Beta'd by epd4. I'd like to give a great big thanks for all her help. Any mistakes that remain are mine and mine alone.

Another great big thanks to everyone that has commented. I appreciate each and every one.

Bruises

Chapter 26 – Kittens and Unicorns

Buffy paced across the kitchen for what had to be the hundredth time. Angel looked up at her from his seat at the kitchen table and said quietly, "Buffy, just sit down. He's fine and you're making your mom and I dizzy."

Joyce nodded then patted the empty chair to her right. "Angel's right, honey. Wearing yourself out isn't going to help Spike."

Buffy dropped into the chair with a tired sigh. "He thinks I don't want to be with him anymore because he thinks he's crazy, Mom. He basically broke up with me downstairs."

Joyce laid her hand on Buffy's arm. "He was just upset and more than a little freaked out, Buffy, I'm sure he didn't mean it."

Tara stepped quietly into the kitchen. "He didn't, Buffy. Your mother's right."

Buffy jumped to her feet and motioned for Tara to take her chair as she stepped toward the kitchen door. "Is he ok? Can I see him now?"

Tara shook her head as she sat down. "I've given him a sedative so he might be a little loopy for a while and he probably won't remember anything you say to him. Besides, I need to talk to all of you about my plans going forward. Spike is going to need your help, and please realize that I don't normally discuss my patients with – for lack of a better term, civilians – but Spike's case is a bit extreme and I think the more people he has on his side, the better off he'll be."

Angel glanced somewhat shyly at Tara, "Can you even do that? What about doctor – patient confidentiality?"

Tara looked Angel over then smiled. "You're Seamus O'Connor's son, aren't you?"

Angel nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

"That's a good question, Liam. And yes, confidentiality still stands. I'm not going to delve into details of anything Spike's told me; I just want to discuss generalities of treatment."

Buffy moved around the table and took the chair opposite Tara's. "What do we need to do?"

Tara took a deep breath. "I'd expected something like this to happen; it sometimes does in children that have been removed from an abusive situation, and like I said – Spike's case is a little more extreme than most. Being in a normal household and interacting with people that aren't trying to hurt them starts to overwhelm them. They aren't used to dealing with things like that and they may experience a psychotic break and try to get back to where they were. Even though they were being abused, that place feels safe and familiar – they know how to act and what to expect."

Buffy twined her fingers together on the tabletop. "Then that's why he came home? The nightmare freaked him out and he was just trying to get someplace familiar?"

Tara nodded. "Yes, I think so. Also, his feelings of self-worth are a little skewed. Intellectually, he knows he's worthy of love and being cared about and taken care of, but subconsciously, he still believes all the horrible things his father told him."

Buffy's face contorted in disgust as her hands clenched into fists. "That son of a bitch… he is so lucky that I can't get to him or he'd be feeling a lot of what he's put Spike through." She took a deep, calming breath and laid her hands flat on the table. "So, what can we do? What does Spike need?"

Tara reached up and tiredly pinched the bridge of her nose. "He wants to be hospitalized. He practically begged me to lock him up and keep him sedated, and I could – I have the authority to have him committed – but I think that would do more harm than good. He's already spent enough time being held prisoner and putting him in a mental ward would just be more of the same – albeit without the beatings – but he still wouldn't be able to make his own decisions or be responsible for himself. And those are things he needs." She bent down and dug her iPad out of her bag then started tapping on it. "I'm going to need to see him every day for the next week or so. The sessions will be a couple of hours at least and he won't be in any state of mind to concentrate on schoolwork so he'll need to stay home from school, but I don't want him to be alone."

Joyce frowned, "I've got to be at the gallery, Rupert has work, and Buffy needs to go to school…"

Angel cleared his throat and said quietly, "I could hang out with him, if that's all right. I'm suspended from school for another week and a half anyway. And I was going to start teaching him to fight…" At Tara's look of alarm, Angel quickly continued, "Just some martial arts moves so he can defend himself. Some of the kids at school pick on him a lot and I thought it would help."

Tara nodded slowly as she thought it over. "Actually, I think that would be very helpful. Right now, he doesn't consider his body his own, he's had no control over anything that's happened to him and learning to defend himself could go a long way in convincing him that he's in charge of what happens to his body… and that he's allowed to prevent it from being damaged."

Buffy suddenly felt sick. The ice cream and popcorn started knocking on the back of her throat as all of her interactions with Spike suddenly screamed across her mind. She clapped a hand to her mouth and Joyce looked at her in alarm, "Buffy? Are you all right?"

Buffy shook her head and dropped her forehead to the table. "No. No, I'm not. God, I'm as bad as everyone who's ever hurt him."

Tara threw a sharp glance at Joyce then looked at Buffy. "What do you mean?"

Buffy mumbled into the table top. "I never asked him… I pretty much just told him or did what I wanted… well, what I thought he'd want anyway… but I never asked if he wanted it. He probably thought he couldn't tell me no… that it wasn't allowed."

Joyce whispered, "What are you talking about?"

Buffy didn't raise her head, she just kept mumbling at the table. "Everything… the clothes, his hair, the sex stuff…"

Tara gasped loudly and threw another sharp glance at Joyce who just looked coolly back. "Yes, Miss Maclay, they've been intimate. They're old enough."

Tara's lips pursed in a sour look. "Their age is not the issue here… if Buffy is saying what I think she's saying…"

Buffy's head came up off the table, her horror struck features making everyone gasp. "Are you asking if I forced him? Because yeah… I think I did. I didn't mean to… and he never said no… but… if he isn't able to… then… yeah. I forced Spike."

XX

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Loopy didn't even begin to describe Spike as Buffy and Angel maneuvered him toward her mother's Jeep. He was smiling brightly and talking to the stars, giving them names as he stumbled down the sidewalk toward the street. He suddenly turned and looked at Angel, throwing his balance off as he called out, "Adrian! There you are, you nit! Thought you'd gone!"

Angel gripped his arm a little tighter to keep him steady and mouthed to Buffy, "Adrian?"

Buffy smiled as Spike leaned close to Angel and whispered, "Where'd you put the kittens?"

Angel's eyes went wide and he sputtered, "Uh… in the garage?"

That answer seemed to satisfy Spike and he nodded vigorously, throwing his balance off again. Buffy giggled and watched Angel brace himself against Spike's weight until he stopped swaying. Spike's arm came up and wrapped over her shoulders then he lowered his head and nuzzled against her hair. "And who are you, luv? What's a pretty little thing like you doing hangin' about with a ruffian like ol' Adrian over there?"

Buffy smirked up at him then the smirk fell off her face as she recalled the conversation from the kitchen a little while ago. She schooled her features into a bland mask and whispered, "Uh… I'm Buffy."

He nodded then leaned in with a conspiratorial whisper, "And who am I, pet?"

She leaned away from him and muttered, "Spike. You're Spike and we're taking you home."

He nodded again then flicked his eyes toward a tree in the front yard. He muttered, "Don't forget the unicorn," and promptly passed out.

Angel caught him before he hit the ground and hefted him carefully over his shoulder. Buffy watched him carry Spike to the Jeep and lay him down across the back seat then she turned to Tara. "Um… is he supposed to be acting all… weird?"

Tara shook her head as she moved toward the Jeep. "No. It seems he's having a bit of an abnormal reaction to the sedative I gave him."

Buffy followed with a worried frown on her face. "Is he going to be ok?"

Tara leaned into the Jeep and lifted Spike's eyelids, shining a small penlight into each eye, then took his pulse and watched him breathe for a minute. "Yes, his pulse and breathing are normal and his pupils are equal and reactive, so I think the drug just made him a little bit high. Just get him to bed and he should be fine when he wakes up tomorrow."

Buffy nodded and looked at the unconscious blond sprawled across the back seat. "Okay. Anything else I should do? Should I stay with him or leave him alone?"

Tara stepped back and considered the distraught girl that was standing outside the Jeep with her arms wrapped tightly around her torso as she worried her bottom lip. "You could stay near him, but I wouldn't touch him unless he asks you to. Let him decide what he wants to happen."

Buffy nodded miserably. "Ok. He pretty much broke up with me anyway, so I won't force myself on him anymore."

Tara gently laid her hand on Buffy's arm. "He didn't break up with you, Buffy; he was just giving you an out. He thinks that his behavior tonight and his 'bloody boat load of baggage' will scare you off anyway, so he was trying to make it easier on you. And now that I've thought about it… things he said tonight… I don't think you forced yourself on him, but if it'll make it easier for you, then let him lead. Let him make the first move. He needs you, Buffy, whether he realizes it or not."