"Do better in high school so that you can beat your brothers," Mom tells me.
I don't care if I beat my brothers.
"I'll get a scholarship for a writing major," I answer anyway. Mom nods proudly.
I just want to do well. Why do I have to be compared?
I want to do well as I am.
Without the need of seeing who's doing better than whom.
Why does my mother insist on comparing us to each other?
"Your brother completed the program, and you dropped out," she said, shaking her head in disappointment. "A waste of my money!"
You forced me to take an educational program. You made me drop out.
"Your brother got all A's and you have D's and F's!"
Not true. I only received D's and F's on my tests. I still managed to pull out a C- at the end.
"Why are you such a failure? You're a waste of my time!"
I don't know.
"I should have gotten an abortion!"
That's a great thing to tell a child.
"Why can't you be as good as your brothers?"
-sigh- Back to comparing, I see.
I told you before.
I don't want to be compared to anybody.
Not my brothers, not my cousins, and certainly not my friends.
Why can't I do things on my accord, and not on the will of my mother?
You know, it's really irritating.
"I compare you to them so that you can do better," you explained.
That's good. But did you ever think
that instead of making me better,
it made me worse?
With each word you spat at me,
a dagger pierces the heart with venom.
Every sneer, every yell, every insult,
they only damage the human mind.
A human mind can only take so much pain.
...
You don't understand, Mother?
Eh...? Try thinking of an author and a story.
An author is required to write a story,
neither can work without the other.
Just like a mother should be supportive of a child,
an author should write what they can (and/or want).
Although if an author tries too hard,
their work will suffer
just like if a mother hurts her child,
then that child suffers.
Eh? It's a bad analogy? Ah...I can't compare things very well.
But you know, despite this,
it'd be nice if you could hear me out sometimes
and listen to what I have to say.
Even a simple-minded person wants to be heard sometimes.