We are almost finished. It's sad, right. But don't worry. I'm not ready to let it go so Worth Fighting will be out some time in the near future. I tell all of you how much I love ya'll for reading my story and staying with all four of them-and I hope you stick with Sage and Grace's story too.
You are enough. You are so enough. It is unbeliebable how enough you are.
Chapter 26
Jacob's point of view
I never thought I would see myself as a father. I wanted children with Renesmee but when Carlisle said it would be a one in a million chance, I kind of pushed that to the back of my mind. Then Sage and Grace came and saved us from our own destruction. So after the miscarriage I thought I would never get to paint a nursery again.
I didn't think one of my brother's would want to harm my family just to get back at me. I killed him and every day I wonder if I did the right thing. Should I have bent the rules and got him help? Did I do the right thing? Is killing a brother ever right?
And my half brother is dead. We were best friends and now I find out he's my brother. Really, actually my brother-my brother that my father cheated on my mother with his mom. I wonder why so many things had to happen? Why were my kids taken? Why was my wife killed? Why did I have to find out about Embry being my half brother after he died?
I shivered, trying to push back those thoughts. I was picking up the twins today. They wanted to go back to school after we came home even though we were wanting them home schooled. They had a lot to catch up but they made it. They still wake up screaming. We still wake up clutching each other. We weren't okay but we were getting through.
It seemed weird that we were doing another nursery. In a few months Sage and Grace would have a little sister. Another daughter so I can run off their boyfriends. Sage and I are outnumbered. I wonder if we can try one more time just for a boy. I don't know if too many women in one house is a good thing. I might actually get that man cave Nessie keeps telling me no to.
"Daddy!" I heard the twins shout as they ran to me. I easily opened my arms for them to run in. "We missed you!"
I smiled, kissing their foreheads. Even though they're now scared of wolves, they think I'm the only good one. They think I can still rope the moon even when I killed somebody. "I missed you too." I told them. "How was school?"
They turned silent. "I thought you weren't coming to get us." I heard Grace mumble, playing with the strap on her backpack.
"Yeah, me too." My son agreed.
Nessie warned me about this but I was too stupid to listen. I've finally got my Masters and it still hasn't made me any smarter. I swore I would be different. I guess Nessie's going to have to start drawing it out with a bigger, brighter marker.
"I have a feeling this is more than me forgetting you." I told them. "I would never forget the two of you. Now I want to see smiles. We've got to get your sister's room together. You expect her to come into this world with no awesome room?"
They giggled, shaking their heads. There was more to that story but I would take them smiling now. I saw the fear that was in their eyes. I vowed that they would never have to go through that again. Everything would be different. Nessie and I would work together to be better parents. We were going to work on our relationship. Because our family was worth fighting for.
"Daddy?" I heard Sage ask as I pulled onto the road. "You think Addie will like us?"
Addie…short for Addalay Melena Black. We wanted the twins to pick out the names this time. Grace picked out Addalay, Sage picked out Melena, and Black was just a name that had to go on there. Nessie and I loved it so it stuck. Addalay Melena Black.
"Are you kidding? She's going to love the two of you! Who wouldn't?" I told them.
"Liam said we would be a good brother and sister." Grace piped in.
I tried to hide my wince. The son we couldn't have. Grace told us all about it. If he was born then Nessie would be dead. The could of, should of, would of. It was painful enough already that she died whilst carrying Addie. It was a heavy reminder that both Nessie and Grace died. We were worried if things would be different. Trust me, they were.
"I know you two will be." I said, ready to get off the subject. "So now that we're getting another baby, doesn't that mean we can lay off the puppy wish now?"
Grace thought about it. "Maybe. You're close enough for right now."
I'm a wolf. Not a puppy. A messed up wolf but close enough.
"It would be a bad idea anyway with most of our family having at least some vampire in them." Sage told his sister. The kid had a point. "Yes, Gracie, that includes us."
"So. I hate blood."
"They why were you complaining about being thirsty earlier today?"
That comment caught my attention. Sage wanting blood was completely normal. If Nessie or I can't take him hunting, he drinks donated blood. Now that Nessie was bigger and craving human blood, Carlisle kept us stocked so it meant Sage won out on that too. But Grace on the other hand…well, she is one quarter vampire.
Grace saw my look. "Fine! Yes! My throat hurts but that doesn't mean I'm going to bite into some cute animal. Ew!" she stated, scrunching up her nose.
"Momma has the human blood."
I couldn't ignore Grace subconsciously licking her lips. Usually we'll make them drink animal blood but since we have a stock pile in our fridge, Nessie spoils them. I thought it was a bad idea. They'll get to liking it more than the human blood. I even worried about Nessie. She's drinking it more than she has in years. When she was younger it took her forever to wean her off of the human blood. I know she was a grown woman but I worry about her.
"How about we go hunting after you do your homework. Or do you want to go trick-or-treating?"
Sage shook his head. "No. We don't want to do that this year. Plus, I want donated blood." He told me.
"Yeah, me too." Grace said.
I was going to have to tell them no. I hated doing that. "You really don't need to be drinking too much of that." I told them. "Animal blood is just as good."
"Not really when you've seen Bambi a thousand times." Grace mumbled. "And do you think Momma got us candy? Kind of like a substitute for not going trick-or-treating."
"You always want candy, Grace." Sage said with what sounded like an eye roll.
"And you don't?"
I smiled and shook my head. "Knowing your momma, she probably bought three times as much." I answered. Nessie going grocery shopping while pregnant was a dangerous thing.
~~~~~~ Forever ~~~~~~
"Momma! We're home!" the twins announced, running through the house. Good thing nobody had the idea of sneaking up on her.
I followed them to the kitchen where they were chattering away to Nessie about their day. She was knelt on the floor, listening to every detail. Her curls were wet and she was in her robe, showing that she just got out of the shower. Her hand was on her stomach, smiling. She was so beautiful and I almost lost her. How can I lose something I've waited for my whole life.
"Momma?" Sage asked.
"Yes, my love?" she answered, smiling.
"Can we have some blood?" Grace asked. Nessie gave a shocked look at our daughter. "Please?"
Nessie looked up at me. She was going to give in because she was about to get some. "I'm taking them hunting."
"But if that's what they want-"
"And what happens when we need to wean them off of it?" I thought back. "Remember with you."
"They're different than me."
"Renesmee-"
"Daddy said he wants to take you two hunting." She said to our twins.
"But we want the human blood."
She put her hands on their cheeks. "Can you two go hunting? Please? It's not a good thing to keep drinking human blood. You wouldn't want to drink from your friends would you?"
The twins looked down, mumbling no. Grace looked at her mother's stomach, bending down to kiss it. "How's Addalay-Addie-or whatever." She asked.
"Well, she obviously missed her brother and sister. Do you want to feel her? She's kicking right now?" They brought their hands on Nessie's stomach. She smiled, looking up at me. "What about you? I'm sure she missed her daddy too. I know she's sick of me."
I bent down and touched my wife's bloated stomach, feeling my daughter kick, and marveling at my family. The family I almost lost so many months ago. The war still wasn't over yet. There was still danger out there that I had no idea how I could control. There was decisions that had to be made that I knew would affect my family in the end. I'm a murderer. My kids are going to find out someday that I killed somebody in my pack. They might not understand that he broke our number one law. I didn't understand it myself.
Nessie looked up at me, saying, "We need to talk" she showed me.
Oh, boy. What did I do now?
"Sage, Grace, can you give me a minute with your father?" she asked our twins.
"Uh-oh. Is Daddy in trouble?" Grace asked, twirling a strand of her hair.
"What's new." I heard my son say.
Oh, gee…thanks. "Hey! Why do I always get the blame, huh?"
I bent down and attacked them with tickling. They busted out into giggles as they squirmed, trying to block and protect themselves.
"Okay. Okay. I think they've had enough." I heard my Renesmee step in and say.
I looked at Nessie and gave her a mischievous grin, hearing the twins mumble something about escaping and running off. I stalked over to Nessie, watching her take a step back. She wants to play this game then so be it. I'll win in the end.
"Jake…if you're doing what you were doing to the twins then just forget it." Nessie said, backing into the counter top.
I took one step and tripped, falling face first into the floor. Loss of motor skills, Ladies and Gents. All due to the crap that has happen in the past years and recently. Carlisle said something was bound to happen since I didn't become a vegetable. I couldn't be stupid anymore. But that didn't mean it was all happy go lucky when Renesmee found out I was keeping it from her with no intentions of telling her either. Never mess with a pregnant woman. It'll be one of your worst mistakes you'll make, and I've made plenty of mistakes so listen to me. Actually…scratch that. Just screw up and learn. I'm the worst teacher possible.
"Jake! Oh my God! Are you okay?" Nessie said as she rushed up to me.
No. I really need to phase right now.
I raised up and looked at her, moving to a sitting position. My beautiful, sexy, pregnant wife…She wasn't as big as she was with the twins but she still looked pretty…well, pregnant. That didn't mean she wasn't sexy. Nothing could take away from that.
"I'm fine." I insisted, waving her hands away. "Will you quit? The twins will hear us." I stated afterwards.
"But-"
"But nothing. Now shut up and let me do what you thought I was going to do-which was wrong by the way."
She smirked when I brought her into my embrace and pressed my lips to hers. I felt her smile against my lips when I tried to push it a little bit further. Only we were both interrupted by somebody kicking furiously. So we both pulled away, laughing. Nessie placed her hands on her very showing stomach and I followed suit. I felt Addie go at it big time, obviously jealous she wasn't getting some of the attention. Either that or telling her parents to stop acting like teenagers.
"Are you jealous, my love?" Nessie asked, looking down at her stomach.
"Hey, my other little princess." I whispered to her stomach, placing a kiss on it. "I know two kids who are excited to see you. So to make your big brother and big sister happy, you might need to hurry up with coming-"
"No, no, no." Nessie interrupted, putting her hand over my mouth. "No, Addie, take your time with coming here. December is still a long time away-Jacob, if you lick my hand, I swear I will slap you."
I put my tongue back in my mouth and she took her hand away. I helped her up and she took my hand, making our way up to the stairs. She leaned her head against my arm, making me bend down and kiss her crown of bronze curls.
"How do you think they'll do with Addie, Jake?" Renesmee asked all of a sudden.
I looked at her. "They seem excited so-"
"But that doesn't mean anything. They've been our only center of our worlds for seven years, and now there's somebody else coming in. They don't expect the late nights and early morning, or that we're going to have to give her special attention. I just wonder what goes through their little heads sometimes."
Well, why don't you read their minds? Wait. She hates doing that on them. But I've wondered the same thing. "They'll still be the center of our world. Just our center is going to be one member bigger. Neither of us believe in favorites; but Sage is still a momma's boy and Grace is a daddy's girl-and undoubtedly, Addalay will be too. We love them equally. We wouldn't save one without trying to save the other two, right?" She nodded. "They don't have a favorite parent."
She gave a wet scoff as I wiped her tears. "Of course they do. You give them everything they want. You're the one that says yes while I'm trying to tell them no." she said, poking her finger in my chest. "But we do need to sit down and talk to them about it. Again. At least just to make sure they understand."
"Anything you say, dear." I droned, wrapping my arms around her chest.
She patted my arm. "I've taught you so well."
~~~~~~ Forever ~~~~~~
"Okay. Drill that screw right where it's at. Right…perfect~ You're a natural at this, bud." I told my son, ruffling his curls. Me and him decided to put the crib together while Nessie and Grace were finishing up the paint. Just some father and son time.
"I want to try!" Grace exclaimed, dropping her brush.
"And who's going to help me? We have just this bit left to pain?" Nessie said. I've got to say, she looked weird yet hot in overalls.
"Uh…tough love?" Grace suggested. I looked down, trying to hide my laugh, only to see Sage roll his eyes.
"Or how about a break?" I suggested. Somebody had to do it or Nessie was going to push herself. Carlisle warned her to take it easy due this being a risky pregnancy too. We didn't know how well her body would be able to accommodate to the baby. But me and Nessie wanted to stay positive this time. The twins were so why not us?
"A break sounds wonderful right now?" my wife huffed, grabbing four bottles of water and handed them to the three of us. I gave her a look. "What?"
"Sit." I ordered.
I helped her down even though she swatted me away. It was a dead giveaway that she was tired by the way she sat down with a exhausted huff. She rubbed her lower back, twisting and turning. Giving her the I told you so look, I started rubbing small circles in her back. She glared at me but eventually relaxed, sighing.
"Could we talk to you about something, my loves?" Nessie asked the twins, glancing at me. Oh, so I guess we were going to have that talk right now.
"Sure." They both said.
I never thought I would actually have this conversation. Then again I didn't think I would marry the daughter of the girl I thought I loved and start a family with her. I've never really seen myself as a dad before-not until I started dating Nessie. I wanted a family with her but I knew my chances were slim. And then she left, and then we got back together, and then the twins were born. I didn't think we would make our relationship work but we are. It's an on going process but we're improving. I realize I fall more in love with her each day. We get up earlier than the twins and sit and talk. It was the right thing to. It became my favorite thing to do in the morning.
Now I had my son in my lap, leaning against my chest, and my daughter halfway sitting on my wife's lap with her legs propped up on me. My prince, my princess, and my queen-who of course was carrying my other littler princess. I've come so close to losing all four of them. I didn't want to take what I have for granted anymore.
"You know that just because a new baby is coming into the picture that doesn't mean we won't forget about you two. We're still going to love you with all our hearts. Not one ounce less. You two, and Addie, are the center of our world. Don't you ever forget that, okay?" she told them.
"We know." Sage and Grace both said.
"And you know that you're going to have to show Addalay how the Black family works, right?" I told my kids.
They giggled. "So now we've got a little sister does that mean I can get a puppy?" Grace asked.
I laughed while Nessie just rubbed her throat. Sage was the one that spoke up, saying, "Gracie." He huffed.
A dog with a bunch of vampire? That's a really bad idea. I'm lucky to still be around. I may be the closet thing to a puppy they may get.
"No, sweetheart. Daddy is going to be the closest thing you'll get." Renesmee answered, brushing hair out of Grace's face.
I gave her a look. "You're very funny." I deadpanned.
"I'll be here all night." She smirked.
She better be.
"Woof, woof." Sage let out, sounding like a dog. Great…now my son was mimicking me.
Grace let out a howl and Sage soon joined in. I thought it was funny until my original fear came and demanded attention in my head. I didn't want them to phase. Sage, Grace, nor Addie. I didn't want them to be bound by that and live in that type of danger. I didn't want them to be in something that deep. Even though I've decided to pull away from the pack for now, I was still bound no matter what. I had my loyalties and that was one of them. No matter what, I can't get away from it. You can't have a life without it interrupting it. I can never fully be Nessie's because I'm also the pack's too. I didn't want my kids to go through that pain.
"See what you got started?" I told my wife as we got back to work.
"Hey. I didn't start anything. I'm innocent."
Yeah, until proven guilty.
My phone buzzed and I checked to see who it was. Dad. My hand hovered over that green button but I couldn't press it. So I hit decline. He wanted me and Rachel to go on and act like it was okay. I couldn't. If it was okay then why did he cheat on a mother I barely remember?
~~~~~~ Forever ~~~~~~
I slept restless that night. I shouldn't be. I had my family sleeping with me and that was all I needed. Then why couldn't I go sleep?
So I lay awake, listening to my family sleep. What do I do? Do I form an alliance with every freaking vampire there is? The Cullens…I kind of had to. I don't trust ever freaking vampire though! Blame the freaking vampire idiots who took my kids.
Do I speak to my father? As of right now neither of his kids are speaking to him. He should have thought of that when he cheated on Mom. That changed things big time Things that I was scared of what the changes are.
No. I don't need to worry about that. I have a family to worry about. Even though I have no clue what to do.
I turned and paid attention to Sage and Grace. They slept peacefully for what seemed to be the first time in months. They refused to sleep by themselves and Nessie and I didn't want them to. In the beginning, after we repaired our home, Sage and Grace woke up screaming every night. Nessie and I would stumble through the hallway, half asleep, and feel as if we were never fast enough. So we didn't object when they fell asleep right between us. For us, it just brought back sweet memories.
I bent down and kissed them both. I don't know what I would do if I lost Nessie and them. I would have lost everything. I wanted the who world and I didn't know how dangerous that want was until I almost lost it all. Now I'm taking baby steps.
"I'm sorry I let it happen to you." I whispered to them.
Something changed suddenly. I had no clue if it was mine or Nessie's change in breathing, but it made me get up and swiftly move to her side, kneeling down next to her. She started moaning, tossing her head back and forth, gripping the sheets, and mumbling in her sleep. She was about to wake up the twins.
I swore slightly when my hands froze just above her body. I tried to move them but all I got out of it was a quiver, not willing to open. Damn it! Really?! You've got to be kidding me!
I stretched my hands. They wouldn't stop shaking but I couldn't help that and neither could Grace. (Her shield didn't help the fact that my body doesn't work half the time.) But I could make my own body work! This was ridiculous!
"Nessie…Nessie, baby, wake up." I whispered, shaking her slightly, my body finally able to obey my commands.
She opened her eyes with a gasp. She breathed heavy, her hand trailing from her swollen belly to her chest. Right where that dammed hole should be. Right where Finn murdered her. Right where there is a scare there. (Which is weird because she never scares but I gave up trying to understand that moment and make sense of it.) She still went back to that moment like I did every time she closed her eyes.
"Jake?" I heard her ask in a thick voice.
I brought her in my arms. "It's okay." I soothed. "It was just a dream."
I could feel her tears on my chest. She shook her head. "It wasn't just a dream. It happened."
Trust me, I know. I was there. "It's over with now."
"No, it's not. For now maybe, but-"
"But for now we're safe."
She bit her lip, making me want to kiss her so much. "Yeah, I guess so. I wished we knew how long though."
Me and her both.
I sat there and held her while she played with my hair. She made comments about how I needed a haircut and a shave. Yeah, yeah. I'll get around to it.
"I talked to your dad; and what are you doing up?" she showed me after a while.
"I couldn't sleep." Wait. She talked to my dad. "You did? What did he want?"
She shrugged. "To see how me and you were doing; to see how Sage and Grace are doing; and to check up on Miss Addalay." She placed her hand on her stomach, rubbing it. "He asked if we wouldn't mind if he was here when she was born."
Of course he would want to come around our anniversary. "What did you tell him?"
"The obvious. He is welcome here anytime-and don't give me that look, Jacob Black. That is their grandfather. I know you aren't on speaking terms, but you're going to have to get over it. They haven't seen Billy in months. They…they already lost one. Don't make them lose another." She said sternly as if I was one of the twins.
I could have said that she needed to see her mother but then again I told her mother to stay away from my wife and children if she was going to blame them. So with putting my finger underneath her chin I brought her lips to mine. That was the most polite way I could tell her to shut up and drop it without brining her to tears.
I didn't know how long we kissed until she pulled away, looking at the twins. She projected to me at how they were actually getting sleep and so were we. Well, not now at least and we won't be in a few more months. Pretty soon we'll be getting up at all hours of the night taking care of a newborn. What were we getting ourselves into?
I laid back down and almost fell back asleep when I felt a poke in my chest. "Jake?" I heard my wife ask.
"Hmm?"
"Could you do me one tiny favor?" she asked me.
I am not sleeping on the chaise again. I had a crick in my neck for a week. I'll take a guest room. "I need to know what it is before I say yes." I told her.
"Could you fix me some ice cream with peanut butter and M&Ms. Oh! And some blood…please?"
I peeked my eyes open at her. She smiled slightly, a blush forming on her cheeks, and her chocolate eyes looking innocently. She was so sexy. The other stuff, sure. The blood… I feared she would start preferring that over animal blood. Then I remind myself that Renesmee is a grown woman and I have to trust her.
"Cravings?"
"Yes. Please. I'll love you forever."
I was already up. "Really? It's that easy?"
"No, not really."
I poked her in her side, stealing another kiss. "You better love me longer than forever, woman."
I felt a pillow hit the back of my head. I turned to see Renesmee smiling mischievously at me. Did she forget that she has our kids sleeping in the same bed? Good thing they were out like a light.
She blew me a kiss, making me swallow hard and try to hide my goofy smile. She's killing me and she knows it. "Even when you drive me crazy, I will. Now go get what I want. I don't want my baby having a little lizard tongue."
I smiled, heading downstairs. I may not be the richest man in the world material wise but I was in my heart. I had all I needed. I didn't realize until now that I already had the world and everything with it. To me, I was the richest and the happiest man alive. My life may not be ordinary but I wouldn't like it if it was. I loved my beautiful family and my weird life.