Once again this chapter contains graphic sex scenes so as always the section with be separated in bold.

Chapter 25—One Step Closer

December 1, 2013—Allen's Ark

It had been all he could do to keep Lavi from noticing the wilting Lotus Flower. Never before had he lost so much from just one tiny injury. He thanked the invisible deity known to most as "God" that Lavi had been too preoccupied with his own problems the previous night to see it. But Yuu had. The second they'd walked into his room. He had known from the beginning, perhaps from the time that Mugen first appeared to him, that he was going to die in this war. He hadn't known that he wouldn't want to.

Another petal, the second half of the fifth, lay wilted on the bottom of the hourglass, reminding Yuu just how little life he had left. He had three and a half petals left now. Only three and a half. Icy dread froze his system with more intensity than anything ever had. From such a small injury, he'd lost a full petal's value. He didn't want to die, didn't want to leave Lavi. Because somehow that idiot rabbit had become the most important person to him, the reason for his existence, and he had absolutely no illusions about his position in Lavi's heart. It was obvious from the way the rabbit looked at him, gently patted his arm whenever he got twitchy, shuffled just slightly away whenever he thought of bad things, took care of him when he was screaming from the nightmares that still plagued his dreams.

If he died, Lavi would, too, and corny as it sounded, the mere thought of Lavi six feet under made him want to go mope in a corner and grow mushrooms. His lips twitched as he resisted the urge to chuckle. He'd heard that phrase from the Infernal Girl and had somehow grown quite fond of it.

He took out a box he'd gotten from the Director himself and stuffed the hourglass unceremoniously into it. He closed it off with a feeling of triumph as he gazed around the room to see if he missed anything. His bed was stripped, the lamp on his desk (taken from Lavi's room) was packed, and his Lotus was put away. All his earthly possessions (he included Lavi's lamp in this list) were in his hands, and Lavi had just moved his clothes. Sighing, he looked nostalgically around the room before slamming the door behind him. Something orange caught his eye. Looking over, he saw Lavi walking into his own room. Curious, Yuu set the boxes on the ground and followed the redhead in.

"You are not taking that," he said firmly as he watched Lavi roll up his ridiculous burnt-orange shag rug.

"Yes, I am," Lavi said, flashing him a toothy smile. "Oh, shit, I brought a box for the lamp in your room, but you said you were packing that, didn't you?" He added, changing the subject.

"Che," Yuu said, scoffing. "Baka Usagi."

"You're mean, Yuu-chan," Lavi pouted, grabbing the as yet unfolded box and walking out of the room, presumably to return it.

Turning to the rug, Yuu quickly finished rolling it, opened the window, and dumped it out of the room without ceremony. Dusting his hands off with a satisfied smile, he returned to carrying his boxes to the room they sometimes used in the Ark. They had decided to stop going back and forth between their two rooms and the one on the Ark. It was an unnecessary hassle, and it created confusion when others were looking for them. Which was disturbingly often.

Throwing his bed sheets in the laundry hamper that Lavi insisted they use, he proceeded to unpack the lamp and place it on what would be their shared desk. Yuu would never use it anyway.

"Yuuuu!" Lavi called, stepping in and looking distressed. "Did you bring the rug with you?"

"No," Yuu said, "I threw it out your window."

Lavi looked horrified. "Don't joke like that, Yuu."

Yuu sighed. "I threw it out, Baka Usagi, it was hideous, and it had bloodstains."

Lavi's lower lip shook a little bit as if he was about to cry. Yuu dismissed it—the other man was obviously faking it. His face was slightly amusing, though.

"But… but… but… I love that rug!"

"And I hate it. It's too late anyway. If you want it, go to the base of the mountain and see if it's there. I refuse to let it in this room, though."

"You're mean, Yuu."

"Yes, I know. Your point?"

Lavi pouted and left the room. He didn't return for several hours, and when he did—looking utterly defeated—Yuu had already unpacked his lotus flower and stuck it at the back of his dresser drawer. He'd long ago forbidden Lavi from going through his laundry, so he assumed it would be the best place to hide it.

"Ne, Yuu, where's your lotus flower?" Lavi asked, still sounding miserable.

"I put it away. It's depressing when you've only got four petals left."

"What?" Lavi asked, shocked. Yuu knew he couldn't deny to Lavi that he'd lost some of his life force, but the redhead didn't need to know the exact quantity either. He wouldn't normally have lied to Lavi—he found the idea despicable—but he just couldn't live knowing that the other man was worried about him dying. It would change their relationship completely, make it more desperate than it already was, and Yuu absolutely did not want that.

"Head injury lost me the second half of the petal. I'll be fine, though. I won't activate Mugen any higher than its fourth illusion," Yuu said, his voice coming out slightly gruff. He was careful to look Lavi straight in the eye. Lavi was an expert at picking out lies, but Yuu knew he could do this convincingly. Lavi was under the assumption he would never lie, and while that was true in most cases, it most definitely wasn't in this one.

Lavi nodded contemplatively. "Yuu, don't ever go higher than that. If you use up your life force, then I'll—"

Yuu didn't want to hear this. "I know," he said, probably a lot rougher and louder than he'd meant.

"I just… I love you—I don't want you to die," Lavi said in a pitiful voice, hanging his head slightly. Yuu sighed and walked over to the redheaded man, calmly placing a hand on the back of his head and pulling it down onto his shoulder.

"I'm not going to die, rabbit. I'd tell you if I thought I was." That was a lie, naturally, because he wasn't telling Lavi now.

Lenalee walked into the room with a slight feeling of trepidation. She knew that both Kanda-kun and Lavi had moved into the Ark completely, but she was afraid she'd find them… putting things in places. They weren't though, and she sighed in relief. Not that she was disgusted by the idea, it would have just been awkward.

She found them in a little whispered argument about reading something and Lavi not wanting to.

"Er, Kanda-kun, Lavi, what are you talking about?"

"Lavi refuses to read," Kanda-kun said as if that explained everything. If Lenalee were privy to more information, perhaps it would.

"I don't… want to read it," Lavi insisted quietly.

"Well, why don't you guys come eat lunch with me and Allen, then? You can read later, okay?" Lenalee suggested.

"No, I'm still mad at Yuu. I don't want to eat with a bastard like him," Lavi said, turning his face childishly away from Kanda-kun's.

Kanda-kun scowled. "Bastard?"

"Yeah, you threw my rug out of the window!" Lavi yelled, raising his voice. Kanda-kun looked stricken.

"Now, guys, this really isn't the time to…" Lenalee said, bringing her hands up placatingly.

"Of course I threw it out the window, it was ugly—and bloodstained!" Kanda-kun yelled back.

"You know how much I love it, though!" Lavi screamed, upping his volume again.

"It was a hideous orange, worse than your hair!" Kanda-kun screamed, matching Lavi's dynamic.

"You hate my hair?"

"Yes!"

"Well, I hate black!" Lavi shouted unconvincingly.

"No, you don't!"

Lavi made a disgruntled noise. "You bastard!" He yelled, slapping Kanda-kun. Lenalee gasped. Why were they fighting over something so stupid?

"Oh, it's on, rabbit," Kanda-kun growled, leaping onto Lavi in a predatory manner, pushing him off the bed and onto the hard ground. Lavi grunted in pain as Kanda-kun tried to wrestle him into submission.

"Guys!" Lenalee shouted, activating her Innocence in case things went much farther. Lavi pulled himself free and ran for the door, Kanda-kun streaking after him, activating his own Innocence and drawing the blade close enough to her face to make her squeak.

She heard a scream from outside and then the invocation of Lavi's fire seal. Running outside into the Exorcists' alleyway, she noticed she'd already lost sight of the two warring men. Gazing at the plaza, she saw a bright fire erupt and then disappear. She ran quickly over to find the soldiers and other Exorcists staring in awe as the two threw attacks back and forth with deadly accuracy that the other barely managed to dodge.

"Kanda-kun! Lavi!" She hollered, cupping her hands around her mouth for more volume. "Stop!"

A hand came up on her shoulder, startling her. She whipped her head around too quickly to avoid a small amount of whiplash in time to see Amanda there, looking solemn and shaking her head.

"They're not fighting," she said, her face breaking into a smile. "They're just playin' with each other. Let 'em, it's been a while since their last mock-fight."

Lenalee was confused. "But they've never drawn weapons at each other before!" She insisted.

"That may be," Amanda said, "but they're not serious. Look, Lavi's smiling."

"Lavi always smiles, especially when he doesn't mean it," Lenalee said. She'd learned that during the three months that Lavi didn't remember. So many times she had seen his empty smile and nearly burst into tears.

"But look—Yuu-pyon is smilin', too," Amanda chirped. Somehow, she was right.

"Kanda-kun rarely smiles, not like that," Lenalee said, now in complete awe. In those three months, she'd thought he'd lost his smile—even the bitter ones—completely. She was glad to see it back again. It seemed to be much more common now, though, and she had hopes that perhaps Kanda-kun was finally starting to heal.

She watched as the two collapsed to the ground, laughing. That had been a shock at first, seeing Kanda-kun laugh without any restraints. She'd never seen it before a few weeks ago, and it had become so natural and ordinary now that Lenalee couldn't help but feel that things were looking up for her favorite Japanese man. Not that she knew any others.

They proceeded to stare at each other for a concerning amount of time. And then Lavi said, "Yuu, your smile is sexy."

"Thank… you?" Kanda-kun replied uncertainly.

"No. Yuu, your smile is really sexy. Really, really sexy," Lavi reiterated. Kanda-kun's eyes widened for some reason, and he smiled.

"Ah. Well, I feel like taking a nap. Would you… ah fuck it. Che. Come on, Lavi."

Lavi nodded, grabbing Kanda-kun's hand—which the latter tried to rip away—as he followed him back to their room. Amanda giggled beside Lenalee.

"What?" She asked, though she had a pretty good idea where the two were headed.

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all," Amanda said mysteriously. "Shall we get lunch?" She asked. Lenalee nodded and followed the American girl to the cafeteria.

Yuu glared at the stupid rabbit who was looking guiltily over at his x-rays.

"Er, there seems to be a transverse fracture here, Mr. Kanda," the doctor said, examining the x-rays with a contemplative expression on his face. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "You also have signs of old spiral fractures in this arm. Mr. Lavi, may I ask you to step outside for a moment?"

Lavi glanced over curiously at Yuu, who nodded. If the doctor had something stupid to ask, he'd ask it in private. Lavi stepped uneasily out of the room. Yuu knew the other man could still hear, having the ears of a Bookman.

"Mr. Kanda, you and Mr. Lavi are together, am I correct?"

Yuu didn't like where this was going. Blankly, he nodded.

"How long have the two of you been together?" The doctor asked, his tone suspicious.

How long had it been? Could he count the summer? But that didn't make sense, as they hadn't really, truly been together since that night when Yuu had gotten back from—but he wasn't going to tell the doctor anyway, so why did it matter?

"That isn't your business," he growled, glaring at the man, who flinched back, gulping.

"I'm just wondering, as you said you were a fast healer. If you and Mr. Lavi have been together for more than a month or two, then these injuries would probably—"

"What idiotic suggestion are you trying to make?" Yuu asked nastily, his hand twitching to his left hip, where Mugen sat, deactivated and waiting Yuu's instructions.

"Mr. Kanda, is Mr. Lavi abusing you?" The doctor asked. Yuu couldn't help it, he laughed.

"You're an idiot!" He yelled, sobering. "I'm an Exorcist, these sort of injuries—"

"—Do not come from the battlefield. Mr. Kanda, these are spiral fractures. They come from your arm being twisted—"

"You think Akuma are incapable of grabbing arms and twisting them in a way that would cause a fracture?" Yuu asked rhetorically, getting up off the bed. The pressure cast was annoying, as was the sling, but it was better than the plaster alternative.

"I'm just saying that you shouldn't use your occupation as a way to hide physical abuse," the doctor replied stubbornly.

Yuu seethed. He was not going to admit anything about his father to this stupid health professional. "You're prying into things that aren't there. Lavi and I may hit each other, but that's only while we're training." Yuu looked away, a blush forming on his face. They also hit each other to get an edge over the other while…

He cut that thought off, just in case the doctor was telepathic. Said doctor sighed dejectedly. Abruptly, the stupid rabbit that he hated burst into the room.

"Yuu, you gave me a black eye!" He complained loudly, pointing at his bad eye.

"You broke my arm," he responded, voice hard and cold as iron.

"How was I supposed to know it would bend that way! And besides, it wasn't me!"

"You don't know that, rabbit!" Yuu shouted.

"What if it had been my other eye, huh? I'd be fucking blind!"

"Good riddance!"

Lavi sniffed heartily, and Yuu pulled him from the room, ignoring the doctor's protests. It wasn't worth staying now that he was bandaged properly. And he was hungry, dammit. His stomach growled, making him curse under his breath. He hated admitting any weakness, especially hunger. That was probably why he hated yawning—he didn't like his enemies knowing he was even the least bit tired.

They headed over to the Order's cafeteria. The Infernal Girl asked prying questions, mocking him with the amusement in her eyes.

"Hey, Yuu-pyon, are you in an abusive relationship?" Amanda asked. "'Cause if you are, you gotta get out of it. I know from experience—they're bad for ya."

Yuu punched her, even though he didn't like to hit girls. To be fair, he had hit her arm, not her face or stomach (or chest—Yuu shuddered at the notion, remembering that horrible day at the beach). He stomped out of the cafeteria, ignoring the idea of food. Lavi followed fifteen minutes later with a tray of food for him.

Sitting in their new room on the Ark, he watched Lavi read, feeling somewhat at peace despite the healing pains that shot through his arm every once in a while.

"Ne, Yuu, listen to this: 'It may be the biggest mistake I ever made, picking Liam as an apprentice. Bookmen are supposed to be objective, but something about that incorrigible kid has made me lose it. I can't imagine a life when he is not my pupil, when he is not asking stupid questions or assuming something wrong that I must fix. It has been a joy, somehow, to be his Master, and it is very hard to leave him behind in preference of a new apprentice. It feels like I'm betraying him somehow. I don't like the feeling. I have grown attached to Liam, and it is very hard now to leave him behind. I hope, when he wakes up, he'll be able to be happy. I hope he won't choose to continue on this path—he doesn't deserve the eternal numbness, the never-ending objectivity. I have come to believe he deserves happiness. Perhaps this is what attachment does to people. But I do not regret being attached to Liam. They were the best years of my unfeeling life. I'll never forget him. I wish him the best. So now I must close this scroll of my life and move on, forgetting all attachments and trying not to dwell on the strange hurt in my chest. Horace, my new apprentice, is the one I must train now. I know, though, that I will never be attached to him, because in a way, my heart belongs to Liam. Liam is the only person I have ever felt a bond of kinship with. I wish him well as I move on. I hope he will move on, too.'

"That's the most redundant I've ever seen Bookman be. You were right, Yuu-chan, he did care," Lavi said. Yuu looked over in time to see the first of the tears fall, and he reluctantly held the other man as he cried for his master a second time. Thankfully, this time, there wasn't a hideous orange carpet for him to bleed on.

Removing his pressure bandage a few hours later, Yuu tested its range of motion. Despite a few twinges, it seemed fine.

"Oh, it's alright now?" Lavi asked. "Does that mean we can continue from before?"

Yuu scoffed. "You broke my arm, and you want to try to do it again?" He asked incredulously.

"Yuu, all I did was push ya down on the bed. The rest you did all by yourself. And you're smilin' again, despite all the anger. And you're smile's still damn sexy," Lavi insisted.

Yuu lifted the other man up bodily, favoring his left arm just slightly. "You are going down now, rabbit," he growled, smiling predatorily. Lavi gulped, panic coming into his eye as Yuu pushed him down on the other side of the bed, hard. Harder than he'd pushed Yuu down. Lavi bounced off the mattress, over the footboard, and onto the floor. Rubbing his head, he remounted the bed, grumbling something about how it wouldn't have hurt so much if he had had his damn rug. Yuu didn't care, though. He reached out and tugged at Lavi's ear, causing the other man to gasp wildly. He was surprised, though, when Lavi pushed him away.

"Yuu, be gentle with me, ne?" He asked with acute panic in his voice, as if he was afraid Yuu was going to break every bone in his body. Which he was.

"No," he responded. He leaned over and brought their lips into sweet, gentle contact, though, stroking the back of Lavi's head lightly. He let his hand slide down and peel the zipper of Lavi's jacket away as he tenderly licked Lavi's lower lip.

Lavi gasped, opening his mouth enough to allow Yuu entrance. Slowly—sensuously, as Lavi would put it—he reached a hand under the man's shirt, sliding it up until he reached the soft skin of Lavi's chest, running his fingers across it lightly. Surprisingly, the redhead made a mewling noise in the back of his throat, and Yuu responded by sliding the man's jacket off completely, throwing it across the room and not caring where it landed.

He felt Lavi's hands tugging at his own shirt and pulling it over his head. Yuu did the same, bringing the man's body even closer. His hair swirled over the contours of Lavi's bare skin, tracing the lines his hands were making. Yuu lightly, this time, pushed Lavi down onto the mattress, straddling him as the man went down. Lavi made a surprised noise, which Yuu cut off by kissing him tenderly. Just like anytime they did anything physical, he wanted to show Lavi the extent of his love, as he was still unable to say it. This time though, he wanted to express it further. He had jokingly asked for it to be gentle, and Yuu was going to oblige.

There was none of the usual struggle for dominance, none of the pain that preceded the pleasure; all there was were Yuu's raw feelings for for once, Yuu didn't care that they were snuggling. It was okay to call it that, but only just this once.

"Lavi," Yuu muttered, holding the other man closer.

"Hmmm?" Lavi responded, eyes still closed and obviously still mostly asleep.

"Get up," he ordered. He wouldn't say it, but he had to pee.

"Can't," Lavi mumbled.

"Why not?" Yuu asked testily, trying not to shudder against the burning urge in his bladder.

"I melted, I'm a puddle."

"You're a puddle?" Yuu asked slowly, uncomprehending.

"Yes, I'm a puddle of Lavi goo," the redhead responded.

"Well, you need to get up. I am… in need of… fuck, I need to pee, Lavi, let me go." There, he'd said it. Face burning, he didn't look at the other man as he obliged, and he kept his gaze far away as he slowly dressed in the clothes that were still strewn over the floor. He picked a pair of Lavi's pants by accident, but he didn't care, not even bothering to grab a shirt in his hurry to find the Ark's nearest facilities.

Everyone stared as he ran, holding Lavi's pants up, but he was too intent on his target to do more than scowl as he passed. Which was good. Perhaps he was too blurry for them to see all the scars. He'd lost another petal, so he assumed he now had more. Which was bad. No one needed to see those, Lavi especially. He didn't mind Lavi touching them, viewing them, when they were being… physical… but at any other time, it was like Lavi was trying to examine him, like the man was always counting them.

He returned a few minutes later, feeling incredibly relieved. Grabbing his shirt from the floor, he proceeded to pull it on when he felt warm hands on his sides.

"Yuu, where did these scars come from?" Looking down, Yuu saw a rather large, ragged scar stretching from the middle of his left side to his shoulder and a larger one paralleling the first on his right. Both scars stretched through to his back.

"The one on the left is from Martel, when Moyashi was still an incompetent child, and the one on the right is from Italy. I probably have two on my right shoulder from Martel as well. You shouldn't be so surprised, Lavi, I am an Exorcist. If I'm getting my scars back, then there are going to be a lot. This goes more for me, as I have always fought without thought of injury," Yuu explained as he pulled his shirt on completely.

He leaned back against the headboard, letting his arms fall to his sides. He was tired, so he closed his eyes and reached for Lavi's hand. Suddenly, there was a pressure on his forearm and it was abruptly turned so the underside was facing the ceiling. He opened his eyes in confusion to see Lavi looking horrified… and angry.

"What the fuck are these?" Lavi demanded. With a feeling of dread, Yuu looked down.

"Ah, those would be from the times I tried to commit suicide with Mugen," Yuu replied, shrugging nonchalantly, and trying to remove his arm from Lavi's unforgiving grip.

"Yuu there are almost twenty scars on this arm!"

"I told you I did it once, right after I met Tiedoll, I just didn't mention the other times. They weren't important."

"Not important? How the fuck is this not important? How many other scars are you hiding from me?" Yuu sighed and reluctantly lifted up one of the pant legs. He wasn't surprised to see the long jagged scars there as well. Lavi blanched and spluttered for a moment.

"W-why? Why would you do that to yourself?" Lavi asked, grabbing Yuu's arms and turning him so that he had no choice but to look at his lo—Lavi.

"Because it made me feel like I was alive, like the pain was what was keeping me connected to the world, isn't that what you did with your hands?" That comment stopped Lavi short as he contemplated.

"When was the last time you did it?" Lavi asked.

"When I was sixteen," Yuu replied quietly. "Oh, and once when I was twenty," he added after a moment of thought.

"Yuu, why did you always run parallel to your arm—?"

"You know why," Yuu whispered, looking away. "I told you before, I wanted to die. You shouldn't be so surprised by this." He ripped his arm from Lavi's oppressive grip and went to his top drawer to grab his Exorcist jacket. He didn't care that it would be brutally hot in the Ark with it on. He just needed to not be around Lavi.

"Then why, when you were sixteen, did you—?"

Yuu turned from his position at the door. "You know why," he hissed, slamming the door behind him on his way out, leaving a very confused, oblivious Lavi.

December 2, 2013—The Dark Order, Director's Office

Carter sighed. Sometimes, being the most Liberal Head of the most Conservative organization on the planet made his brain hurt, but now it was making his heart hurt. As he looked down at the file, he knew he had to do something about the situation, but he couldn't stop the inspection from happening. He also knew he couldn't separate the two Exorcists, even for the amount of time it took for the inspection to be complete. Another bed, it seemed, was in order. They could be roommates for a day, could they not?

Heaving it down the corridor to the Ark, he enlisted the help of several of his subordinates. He knocked grimly on Lavi's door (on which a rabbit and a cat were hastily scribbled. Carter noted that the cat seemed to be crossed out with several choice Japanese characters next to it). He was unprepared for the sight that greeted him. Brain frozen with shock, Carter barely managed to think that he didn't really need to know what color boxers Lavi had around his ankles. Thankfully, the redheaded Exorcist was wearing a small towel, but Carter didn't think that image would ever leave his mind. It was burned there, branded like cattle in a third world country.

"Lavi, I need to speak with you," Carter said seriously.

"Er, can it wait until after my shower? I really have to pee and—yeah," Lavi finished lamely. From the state of the room—clothes strewn about, sheets thrown unceremoniously over the nightstand, several suspicious-looking stains—he would have to have Lavi clean up, if the man was capable of such tidiness.

"It really can't." Perhaps it was his tone, but Lavi sobered immediately and stepped back, allowing the Director and his crew into the room. The bed came, too.

"Why do you have a bed?" Lavi asked, scratching his head as he pulled his—God, seriously?—bunny-patterned boxers up.

"We're going to be having a few visitors today," Carter said, shooing his subordinates from the room. They closed the door behind them, and Carter sighed heavily, handing Lavi a copy of the e-mail he'd received this morning.

He watched as Lavi's eye moved impossibly fast over the note, finishing it in a quarter of the time it would have taken him, his face growing darker with each line. "Cardinals?" Lavi finally asked, looking up. Carter wasn't sure, but he thought he saw a flash of fear in the young man's eye before it was whisked away and placed back under his unreadable mask. "Why does this concern me?"

"There are some things you need to know about Vatican policies," Carter said, looking anywhere but at the young redhead in front of him. The poor kid.

Lavi raised an eyebrow. "I dunno, D'rector, I know a lot about Vatican policies. I was there in the Leverrier reign, after all."

"You think the Leverriers are gone?" Carter asked sharply, laughing bitterly without meaning to. "I guarantee at least one of the Cardinals is related to them somehow. Hell, even the fucking Pope!"

Lavi flinched. "I still don't see why this concerns me," he repeated.

"In the past few decades, the Church has become almost radically anti-homosexual," Carter explained, this time meeting Lavi's solitary green eye. "It's a reaction to the increase in secular support for it. I think they clung to their radical opinions as a way to show they still had power over something. But their motive doesn't matter in this situation. It was kept from the public completely. Lavi, if they find out about you and Kanda, Exorcists or not, they will kill you."

"They may not enjoy the thought of our relationship," Lavi insisted, "but we are two of the four most powerful Exorcists. If they kill us, the tide of the war will change completely."

"It's happened before," Carter appealed quietly. "They were just members of the Science Department. They were in charge of the first generation Anti-Akuma guns—these two ladies actually created the weapon by themselves, though the records state it was the entire team. Saying that these two ladies—who were left off the team roster—created them is just about the only un-biased thing I've seen in any of Smith's reports. Lavi, they were killed."

He handed Lavi the report, which he had thankfully taken with him. Lavi flipped it back on the bed. "I can read it later. I just need to know right now—how did they die?" His voice was urgent, and Carter couldn't for the life of him understand what had caused the change, what was motivating him now to act like this.

He didn't want to say it. He really didn't. "In the basement of the Order, there's a floor that contains a large bomb shelter. It sometimes doubled as a prison. They…" Carter cleared his throat. "They shackled the women to either side of a cell and let them watch each other starve to death."

Lavi blinked, unphased. He shrugged, but his tone when he next spoke belied all his panic. "Where is Yuu?"

Carter shook his head. "I thought he was with you."

Lavi, too, shook his head. He brought his green eye to meet with Carter's, and the Director was blown away by how much raw fear was held in it. He had never before seen the young man so worried. "He left two hours ago. I bet he's trainin'. Ne, Director, you owe me a really long, warm shower." Lavi hastily pulled on a pair of pants as he spoke. He ran from the room, feet bare and only in pants, presumably to find the man he very obviously loved.

Carter watched his back disappear and then returned to his office. There was nothing more he could do, as much as he hated it.

Somewhere that the Cardinals wouldn't find them. They'd inspect rooms, of course, so theirs was out, even with the addition of another bed. As for the state of his bed—it wouldn't be uncommon for an Exorcist, or any young man, really, to pleasure himself. The stains were easily explainable. The Church might frown on masturbation, but in the scheme of things, Lavi figured they'd let it go. Everyone did it. It was the biggest secret humanity held. And honestly, with all the Priests getting off on young boys these days, he felt the Vatican was being just a mite hypocritical.

He found Yuu training, naturally. The man had worked up a sexy sweat that was completely covered by his Exorcist jacket, and his hair had long since fallen from its customary ponytail.

"Yuu!" He shouted. The long-haired man lost his footing and fell, Mugen flitting back into inactivity so he wouldn't fall on the blade.

The glare he got was probably the coldest he'd ever received, but he didn't care right now. "What the fuck, Rabi?" Yuu screamed, obviously too infuriated to speak English.

"Yuu, I know you're angry, but now's not the time," Lavi said, a note of panic breaking his voice on the last word.

Yuu blinked and lost all apparent hostility. Getting up from the cold, stone floor, he walked straight over to Lavi. Surprisingly, Yuu put a hand on his shoulder. "What happened?" He asked quietly.

"We need to not be together for a few hours," Lavi said, his voice pained. "Apparently, the Church is still filled with Conservative freaks, and we'll get killed if we don't. We also need a place to avoid being found. No one goes to the library, so I think we should go there."

Yuu nodded soberly as Lavi grabbed his hand and started pulling him from the room. They reached the library very quickly, it being only a few hallways over and three floors up. They walked over to Lavi's usual corner in the very back of the building, near the archives section.

"I'm going to read," Lavi said, his voice shaking. He could stand death, but Yuu—he shook his head. Best not to think about that. He grabbed the nearest book, one he'd already read, unfortunately, and sat down on the couch he had come to call his own. He was surprised to feel Yuu sit down next to him, a book of Japanese literature in hand.

"So, what exactly is this all about?" Yuu asked after a while.

"The Order still kills people it doesn't like. We're people it doesn't like."

"Che, we're Exorcists—"

"Doesn't matter," Lavi dismissed.

They read for hours, and Lavi began to feel drowsy. Normally, he could work through it—it was a skill Bookman had praised him for—but he didn't want to fight the oblivion he was being offered. When he was asleep, he didn't have to worry about them dying, about Yuu being killed simply for being his lover, about stupid, fat-ass good-for-nothings who thought they were superior just because they'd never been on a battlefield. When he was asleep, he didn't have to worry about war.

He felt his heavy head hit Yuu's shoulder—that was still innocent enough, right?—and as he finally drifted off, he felt something warm and strong encircle his hand. Whatever it was, it felt very, very good, and he hoped it just stayed there. It reminded him of cinnamon and lotuses, and whenever those scents were around him, everything was right in the world.

The photographer liked his new job. It was very high-paying, had excellent benefits, and it gave him an exclusive look into the lives of all the Exorcists of the Dark Order. He exited his new office, which was located at the back of the library. He saw the redheaded Exorcist—his name started with an L or something—and the effeminate Exorcist sit down on a couch in the corner. He loved people watching, and the dynamic of their relationship was fun to get on film. As the redhead's head drooped and then fell onto the other Exorcist's shoulder—that one was Kanda, if he recalled correctly—the photographer decided it was a good time to take another photo. He had a massive collection of this couple, along with the budding one between General Walker and General Lee.

He could call it his passion, he supposed, taking pictures and videos of people as their relationships grew. It was interesting to look at them later, make up stories for how they got into the positions he'd photographed them in. He saw the other one drift off, placing a hand in the redhead's. It was a sweet moment, one he couldn't ruin with a flash. Ensuring it was off, he took out his manual camera and snapped a picture. So innocent, so carefree… he loved it.

He couldn't help but laugh as they shifted lightly in their long nap. First, the black-haired man fell backward, his back hitting the couch. The redhead fell shortly thereafter, landing on Kanda, who only grabbed the man, pulling him closer. The photographer took out his video camera. It would be a good exercise to document how this deteriorated further.

A movement in the corner of his eye alerted him to the presence of someone new on the scene—or rather, a group of someones. It was a red-cloaked procession. At first, they didn't seem to notice the two napping Exorcists, but then one of them pointed over.

"Is that a man or a woman?" One of the scarlet men asked.

"I… think… they're both men," another one of them commented.

"Heresy," a third hissed. The photographer didn't like where this was going. Couldn't these red people see how pure this relationship was?

"Inspector Euleine, kindly restrain them. You are a user of Crow, are you not?" The first one who had spoken requested. The callous tone under the order told the photographer all he needed to know about the situation. Something was going to happen to his favorite couple—and more importantly, two Exorcists—and it was his job to record it. Just like the Bookmen recorded history, the photographer recorded this Order and its goings-on. He reached back for his pack of spare batteries and lenses, checked to ensure they were for the proper device, and inched farther away from his office, hiding behind a bookshelf.

"Yuu…?" The red-haired one asked groggily, searching for his lover's hand and not finding it. He and Kanda had been picked up from the couch and bound with strange, card-like objects. There was a ring of them around the redhead's right thigh and surprisingly, two more, one around each of his hands. A larger, belt-like ring pulled tightly at Kanda's hips, binding his already activating Innocence to his leg.

The procession of Cardinals—and that was definitely what they were—picked the two Exorcists up and carried them off. Without a moment's hesitation, the photographer followed. He was led through a labyrinth of hallways and a plethora of steps until somehow, inexplicably; he ended up behind a pillar, watching as the Cardinals pushed the Exorcists to the floor of the Grand Marshals' level.

"What's going on?" The Grand Marshal in the middle asked.

"These two have been tried for insubordination before—why were they not investigated further?" One of the Cardinals called out in a deep voice.

"It wasn't necessary," the Grand Marshal answered. "If you looked at the report, one was declared insane and was given a psych referral and the other was… unaccountable for his actions as well."

"Explain."

"Unconscious at the time of the trial. It is particularly hard to investigate someone when he is staring lethargically out into space, not responding to anything asked of him. His particular cases of insubordination were acquitted due to Smith's incompetency," the Grand Marshal said, almost as if he had practiced the speech. The photographer hoped the puny microphone chip in his recorder would be able to pick up this conversation. He could always rely on the redhead later, if he was still alive, but he hoped for proper audio nonetheless.

"I find it inexcusable that an investigation could be held and completely overlook the blatant sodomy."

"I—what?" The Grand Marshal sounded appalled, though his tone made it apparent that it was geared toward the Cardinal, not toward the allegations being made.

"Sodomy is a sin; it is against the law of the Vatican, which makes it heresy. Why were these two not punished accordingly?"

"With all due respect, you bastard, there was no sodomy around that time. Unless you're saying I'm into necrophilia, 'cause that's what Yuu was like at th—"

There was a resounding smack that echoed with monstrous volume throughout the hall. The photographer watched, horrified, as the redhead went down hard, despite the arms that restrained him. Kanda called the redhead's name—which the photographer missed—and made to move forward, as if trying to catch the other man, but was held back. He made a snarling noise but was otherwise unable to move. A moment later, another card-like object was over his face, and he looked like he was beginning to suffocate.

"Since you seem to be incapable of following protocol, we'll take care of it from here," a Cardinal said, reaching down and slinging the redhead's now barely-conscious form—he had apparently hit his head on the ground when he'd been slapped—over his shoulder. The Grand Marshals and Cardinals stood, simply staring at each other with mutual dislike, until Kanda fell to the floor himself, a distinct shade of blue that was apparent despite the dim lighting. The object over his mouth was removed, and the man let out a gasping breath. Later, the photographer would have to review his footage, see how long they'd been asphyxiating him.

They walked over to the main elevator—copied from the original triangular prism from the old Headquarters—and went down, toting the two Exorcists with them as if they were rag dolls. The photographer nodded to the Grand Marshals as he followed, taking a service elevator that moved far faster to Hevlaska's chamber.

"Hevlaska," the Cardinal with the redhead called out. The ancient, bright white Exorcist emerged from a coil that looked much like a sleeping position.

"Yes?" She asked in her deep alto voice.

"You are to confiscate the Innocence from these two men. They have disobeyed the laws of the Vatican and as such must be removed from the Order. When you have the Innocence, revert it to elemental form."

"Its form does not matter, and as long as the Innocence is synched with them, it is that rate that matters most," Hevlaska said, not refusing their order but not acquiescing to it, either.

"You are to do as we say, or must we remind you why?" One Cardinal in the middle of the group asked. Hevlaska flinched, and the photographer heard a hushed whisper of family murderer go around.

She reluctantly nodded and released tendrils down to the two Exorcists. "I cannot take it from them when they are bound so," she said, sounding mournful.

The bounds were released immediately, and Hevlaska reached out her tentacles to retrieve the Innocence. With its removal, the redhead began to scream, deep and loud and guttural. Blood spouted like twin fountains from his hands, and still the man screamed on. The Cardinals stuffed something in his mouth to mute the noise, but it could not be muffled.

"LAVI!" Kanda shouted, fighting desperately against the people holding him still. He elbowed one in the stomach and got another with a kick to the groin. A third one went down with a punch to the face. Kanda's knuckles began to bleed, but he ran quickly over to his fallen lover, holding the other man's bleeding hands gently in his own.

They were ripped apart a moment later and both screamed harder, protesting the treatment.

From above, Hevlaska made a strange sound. "I cannot revert them up here, together. They both take on such an evolved form that it may be impossible to melt it down altogether."

"You will do it!"

Hevlaska shrank into herself. "It will take time, and I cannot do it up here. My stomach holds many slots for Innocence. I believe I may be able to do it there." The Innocence floated down through her translucent body and into the depths of the Order. From the way Hevlaska had looked, the photographer understood that last bit had been a lie. He wasn't sure about the first comment she had made, though, about being unable to revert them at all. He sincerely hoped that was the case.

A Cardinal walked over to the service elevator, toward the photographer, and he sprinted out, moving behind a pile of boxes placed conveniently right next to it.

"Where are you taking them?" Hevlaska asked, screwing up her face in what the photographer recognized as faux-concentration.

"Below," was the only answer she was given. The photographer heard a distant whimper that matched the voice of the redhead—Lavi, he reminded himself. He would never forget that scream.

"Thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine, fort—"

A whack to the back of the head, but he didn't stop keeping count. It was so far, so, so far down, and they just kept descending, descending…

"forty-three," he continued once he was able to clear his head enough to continue mumbling, "forty-four, forty-five, fo—"

Another whack. "Shut up, fag!"

"I'm not a bassoon," Lavi commented, though he knew that wasn't what the Cardinals had meant. He'd been around Amanda long enough to know all the slang of the past several decades. He never thought that particular one would be used against him, though, not with such menace behind it. "Forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two—"

He was hit again, but it didn't matter. He could barely feel it over the raw throbbing in his hands. The Innocence had healed them, yes, but it had run deep lines down to his bone, and when those were gone, well… apparently, it was like when stitches popped. Violently. A minute or two after they were put in.

"Fifteen, sixteen," he continued, despite the rough treatment he was getting. He knew Yuu was barely hanging on, that he needed an anchor, and Lavi also needed to make sure his seconds were accurate. They'd been going down for a minute and twenty seconds now, a minute and twenty-three, a minute and twenty-eight…

"Thirty-four, thirty—"

This time, it was Lavi who stopped himself. The door of the elevator slid open with a dinging noise. There was no light. Lavi's eyes had already become accustomed to the one tiny lantern in the lift, but now there was nothing. It was a void. A vast emptiness that reminded Lavi of his head.

There was a sliding, grating noise as a very thick, heavy-looking metal door squeaked open, obviously lacking in oil. Ahead, he heard another door open. He looked over to where he was sure he could hear Yuu's somewhat unsteady breathing.

"Yuu," he called softly. He heard a grunt and breathed a sigh of relief. "Moyashi will do something about this, the others, too," he said, switching to Japanese in the hopes that the Cardinals wouldn't understand. From the confused shuffling and delayed admonishments, they hadn't. "Suki da," he said hoarsely, quietly. He heard Yuu grunt again, a lighter, almost hopeful grunt that was worth all the pain that the fist in his back gave him.

"Su—su—ah." There was a muffled thump, one that Lavi couldn't identify.

"Yuu?" He asked in a quivering voice. There was a third grunt, and Lavi felt somewhat relieved again. He got another strike to the back. Obviously, talking was out.

Suddenly, he was moving, and he couldn't hear Yuu's breathing anymore; it was going away… or was that him? He couldn't tell. He heard more heavy squeaking. Wind rushed passed him, and he assumed he was falling. The hard, freezing stone that he hit a moment later confirmed his hypothesis. Hands moved around him—something clanked around his ankles. Whatever they were, they were colder than the air around him. And then he was alone.

"Thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine, fort—"

Those words, just simple numbers ascending one at a time, kept Yuu concentrating on something other than the oppressive feeling, than the cold that had started to settle the moment the light had faded so long ago.

"Forty-three, forty-four, forty-five, fo—"

Every time Lavi stopped speaking, every time someone hit him to cut him off, tore at Yuu. He didn't like being bound, being without his Innocence. He hated it. He'd never been without Mugen. Mugen was the thing that had kept him alive. Mugen was the thing that was slowly being replaced with Lavi. But his chokuto's importance to him could never be erased, and he felt physically… empty without it. He had a feeling it had to do with how it was crystal type, but right now wasn't the time to dwell on it. His sword was missing from his body, he couldn't activate it, and he was about to be killed. He must be, because it was so cold, even with his Exorcist jacket.

"Shut up, fag!" Yuu didn't know what that meant—he wasn't up-to-date with slang, nor did he want to be—but he didn't like the tone, and he knew it was aimed toward Lavi. His Lavi. He curled his hands into fists, unable to do anything more than that.

"I'm not a bassoon," Lavi murmured. Yuu blinked into the darkness, not that it changed the vision that much. The little lantern was so dim it couldn't really be counted as illumination. "Forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one, fifty-two—"

They hit Lavi yet again. He remained quiet for far too long. Yuu shifted, but he felt something reach down and restrain him, as if they had read his mind. He needed to be by Lavi's side—was he unconscious? He didn't know, but he was… goddammit he was fucking worried. He could admit that to himself, could he not? Screw pride, fuck it. He was worried.

Deep in his mind, he felt one of the chains holding his emotions erode just a little bit.

He took a deep, relieved breath when Lavi began to speak again. "Fifteen, sixteen…" His voice faded away again. Yuu's heart started beating faster again. Lavi had lost so much blood; he was probably in shock right now. If he wasn't delirious from that, they'd certainly hit him enough, probably in the back of the head. He really needed to know if Lavi was okay, because in this tiny space, there was only one certainty: he loved Lavi, and if anything happened to the man, Yuu couldn't live.

A chain broke completely, one of the many necessary to free his emotions. It wasn't much, but perhaps it was progress. Finally.

"Thirty-four, thirty—"

Yuu felt the lift bounce infinitesimally as it came to a stop. One minute and thirty-four and a half seconds. From the lifts he'd taken recently, that was a ridiculously long time. They were very deep in the mountain, then.

He heard Lavi's breathing, and that steadied him. Yes, he could concentrate. This was just like when he meditated. Deep breath in, deep breath out, matching them to something very important—like Lavi's breaths.

"Yuu," Lavi said quietly, "Moyashi will do something about this, the others, too." The unseen redhead spoke in Japanese. Somehow, just that lightened the mood enough for him to find a tiny amount of peace. He could get through this, because Lavi was still alive. Because Lavi was right there, even if Mugen wasn't. "Suki da," Lavi added hoarsely, his voice nearly too quiet for Yuu to hear.

He needed to say it back. Deep in his mind, the feelings thrashed and bucked and tore at the restraints. He loved Lavi, he loved him, let him say it, dear God, let him say it, even if he didn't believe in God. It became a litany in his head: say it, say it…

And then, miraculously, he thought he could. Maybe just this once. If it was going to be his only chance. "Su—su—ah." Something hit him in the back, forcing a grunt from his throat. They weren't allowed to talk, and now that the opportunity was gone, Yuu couldn't say it. But he wanted to.

"Yuu?"

That sweet, sweet voice. He didn't care if Lavi thought it sounded like a fucking apple. Apples tasted good, they were fine, he loved them. Tiedoll had given him one, before he'd died, back when they'd first met. Every time he returned to Headquarters, Tiedoll would insist on giving him a big apple. It annoyed him, but it reminded him that some things in life were tolerable. Not his Master, though. Well, maybe his Master, he amended. But apples were good—they were his favorite fruit. And that had nothing to do with Lavi. Not that he would tell the stupid rabbit that. Not that he'd ever get the chance.

He didn't think Lavi's voice sounded like an apple. It was bitter and sweet, like sweet and sour sauce. If he was comparing it to something, which he wasn't.

He couldn't hear Lavi's breathing anymore—where had he gone? Hadn't he been next to Yuu? Even the dim light of the lantern was gone, and Yuu could see nothing. Could Lavi see anything? He nearly hit his head at his idiocy. It's dark! He screamed at himself. Of course he can't!

Which scared him. Not that he would admit it.

And then they were moving him. He heard something that sounded like a scream. It was Lavi's voice. He tried to struggle, but they wouldn't let him, holding him in a vice-tight grip. They were just pulling him along for so long. He screamed out, yelled, shrieked. Lavi was there, and they were taking Yuu away from him. He lost count of footsteps. But he still screamed, screamed in English, in Japanese, even in fucking Sanskrit. Even after his voice cracked and died, he still screamed on.

He heard something open, felt the light breeze as it moved past his face. Then he was in a room, cold and dark, and though he couldn't see the door, it reminded him of his childhood. He tried to curl up, but the people were still there, pulling him further in. He tried to struggle, tried to scream though his voice was gone, but to no avail. The Exorcist jacket was ripped from his body. He felt the knife that tore it away sink through flesh in a shallow wound that would probably bleed far too much. His shirt was thrown off, too. Yuu shivered in the cold. It was freezing.

His back hit the wall, and this time, he did make a noise—a sort of strangled yelp that didn't suit him at all. His hands were wrenched above his head. Adrenaline crashed through his system. No, no no! His head screamed out. He would never be shackled again. No! Not this! Anything, no, stop!

He didn't realize there was a voice pervading the air again until its brief flicker to life had died down. The movements of the Cardinals had stopped, and they stood above him. Had he said that out loud? It wouldn't surprise him. What language had he spoken in?

"You don't deserve our mercy," someone very, very close said. Yuu shuddered away. It wasn't his father, it really wasn't. His father was dead. He was over this, dammit! Hadn't he chosen to get over it when he'd told Lavi? So why was he shaking like a leaf?

Yuu jerked against their hold. The wall against his back was freezing. Everything was so cold, and his father was right there, right in front of him, breathing hot, moist breath on his cheek as he smiled down at him.

Yuu fought and fought and fought, but cold things came around his wrists too. The door closed, but Yuu knew they were looming there, looming, just like his father. They would loom and then they would come in, and they would show him his mother, beat her up, rape her, all in front of him, and he was helpless to stop it because no matter how hard he screamed and how hard he pulled at the shackles on his wrists, he was held immobile.

And then he began to seize.

A/N: That was long. O.O

Sorry about the continued Kanda and Lavi torture. Seriously, though, this is the LAST time. Well, except for once more, but that's more… self-inflicted?