Law results tomorrow....eeeppp!! *panic panic panic!*

I'm not being pompous or anything but I worked my butt off for that and I kinda want an A or a B (I was a C student at high school, but those exams were taken when I was in my ill year so I think that's pretty good with no revision, on oxygen and 3 month off school then diving head first for my GCSE's when I was let out of hospital even though i wasn't technically mean to be...yes it is like prison after that long hah!)

But well...I'll end up failing or only just passing with an E, though like I said I want a freakin B at least!! Then I will be ecstatic. I think I'm going to open the letter and if I see D or less I'm going to cry now my hopes are up, why did I go and do that?! My motto is always think negative then you will never be disappointed! GRRRR!! *slaps self!*

Oh well...couldn't have tried harder that's for sure! Wish me luck... *bites nails!*

Side kick-Bia1007

Beta- Eggylaine

All I see, all I need

Today was the third day of Sam sitting up in bed, catching up on much needed sleep and downing throat soothers like there was no tomorrow. Because of his sore throat, clammy forehead and stuffy nose, Dean felt so bad for the miserable boy he didn't even have the heart to say I told you so. Speaking of the older kid, he was running around like a headless chicken after Sam and looked all too happy to be. Whatever Sammy wanted, Sammy got, whether it was a new box of tissues or the remote control for the TV Dean had lifted from the bedroom downstairs and placed on the bedside cabinet, mostly for Sam's benefit, not that he didn't enjoy watching a few cartoons through the day while he avoided John and Mary.

Sam was more asleep than he was awake but that didn't stop Dean from entertaining him in the few hour intervals Sam's eyes were open. He didn't really want to, and he was sure it wasn't really resting, but Sam had managed to talk Dean into bringing up his work books so he could help while he had the few days off his parents ordered. The young boy asked what would happen about school work but he was told 'everything's sorted out honey, don't worry about school or Mr. Cox okay?' So he gladly left well enough alone.

"Alright, that's an hour, back to sleep," Dean ordered, taking his science books from the bed and piling them up neatly as Sam shuffled down the covers and laid his head on the pillow. "Night," Dean said casually as he closed the curtains and left the room for the kid to sleep in peace. Little did Sam know, whenever he dropped off Dean snuck back in to keep an eye out for nightmares and left when Sam stirred awake, coming in when he knew Sam was awake saying 'hey you're up,' like he didn't already know.

"Night Dean," Sam waved off, still surprised at how sleepy he was 3 days later.

As usual, Dean took his place on the floor outside Sam's room and waited.

"Dean? Kiddo, can I talk to you?" he heard John ask from what sounded like the middle of the steps.

Dean didn't reply hoping he would be forgotten about...unfortunately he heard John come further up the steps and lowered his head when he knew the man was walking in front of him.

"Dean?" he asked carefully, this was probably the most he had seen of Dean all week.

He lifted his head and looked so young to John.

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

Dean shook his head, then nodded his head towards Sam's door.

"Mary can watch him, 15 minutes that's all I'm asking, please?" John pleaded.

Dean nodded, knowing he wasn't going to get out of it, he had put it off for long enough, he was a little surprised when John helped him to stand and smiled as they went downstairs, he followed the man as he left the house out the back door to the yard he had cleaned not long ago.

John sat down in the middle of the garden and Dean did the same, he was confused but what else was he supposed to do?

"So...you doing okay kid?" John asked casually.

Dean nodded.

"You wanna talk about what happened last week?"

Dean shook his head.

"Okay, we don't have to talk about that but...me and Mary have been talking and we-"

Dean knew this was coming, he wanted to say something, 'sorry I failed again, sorry I messed up my second chance as royally as I did the first, sorry for what I've done to Sam, for not being enough, not doing enough, sorry for my screwed up life, thanks for trying...' but he couldn't even pull up the dignity to do that. He just ended up crying and not being able to do a damn thing to stop it because it caught him so off guard.

'What the hell did I say?!'

"Hey, hey Dean, oh god...I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you, hey come here," John cooed pulling the kid into his arms and was taken off guard when the cries didn't stop. "Alright, alright...it's okay, I'm sorry, it's okay kiddo, I gotcha...sshhh, I'm sorry..."

"P-plee-please...d-don't sen-send me 'way...." Dean cried, holdingonto the front of John shirt with his right hand.

"Hey, take a breath; we never said anything about sending you away. It's okay bud, sshh, I'm sorry." John rubbed the kid's back and rocked him a little thinking he had gotten his answer to what he planned on asking...but he had to be sure. "But...I need to ask...do you wanna go live with another family?"

Dean tried to pull away but John held him tight to his chest and kept his hands down until Dean stopped struggling.

"Dean? Do you want to try living with people that might be able to help you better than we can? Either answer, we'll support you in any way we can, do you wanna leave? Yes or no?"

Dean cried a little more, sniffles mostly, until he finally shook his head.

"N-no...please?"

"Okay, okay if that's what you want then you can stay here for as long as you like, okay bud?"

"Y-yeah...sorry..." Dean cleared his throat and started to sit up, run to the bathroom to stop this shame...something!

"Nothing to be sorry for okay? You don't ever have to be sorry for this stuff you got me?"

Dean nodded into the man's chest, giving up on leaving, John clearly wasn't letting him, but he knew it was in a good way, he didn't feel threatened, he felt like he could sit here in the middle of the grass in John's arms and just not care.

"Okay, if we're gonna do this, I have a proposition for you."

Dean lifted his head to the man's eyes to ask what it was and frowned when a wrapper less tin came into view.

"Okay, this is gonna be your swear box."

Dean huffed in misery when he saw the coin sized hole in the top.

"Now wait a second," John said, firm but fatherly when he heard Dean huff, he grabbed the other tin he had been hiding and placed it next to Dean's. "This is my yelling box, whenever I yell or do something you kids think is out of line, I'll put $10 in here, and when you swear, I'll take a dollar out and put it in your box."

"How's that fair?" Dean asked thinking it was kinda funny actually.

"Well, at the end of the month you kids get to spend my money on video games, but your money will go to John's Winchester's golf club fund. I've been wanting to save up for years and I think this way, everybody wins."

"What if I don't swear?"

"Then you get more money for your video game fund."

"What if you don't yell and I swear?"

"Well then...I'll just have to..."

"This is really confusing and doesn't make any sense," Dean stated trying to hide his smirk.

"Okay fine my plan has some flaws but it's a good start right?"

Dean laughed...actually laughed...really, 'deep in his belly, I don't give a crap who's listening cos I wanna damn laugh' laugh!

After he had forced himself to stop he looked over at John, the man was smiling at him, it was kind of a weird smile he didn't know what to make of.

"Sorry that's just...I think that's the first time I've ever heard you laugh..." John gasped out when he realised he was staring.

Dean lowered his head once again, he didn't realise he was that dead.

"Dean?" John asked carefully when he realised he had upset the kid again. "You want me to put a tenner in my box?"

Dean started to laugh again shaking his head.

"No it's cool...thanks for...everything."

"You're welcome, now, got the awkward stuff out the way, how's your back?"

"S'fine."

"Really?"

Dean nodded, trying to convince the man when in actual fact they both knew his back was still bugging him.

"We can go get it checked out of you want?"

"No, it's fine, I'll deal with it like I've done everything else, it's fine."

"Dean, you're just a kid, you shouldn't have to deal with things, that's mine and Mary's job, so let me take a look and I'll decide if it's something that needs to be dealt with."

Dean huffed, sitting up and leaning forward as John lifted his top and took a look.

"Well, doesn't look like anything wrong, how bad is it bothering you?"

"It's not really, just get this weird stinging thing up my back for a second a few times a day, then it goes away and I feel fine...honest."

"Okay, well if it does start to hurt like before then you tell me okay? I mean it young man, or you're grounded again."

Dean chuckled a little more, he didn't know why he was so giggly today but he was.

"What?" John asked with a well disguised grin.

"Nothing...it's just kinda weird being warned with grounding and not getting my balls hacked off or something."

John gasped, his uncle really said that to him to make him behave?! But Dean seemed to think it was kinda funny.

"I might be pushing this...foster son and foster father bonding but, can you tell me?"

"N-no...I'm sorry...I-I can't...I just...it's...I'm not...."

"Hey, I said I won't be mad and I'm not, I promise, I would never lay a hand on you Dean, just relax okay, if you can't tell me that's fine."

Dean looked up from picking the grass and saw John's eyes were soft...loving...caring...there for him.

"I don't really know what I'm supposed to do....this is just really confusing and then I heard you and Mary talking the other day about going to another family and I just don't really know what to do, I thought if I looked after Sam well enough you wouldn't send me away but-"

"Whoa whoa hold up, we're not sending you away Dean, for the last time that ball is in your court...but you gotta understand, people like us...families like us..."

"You mean normal families?" Dean asked when it seemed John couldn't find the right words.

"Well, what's normal anyway? Okay...typical families like us, we might seem fine and dandy and everything's perfect but to be honest, we get scared, we get hurt, we get confused and angry and guilty and we do the wrong things sometimes just like everybody else. So when Mary and I were talking, we just got confused I guess and we wanna do the right thing for everyone, but sometimes it doesn't pan out that way and it goes sour...like Sammy...God I didn't even notice and..."

"He thinks you're disappointed in him," Dean blurted out, turning an awful shade of white when he realized what he had done.

"H-he what?"

"I'm...I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything-" Dean stood and got ready to run for it but John grabbed his shoulders and stopped him, he was about to explain when he heard a choking sob and scream from the upstairs room they could see from the garden. Dean and John both ran inside the house and up the steps passing Mary on the way, running twice as fast as she was.

Dean got to the room first and rushed to the bed when he saw Sam crying and tangle in the sheets.

"Hey, hey Sam, look at me, Sammy look at me," Dean rushed placing his hands on either side of the kid's face.

"Dee...keeps happening...always keeps happening..."

"Okay, it's okay, I'm fine Sam I swear," Dean cooed making tears rush to John's eyes at the sight, from his place by the door he watched Dean gently comfort his little boy and was proud at the kid for being there for Sam like no one else had before. He saw Dean pick up a book from the floor and knew these kids knew each other like the back of their hands now. He left the room quietly knowing everything was taken care of. "Okay Sammy, it's okay, I gotcha..." Dean got under the covers and pulled Sam to his chest, he wrapped one arm around him and opened the book with the other.

"The Lord of the Rings- The Breaking of the Fellowship," he read aloud trying to ignore the cries as they died down into sniffles, hoping a little of the story would get Sam back to sleep. "It is no good trying to escape you. But I'm glad, Sam. I cannot tell you how glad. Come along! It is plain that we were meant to go together. We will go, and may the others find a safe road!" Dean smiled when he saw Sam was fast on again. "Night Sammy," he whispered shuffling down the bed and closed his eyes.

SPN

"Dean? Hey Dean?"

"Wha...what? You okay?" Dean asked rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he looked down at the kid still laid on him.

"Y-yeah...thanks, I'm sorry, I thought you were...when I woke up and you didn't come in I thought...and then I..."

"Yeah, sorry I was outside talking with your dad, I'm really sorry."

"What were you talking about?"

"Just...stuff, looks like I'm staying here permanently."

"Really?" Sam grinned, sitting up, almost hitting Dean with his elbow in his excitement.

"Yep."

"What are you gonna do about-? You know..."

"Not sure yet...but like you keep saying, I can't exactly support myself at 14 years old...I guess I'll just have to wait till I'm older and then, who knows?"

"Hey Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we go downstairs today, do something? I'm bored of sleeping."

"Uh...sure, but don't do too much, if you pass out I'm chaining you to your pillow."

"Yes boss, can we go outside?" Sam asked as they both rolled out of bed and Dean went to open the curtains.

"Sure...your parents are already out there." Sam smiled once again as they walked from the room and down the steps. "Oh and Sam?"

"Yeah?" the kid turned while they were just by the back door.

"I think it's time you told me what happened when you passed out, I've been wanting to know who's ass to kick for days now."

"Oh, no one Dean, I just kinda fell asleep at my desk again and then I woke up, and then I think I stood up to go tell my teacher not to call my parents...and then everything went black, next thing I know I'm waking up and you're there. Man it's gonna be so embarrassing going back to school."

"Yeah well...not as embarrassing as it will be for me."

"What do you mean?"

"Somebody's gotta look out for you when you go back next week."

"You mean-?" Sam didn't even have to finish the question as Dean nodded with a slight smile.

"Yeah, I 'mean'," Dean joked.

"You want me to tell my parents?" Sam asked with a face splitting grin, so grateful and really...proud? If that was the right word, Dean was going to school, finally willing to go to school...for him?!

"No, I can tell them for myself, thanks Sammy."

They both grinned, Sam walked with a slight hop in his step as they walked out the back door and went to go sit on the patio with Mary and John.

They walked rather strangely up to the adults and Dean started fidgeting when no words came out, his head dropped to the floor and he cursed himself for being such a weakling, he was just talking...what was so hard and scary about that? Oh...right, the last time he had one of these conversations with a certain someone, he ended up getting beaten with a belt that almost cut through his spine...so, no sweat.

Sam nudged Dean gently, trying to offer support...

"Um...Mr and Mrs Winchester?"

"Mary."

"John,"they both corrected with a smile.

"Um...can I...can I...I want to..."

"You fucking little prick, think you need school where you headin'?! You think you even got the brains to be in kindergarten?! Shut the fuck up, get your pussy bleeding ass off my floor and get on with cleaning the guns or I'll make Mrs Trunchbull's choky seem like a beauty paler compared to what I'll do to you!"

"Dean sweetie?"

"PleasecanIgotoschoolifIdon'tfuckup?!"

"What was that Dean?" John asked carefully, but firm when he heard an obvious curse.

"Um....can I...am I allowed to go to school?"

TBC...

You've seen Matilda with Mrs Trunchbull right?

*panic panic panic!*

Oh and I'm also having this weird faze where I really want Genevieve's hair colour *see avatar! It's it pretty! I would kill for her hair...and other things she has...namely Jared!* but one problem, I have red hair, and well...mothers tend to be very protective of that, especially mine so she would kill me if I dyed it darker, I do have blonde highlights though, I had brown/blonde streaks in once and I cried for weeks, I hated it! So I am now officially a chicken when it comes to my hair, but that was a different hair dresser, my new one is amazing! I'm thinking of asking her when I go next what she thinks...hhmm...

"Clair? Is there any way I can go darker, get rid of my blonde and do this without my mum noticing or killing me for it?"

"No sweetheart, you mother does have eyes you know."

"Darn..."

Sorry for so much rambling...I'm trying to keep my mind of law...okay, hair, hair, fashion, Gen's pretty hair colour...Gen's husband...Jared's hair...Jared....okay...I'm good now, what was I panicking about again?

Anybody wanna have a talk about fashion to keep my entertained while lunch tomorrow?...I'm too nervous to sleep...hhmm... Jared's hair.....