Bella: Jeez, so now the posty is on Carlisle?
Edward: *is scowling* Apparently
Jasper: This is entirely your fault, Ed
Edward: Me? I was kidding about that damn post-it note and Alice went and put it in everyone's heads that it made you crazy!
Jasper: Don't start blaming her again. Who put it in her head, huh?
Edward: ...Not...me *doesn't sound convincing*
Jacob: Sounds like it was you
Edward: *growls* Put a muzzle on it, mutt
Jacob: *rolls eyes* I don't even get what's wrong with a stupid little piece of paper
Edward: Nothing! That's what I've been trying to say this whole time! *sighs* But I guess it's too late now
Jasper and Bella: It truly is
Esme logged on
Esme: Dears, I am hear to warn you...
-everyone glances at each other-
Esme: I would be careful when talking with Carlisle.
Bella: Why?...
Esme: Well-
Carlisle logged on
Esme: ...
-everyone's quiet-
Carlisle: ...
Jacob: ...Hey, doc
Carlisle: Doc. An abbreviation for the word doctor or document. Document. A file extension most commonly used for Microsoft Word. Word. This holiday season give word lovers on your list the gift of language-
Jacob: What are you talking about?
Carlisle: About us. About you. About medical professions. About getting started. About the New World. About the Volturi. Learn about who we are, what we do, and how you can get a job with us-
Jacob: He's lost it
Carlisle: Lost It and over 300,000 other books you can get now! Lost It - Gorilla Zoe ft. Lil Wayne, you can download it. Lost, the finale on ABC. Darn it, I lost it!
Jasper: He sure has...
Esme: *sighs*
Carlisle: *sighs* is an audible exhalation of air arising from tiredness or emotion, usually sadness-
Jacob: On the plus side, he knows more than I thought he did.
Carlisle: Did. Did you take that medicine like I told you? I did not finish with that patient. Did - past tense of do. Do. To do, do nothing, do your best, do it yourself, I'll do it. Do you have elk nearby, perhaps mountain lions? Do what you think is right.
Jacob: Do this: Stop!
Carlisle: Stop! Freeze! Halt! Cease!
Bella: Jake, you're not helping.
Carlisle: Helping. Helping Hands, Inc. is a non-profit organization committed to helping ones in need. Help. Assist. Protect. Save. Save me. You must save my son! Save our souls.
Edward: *scoffs* Soul
Carlisle: Soul - Edward has one.
Edward: o.o *glares suspiciously at his father*
Esme: Silence sounds like
The kids: ???
Carlisle: Silence. Sshh. Silence sound like: .................
-silence-
The kids: *mouth* oh :)
Esme: ^-^'
-nobody says a word-
Rosalie logged on
Emmett logged on
Everyone: *waving at them not to say anything*
Emmett: Don't worry guys, I'm feeling better!
Everyone: *smacks their foreheads*
Carlisle: Feeling better? She looks better. Gets better, I promise. Getting better, getting well. Healing.
Rosalie: O-o
Emmett: What the-?
Carlisle: What the. What the duck? What the font? What the hell - reality gone wrong, again.
Rosalie: You can say that again...
Carlisle: Again. Once more. Another time. Anew. Again lyrics here! Don't do that again. I have to hunt again!
Emmett: I thought he was only attacked by the sticky, not brain-transferring aliens too.
Carlisle: Aliens on the brain? The aliens are constantly listening to my brain. Can Alien Robots exist? Aliens. Extraterrestrials. E.T. Space invaders. The belief that space invaders have arrived-
Jacob: Psh. There's no knowledge of aliens.
Carlisle: If there is no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrials or their vehicles?
Everyone: …
Carlisle: Yeah, so, sink your teeth into that and SUCK IT!
Carlisle logged off
Everyone: O_O
Jacob: Wow, that last part just came out of him like a demon during an exorcism
Emmett: *can't stop from laughing* Ahahaha! Carlisle's been through a lot. He had a lot to share that he's been keeping locked up, huh?
Edward: *sighs* Cullens, our compassionate father has been corrupted. I hope you know what this means.
Rosalie: It means we must stop this madness
Jasper: Once and for all
Edward: Exactly
Emmett: All right, lets do this. *grins* And nothing will get in my way this time. Yes, that means you windows!
Esme: ...I don't think I'm understanding
Bella: Esme, you're lucky you don't understand. Trust me.
-Suddenly, Esme's phone rings-
Esme: ??? *answers* Hello?
Caller: Is your eggo prego?
Everyone: :O
Rosalie: *is now glaring*
Esme: …
*phone goes dead*
Esme: T~T
Esme logged off
Rosalie: That's it! Those filthy pranksters...ugh! Those bastards are going down! Get Alice! We'll torture the information out of her if we have to
Emmett: That's the spirit, Rose
Jasper: *whimpers* Torture?
Bella: Poor Esme...
Edward: Don't worry, Bella, we'll get them back.
Bella: And how long have we been trying to do this? -_-
Emmett: This time we'll do it for sure!
Jacob: Hmmm, this sounds interesting, I think I'll stick around for a while.
Rosalie: Edward, Jasper, track down Alice!
Rosalie logged off
Jasper logged off
Emmett: You heard her, bro. Time to find Shorty... Rose is headed for the Mall, Jasper is off to the woods, I'll get Munchkin Land, you check all our closets.
Emmett logged off
Edward: I'll be back
Bella: Ok
Edward: I actually wasn't talking to you, love. I was warning the dog *glares at Jacob*
Jacob: Ooo, I'm so scared.
Edward: You say it sarcastically to hide how terrified you truly are...I would know
Edward logged off
Jacob: *yells* Whatever, you lying leech!
Bella: Jake, was that really necessary? He can't hear you anymore.
Jacob: Made me feel better
Bella: *shakes head at him*
Jacob: Hey, Bella...look at me
Bella: *looks*What- Jake! What are you doing?! *gasps*
To Be Continued...