.

((It's all just working now,)) she went on. ((It's not even taking time to come back anymore. It just comes!))

She sounded proud just then, like a parent watching their child make some wonderful achievement. She sounded almost as happy t be watching this as I was to be doing it. I felt her happiness, and I felt her relief too. She even trying to hide her emotions from me.

I flexed my fingers, did one final twirl, and then let myself fall backwards onto my bed with my arms spread wide. ((Yeah. You're right.)) I smiled to myself throughout.

I sat up soon afterwards, as Yalran continued to probe at my thoughts. She seemed to be doing it more gently than she had on the bus, and I might well have not noticed had I not been specifically expecting it. I guessed she was more at ease with me being in control here, where no-one could directly see me. At some point, I would have to try again to talk her into letting me have control in front of my family.

I wondered to myself how long I should I leave things before I tried that, and then I felt Yalran's sudden spike of fear upon sensing me think that.

I let my shoulders sag. ((Relax, Yalran. I do want it soon, but…what's the problem, anyway?))

Yalran took over my actions, and crossed my arms gently. She rhythmically tapped my fingers over my skin and moved my eyes all around. ((I…don't know, really. It's like…what if they see me? What if they think there's something wrong with you, and what if…)) She creased my forehead. I wasn't sure where she was going with this, and I didn't think she was sure either. ((…I just…I'd feel better if I was in control around them, okay? It feels safer that way.))

She tensed my body a little, as though nervous as to how I'd respond to that, and turned my head to one side. She was numbing me a little, but I didn't think it was intentional.

((Safer?)) I pressed.

((Yeah! Like…because that way, I know exactly what's going to happen, right?))

She said that like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It might well have seemed obvious to her, for all I know.

I went to rub my eyes, and was faintly surprised to find I actually could. ((So, what? You're still worried I'll do something weird, or something?))

((I guess,)) she replied hesitantly.

((You don't know?))

She shook my head silently.

I sighed quietly to myself, staring at my feet. I really wasn't up for an argument right now. ((Well, at least I can move okay.))

((Yeah, you can.)) Her mood suddenly brightened. ((I was actually a bit worried, to be honest. I didn't know what was happening, and it's not like I could just ask anyone.))

I remembered how nonchalant she'd been about it, back when I'd stopped being able to move properly. But from all that I'd seen and heard, it was easy to understand why she'd acted that way.

((Because they might accuse you of sympathy?))

I already knew what her answer would be.

Yalran shrugged my shoulders. (Pretty much.)) She tilted my head to one side for a moment, seemingly deep in thought, but then abruptly handed control back over. ((You know, I like being able to talk to you about stuff. It's way easier than hiding things non-stop.))

I got up at that point and started to walk slow circles around the edge of my room. For all I knew, dinner would get called soon, and I wanted to actually use my body while I still had it.

((Why is "sympathy" even a problem, anyway?)) I asked her. ((I mean, you're still going to infest people. And you still won't let me go down and…)) I went still, and forced myself to take a deep breath. ((It's just…what are you even doing that's wrong?))

I felt my yeerk ready herself to speak to me, but she never actually spoke any words. She opened my mouth, only to close it without making a sound.

'Beth! Ben!' my mom called out in a cheery voice. 'Dinner's ready!'

((Well then,)) Yalran said casually. ((Time to eat.))

She nudged me into the back of my mind, instantly taking over control of my actions. She trooped me down the stairs with Ben right behind me, keeping quiet in my head throughout. I'd have asked her for control, had I thought there was the slightest chance of her granting it. But I knew there was no chance, and so I didn't.

Yalran took me down to the Yeerk Pool the following morning. She didn't offer me control for that particular trip, and since I hardly felt like walking to my own prison, I didn't bother to ask. Really, I just wanted to this to be over as soon as soon as possible. I wanted to get into that Pool complex and then get back out into the sun, away from the screams and wails of caged prisoners.

By the time she actually reached Pool through the usual McDonalds, Yalran wanted little more than to get into the sludge and start feeding. It has been nearly three full days since she'd last been here, and I knew that hunger had long since set in. She eagerly stared at the Pool liquid as she queued on the pier, awaiting her turn.

But despite her hunger, Yalran dawdled when she finally reached the front the the queue. A pair of Hork Bajir guards were plainly waiting for her, but it wasn't until they beckoned her forwards that she actually made a move.

'Status?' one of the guards asked.

'Involuntary,' Yalran replied.

She stepped past the two enormous creatures, and I assumed she was about to kneel down. Instead, she turned back around and straightened my posture, looked the nearest guard right in the eyes.

'This host is non-resistant. Its body is not to be harmed,' she stated briskly. 'That's an order.'

The alien eyed us for a moment, its tail moving slowly side-by-side. Yalran eyed the creature right back, holding my gaze - her gaze - steady all the while.

'Understood,' it said at last.

And with that, Yalran turned away from the creature without so much as a glance. She kept my face passive, but I could feel easily that she was pleased with herself. It took another couple of seconds for me to fully take in what had happened. What with all that had happened the previous afternoon, I'd honestly forgotten about her promise to speak to the guards.

((Hey, Yalran? Thanks,)) I said.

((Oh, it's nothing big,)) Yalran replied.

She got me down onto my stomach and pulled me forwards so that my head was over the sludge, pointedly ignoring the two Hork-Bajir that took up position at my sides.

((Well, see you,)) Yalran said.

((I… yeah,)) I said. ((See you. And thanks!))

I got up quickly, and was faintly relieved to find that my body was still obeying me. The two Hork-Bajir took hold of my arms as soon as I was standing, and marched me off to the cages. They seemed to be going slightly slower than normal, and I had no trouble at all keeping up with them. They also kept their arms straight, being sure to keep their blades well away from me. Yalran's order, it seemed, had sunk in well.

I wondered to myself if Yalran would need to give that order every time from now on, or whether giving it once would be enough. Then I wondered if she even knew that herself.

All around me, the hell of the yeerk pool continued. Children and adults alike gripped the bars of their cages, wailing and screaming as hosted yeerks went past. Some yelled and raged at the yeerks, some begged, while others just screamed for help as though someone up above could possibly hear.

I just looked away, staring at the ground as the guards led me on.

How was Yalran okay with this? How could she even try to argue that any of this was alright? How could she not want to fight this, even at the expense of her fellow yeerks, even at the risk of her own life?

My two guards stopped into front of a cage and opened the door. They let go of my arms, and I walked in without the slightest resistance. I closed my eyes as they shut the cage door behind me, locking it with a soft click.

A man and a woman sat silently at the back holding hands, both of them looking not a day over thirty. Another kid - one who looked roughly my age - was slumped against the bars looking utterly defeated. I made eye contact with each of them, but none of us spoke. I sat against the bars and idly watched yeerks and struggling bodies moving to and fro.

My friends could be down here, soon. Even Mom and Dad and Ben could end up down here, were Yalran given a direct order to that effect. Or, I might be assigned a different yeerk some day, who cared about nothing but their own advancement, who wouldn't wait for that order at all.

I thought of Yalran, then: of that blind little grey-green slug, swimming in sludge and soaking up nutrients, who felt utter contempt for her own body. I was sure she'd be looking forward to being back inside me, to be living some more of my life, even as her hunger was being satiated.

Because she wanted to live a human life - my human life, with my human family and my human friends. She'd outright told me as such.

And yet soon, she'd be infesting those very friends - and maybe someday, my very own family. Because yeerks needed their hosts, or so she said. And because she wasn't willing to put her own life on the line…

…except her life was already on the line, was it not? Because she was a host sympathiser - in the minds of some, the lowest of the low.

I closed my eyes, and gripped the cold metal bars. 'Yalran?' I whispered to myself. 'Do you even know what you want?'