Rose: February
Four weeks, countless amazingly ostentatious dates and a very satisfied Rose that she had kept her promise to move forward in her life.
It wasn't easy, though.
In fact, she didn't feel happiness.
She could only describe the bland, patterned feeling of her life as satisfaction.
It started the day she'd called Adrian to ask him out again. He'd agreed and they had dinner that very night but Rose couldn't help thinking how she really wasn't interested in Adrian.
"Do I really want to go out with someone who made me feel so bad the first time?"
"You said you'd give him a chance," Lissa made a point of remind her over the phone. "You might end up liking him better the second time around," she suggested hopefully.
"I hope so. If not, I'm giving up on men and I'm switching to the other team," Rose said glumly.
"Please, Rose control your excitement," Lissa said sarcastically. "If everything you said happened to you today is true then I think that should be more incentive to give Adrian the benefit of the doubt."
Rose had to admit she had a point but she didn't admit it aloud.
"The only time I had reason to look forward to this date is when I had to go back to work and spend the day beside Dimitri," she told her cousin.
"Awkward," Lissa said in a singsong voice.
"Definitely. Not to mention Adrian suggested we were going out for steaks so that was a plus to look forward to," Rose shrugged.
"Always base your opinion of a man on how much he spends on your dinner," Lissa laughed dryly.
"What else is there?"
"Rose, he obviously is interested in you or I don't think he would've bothered to agree to go out with you again."
"Maybe," she sighed leaning her head back on the headrest of her seat.
"Shouldn't you have come home to change or something? I didn't see you when you left this morning, what are you wearing?" Lissa asked inquisitively.
"Two coconuts and a g-string," Rose said jokingly.
In serious tone Lissa said, "Rose…really. A guy likes it when it seems like your dressing up for him."
"I'm not trying to come off as easy. Besides, he has to impress me since he screwed up the first time," she reminded Lissa. "Anyways, what I have on is fine."
"Well I guess he should like you more for your winning personality, charming smile and curvaceous body anyway. What you wear shouldn't be that important?"
Rose laughed disbelieving. "Is that so? What are you doing right now?"
In a slightly bashful voice Lissa answered, "Getting dressed up for my date with Christian."
"Why not go in sweats a t-shirt," she asked teasingly. "I thought what you wore didn't matter?"
"Ha, ha, ha."
Rose's laugh faded a moment later, remembering her date that seemed to be coming closer and closer. She'd thought about it all day, doubting herself, wondering what she was doing was the right thing.
" I didn't feel like going home and bothering to change anyway," she said looking away from the clock.
"Well where are you now I thought your date wasn't until seven?"
"Sitting in my car moping outside of his office," Rose admitted.
"There's a way to start a date. On the positive side."
"You're really sarcastic tonight, L," she told her not liking that her cousin seemed to take over Rose's usual sarcastic attitude.
"I'm embodying you," Lissa laughed. "Good luck on your date," she called before hanging up.
Rose stayed in the car until two minutes before she was supposed to meet Adrian outside of his office. She figured the less amount of time she spent actually waiting for Adrian would make the date feel shorter.
They'd agreed to meet out front of his office building since he wasn't completely sure when he'd be done with work. Rose had just arrived staring up at the gigantic, black marble building when Adrian walked out in a nice suit, carrying his coat over his shoulder looking down at his smart phone.
He gave a soft charming smile when he spotted her.
"I wasn't sure if you were serious or not," he admitted standing in front of her so closely she strained her neck looking up at him.
"I was…I mean I am. I just have a few expectations," she attempted to tell him. Before she could speak to clarify her expectations he held up a hand to stop her.
"You expect a better date than the last and it will be," he incorrectly guessed. Before she could tell him that he was wrong he linked their arms and they started briskly walking away toward his car parked on the street, already, Rose feeling overwhelmed and loosing all of her nerve.
Not once, on any of their dates, was she not wondering what it would have been like if Dimitri had treated her the way Adrian had been and then immediately afterward she felt guilty.
Adrian had gone all out, dates in the nicest restaurants, his yatch; She could tell he was trying hard to make up for the disaster that was their initial date.
His attempts ranged from pricey restaurants in parts of the city Rose had never even heard of, beautiful gifts, chocolate, flowers, something she hated because it was reference to her name.
"These are nice," Lissa complimented one day after a bouquet of roses came.
Mia grabbed a hold of the flowers, wearing a disgusted face. "Yeah, if she just won homecoming queen."
Mia did Rose a favor tossing the flowers in the trash.
"Mia!" Lissa had shrieked going for the flowers, pulling them out of the trash and setting them in a vase of water. "I think Adrian's been pretty amazing these past weeks. This was a nice thoughtful gift."
"That is a gift you buy for your mistress you're trying to keep quiet on the side or your dying grandmother," Mia said pointing to the flowers. "What Rose needs is a real gift, a personal gift that makes her feel like a woman," Mia said puffing her chest out.
"Really? And what kind of gift would that be?" Rose asked amused.
"Lingerie or some kind of sex toy."
"Isn't it the man's job to make you feel like a woman? Not a toy," Lissa asked folding her arms.
"It varies depending on who the man is. Like take Ivan for example, he bought me a new pair of fluffy pink handcuff-"
"To replace the old ones?" Rose asked as she and Lissa laughed. "Did they get too rusty?
"No, there was an incident involving me being unable to unlock them from the last two men that had them on because the lubricant wasn't suppose to be put-"
Lissa and Rose both held up their hands to stop her. "Okay! That's enough."
Mia shrugged unfazed by their unwillingness to hear the rest of the story.
"Either way though, Ivan's gift had meaning because he knew who much the last ones meant to me and they're fun for the both of us. It's a better gift than some flowers!"
"Flowers are a sign of how much Rose means to Adrian," Lissa tried to argue. Mia was already shaking her head.
"Cliché and corny."
"Coming from the girl who accepts handcuffs as a meaningful gift," Lissa scoffed.
"What's the last gift Christian bought for you?"
Rose felt her breath intake and saw Lissa's brows rise until she slouched into a pout.
"It's kind of hard to put much thought into a gift when he's trying to keep both me and Jill happy," Lissa muttered. "But the last gift he bought for me was…flowers," she grumbled.
Rose tried to hide her laugh and Mia just outright laughed before sobering.
"You mean he's still meeting Jill for lunch and all that?" She asked actually concerned for her friend wrapping an arm over her shoulders.
"'We're just friends'," she mimicked Christian. "Or my personal favorite, 'If you really love me you'd trust me more.'"
"Oh no he didn't!' Mia gasped pulling back to see if she was serious.
Lissa nodded solemnly. Rose knew that despite the okay weeks she'd been having Lissa's own relationship seemed to be deteriorating.
"What'd you say after he said that?" Mia said intrigued, forgetting about the previous topic entirely.
"I told him I trusted him and that it was Jill I didn't trust."
"I hope you also told him to take those flowers, Jill, and his ideas of love and trust and shove them all up his-"
"Little graphic," Rose warned cutting her off.
"Sorry. I get really emotional when it comes to relationships and how men just SUCK!" She shouted before calming down. In a calmer voice she continued, "This is why the only thing I love when it comes to Ivan and me is our nonexclusive sex based relationship."
"Be careful, I had one of those and it did not end well," Rose muttered. Mia started to go on as if Rose hadn't spoken but instead gave her a pointed look. "That's because you're you and I'm me," she reasoned as if it made perfect sense."
She turned he attention back to Lissa, her arm still around her shoulders.
"Do you see the way Christian is treating you? Maybe you wouldn't be feeling so strongly about him now if you'd read into the crappy flowers he'd given you before. Don't you think Rose deserves an amazingly mind-blowing gift that can be fun for the both of them," she said grinning. "A gift Dimitri would probably buy for you," she said to Rose.
"He probably buys it for Natasha," Lissa mumbled.
"No she's the dominating one in the relationship. She provides the toys and the foreplay," Rose said dryly. She'd managed to avoid even looking at Dimitri for the last few weeks. In fact, it was easy, since the next day and all following after Dimitri told Rose she was needed to really make the rounds and that she would be better needed working in his office, filing. She didn't think it was a coincidence that this transfer had anything to do with their argument the day before.
As easy as it was to avoid Dimitri nowadays, it wasn't as easy to stop thinking about him. She figured her constant thinking of Dimitri before had been quiet because she'd been able to look at him but now the only time she saw him was in the parking lot when they were leaving.
"You're probably right," Mia laughed walking away.
Rose looked at Lissa, staring disgustingly down at the flowers. "Suddenly I look at flowers in a new light," she said tossing the flowers back into the trashcan.
Each time, before a date with Dimitri, Rose sat in front of the vanity mirror in her bedroom waiting for Adrian to pick her up, she focused on the times when she'd once been excited to date and used whatever elated emotions she'd had then to get through her night with Adrian.
She felt flattered that someone had gone all out for her and Rose couldn't lie to herself though, things had been going pretty well that she even spent a few of her lunches with him, going out her way to meet him, trying to completely forget the equally nice lunches she'd shared with Dimitri. Despite trying to convince herself not to compare and contrast the two very different men she couldn't help remembering that her lunches with Dimitri had been simple, less forced. There were days with Adrian where she just wasn't feeling up for conversation but she felt the need to force it.
He'd practically force it out of her.
"Is your dinner alright?"
"Fine," she'd answer simply.
"Is it the wine? The appetizer-"
Rose wasn't one who liked being asked twenty one questions when she was in a particular mood so to get through the rest of the dinner she did what she found herself doing a lot lately, putting on a smile, which seemed like enough to pass for happiness, satisfying Adrian.
It didn't feel like enough for Rose though. There wasn't any heart in or emotion in any of the moments they shared usually sitting across from one another at a table.
It all felt detached and distant…predictable.
And Rose most often found herself thinking about Dimitri.
To force her thoughts away from Dimitri she tried to think of the positives of her relationship with Adrian.
They'd had at least a few things to talk about.
Adrian would spend a few minutes asking her how her day was and when she'd return the question he'd discuss his business and the conversation would go from there to topics about the weather. The part of their evenings that Rose favored the most where when she'd ask questions about what it was like being wealthy and growing up having almost everything he wanted and Adrian seemed to enjoy it because he'd get to give really long and sometimes funny answers that occasionally made Rose laugh.
"Most expensive thing you've bought," she asked one night at dinner.
"This dinner is definitely on the list," he joked gesturing to the seafood and stead dinner in front of them.
She had laughed savoring each bite. She was used to frozen steaks that took less than one minute to cook.
"Well I'll tell you a secret. I wouldn't mind if you too me out fro a dollar burger now and then," she said nibbling on a piece of her meal.
He pretended to be surprised.
"You mean I could've gotten away with McDonald's as our four course meal?"
She laughed, "I was going to tell you but you offered four course meals of foods I'd never heard of. Who am I to deprive you of the opportunity of spoiling me?" She smiled.
He laughed and then grew somber. "Nonsense, impressions mean everything. We'll have the most expensive meals in the world as long as I know I'm leaving you with a good impression of myself."
She was surprised by how serious he'd become about the topic but continue on as a joke to mask her astonishment.
"Well if you feel the need to pleasure me who am I to deny you the opportunity of doing the pleasing."
He gave a slight smile and continued eating. She sipped her wine, realizing that any matters of money and making impressions were important to Adrian and joking about it was nonnegotiable.
"So you never answered," she went on. "The most expensive thing you've bought?"
"My private plane," he answered without thinking.
"Does it at least come in handy, I mean do you use it often," Rose laughed.
"Whenever I need to go out of town for work related business or vacation which is never so…no it has yet to come in handy," he chuckled.
"Why spend the money on it then?" Rose asks curious.
"My standing as a businessman," he answered again without taking a moment to think.
Impressions, Rose thought.
She nodded, nothing more needing having been said.