Super SpongeBob Bros.
Episode 26: Pickles
"Welcome to the Smash Burger. My name is Dark Pit. May I take your order?"
Link thought for a moment. "Hmmm...uhh...oh, I'll have a...no. Maybe...no. Hmmm...I'll have...no. Or maybe..."
"Are you planning on ordering today, sir?"
"I'll have a Smash Burger."
"How original."
"And with extra onions."
"Daring today, aren't we?" Dark Pit took the order to the back window to Pit. "One Smash Burger, extra onions."
"One cryin' Johnny comin' up! First bun, then burger, followed by ketchup, mustard, pickles, extra onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and bun, in that order. One cryin' Johnny! Up!"
"Whatever." Dark Pit took another order and then repeated it through the window. "Twelve Smash Burgers on wheat buns!"
"Bun, burger, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, burger, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, burger, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, burger, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, burger, ketchup, tomato, bun. One dozen cryin' cows on the farm! Up!"
"Thanks, Farmer Brown. It's been a thrill serving you."
"Can I get some extra salt?" Marth asked.
"We're all out."
"Could you check?"
"No." Marth glared at Dark Pit and walked away as a rather big customer stepped up. "Let me guess, Tiny, a small salad?"
"I'll take a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, four by four, animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim."
"We serve food here, sir."
"I got it already, Pittoo." Pit gasped. "Thanatos."
Thanatos pushed Dark Pit out of the way. "Pit. I hear talk you make a mean Smash Burger."
"Yep. I hear talk you're kinda picky."
"Yep."
"Well then...here ya go!" Pit gave Thanatos a burger and he took a bite. "Well, Thanatos, whaddaya think?"
"This is pretty good. Only one thing. You forgot the pickles!"
"No."
"The best there is? I don't think so. You lose!" Thanatos laughed.
"But, the pickles should be right where they always are. I know I put them on!" Pit started to tear apart the burger. "Where are those pickles? Pickles? Pickles? Pickles?"
Thanatos walked over to Mario and threw Dark Pit out of the way again. "I believe you owe me two bucks."
"Two bucks?!"
"Your guarantee." Thanatos pointed to the menu where in small writing was the words "Money Back Guarantee".
"Oh. That. Well, can't we talk about this?"
"No."
"How about a discount on restroom tokens?"
"Afraid not."
"How about a free glass of water? A dozen free glasses of water! I'll even put ice in it!" Thanatos walked out of the restaurant with the money. "No! Come back! Two dollars! Two dollars, no! No!"
"Mr. Mario, I know I put the pickles in that Smash Burger."
"That two bucks is comin' out of your paycheck!"
"Wait! Wait! Wait!" Mario grabbed Pit and threw him into the kitchen.
"Get back to work, we got orders waitin'!"
"I need a Smash Burger." Dark Pit said.
"Okay, I am not gonna blow it this time. Let's see. Bun down. Then ketchup, then mustard, then pickles? No! That's not right! Bun down. Mustard, then ketchup, lettuce, then the pickles? No! Mustard down, bun stuff down d'oh, where's the burger go? Pickles, ketchup, wait! Think! Think! I'm losin' it! Bun down, shoe, mustard, pan, bun...no! Mr. Mario, I am so confused. I can't remember how to do anything."
"Why don't you take the rest of the day off?"
"Oh, no, Mr. Mario. Who will make the Smash Burgers?"
"Oh, don't worry about that. We've got Dark Pit."
"Huh?"
"Mr. Mario is right. I need to get my head straight. Now is it bun, patty, ketchup..." Pit looked up to see that the door wasn't there. "The door! The door! Mr. Mario, the front door is missing!" Mario opened the door a couple feet away. "Oh. Sorry about that, Mr. Mario. This pickle thing has got my head all messed up. I better go on home and rest my brain. Uhh, which way do I live?" Mario pointed down the path. "Of course."
"No, no! Was it bun, burger, bun...Let's see, tomatoes, pickles, bun? No. Bun? No. Bun? No. Shoe? I am so confused! Maybe a good night's sleep will help me get my head on straight."
Later that night, Pit headed over to bed. "Oh...was it mattress, mattress, sheets, pillow, then Pit? Or...D'oh...think, Pit! Oh yeah! It was mattress, Pit, mattress, then sheets, pillow." He then lay down between the two mattresses. "Good night, Mew."
"Meow."
"Aw, this isn't right." Pit then stood up upside down on the bed. "Good night, Mew."
"Meow."
"Wait, this isn't right either." Pit continued to do wrong things all through the night until morning, when the alarm clock rang. "Aww, I almost had it! Alarm clock. D'oh, how do I turn this thing off? Think, think, think, think!"
"Meow."
"Mew!" Pit then took Mew and placed him on top of the alarm clock.
Back at the Smash Burger, black smoke came from the kitchen as Dark Pit put it out with a fire extinguisher. "Burgers are done." Mario looked over at the burnt burgers and groaned in irritation.
"Hey, he burnt my Smash Burger." Falco said.
"He burnt my fries." Zelda added.
"He burnt my shake." Sonic said as the customers started to walk out.
"No! Come back! No! No! Urrgh...I gotta get Pit back!"
"Pit? Pit?" Mario headed inside Pit's house to see that everything was completely out of place. Even the background music was playing in reverse.
Pit then walked in with a pair of underwear on his head. "Mr. Mario, hello. Do you how do?"
"Why you talkin' funny, lad?"
"I anything can't do right since because pickles."
"Nonsense, you'll be back makin' Smash Burgers like your old self in no time!"
"I think don't ready back to go to work, Mr. Mario."
"But you're fine, my boy!" Pit walked right through the kitchen door. "Ohh...uhh, well...maybe not. All we need to do is get your confidence back. So, you can make me more money! I-I-I mean, burgers."
"I how do that?"
"It's like riding a bike. You never forget!" Mario then saw that a bike was being cooked in a pan. "Uhh...I'm gonna help ya!"
"If you learn to make a Smash Burger again, your life will be back in order." Mario said as he placed a mat with ingredients on the floor.
"Mr. Mario, I don't know if I..."
"Take your time." Pit thought for a moment and then picked up a bun, but then put it back down.
"No, no, no, no, no." Pit continued thinking for several days and nights, until something finally came to him. "I got it! I got it! It's all very clear to me now, Mr. Mario!"
"It is?"
"Yes! I finally realize that I can't do it! I can't do it, Mr. Mario! I'm a failure!"
"Don't talk like that!"
"Don't you get it, you cheapskate? I can't make a Double Smash Burger with the works! I can't put a burger on a bun, with lettuce, cheese, onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and top bun together in that order!" Pit looked in his hand and saw that he had done exactly what he said.
"It's time."
Pit and Mario headed back to the Smash Burger. Pit pushed Dark Pit out of the kitchen and put out the burning flames.
"Hey, Pit's back!" A crowd of customers gathered around the restaurant, and rushed inside.
"I hear Pit is back!"
Pit stepped out of the kitchen. "I'm right here, Thanatos."
"I thought I ran you out of town."
"This is where I belong!" Thanatos then gave some kind of growl. "Rawr." The crowd gasped as the two of them glared at each other.
"Give me the regular. And this time, don't forget the pickles.
Pit rushed into the kitchen and came back with a burger in an instant. "I didn't."
Thanatos took the burger and took a bite. "Hmm...Still no pickles! See?" He stuck out his tounge to show the chewed up burger, and everyone groaned in disgust. "You failed again, Pit the Loser!"
"Wait a minute!" Pit grabbed Thanatos's tounge and pulled it out. "Look! He's been hiding the pickles under his tongue the whole time!"
"And there's the pickles from last time too!"
"And there's my car keys!" Zelda added.
"And...there's my ride!" Thanatos then ran out of the restaurant.
"Three cheers for the return of our master fry cook, Pit! Hip hip..."
"Hooray!" Everyone cheered except for Dark Pit, who sounded less enthusiastic.
"Hip hip..."
"Whoop-de-doo."
"Hip hip..."
"Oh, boy."
"And three cheers for the fry cook who took my place when I was gone: Pittoo! Hip hip..."
"Boo!"
"Hip hip..."
"Boo!
"Hip hip..."
"Boo!"
"Hip hip..."
"BOO! YOU STINK!"