BPOV

I feared this moment would come. In fact, I knew it would. I had hoped after I showered and was cleaned and refreshed I could come out and Edward would still be there and we could start over again.

I had hoped Edward didn't take my words of departure to heart. I had hoped he didn't listen to them at all.

I stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my cold, wet body and went in search of the man I love. Looking around the living room and the bedroom, my hope quickly died, noticing I was very much alone.

I never wanted Edward to leave I was just upset at the way he acted.

The way he behaved sometimes pissed me off, not only the way he acted about our confusing relationship but the way he acted about himself. It was as if he felt he didn't deserve to be happy, as if he was imprisoned to this life of disrespect and being treated as worthless.

I wanted to yell and scream out in frustration. I wanted to go to all those awful, nasty women that ever hurt Edward and slap them as well as tell them off. I wanted to make them feel as shitty as they have made the man I love feel. Maybe if they had a dose of their own medicine they would think twice about treating people like worthless things. Maybe then, if Edward knew there was nothing to fear anymore he would finally be able to heal.

I knew it was impossible to find all those women and convince them that what they were doing was wrong. Even if I did stop them eventually there would be more willing to take their place.

I cringed at the thought.

Maybe it's a losing battle.

No, I can't believe that.

I need to at least try for Edward.

If I can take Jane down than I take down the whole agency. Then maybe women would learn their lesson.

I immediately picked up my phone and dialed.

"Hey dad, it's Bella. Listen, I don't know how to say this but here it goes. I was hanging around downtown with Alice when we came upon this suspicious building…"

"Hold up, Bella what were you doing down town? I told you that is not a good area for you to be in. You know all the crime that happens down there." My father lectured.

"I know dad, that's why I'm calling."

"Why, what happened, are you okay? Why were you down there anyways?"

I huffed annoyed at my dad's paranoia.

"Dad, if you would let me finish I could explain."

Now it was my dad's turn to sigh in frustration.

"As I was saying, Alice and I were downtown. I really didn't want to go, being how they have a bad reputation down there, like you said but Alice wanted to go to get some shoes she saw in that area."

"Shoes, you went down town for shoes?" My father questioned in disbelief.

"We're talking about Alice here dad." I stated.

My dad knew of Alice's love a fashion. Anyone who has ever met her knew, even people who didn't know her could tell with one glance at her name brand, trendy clothes.

"Uh huh, now get to the part about crime." My dad voiced, losing his patience.

"Anyway, we were looking for this store and got lost along the way. We started asking people for directions and noticed this building across from us. It was a nice looking building and for the most part everything seemed fine, except when I looked more closely. I saw these two mid-aged women standing by the curb. They were wearing skimpy clothes with holes in them and their faces were covered in cheap make up. Dad, I think they're running illegal prostitution at that building. I was wondering if you could check it out."

"Okay, do you have any proof?" My dad asked eagerly.

"Isn't my say so proof enough?" I questioned, biting my lower lip in stress.

"Now Bell, I can't send squad cars over there unless there is hard proof."

Shit, I didn't think of that.

Come on Bella, think.

"Well, the women that I saw, one of them dropped a big stack of cash. Now why would a woman dressed cheaply have a load of money in her possession and not be able to afford decent clothes…?"

I was putting it on thick but I was desperate.

"… And after that, both the women headed inside the building. Why would an upscale building let random streetwalkers in their place? Wouldn't they worry about their reputation?"

"Bella, I'm not going to argue that the women were probably streetwalkers. However that still doesn't mean the building is running a prostitution agency. Maybe it was their hotel or something. And you know how many prostitutes there are down town? I can't just send a car for a couple prostitutes. There will just be more in their place. Plus, downtown is not really in my jurisdiction."

"But..."

"It was a good try Bella but I can't risk sending my men over there unless we have hard evidence."

Say something!

Anything!

"Well, there's more!" I blurted out, knowing my father was seconds from ending the conversation.

I was grasping on everything and anything I could think of.

"What's that?" My dad asked, already losing interest.

"Well, I was curious, so I wrote down the address of that place and looked it up in the yellow pages and you know what I found out?"

"I can't wait to hear this." My father voiced sarcastically.

"I found the number and called the place myself and it's an escort service."

"Really?" My dad asked doubtful.

"Yes, the place is called Quench Your Thirst. Now can you send the cars over?" I asked anxiously.

"You're sure it's sex escorting Bella?"

"Yes, I ask the lady over the phone what they provided, dad it's prostitution."

"Okay, I'll see what I can do. Thanks kiddo. Maybe you should become a detective or something. I could always use more people in this field." My dad suggested.

I forced laugh trying to avoid an awkward moment.

"Yeah, ah, I think I'll stick with my books and leave the crime work to you."

"Okay, well if you ever change your mind you know who to go to." He replied.

"Yeah, can you please call me and let me know what you find out?" I asked trying not to sound too eager.

"Sure thing."

"Thanks, bye Dad."

"Take care kiddo."

EPOV

"Edward what are you doing here? Our next meeting isn't for a couple of days." Dr. Roberts voiced, standing behind her desk.

Confusion was written all over her face as well as concern.

I panicked seeing that she was in the processes of collecting her things, ready to call it a day.

Oh please don't throw me out.

Please let me talk.

I need to get this off my chest.

"I know I shouldn't be here. I know I should have called but I had nowhere else to go and I need to talk to someone."

Dr. Roberts sighed setting her bag on top of her desk.

"Edward, this is not how it works. You need to make an appointment before coming here. It's the end of the day. I'm sorry for your recent problems, but they are going to have to wait a couple of days. I'm tired, it's been a long day and right now I just want to be with my family." She voiced.

Please don't give up on me.

I know I'm a mess.

Maybe if you give me some time I'll change.

"I'm sorry; I know you have a life. I just… I don't know who else to talk to." I stressed, feeling very much alone.

Please say it's okay.

Please let me talk.

"Goodnight Dr. Roberts, see you in the morning!" One of the receptionists called out before turning the lights off in the front.

"Night!" Dr. Roberts called out in return.

After a moment passed she turned her attention back to me arching an eyebrow.

"How did you get in here anyways? It's past office hours, the staff knows that." She questioned.

"I think your youngest receptionist has a crush on me." I answered.

"Ashley, I should have known." She voiced, shaking her head in displeasure.

Okay Edward, I'll tell you what, I'll give you fifteen minutes, but that's it. I would like to get home some time tonight."

I can breathe again.

"Thanks." I breathed out in relief, lying out on the couch.

Who knew telling personal feelings to a stranger could be so addicting?

Who knew it could bring so much relief?

took notice to my change in seating arrangements but didn't say anything. She took her spot in her big chair and began with her usually starter question.

"So, tell me Edward. What brings you here this evening?"

"Well, a lot. Since I only have fifteen minute I guess I'm going to have to summarize everything. Okay here it goes… I had to see a client yesterday, Victoria. She made a guy fuck me. It was an awful experience. It really screwed me up and Bella was there for me. I quit my job after that and successfully had oral with Bella followed by sex, she told me she loved me and now she could possibly be pregnant." I rambled off.

It feels good to get that weight off my chest.

"Whoa, one thing at a time. Bella's pregnant with your baby?"

Oh, she caught that.

Of course out of everything I just voiced, getting fucked by a guy and quitting my job, she only hears Bella's pregnant.

"I don't know. She's on the pill. So chances are low but there is a chance." I confessed.

Shit, those pills better work.

"How is that even possible? I thought you wore protection?" Dr. Roberts asked confused.

Yeah, so did I.

Stupid emotions.

I covered my face with my hands feeling ashamed and stressed.

"I do, I forgot just this once in the heat of the moment I guess or I forgot out of sheer panic, one or the other." I mumbled against my hands.

"What do you mean panic? What would make having sex with a woman be scary for someone like you, who gets paid to do that all that time?" She challenged.

"Shasmetomalovther." I muffled.

"What?" I'm sorry you're going to have to speak up Edward I can't understand a thing you said."

Why do you have to make this harder on me?

Can't you see I'm struggling already?

I sighed before removing my hands from my face.

"I said, she asked me to make love to her."

"What's the problem with that Edward?"

"I never… I never made love before. I don't even know what it is, how the hell can I express something I never felt before? It was awful… well not awful but I didn't know what I was doing, and that's never happened to me before. I always have a basic routine I do. I always know what the women I sleep with want. Bella is so sweet and I just want to help her out. I don't know, I might have even been curious as to what making love might feel like myself. So I gambled, I went off routine and just did what felt nice."

Dr. Roberts face was blank.

"Well that's progress. You finally quit your job and you want to experience love. I'm actually not surprised you have never made love before; being in the industry you were in. Dealing with unfair treatment form both sexes, I imagine it's the farthest thing from your mind.

I scrunched my face in confusion.

"Why don't you sound surprised?"

She gave me a small smile.

"Edward did you forget I met with Bella today?"

Shit, that was today?

I completely forgot.

"Yeah, but I mean… she told you she loved me?"

She nodded her head yes.

Fuck, now what am I going to do?

Even my therapist knows Bella's feelings for me and I'm still freaken confused about this whole mess.

"We talked about a lot of things, but that's beside the point. We're not here to discuss Bella's thoughts, were here to deal with yours. So how did it make you feel to hear Bella say she loved you?"

"It's not right." I protested, shaking my head in disapproval.

It's not right for her to feel that way for me.

It's not right for me to feel I'm her equal, when I'm not even close.

It's not right that her life may be fucked up now because I forgot to put on protection.

"Edward, there is no right or wrong with love. You can't pick and choose. You just feel it." She preached.

"I don't know. The whole baby situation was a complete wake up call. That something as stupid as forgetting to put on a condom could fuck everything up. I don't want Bella to be pregnant. I don't want her to be bound to me."

I don't want a baby right?

I don't want her to regret ever meeting me.

I don't want it to be my fault that she has a baby out of wedlock.

I don't want it to be because of me that she becomes a single parent.

I don't want her to hate me.

She can do so much better.

She deserves better, a better life and a better love interest.

"So you don't want Bella to be stuck with you. Is that what you're saying Edward?"

"She deserves better." I argued.

I don't have a job to support a family.

I don't have the emotional stability to have a family or even show love.

I mean what is love exactly?

It's foreign to me.

Edward, look around you. No one is here but you and me. There is no one judging you. Once in for all, deep down, what do feel for her? You know how you feel you just have to say it."

What do I feel?

I feel like a big disappointment.

I'm a disappointment to my parents or would be if they truly knew what I was doing for a living while they thought I was in the music industry.

I'm a disappointment to Bella.

I could never show her as much affection as she has giving to me and it's not right or fair.

I'm a disappointment to myself.

I never wanted to grow up to become this disposable, robotic sex toy.

What I feel for Bella is irrelevant because it's not going to change anything.

At the end of the day I will still be this and she will be alone.

I can't make her happy.

I'll only bring her misery…

BPOV

I headed inside the grocery store, grabbing a cart. I scanned high and low on the shelves trying to figure out what I needed. I placed a couple of items I was running low on, like, milk and bread in it before heading down the candy aisle. I was in desperate need of a sweet fix, something to get me out of my funk.

I smiled as I came upon one of my favorite candy bars, Twix, throwing it in my cart before processing over to the feminine care section.

I browsed down at the pregnancy test kits. I began to bite my lower lip nervously.

I'm on the pill I have nothing to worry about right?

But the pills aren't one hundred percent pregnancy proof.

Shit, what if I am pregnant?

Calm down Bella, don't hyperventilate in the store.

We don't know anything yet.

Just grab a test and go.

Shit, there are so many, which one should I choose?

Oh crap.

I wonder if Alice ever had a pregnancy scare.

I reached down with a shaky hand grabbing the closest container to me. I turned the box over reading the inscription.

"First response pregnancy test, if you see two pink lines you may be pregnant. One pink line indicates you're not pregnant." I whispered to myself.

I felt a nudge on my shoulder. I turn to see a smiley faced women. I quickly hid the test in my hands but sometime told me she already saw.

"That's a good one, First Response. You can't go wrong with that one." She praised.

"Oh, thanks." I answered uneasily, glancing back and forth between the lady's very pregnant belly and the kit in my hands.

"Yeah, no problem and good luck." She voiced as she rolled her chart down the aisle.

Good luck?

Good luck at what?

Good luck, hope you're pregnant or good luck, I hope you have better luck than I did?

Why do people assume if you think you're pregnant, you always want the baby?

What is so great about a baby anyway?

They whine, they cry, they want, they need, and they cost loads of money and demand your time.

Pets, pets are the way to go.

But then again, they shed, they whine, they cry, they want, they need, and they cost loads of money and demand your time.

Argh!

Scratch that, being alone is the way to go.

If your alone you don't have to worry about anyone but yourself and you don't have to worry about getting pregnant.

It is lonely though.

So lonely.

I shook the thoughts from my head and tossed the test kit in my cart heading over to the cashier to pay. I must have still been lost in my thoughts because the next thing I knew I rammed my cart into the person ahead of me.

"OW!" The guy moaned, grabbing a hold of his now bruised elbow.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, my mind is elsewhere today." I apologize to the man's back.

I hoped he wasn't to upset. He was quite built and tall from what I could see.

I watched on edge as the man started to turn around as if to say something. I looked up surprised to see none other than Jacob Black.

"Bella?" He voiced, stunned to see me.

"Jacob, what are you doing here?" I asked just as stun.

He smirked amused.

"It's a store Bella."

I blushed in embarrassment.

"Oh right, I mean, I didn't expect to see you here. I mean, how are you?" I asked nervously.

I wasn't sure why I was so nervous. I mean, I only had one date with the guy and he obviously wasn't taken with me or else he would have called.

He snickered obviously finding my discomfort amusing.

"I'm good, I ah, I actually feel like an ass. I wanted to call you but me being me, I lost your number. I would have looked it up in the white pages but I didn't want to come off like a stalker."

Now it was my turn to snicker at his discomfort.

"Oh, well I guess it was a good thing I ran into you then. See, I thought you didn't like how our date went." I confessed, feeling a little better about myself after learning otherwise.

"Of course not, you're a sweet girl Bella. Any guy would be lucky to have you. I mean, enjoy your company." Jacob praised, his face flushed with color.

"I'll take the next person in line please!" The cashier called out.

"Ladies first." Jacob voiced, clearing a way for me to pass.

I smiled about to move my cart when I remember the pregnancy test.

Shit!

"Umm, you know what, why you don't go first. I think I have a lot more items than you. It's only fair." I replied.

"Sure, okay, thanks."

Jacob gave me a big cheesy grin before moving to the cashier.

After he finished paying for his beer, chips and nacho sauce he gave me an apologetic look saying he wish he could stay and talk but he was having a guy's night at his place and his crew were quite the impatient bunch. I for one was grateful, not that I didn't enjoy spending time with Jacob. I just didn't want him to see the pregnancy test and freak out or think less of me. I told Jacob he was more than welcomed to look me up in the white pages.

I waited till the moving doors shut behind him before setting my things on the counter. Everything was going find until the cashier reached the pregnancy kit. She paused noticing the kit was the next item to be scanned. She looked up at me and then back down at the test. I think it was pretty clear on my face what I wanted the result to be. Once my Twix was scanned I grabbed it, tearing the wrapper off of it.

"You mind? I've been craving this." I asked without waiting for an answer, bringing the crunchy, chewy chocolate goodness to my lips.

I probably looked like a crazy nut case but I didn't care. I was too worried to care.

"Mmm, nothing beats a Twix." I said through chews.