Payback, Dude
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto© or characters thereof. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
A/N: So, it has some odd references in here – like how it's almost March, which is a lie – but I wrote this around that time and now that I'm looking at it, I really don't want to go back and make something up. So guess what you guys get to do? That's right, use your imaginations. It's a very useful tool.
Another thing, I'm going to see if I messed up somewhere – I know I did on another chapter – but I reread this before I put it in a document – which was stupid – so I probably won't have the patience to reread it again. Therefore, there might be mistakes that I won't catch. Bear with me. You're all smart – you can figure this stuff out.
Alright, and sorry for my absence. Enjoy.
DMP: -holding camera in front of her face- Okay, so I'm going to get Pein back for what he did to me on Set Up last week. I am so freaking pissed off and even though he's already apologized and blah, blah, I need to get back at him. I will not let this go. So I've asked my new boyfriend – Kakuzu – and my ex and his new boyfriend – Sasori and Deidara – to help me scare Pein bleepless. –turns camera to face them- Say hi, guys.
Kakuzu: Hey.
Sasori and Deidara: -get into the screen with grins- HI!
DMP: -turns the camera back to face her- We're going to have a blast with this. Konan's also in on it but she's out with Pein right now. We've started with Pein's room and moved into the meeting room. By noon today, he will be crying in a little emo corner. Get ready for this Pein. Because I don't go down without a fight.
Kakuzu: -facing camera- Alright. It's all set up. The lights are set to turn off approximately twenty minutes into the meeting and then flicker back on five minutes after that. The light apparition is going to appear about ten minutes after that, giving everyone who isn't in on this time to calm down only to freak out again.
DMP: -turns camera to face her again- Perfect. And what's up with his room? –turns camera to face him-
Kakuzu: There's a machine that I've attached to his ceiling so that in about thirty minutes, all the lights in his room and the surrounding area will go out. I've set it so that there's five minutes for him to investigate and then an, quote, "apparition" will appear. It will be there for all of a minute before suddenly vanishing. Three minutes later, the lights will all turn back on. Not only should this effectively scare Pein, it'll probably scare Konan too.
DMP: Awesome… -turns camera back to her- We're going to head up to my room. Sasori's going to take the camera…-passes the camera over- …And Kakuzu and I are just going to hang out in there for the thirty minutes. My room is two doors down from Pein's room. Will we be affected?
Kakuzu: No but if we have Deidara in the room as well, he can turn off the lights at the designated time.
DMP: Cool, so Deidara will be turning off the power in my room and now we're going to go set up two cameras in Pein's room before he goes in there. –they walk upstairs and into Pein's room where Kakuzu and Deidara put the cameras up in to opposite corners in the room.-
Deidara: Done. They're on so it's recording us now and it'll record Pein and Konan when they get back in, yeah.
Sasori: -spins- Bleep. They're coming up. We've got to get out of here now!
DMP: Bleep. –they run out and get to DMP's room moments before Pein and Konan get upstairs.- Hey guys!
Pein: Why do you have a camera, Sasori?
Sasori: Documenting my life. Maybe I can sue you all for abuse…
Konan: Yeah, okay. Good luck with that.
Sasori: -taps the side of the camera- Evidence…
Pein: Humph…-they go into his room-
Sasori: -turns to face them, turning the camera toward him- According to this, we have approximately 19 minutes before the lights will go off. I'm setting my watch to a low beep so I know when the lights have to go out. Are you listening for it, Dei? –turns camera to face the blonde-
Deidara: -nods- Yeah, I've got my ears open.
DMP: Now we wait. Deidara, you have to stay by the light switch but out of sight so if anyone walks down the hall, they can't see you.
Deidara: -nods again-
DMP: Alright. Now Kakuzu and I just get to hang out for…?
Sasori: About ten minutes. Not bad.
Kakuzu: I can't wait to hear the screaming…
DMP: Shh…
Tobi: -sitting on the floor in his room, staring at the TV screen intently- Wow…They set this up so well. Don't you agree, Zetsu-kun?
Zetsu: -laying on the bed, staring at Tobi- Hmm? Yeah, sure…
Tobi: But, jeez, DMP can really hold a grudge.
Zetsu: Yeah, it's pretty annoying sometimes.
Tobi: Tobi wonders if we'll be able to hear Pein scream if we mute the TV…
Zetsu: Why don't you try it?
Tobi: Okay. –mutes the TV-
Sasori: -turns the camera to face him- We've got less than five minutes before Pein's room "mysteriously becomes haunted". –smiles and then turns it back to face Kakuzu and DMP-
DMP: Time to talk normally. So…What're you doing for my birthday?
Kakuzu: I don't know yet. I've been thinking about it, actually, but I can't decide.
DMP: Oh…Well, what about you Sasori?
Sasori: I don't know. I didn't even start to think about it.
DMP: It's only been a week since we broke up. Shouldn't you have been thinking about it before?
Sasori: Um…Considering that you're birthday's still two and a half months away, I don't think so.
DMP: Good boyfriends start thinking about it way before!
Sasori: DOCUMENTED EVIDENCE!
DMP: Humph…-gives him a glare before turning nicely to Kakuzu- But I'll make exceptions this time.
Kakuzu: Good. I wasn't really looking forward to feeling your wrath anyway. I was going to start thinking about it next month. Whatever I do will need some planning.
DMP: Oh…-looks really happy-
Sasori: -his watch beeps and he quickly turns it off as Deidara flicks the lights off- Bleep. Damn. I almost didn't get it off.
Pein: What the bleep just happened?
DMP: What the crap?
Sasori: Turning on my camera's light…-flicks it on and DMP and Kakuzu are illuminated- Was it necessary to plan this for the night?
DMP: Yes.
Pein: What's going on? –walks in- Why are you still bleeping recording, Sasori?
Sasori: I'm still documenting.
Kakuzu: I don't know what's going on. Our lights just turned off and we were in the middle of talking about something really important.
Pein: Bleep. –walks out hurriedly and checks the room next to him- Bleep. All the lights are off. –storms back into his room-
Sasori: -turns the camera to face him- We've got less than a minute before the light apparition appears…-turns it back to face the hall and walks down, peeking into Pein's room-
Pein: What?
Sasori: Well…I was wondering -
Pein: WHAT THE BLEEP? You saw that, right? That thing right there!
Sasori: What the hell was that?
Pein: I don't know! I wouldn't have asked you if I knew!
Sasori: Sorry! Oh my God…DMP! Kakuzu!
DMP: What?
Kakuzu: What's going on?
Pein: There was something standing right there! –points at the foot of his bed-
Sasori: I bleeping saw it! It was bleeping staring right at me!
Kakuzu: What?
DMP: W…Where's Konan?
Pein: She was on the bed before the thing appeared… -stares at them, frightened-
Sasori: God. This is really weird. You're not messing with us, are you, DMP?
DMP: Why the bleep would I do that? I'm not that bleeping smart!
Kakuzu: What if the thing made Konan disappear…?
Pein: -breathing heavily- Would she be okay?
Kakuzu: I'm not sure. Paranormal isn't something I've studied closely.
-Something moves behind DMP, Kakuzu and Sasori-
Pein: Did you see that?
Sasori: -spins and scans the hallway- No…There's nothing there…
DMP: I'm scared! I want the lights to go back on!
-Lights suddenly turn on-
Kakuzu, Pein and Sasori: -all stare at her-
DMP: Great timing…?
TO BE CONTINUED…
Tobi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! TOBI WANTS TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!
DMP: I'LL KNOCK YOUR HEAD THROUGH A WALL IF YOU DON'T SHUT-UP!
Tobi: Tobi's a good boy…