Last time on P & C's…

"So in nothing but our underwear, plus a baggy t-shirt, her glorious urbane hair cushioning between us, I watch, over her shoulder as she opens the little white photo album. It's embossed with gold trim, an imprinted gold cross on the cover. She takes deep breath, her back pressing further against my chest as she does, and she opens the front cover. "This was Angelus. Angelus Fiorentino-Cullen. My son."

Chapter 26- Secret happiness

R PoV

Jacob took seeing all of my photos of Angelus better that I thought he would. They're not the typical photos in a typical baby brag book; no happy ending, no, 'Oh look how he's grown', in fact, he really wasn't that cute or anything. He was too early to look like a normal, chubby baby. It's not like I expected Jake to ooh and aah. I know how much it probably freaked him out. I don't know what I expected…but… I didn't expect him to be so supportive, so attentive; like he genuinely cared. Every question, he brought back to me, and how I could use my own insight to help start to move forward. Every query was considered and thoughtful… loving. I didn't expect that from Jake. Luca tried in the weeks afterwards, but he and I didn't have that type of relationship— One where we talked a lot, that is.

What I really didn't expect though, was to be so freed after showing Jacob the album. Somehow, on Saturday night, my healing process had a miracle balm smeared over my damaged heart. Jake is my unguent; Natural and organic, healing and restorative. All because he cares. He cares about me.

It's really so amazing that he's happy to just talk so much of the time we're together. There I was sitting in just my panties and shirt, him in just his boxers and all we did for the rest of Saturday afternoon was look at my photos of Angelus and talk. Well... our mouths did a little more communicating up close later on. He looks so amazing in just boxers. A-ma-zing. But we still did a fair bit of talking too.

I did most of the talking I guess, and he just listened. He's a great listener. He brings out the chatter-box in me. I just divulge all of my secrets and feelings to him without a second thought.

I think that I tell him more than I tell Nahuel. That's what Uel thinks anyway. We skyped Sunday night after I came back from La Push. And now my friend all up to speed with the Jake and me thing. Uel wants to give Jake a friend request. I'm not too sure I'm ready to have Jake be bombarded by my old friend's passive aggressiveness. I told him not to, I think he'll send the request anyway. When has Nahuel Remoras ever listened to his little Nessie?

Jacob listens to me though. He asked me around to his place for Sunday lunch yesterday and I got to meet his dad, finally. Billy is quite the charmer. I think I got straight into his good books with the diabetic cheesecake I made. As mom always says, 'The way to a man's heart is through his stomach… or his dick'. Okay, mom didn't tell me that second one. I figured that out all by myself. But she did tell me the first bit.

Speaking of dicks. Oh man. We totally went to third base after lunch yesterday. He keeps on reminding me that I just need to make more happy memories, so that the sad ones are harder to find. With Jake's help, the 'happy memory bank' is getting fuller by the day.

I can't believe this magnificent specimen of a man is all mine. We're keeping it a secret still. Which, for the record, sucks. But I get why he's so insistent. I know, first hand, how girls you thought were your friends can change into first class bitches. Not that even have any female friends here in Forks yet anyway. But still, I think there would be no problem in us going public on this. It's not as scandalous as getting pregnant at sixteen was. But both Jake and Seth seem to think it's an okay idea to stay hush-hush for a few weeks. They know this school better than I do. The Americans do things a little differently than those in Europe. Or maybe that's just the international schools.

We kids are all so itinerant at those places. Very few students stay at the same school for more than two years. We all get used to friendships coming and going. The same goes for our relationships too.

But it seems I have a few constants in my life now: The memory of my angel, the one that hangs from my neck; and Jacob. The two boys who are closest to my heart. They aren't in competition with each other though, they are simply counterparts to my inner most emotions. One fills me up with love and happiness, and helps assuage the empty hollow the other ones goodbye left in my soul. Jacobs's infectious joy keeps helping me to live my life and being present in it; it stops me form being swept away by my grief.

With Jake I can find the old me, the one who wants to live life to its fullest; the girl who wants to take all the wonders the world throws at me and find the good in it all. Just like the words to that country song; I want to like life like I was dying. And, for a short while at least, I want Jacob to live it with me.

I don't know why I've been this lucky, but with Jake, my glass is more than half full— It's practically overflowing; and letting go of my sorrows is getting easier and easier, day by day—all because of Jacob.

I want to shout this out to the world, let all the kids of this little school know the effect the man has on me. But we're playing the high school game. So, for Seth's and apparently my reputation, it's a secret. We have a secret love. I guess that is a little romantic… and vastly thrilling to think we're going to sneak around like the teenagers that we are.

Teenager…. That was a promise I made to myself, and to mom and dad, when I proposed that I come to the States to live with Uncle Carlisle for a fresh start. I want to be a teenager this year. Sometimes I think I had to grow up too quickly; moving countries every other year; being exposed, indirectly, to the atrocities and cataclysms that my parents work so hard to redress and aid; and of course…

…Last year.

But it's a new school year and a new school, I'm in a new country, and I've made new friends. I have one year of childhood left. One more year to be a kid, a teenager; a love sick adolescent. And I get to do it with Jake.

I get little flutter in my chest at just the thought of him. I know he's gorgeous… that tall dark and handsome all the girls like. But he's beautiful inside too. Excruciating beautiful inside. I'm falling in love. I know this to be true. And I want him to fall in love with me too, eventually— when he's ready.

I want to share everything with Jake; every secret, every hope and every dream we imagine.

I want to hold his hand in the hallways. Be totally cliché and have him carry my books between classes. Slow dance with him at prom. Make out after school, before school… hell, make out with him whenever our teenage hormones demand it.

Oh god, his lips are perfect. Soft yet forceful, full but still so very, very manly.

Swoon.

But I still have to endure the two weeks of secrecy. Try and hide the look of bliss in my eye for fourteen whole days. 336 hours. 20160 minutes. I haven't bothered to find out how many seconds, because well, that just silly. But it's still nine more frustrating school days until Jake and I go public.

And when we do, from the way some of the other girls were talking after gym class this morning, I think I may have a few dirty looks sent my way. Quite a few of the girls would be happy to have Jake give them a third of the attention he gave me yesterday. Too bad, I say.

He's mine.

But I'm not allowed to tell anyone that yet, so I just stood in the corner stall and got changed while all of the cheer girls rated the guy's chests. Jake won. Deservedly. But no one realized just how much my vote would have weighed. The other girls were just going off the occasional glimpse across a football field, but my vote would have been based on actual experience. My hands and lips having had explored every square inch of that first class chest. Not that they asked me. I'm just the new girl. With a secret boyfriend. My secret hot, hot, hot boyfriend. Who also just so happens to be my legitimate lab partner.

So here we are, in biology. There isn't a prac lab today, it's just a normal lecture. But I still get to sit next to Jacob. Our knees are touching under the bench. His arm brushes mine when he thinks no one is watching. Just this little rush of skin has my heart racing and my throat tight. God I want to jump his bones today. He has on these ratty pair of jeans. They fit over his butt so good. And that Forks High athletic t-shirt. Oh god. I can't explain it. His shoulders are so wide they barely fit into the shirt and those arms are almost the same size as my thigh. I know this for a fact, because less than twenty-four hours ago, his arms were wrapped around my legs as he pulled my crouch closer to his face. Okay his arms aren't that big. But they are pretty big. I like them.

I like his arms a lot.

"What are we gunna do after school?" he asks me between writing Mrs. Fullers myriad of notes. I sneak a glance sideways at him. I can feel the blush heat my cheeks at the thought of just what I wanna do. It includes running my tongue along the curves of his bulky muscle and other 'bulky' parts of him too. I'm sure he's thinking almost the same things, because he shifts a little uncomfortably in his seat and we both snicker together at our private and duplicate lustful thoughts.

I like this part of keeping things on the down-low though. We have a private secret that no one else knows. It makes the furtive glances all that more rousing.

"I like that dress by the way," he whispers, as he pretends to drop his pen and leans between us.

It's just on old Topshop dress. Last season's. I got it in London when I went to visit Nahuel last summer. Before I got pregnant. It was a bit big then, it fits me better now. It's army green with yellow flowers on it. It's mid-arm, mid-thigh and pretty high up the front. The back however, has a window. Quite a large window. From the small of my back, right up to the top of my shoulder blades. It's basically backless. Twelve years of ballet, four of them at an elite level gets you one good-looking back.

I may have decided on this particular dress today to specifically drive him crazy.

"I like that t-shirt," I say back. My voice deep and sultry. I see the color deepen on his perfectly tanned face. God he's beautiful. He laughs quietly, his perfect white teeth shining in the florescent light of the classroom as he turns to face the front, pretending he's ignoring me. His smile is giving him away. My staring is probably giving me away too.

The bell goes for lunch break and I get up and exit the classroom without a second glance back at him. I don't need to look to know he's only a step behind me though. I can feel him. My aura can feel his.

"Follow me," he whispers as he brushes past, knocking my shoulder as he does. It probably looked rough to the other kids in the hall, but all I feel is his body heat mixing with mine. What a good little actor this boy is. There's no boy about him though. He is 100% m.a.n.

So I follow him as he leads us down towards to gymnasium. A good twenty feet behind, trying to keep a prudent following distance until we stop outside the boys locker rooms. Really? The locker room again?

"I don't know Jake," I say, giving him my best skeptical look as I come to stand next to him. My arm winding around his bicep and melting into his side. I've been wanting to do that I'll morning. But this hall doesn't seem private enough, it's lunchtime, anyone could come in here at any time.

"We're just cutting through. It's the quickest way to the field," he explains, stepping away and holding the door open for me. So I follow him. He laces his fingers through mine as we walk side by side, through the dank smelly boys locker rooms and back out the external door. I love holding his hand. My little fingers fit so easily between his. We fit together. His thumb curls around and tickles the inside of my palm as we walk. I think he likes holding my hand just as much too.

So, hand in hand we walk out over the field, to the back of the away team shed. And there we stop. Me, pressed up against the sun warmed corrugated steel, as Jacob presses his whole body against mine. We spend a good fifteen minutes making out. Thrusting denim covered hard-ons into damp panty covered va-ja-jays.

We pull away after a while, panting and happy breathing each other's air. "What are we gunna do now?" he asks me, moving from in front of me to reclining on the shed wall next to me. Our shoulders touching as our arms press along their lengths. His hand finding mine once again.

"What do you mean?" I ask. Does he mean right now and go for more than second base on the side line of the school field? I think I'm pretty liberal. I know I am. But I'm not into public nudity. Not in daylight hours and not on the school grounds where some random freshmen might come up and I accidentally flash them my tits.

"I mean now… when we go back to the cafeteria. You wanna sit with me?" he asks. I keep forgetting; as much as he's a typical boy… large hands all over decent sized boobs and more than decent erections pressing into little waists. Jake actually wants to just hang out with me sometimes. It's not just about the kissing and the heavy petting. That was Luca. Jake is my friend and my boyfriend.

He's a keeper.

He's scanning out over the grass, trying to make his question as off hand as he can. But I know he's been bothered by me sitting with Seth these last few weeks. If I'd known all that I do now, I would have stayed sitting with Jake that first day. After we cut our hair. But after Seth confided in me with all his secrets, I couldn't let the guy think I was abandoning him as a friend. Little did I know that me opting to support a new friend would give the whole school the impression we were dating, including Jake. And that Jake would then think I wasn't interested in him. What a mess we've made of something that could have been so simple.

Our mission now, is to not only imply to the whole school that a straight Seth and me are broken up, I'm still a little pissed at him for using me as an unwilling beard by the way, but also to not make it look like Jake and I have just been making out for the last fifteen minutes. Because that's just what we've been doing.

"I want to…" I say, leaning my head on his arm. He so much taller than me. I feel so protected standing next to him.

"But it's gunna look pretty obvious about the two of us hey?" he says, answering his own question.

"Yeah. But, I think I'm gunna take this opportunity to get to know some of the senior girls a bit better. I haven't had much of a chance before now," I say, pressing my lips to the bulk of his arm. But I'll also have to listen in on them talk about my boyfriend like he's a piece of meat without being able to tell them to back the fuck off. That's gunna be hard. "Maybe I'll sit at Lizzie's table. She seems nice." Or maybe she's like my so called 'friend' Raquel in Rome, who turned out to be nothing more than gossip mongering, back stabbing bitch.

"Yeah, she's okay," he shrugs, non-committedly. I wonder absently if they've been a thing in the past. She sure flirts with him a lot. Skankahoe. He never talks about any of his exes though. Not even Bella. I wish he would. He knows all about me and Luca, and Nahuel, and the other few guys I briefly dated in Geneva and in Rome. I wonder if he and Bella ever came back here, behind the away shed to make out. The question is out of my mouth before I have a chance to rein it in.

"Did you and Bella use to come here to make out?" I ask. Mentally face-palming for being quite so candid.

"What?" he asks, lifting up off the tin and standing to my side.

"You and Bella. Did you…"

"I know what you said. Why the hell would you want to know that?" he asks, perplexed but still with a hint of that gorgeous smile on his lips.

I shrug, I don't really know the answer to it; Jealousy? Maybe; Morbid curiosity? A little; Desperately wanting to know if he still loves her? Yes… a lot.

"I don't know," I mumble, shrugging for a second time. "You just never talk about her. And you brought me here like you've brought a girl or girls here a few times before." I flick a glimpse at him, keeping my eyes down at my cute yellow flats with the green polka dots.

"Ness. Are you worried that I'm still hung up on Bells?" he asks, as if it's the first time it's occurred to him that I might just be exactly that. Worried. He call's her 'Bells' for crying out loud, of course I'm worried.

"A little," I say. I don't want to be the jealous girlfriend type. But that little green monster is so insidious. I try to not let it fester. "Just be honest Jacob. I have been more that honest with you. I think I deserve the same."

"You're right baby. You do. I just… I just thought you didn't want to hear about it. I'm doing my best to not let it drag me down and I didn't want you pulled in too."

"Jake, if you're feeling something, then I'm feeling it too. We're tied together now. What you feel, I feel, so we may as well be honest with each other."

He looks at me for a beat. Those dark, espresso brown eyes searching mine. He plays with those kissable lips, gnawing between his teeth for a few seconds, before leaning in and kissing me. "You're so amazing," he says against my lips. I think he is too. I almost forget what I've asked for a moment until he pulls back and points over to the bleachers.

"Over there behind the far right stand. We had a quickie underneath the stands after a game one night. But here," he says pointing to the grass we're standing on. "I've only ever kissed one girl here, Ness. You."

Oh.

They did do it out here, just not on this very spot. I'm not sure if this answer is a good or a bad thing. It is an honest thing, at least.

His eyes are sincere and open as he looks at me, watching for my response. I don't know what he going to see, I'm not sure how I'm going to respond either. But what I do know, is that I don't doubt his honesty. And that he still hasn't answered my question about Bella. "So you're not just re-living a good time with her?" I ask. And that's how I feel about his honestly... still a fair bit uncertain about his true feelings for his ex.

A flash of epiphany flicks across his face. I think he just figured out that I'm frightened that I'll be nothing more to him than he was to her. Emotional fodder. I don't want to be just his rebound girl. I'm falling for him and I don't think I could take any more heartbreak this year.

"What? Christ no!" He almost looks repulsed by the idea. I kind of hope he is. "Ness, I am so over Bella. She'll always be my friend. Maybe not even that, it needs so much work still. A guy can't have his heart stomped on that many times and that hard, and still have feelings for a girl. She fucking well pounded on it, Ness. If she came at me with that sexy lingerie shit right now, I'd tell her to go fuck herself, or better yet, go fuck the Ed," he says flippantly out over the playing field.

I don't really like thinking about him having had seen Bella in sexy lingerie. But I guess, I've been pretty upfront about all my stuff. God— Nahuel even wants to be his Facebook friend. Which I found out he did send last night, by the way. And Jake said he's accepted it. He's such a great guy. I can't really complain that some ex he never sees, once dressed in sexy lace for him. We both have our emotional baggage... doesn't stop me from wanting to claw Bella's eyes out at just the thought anyway.

Jacob then pauses and turns towards me, crouching halfway down so that we're at about the same height. It must hurt his legs to be in that half crouch for very long. "Oh god. Please don't think that I'm thinking of her when we're together Ness. Oh god. That's so not the case. You believe me right? It's you I can't get out of my mind." He's pleading at the realization that his silence over Bella for all this time might have had me worried.

I'm quite a bit less worried now.

In fact I'm willing to skip fifth period to try and see just how much of each other's minds we can get in to.

There's something about Jake that makes me trust him implicitly. Instantly. It's been like that from the very start. I think we must be kindred spirits or something because I just know he isn't lying; and I just know he reciprocates the feelings I have for him. It's my brain that clouds things with doubt and unnecessary jealousy. I have to remember to listen to my gut more often. It's normally right. It was this time.

I smile at him. My hand lifting up to comb through his short hair. It's such a crime that he cut it over that cow. "You're all I can think about too," I murmur, stepping into his personal space and then just a bit more. The tops of my legs are pressed against his, his hips are hard into my stomach and my hands wind around the small of his back. I rub my tummy against his emerging boner and look up at him. Hopefully my eyes are batting. I don't really know how to seduce a guy, but it can't be that hard.

But I'm obviously shit at it. Because Jacob just gives me a pelvic thrust in return and then stands up straight.

He takes me by the hand and leads me back across the field. Towards the cafeteria. "So we're good? You know I'm crazy about you?"

I nod as I do a little skip step to catch up to his giant ones. I'm gunna have to teach him to walk at a short leg pace. I'm not gunna be running all my life just to keep up with him. Wait… did I just imagine the rest of my life with Jake? One with a family and kids? Oh shit. I did. But he said he's crazy about me. And I'm crazy about him too. Though I'm gunna keep that little revelation to myself for a little while longer. Like, until we've been dating for more than four days and until we can be together openly. And maybe until he tells me first.

"Slow down, will you!" I laugh, skipping again to catch-up. "My tiny legs can't keep up with you."

"Oh, teeny tiny Nessie can't walk as fast as big, giant, Jake," the big lump goads over his shoulder. Smart ass. Perfect butt that looks amazing in those jeans, Smart ass.

"Shut it, hulk, now you have to carry me," I say, taking a running leap and attaching myself to his marvellous back.

"Hey!" he calls, grabbing a hold of my legs as I hold on around his shoulders.

"You like how small I am," I whisper in his ear. "Don't you?" I kiss the side of his neck as he walks us into the stinky locker room out of the light of the mid-day sun. "You like that my little body fits into yours. The way my hands fall inside of yours. That you can hold me piggy back and be not much more than a backpack." I breathe down the muscle of his neck, my nose and lips brushing lightly against his skin.

He backs us up against one of the benches and I hop down, keeping my arms around him he pivots and is now facing me. "Yes. Yes Renesmee. I love how small you are." His hands land firmly on my hips, his fingertips touching the bare skin of my back. The feeling sends a shiver up my spine, it curls across my stomach and up to my nipples. They're tightening and throbbing and I want his huge hands all over me. "You're a beautiful, fairy woman Ness. I want to pick you up and throw you over my shoulder right now. And you're so light, I don't think I'd even notice," he says. Oh shit. His voice just dropped that octave it does when he's turned on.

I love that I can turn him on with just a few words into his ear. And now I want to do him in the stinky locker room. Maybe I'm not so bad at seduction.

His fingers are tracing up and down my spine. My skin is alight with his caress. I'm taller than him up on this bench and he's looking up at me. My hands grasp his face, fingers in the hair at his neck, thumbs along his strong jaw and I pull him up to me and my lips lower to his. I love this man's lips. They're so soft and conforming but so strong and commanding at the same time. He tastes like cinnamon gum. I love cinnamon. I can feel his tongue against my lips so I part mine and that exceptionally skilled thing feels it way around my mouth. Playing with mine.

But all too soon he pulls back. "We gotta get back baby. You go first," he says standing back and holding my hand as I step off the bench. "I gotta wait a sec for this boner you've given me to go down anyway," he chuckles. I did that to him. With nothing more than a piggyback ride and a minute of kissing. It's such a turn on to know that I turned him on. The 'turning on' cycle going around and around. We do that to each other.

"Okay, I'll see you in Spanish," I say with a quick kiss. I jump off the seat and holding his hand until our arms are out stretched and we're holding nothing but fingertips, I walk backwards.

"Te echo de menos ya, mi hombre guapo," I smile and wink as I let go of his fingers. I feel the loss already. I just have to go, or I never will. I give a quick look left and right in the door way, then scurry out of the hall way and over to the cafeteria.

I have my tray and am approaching Lizzie's table by the time Jake joins the line.

Everyone at the table turns to watch him enter, myself included.

"They are great jeans," Lizzie giggles.

"It's like they're painted on that ass," says a girl I don't know.

There is an empty seat next to her so I take the opportunity to put down my tray and pull the seat out. "Great jeans," I agree, feeling my cheeks heat as the memory of just how much 'greatness' in in those levis. "Is this seat taken?"

"No, you take it," the girl says, the half-eaten apple in her hand bobbing in her fist as she motions to the empty chair. "I'm Kim," she smiles, chewing. Her brown hair is dreaded and long, tied up in a scarf and loosely platted, she also has on an Athletics department track suit, Forks Drill Team in bold writing across her chest. She doesn't look like your typical baton twirler. I expect her to have a pair of hemp fishermen pants on, not Forks High Cheer sweats.

"Ness," I reply, pulling the chair in as it scrapes against the linoleum.

Kim snorts a little as she takes another bite of her apple. "Everyone knows who you are Ness. We don't get too many new kids in this town."

I just press my lips together, nodding. I suppose she's right. At the table are three more girls, Lizzie and the twins, Irina and Tanya Spencer. I meet eyes with each of them, a hello in my smile. I hate making new friends. It's easy when they just fall in your lap. Like it did with Jake. But it can be hard work when you have to really try and wiggle your way into a group. I feel like a wiggly worm right now.

"So, you and Seth Clearwater, hey?" Lizzie asks me, her eyes critically running over the dress I'm wearing. Seeming to assess the acceptability of my clothes, and probably the value of my bag and I'm assuming finding it all with in her acceptation. The surname probably helps too. But I'm still waiting for the punch line. Queen bees aren't normally this nice. I don't really care if she approves of me or not. It would be nice. But it's not vital to my existence. I already have friends in this school. Friends I want to protect.

I nod at the blond, here is my test; Can I bend the truth without actually lying? "Yeah, we're kind of doing our own thing for a while," I say shrugging and looking over my shoulder to Seth's table. He's sitting with his friends, some of the sophomore girls are over there too. Our eyes meet and he smiles at me, a knowing look is shared between us. Seth's eyes flick over to Jake's and I see him watching us too, watching me. I give him a hidden wink. The shared secret running between the three of us. We're all playing our parts.

"I thought I might hang out with the seniors for once," I smile, turning back to the girls I've chosen sit with. I'm not above poorly veiled flattery to get me in either. "You know, sit with the cool group."

"Well, welcome to the big kids table," Lizzie says to me. Picking up her water bottle and sipping. I think that was my in. Easier than I expected.

We sit and eat lunch, mildly chatting between us. Mostly about ways to get guys to like them, and when I say guys, I mean Jake. They all want him. But they can't have him… because he's mine.

Just before the bell rings, Jarred and Paul come over to say hi. Paul is such a man whore, he gives me his best sexy smile, complementing me in the dress and sitting on the table right in front of me, his sweat pant cover dick a little too close to my face. I give him a half-hearted thanks, leaning back and away from the weapon of mass destruction and throw my best 'not a chance' look back. I give Jake a quick look and I can see he's going his best to not come over and claim me and then knock Paul's lights out. Thankfully, for his own safety, Paul doesn't persevere with the chat up for long and his attention is shifted to Tanya. She's more like his slutty type anyhow.

Jarred is talking to Kim about a group project they're doing together. It's so obvious to me that she has the hots for him. He seems totally oblivious. Stupid boys and there oblivious ways.

"Hey Ness," comes a voice behind me just as the bell goes. It's Seth.

"Oh, Hi Seth," I say, acutely aware of all the eyes at our table now watching me, and a good few more around the room too.

"How was Friday night after you dropped me off?" he asks. He wants to know how it went with Jake. I'm dying to spill all the gross details to him. But I gotta play it cool. We've just broken up as far as they're all concerned.

"Yeah, ok," I mumble, trying to look like I'm sad because that was just after our 'break up'. What I really want to say to him is 'OMG, Seth, it was the best night ever, and me and Jake made out by the beach and then got totally soaked in the rain and then made out in my car and then got out of our wet clothes and made out some more and sprinted to second base in his room'. But I can't because we've got to pretend like we've just broke up.

I change my posture, a coolness forced across my face, my shoulder turning away from him. "I was busy enough without you," I bite, "no need to concern yourself with what I do anymore Seth." I sound hurt and bitter. He steps back, fooled momentarily buy my hostility. I flash him a look that I hope he reads as all part of the façade. And he nods silently. He knows I'm putting on the amateur dramatics for him. As a queen, he should be proud of my drama queen capabilities.

"Whatever Ness, I was just asking. Don't have to be a bitch about it," he snaps back. It's only play-acting but I don't like to give 'hate' power, even if it is bogus hate. I'm gunna have to fix this bad karma later.

Seth walks off in a feigned pout. Hopefully convincing every one of the coolness that is now between us. Paul is sniggering, so I guess he's convinced at least. Asshole.

At Seth's exit we all get up to head to our next classes. I have AP Spanish. And so does Jacob.

Just thinking of sitting next to Jake in class has by stomach aflutter. I break off with my new 'friends' who head in the opposite direction.

I am only a few feet from my locker when I'm stopped in the hall by Gwen, my teaching associate and supervisor on Saturday morning ballet classes. She is technically the supervisor but I am the only one who can actively dance out of both of us. She's good at telling the kids the steps and position, and then I show them what it should look like. I end up being the teacher nine times out of ten. And not that I'd ever say it to her— but even though she is technically the supervisor and I'm the assistant, when looking at us technicality… I am the superior. Two years at Le jeune Ballet in Geneva and then another two in the pre-professional classes at Rome's centre of Dance gets your technique pretty squared away. I might not be on the professional fast track any longer, but that training is still ingrained. Here at school though, she is the superior and I have to call her Miss Baker, because she's an art teacher and I am a student … and having danced in an international amateur company doesn't mean jack.

"Renesmee," she calls, jogging up to me, her voice is sweet and British Columbian. "I was hoping to find you. I need a huge favour." Her eyes are large and blue and they stand out on her pale skin with the dark kohl pencil she uses.

"What kind of favour?"

"I need you to join the drill team."

"The what?" Oh god, she wants me to be in the marching band. Or something. I can't twirl a baton for shit.

"The drill team, the dance team."

"What, wait. You have a dance team? Why didn't I know about this?" I can dance for my gym credit? And I've been struggling to think of which club I'd like to be in. It's been a toss-up between yearbook or the drama club, but yearbook it a very tight knit group and drama won't start until after football season is over. And now Gwen, I mean, Miss Baker is handing me one. Score.

"Most of the teams were decided last year. But one of my seniors, Kate, do you know her?" I nod, I've seen the gorgeous tall blond around the halls. "She's gone and gotten sick, really sick and I need a strong leading dancer to fill in for her."

Reading between the lines I wonder just what she means by 'sick'. I'm sure I'll find out sooner or later with the rumor mill. Nevertheless, I won't be a contributing factor to the wind in its sails.

"Leading dancer?" I ask, I see this as both a good and a bad thing. It's great that I can dance in a troupe again. It probably isn't classical but it is structured and hopefully graceful, and the artistic release I've been craving for months. It's been nearly a year since I got kicked out of my Italian dance school and I haven't done any sort of arranged dance since then. I miss it so much. The down side, however, is I think I'm going to have to tread on someone's toes to fill the gap Miss Baker wants me to fill. There will be girls who have been on this team for years and they're not going to like me taking any kinds of leadership role. I'm going to have to earn their respect. I give myself a mental boost, pushing down the worry that creeps in at the memories of dance school politics. This isn't Rome, they won't expect perfection like Maîtresse Gautier. I can still have a life outside of dance. I can still eat. I can still have balance. I can have my fresh start and still be able to dance. I can prove myself. I'll even audition if the other dancers want me to. That's all right, I know my skill, I'll show them what I can do. I'm excited. I want to go and rehearse already.

"So will you help me out? They practice Monday through Thursday after classes. And you have to perform at home games and most away games too." That's fine by me too. I get to have an excuse to see Jake more than just in class. He has no idea how flexible I can be. I'm looking forward to showing him in this new position I've got.

I smile at the teacher, "Sure, I'm in. Do we have practice today?"

"At 3:30,"

"Ok. I guess I'll be in the gym at 3:30."

"Oh, Ness. Thankyou. Thanks so much. You're gunna love it. I know you will. And these girls are nothing like cheerleaders. They all get along. No snarkiness, you know?"

"Well that's good. I guess." I step back a few paces, hedging over to my locker. Gwen's lovely but she loves to chat a little too much and I don't have the time today. "Okay, I have to get to class. I'll see you this afternoon." I think I might have time to race home after school and get some appropriate clothes for rehearsal. I wonder if I should take my pointe shoes?

"Yes. That's good. I'll see you this afternoon."

"No worries. I'm looking forward to it." I smile and walk off slowly.

"Oh Ness," she calls and I turn back around "Hate to be the fashion police, but that dress is kind of a bit revealing. There are school policies about showing skin, maybe you should put a jacket over the back or something." She looks apologetic. I'm sure the cheerleader's uniform is just as revealing. But it's not Miss Bakers fault, she's just doing her job, I get it. But Seriously? How embarrassing. It's not like I have my tits out. I have to get my head around all the different rules over here.

"Oh. Okay. I didn't realize. I'll cover up."

She nods, sufficiently placated and we both move off. I stop off at my locker to swap some books and grab that all important jacket before getting ready to walk over to building 3.

I am looking forward to practice this afternoon though. I don't know the first thing about a drill team. Sounds a bit regimented, but I'm excited to have a hobby brought to life again. As Jake would say, create more happy memories for the bank.

Life. Death. Angelus.

And that's now only the second time I've thought about my angel today. Easier and easier, day by day.

I am miles away, dreaming about what I'm gunna wear to rehearsal. I am going to put in my pointe shoes, in case I need to give a demo. Show'em what I got. I'm thinking all these things while adding my calculus text to my bag when I feel the heat engulf me. I can sense he is right behind me, his energy fortifies me. He stands with most of his body pressed into my back. Our bodies align, just for a split second before he keeps rolling past and leans his back against the locker next to mine. His perfect shoulders so broad that they easily encroach the locker further along too.

"So you're in with the girls now hey?" he asks, smirking.

He knows he had the attention of most girls when he walked into the room. I wonder if he knows how much it kills me to not be able to claim him when they look at him though.

"And some of the boys too, apparently," I add.

Judging the dark look across his face, I'm guessing he does. "Not funny Ness. Don't fucking give Lahote an inch, because if you do, he'll try to stick all six inches up. Fucking player," he mumbles under his breath.

"Oh baby," I croon. A soft graze of fingertips down his strong arms. "Don't worry. He's not my type. I like my men with a little more brains than that flemwad." My hand finding his, be dammed the public hallway. "I think it's the girls who I have to be worried about sticking me, like, with a six inch knife when they find out I've taken you right under their noises."

A junior girl walks past us, her eyes covertly watching Jake, but I see her, I see them all watching him. He's very easy to watch. Lucky for me though, that I'm the only one he looks back at.

Our hands drop apart before the junior can see us. A little thrill of almost being caught, fluttering through my chest.

"Turns out, have some pretty significant common interests with most of the cheer squad," I say, trying to steer the topic back to safer ground. My eyes must be sparking as I smile up at him, I can't be around Jake and not feel like I'm going to spontaneously combust with happiness. "Namely you," I say, tapping him on the chest. "They all think you're pretty much the most beautiful guy they know." I throw my arms in to my rain jacket, I have to cover up this dress but also, I can hear the rain on the rooftop. Forks weather is so fickle, from between when Jake and I were out on the field kissing in the sunshine at the beginning of lunch, to now, trying to catch a moment of privacy in a busy school hall, it's started pouring.

Jake doesn't comment on the knowledge that me and the other girls were talking about him earlier. I think he's used to girls telling him how good he looks anyway. "They all think you look good in those jeans today." I say, a little smug as I try to make him blush. It doesn't work he just gets this self-satisfied grin creeping across his face. "Lizzie thinks you have the hottest body in school. I think she wants to totally jump your bones," I say still trying to get a rise— with nil effect.

He knows what I'm trying to do, it's called flirting by teasing, and he isn't biting. I give up on the teasing angel, I'm crap at it. I know I am. He is the master of making me blush. I got nothing on his ability to sexy taunt. Nothing I guess, but the ability to give him a boner with nothing but the sexually ambiguous things I say. That I know I'm good at that. He's told me as much.

"But they have no clue how much better the inside part of you is Jake. I know it though. You do too, don't you?" I whisper in his ear. "You know what it's like to be inside someone… and like the pleasant things you find," I say, hopeful in my effort to secretly excite him, as I turn the combination shut on my locker and push off.

We walk to the exit of the building, side by side, Jake just a half step behind me. I know he's checking out my ass. Probably trying to quietly fix his fresh hard on in his pants too. That's okay by me. I cast a little more swing in my hips as I hazard a glance over my shoulder at him, and to just how well he's now filling out the front of his jeans. I can't even begin to hide the smirk I have twitching at my lips at that thought. He's hard, I did that to him. With just a whisper in his ear. It's a gratifying feeling.

We have to walk between buildings to get to our Spanish classroom and inevitably, we're gunna get wet. We pause before going out into the rain and I pointedly look at the bulge in the front of his pants, the swell that he's making no effort to hide. "You want to carry my books?" I smile, my lashes batting and my cheeks hurting from the grin, "that way you can keep your happy problem to yourself," I giggle as he pokes me in the ribs in rebuttal.

"Tease," he smiles. Then he does the last thing I expect, he lifts his back pack over his head, his growing need behind the fly, out on display for all to see. If there was anyone but me here to see it that is. Dammit, the quad is empty. He's not showing any embarrassment, the Adonis is proud of what he has going on down in front. I'm thoroughly distracted to what's going on around me now too. It's raining and cold but that hot body next to me still only has a t-shirt on. I hope it gets wet on our way across. Jacob and a wet, white t-shirt would be a very special combination.

"You know I'd be carrying your books right now if we were public…" he says, smiling that perfect smile down at me, his arms still above his head, holding his bag up, "…even if I didn't have a boner just from looking at you fully clothed." That little dimple he gets when he's really happy with himself is pulling at his right cheek. He looks at me and winks, the slightest nudge of his hips in my direction. His muscles bunch, and the bottom of his shirt rides up as he covers his head to the rain. Oh god… I stuff my hands in my pockets to stop myself from running them all over his washboard abs and chest. How did me teasing him get turned a full 180 around. He is the freaking master.

"I promise you this Ness, that pretty soon I'm gunna carry your books just 'cause I can. And sit with you at lunch and hold your hand as we make a dash through the rain," he says as we step of into the rain. "Just because I can." This is his way of saying he knows. He knows I'm feeling the same things about him as He is for me. Primarily, horny lust. But a fair bit of romance contained in there too. He wants to claim me from the rest of the school, including the likes Paul Lahote, as badly as I want to do to the same to him. I want everyone, including the cheer girls and the likes of Lizzie Martin, that his ass in those jeans are mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.

"Well it's almost day One down. Then we only have thirteen to go." I say, stepping sideways over a puddle.

One of his hands comes down to guide me as we trot more or less side by side. I can feel the warmth of his hand through my jacket. It might be just my imagination, but I swear I can feel his warmth. It pulses out of him like sunlight. "Will you go to the home coming dance with me? It'll be the perfect way to go out in the open," he asks out of the blue.

"Did you just ask me to the dance?" I ask as we finish crossing the courtyard. I've never been to a homecoming dance. He's right, it would be good way to go public. Plus, I can't think of a better way to spend a night, than wrapped around Jacob Black swaying back and forth. Oh and I just realized that it's in two weeks' time, my new pill prescription will be working by then. Oh yeah! I feel a little twinge of excitement in my chest at the thought of first time sex after homecoming dance with the QB1 and my, finally, publicly disclosed boyfriend. More teenage cliché milestones? Don't care. I couldn't give a flying fuck if it's clichéd or not. It will be epic, and amazing, and all that I care about.

"Yes," he laughs nervously, falling in behind me, his palm warm still as it presses in the middle of my back, He guides me up the steps and into the hallway of building three. "I am. And you're killing me here, not giving me an answer."

His large braced hand sluices the few stray water droplets off his face and I pull my hood back. We walk a few steps along the now empty hall before he corners me. I'm pressed against the door of an electrical closet, his body over shadowing mine as a ripple of expectation flows through me. One hand is pulling gently on the bottom of my jacket and the other lingering over the top of the long zipper, his hands hovering over my bust line. I press my chest outwards as his fingers pull on the zip; down and over the swell of my boobs, the back of his hand brushing down my chest as he goes. Each little ripple of the plastic tangs vibrating through us both. The air is charged with sexual tension. Oh yeah. If this is what it's like when we're a secret then I can't wait until we're public.

I look up, our faces only inches apart. I want to kiss his lips, right here in the hallway outside Mrs. Ramirez's classroom in building three. But we can't. A little whine escapes my lips and I lower down from the tip toes I hadn't even realized I'd been raised up on. "Well will you? Will you be my homecoming date?" he asks again. His face lowered down to mine. His body leaning over me. His injured hand is pressed above me, pressing into the door behind, the other curling around the lower edge of my open jacket, pulling on the material of my dress.

I smile, secretly taking his hand in mine, letting our fingers interlace together. That familiar yet thrilling kick of electricity arcs across us as we touch. "Nothing would make me happier."

Translation for when Ness leaves the locker room and say she'll see him in Spanish...

[Te echo de menos ya, mi hombre guapo - I miss you already, my handsome man.]

Hope you enjoyed folks. It was a really long chapter. Let me know your thoughts. I love hearing them.

Thanks as always to Aretee for being my beta.

Namestee, Marina