CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

Narcissa awoke from her unexpected nap still feeling incredibly drowsy. She squinted her eyes as she rolled over in bed, looking at the serpent-shaped clock that adorned the wall. Five thirty? That meant she must have slept another six hours. What the hell?

Confused, she sat up in bed, pushing the covers from her body. It felt like it took so much more effort than it should; her muscles were incredibly sluggish as they struggled to allow her body movement. Groaning, Narcissa tried to remember what happened before she fell asleep. She certainly didn't mean to nap in the middle of the day, even if she was trying to give her body time to heal. But she was doing much better lately – nothing that should warrant her passing out at strange hours of the day. Shaking her head to clear it, she hoisted herself up off her bed.

"Shit," she gasped as she nearly fell over. Her head was swimming and her legs felt like bricks. Her body wanted nothing more than to just crawl back into bed and pass out for the remainder of the day. God, what could have caused this? Was it something she ate? Something she—

Drank.

Suddenly Narcissa remembered what happened before she passed out: Bellatrix; she brought her the medicine that she had to take for her internal bruises. But her medicine didn't make her pass out like this. At least, it hadn't before.

It took a moment, but Narcissa finally realized her sister must have drugged her.

Confused and angry, Narcissa just stood in the middle of her room in disbelief. Why would her sister do that? She knew she was angry with her still, but that was no reason to drug her! Did she really want her away from her that badly? Whatever her reasoning, Narcissa was still angry. What Bellatrix did crossed a serious line. What if what she gave her only stood to make her sicker?

Narcissa made her way to her door, fully intending to scream at her sister until her voice was raw, but halted once she heard the sound of the doorbell ringing through the house. She grasped the door handle and was about to open it until she heard voices down the hallway – two female voices.

"Who the bloody hell is that?" came Bellatrix's muffled voice. Narcissa put her ear to the door, so as to better hear who she was with.

"Just get rid of them," replied the other voice, one that Narcissa thought she recognized. But with her weary state and only hearing it through the door, she couldn't be sure who it was. Narcissa heard the distinct sound of a kiss before the woman finished, "then come back to bed, yeah? We don't have much time until our husbands get back."

Narcissa heard some shuffling and Bellatrix letting out a soft groan. It made Narcissa's blood boil as she realized her sister was with her lover. She had half a mind to go out there and beat that other woman to a bloody pulp, but she knew she'd probably fall over before she even made it to her. Damn her. Damn Bellatrix. What a sleazy pillock! How can she do that when Narcissa was in the next room? They may no longer be together, but that didn't mean she had to flaunt it in her face like that. It still hurt.

"Give me a minute," Bellatrix told her… guest, right before Narcissa heard another kiss and footsteps retreating down the hall. Angry, Narcissa yanked open her door, hoping to at least see the stupid bitch that was sleeping with her sister, but the door to Bellatrix's room closed just as she opened her own.

Still intending to find out who she was, Narcissa started to head towards her sister's room. She stopped however once she heard the voice of Lucius downstairs.

"What do you want?" Bellatrix all but snapped after she presumably opened the door.

"Lovely to see you too, as always, Bellatrix," Lucius responded dryly, running his fingers through his hair. "I'm here to see Narcissa."

Narcissa turned around and headed down the hall, towards the stairs. She stopped at the top of them, peering down to see her sister and Lucius standing in the doorway. Bellatrix looked less than pleased.

"She's sleeping," she told him shortly, not even trying to hide her dislike of him.

"In the middle of the day?" Lucius asked, looking at her in disbelief. "She was doing much better, I thought."

"Yeah, you'd think that, wouldn't you?" Bellatrix snapped, looking furious as she remembered yesterday's events. "Maybe you should keep your cock away from her throat; it seemed to trigger some nausea, not that I'm surprised."

Narcissa's mouth dropped open. They didn't do that! And she wasn't nauseous either!

Lucius looked halfway between embarrassed and angry. "What your sister and I do is between us, Bellatrix. I don't appreciate you—"

"What? Telling you what you can and cannot do in my own house?" Bellatrix interrupted, taking a step closer to him. Her eyes burned black with anger and the look made Lucius take a step away from her. "I'll tell you this once, Lucius, and only once: keep your cock away from my sister while you're under my roof. If not, you may find it detached from your body. Do you understand me? I don't play games, nor give many chances; consider yourself lucky I even gave you the courtesy of a warning."

Lucius was looking increasingly more uncomfortable with this altercation, so Narcissa took that as her cue to make her presence known. The creaking of the stairs as she walked down them made both of them turn in surprise. "Cissy!" Bellatrix exclaimed, looking surprised that she was even awake. Well, she would be, wouldn't she? Bitch.

Narcissa stopped on the third to last stair down and glared at her. "You drugged me," is all she said, voice dangerously low.

"She did what?" Lucius asked, surprised and angry as he turned to Bellatrix accusingly.

"Lucius, go home," Bellatrix told him without even sparing him a glance. She was staring at Narcissa atop the stairs, not showing an ounce of regret for what she had done. Her composure was oddly still.

"Do not tell him to—!" Narcissa started, but was interrupted.

"This is my house!" Bellatrix screamed, throwing her hands up in the air like she was sick of having to repeat that already. "And Lucius is not welcome in it right now! If you'd like to have a conversation with me, then by all means do so, but I will not discuss this is front of him, is that clear?"

Narcissa met her sister's fierce gaze with one of her own. They stared at each other for a moment, a battle of wills, before Narcissa consented. "Perhaps it's better if you come back tomorrow, Lucius," she told him, looking over at him apologetically. "Would you be alright with taking me to Diagon Alley? I need to replace my school supplies and get new robes."

Lucius looked at her for a moment, then over at Bellatrix. He didn't look happy, but he nodded. "Of course. I'll pick you up in the morning."

"Thank you," Narcissa replied, trying to give him a small smile. It wasn't reciprocated however and Lucius turned, leaving the Lestrange manor. Bellatrix closed the door behind him and Narcissa made her way down the rest of the stairs.

"Why?" she asked, voice shaking from anger. Bellatrix looked like she was about to reply, but Narcissa didn't give her the chance. "Are you that thick, Bella? You could have seriously hurt me! I'm sick! How selfish are you, anyway?"

"Oh don't have a fit over it, Narcissa," Bellatrix sighed, acting like this entire conversation was taxing and unimportant. "It was herbal, you'll survive."

"That wasn't an answer!" Narcissa shrieked, striding up to her before pushing her backwards. "What gives you the right to do that to me? I'm not something you can just put to sleep when I'm bothering you! I'm not your bloody pet!"

"It was for your own good!" Bellatrix shouted, pushing Narcissa back with just as equal force. "You needed the rest, so stop acting like I'm some kind of monster for trying to give you some!"

"Bullshit," Narcissa spat, looking at Bellatrix like she sickened her. "If you were merely trying to help, you would have told me what you were doing. You didn't do it for me, you did it for you! You did it so you can screw your little whore upstairs without me knowing!"

For the first time, Bellatrix actually looked alarmed. Narcissa nodded scathingly off her reaction. "Yeah, I know. I heard you two. What the hell are you playing at? How can you do that to me; I was in the next room! Are you so self-involved that you forget others have feelings as well?"

"Why should it even matter to you?" Bellatrix shouted, getting angrier because she was starting to feel backed into a corner. "She's no concern of yours!"

"No?" Narcissa spat as she laughed; the very idea that it wasn't was maddening. "Stop pretending you can have any other life but one centered around me! Frankly it's ridiculous and just plain sad. You love me, Bella; not her, nor any other woman! You can't!"

Narcissa had no idea where that came from; it was certainly counterproductive to the space between them that she was trying to achieve. But it was the truth, wasn't it?

It wasn't jealousy though. It wasn't. It was just… it was just truth. The truth had a right to be spoken.

"Oh, don't be so pompous, Cissy. The color doesn't suit you," Bellatrix scoffed, pushing past her like she was something to be disregarded. Narcissa turned furiously.

"Don't walk away from me!"

"I can do what I like. Again, this is my house," Bellatrix replied with a slight chuckle, like her power over Narcissa amused her. All it did was make Narcissa see red.

She screamed something inaudible at her before she ran, pushing her so furiously that Bellatrix landed in a heap on the stairs. Her sister whipped around and grabbed Narcissa's wrist just as she was about to hit her and pulled her down on the stairs in a flash, pinning her there as she hovered over her. Her hand flew to Narcissa's throat, holding her down. Her eyes were crazed, but yet not crazy enough.

At least the potions seemed to be working. Probably an odd thought to be having while her sister held her by her throat, but it floated into her head regardless.

"Don't test me, Cissy," Bellatrix hissed at her before pressing down her throat hard before letting her go, standing up. "I'm warning you." Narcissa coughed and rubbed her neck as she felt the hot sting of tears threatening to fall from her eyes as she watched her sister climb the stairs.

"I said don't walk away from me!" Narcissa yelled, her voice a little hoarse from the strain on her vocal cords; both from them recently being compressed, along with trying not to cry. Bellatrix merely ignored her.

When Bellatrix was out of sight, Narcissa allowed the tears to fall as she picked herself up off the stairs. Every inch of her body was screaming in pain and she struggled to make it back up the stairs. She was so angry that it felt like it was using up all her energy, draining her.

She knew she shouldn't care, but she couldn't help it. Suddenly she felt so betrayed. Bellatrix was hers. Maybe she didn't want her now, but that didn't mean that Bellatrix had the right to just go and replace her. She knew her sister loved her; she breathed because of her, just as Narcissa breathed for her. They were each other's life source.

She was foolish to believe she could ever walk away from Bellatrix unscathed. Her sister had made a permanent mark upon her soul and it was starting to show. She was jealous. She was more than jealous.

She was so fucking jealous that it tore her heart apart.

She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to hit Bellatrix until she told her she loved her, and only her. That no one else mattered. Because no one else did matter to her in the way Bellatrix did. No one. Not even Lucius. She liked him, but the feeling she held for him were incomparable to the ones she held for her sister.

But it was over. It was over because of her doing. It's what she wanted, wasn't it? Narcissa couldn't help but wonder if she was forever doomed for unhappiness; because when she was with Bellatrix she was unhappy, but without her she was even more so.

Narcissa didn't know what she wanted to do. She didn't know what she should do. Was it better if she left it? Probably. But she was so angry and upset that she didn't listen to her conscience, and as she headed down the hallway she only had one destination: Bellatrix's room.

Narcissa all but kicked in the door. It slammed against the wall hard, splintering from the force. "You—!" she started, about ready to tear her sister a new one for making her heart bleed in this way. But she stopped as she caught sight of who she was with in bed and it only served to shred her soul a little more. She stared at them in disbelief, unable to move or say a word.

"Christ, Narcissa, you could knock," Bellatrix snapped as she got off of her little whore. Thankfully they were both still clothed, but it didn't make it any better. Narcissa couldn't breathe; she stared at the other woman as all the blood drained from her face. She felt like she was going to fall over.

"I'm so sorry, we thought you were asleep," Gwendolyn explained, embarrassed and flustered as she made space between her and Bellatrix, trying to pretend they weren't in here doing exactly what Narcissa knew they were doing.

Her? Narcissa knew she was about to completely break in half. Out of the millions of witches in the world, why did it have to be Gwendolyn? It hit her like a brick in the face and Narcissa remembered Bellatrix's words so many years ago on the train, as if they were spoken to her yesterday:

"If I was to marry anyone, I would've wanted to marry her."

Narcissa legs gave out then and she collapsed on the floor, her body too weak to hold her anymore. Her head hit the wooden floor with a loud thwack and her world went black for a moment.

"Cissy!" Bellatrix exclaimed, fear gripping her voice as she ran off the bed to her sister. Her knees hit the floor hard and she gathered Narcissa up in her arms, running her hand across her forehead. "Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

"Christ, is she okay?" Gwendolyn asked, crawling out of the bed after her. "Damnit Bellatrix, I told you we should have been more discreet! What if she tells someone? We're both married!"

"Oh shut up, will you?" Bellatrix snapped, furious. "My sister just fucking collapsed. Just… go home, yeah? Lemme take care of her!"

Gwendolyn stood there for a moment, as if debating on whether she should or not. But finally she leaned down and kissed Bellatrix on the top of her head. "Alright, but I'm trusting you to keep this swept under the rug. If Rabastan ever found out…"

"Don't talk to me like I'm stupid, Gwen. I have a husband as well; I know how vital it is that we keep this a secret. Now go, will you? I have to take care of my sister." Bellatrix smoothed down Narcissa's hair worriedly, who was still unconscious.

Gwendolyn gave her one last look until she strode from the room, her footsteps echoing down the hallway as she left. Bellatrix bit her lower lip and tapped Narcissa's cheek lightly, trying to rouse her. "Cissy? Come on Narcissa, wake up; you're scaring the shit out of me."

It took a moment of coaxing, but Narcissa finally started to come round. She groaned as she opened her eyes, the world coming to her slowly, albeit a little fuzzy. Her head was pounding and she tried to sit up, but it only stood to make her nauseaus so she groaned and laid her head back down on Bellatrix's shoulder asking softly, her voice filled with confusion, "What happened?"

"You fell," Bellatrix told her, stroking her hair softly. "You hit your head, you should probably lie down."

"Yeah…" Narcissa affirmed softly, still not remembering what went on before she fell. She allowed Bellatrix to help her to her feet, but as soon as her eyes landed on Bellatrix's bed, it all came back to her so quickly it nearly knocked her back down again.

"Shit," Bellatrix exclaimed, catching Narcissa before she tumbled to the ground again. "You need to move slowly."

But Narcissa was barely listening to her. The memory of Bellatrix and Gwendolyn on that bed kept replaying in her mind like some kind of cruel joke, taking the breath from her. The anger and the betrayal were boiling inside of her, threatening to explode. Her eyes met Bellatrix's and they burned with hatred and jealousy as she pushed her off of her. "No, get off of me!" she exclaimed. But she wasn't able to stand on her own due to the injury to her head and she fell backwards against the wall, gripping a nearby chair to steady herself. But she wasn't deterred. "Don't you touch me! Ever!"

"Cissy…" Bellatrix tried, for the first time actually looking guilty for what she was doing. She tried to take a step closer to her, but Narcissa stumbled back away from her, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes again.

"I hate you! I can't believe you would do that to me!" she screamed at her, still trying to back away while Bellatrix was advancing. But she ran out of things to hold onto and her legs couldn't hold her body weight anymore and she fell again, landing on the floor in a heap.

"I didn't do this to hurt you!" Bellatrix told her, then watched Narcissa hit the floor. "Shit," she swore as she rushed over to help her sister up. Narcissa only swore at her and pushed her away, but she was weak and eventually Bellatrix had her gathered up in her arms as she helped her stand. "No, come on, Cissy. You need to be in bed!"

"Fuck you! You're the most horrible person I've ever met in my life!" Narcissa screamed, but she wasn't in the condition to fight her sister any longer. Try as she might, she couldn't get Bellatrix off of her. After about a minute of fighting her so she would just stop touching her like she even had that right anymore, she gave up and allowed Bellatrix to carry her to bed.

But once she landed in bed, Narcissa wasted no time pushing her sister away from her. "Just go away," she growled at her, wishing eyes would stop watering. She looked so weak, she knew that. She was weak, but that didn't mean she had to look that way. She wanted to be strong; she wanted to tell Bellatrix to go to hell for what she did, but she knew she never would have that kind of strength within her.

"Why are you so angry with me?" Bellatrix asked, sounding both hurt and angry herself. "You knew I had a woman before and you didn't act like this, not until today. You're being a brat, Cissy; you act as if you no longer want me and then assume I'm still your property!"

"I didn't know it was her!" Narcissa shouted, curling up under the covers and wishing she could just disappear. "You knew she was different, Bella. That's why you drugged me so I wouldn't find out, that's why you never told me her name. You knew she was different than if it were any other woman."

"And yet you scream at me for trying to protect you; for trying to make sure you didn't find out and get hurt? That's ridiculous," Bellatrix retorted.

"You drugged me!" Narcissa shouted. "In what twisted world do you believe you have the right to do something like that to me?" Bellatrix looked like she was about to answer, but Narcissa didn't give her the chance. "And if you really didn't want to hurt me, maybe you should have never started sleeping with that minger in the first place!"

"So what, you expect for me to be all alone while you're off fucking Lucius? I need to live my own life, Cissy, with or without you in it!"

"But it didn't have to be with her!"

"Why are you so against Gwen? What has she ever done to you?" Bellatrix asked, getting angrier by the moment. It was clear on her face that she believed she was being attacked for little reasoning. Her chest compressed more as her breathing got shallower and her eyes blackened for a moment as she stared at Narcissa hatefully.

"Are you joking?" Narcissa asked, though rhetorically. She looked at her sister like she was sure those potions she was taking rattled her brain, because wasn't what Gwen did clear as day?

"If I was joking, I'm sure I'd hold at least a little bit of amusement! Do I look amused to you, Cissy?" Bellatrix shouted, waving erratically at her very unamused state of being. "Why are you being like this? Gwen is of no mater to you; she never has been. My feelings for her are not even comparable to the ones I hold for you!" She was starting to look a little crazed, desperate to get her point across. Her hands were shaking now.

"I can't deal with this," Narcissa gasped as she drew her legs to her chest, hiding her face behind her knees. Her hands ran through her blonde hair, tugging on it a little as she attempted to calm down. She knew she was freaking out, probably much more than the situation called for since they were, after all, no longer together. But it just hurt so much. Narcissa wasn't done with Bellatrix. They were just… just taking a break. She just needed some breathing room, that was all!

Gwendolyn would ruin all of that, Narcissa was sure of it. She always loved Bellatrix, and Bellatrix always held feelings for her. What if her sister decided to run away with her? What if she was willing to give up everything for that sleazy bitch, but not for her own flesh and blood? What if Narcissa was never the right person for her and it was really… it was really Gwendolyn?

Narcissa felt sick.

"Cissy, please," Bellatrix begged, sitting on the bed next to her sister. Her voice was soft, pleading; even a little desperate as her words shook. "Don't push me, okay? Please. If you keep screaming I'm going to—"

"Going to what?" Narcissa spat angrily as she turned her face to look at her. "I thought you were getting 'better'," she mocked with air quotes. "You told me you were! Are you a sodding liar about that too? How long were you fucking her, Bella? I want to know! Was your tongue halfway up her cunt while you claimed you lived and breathed only for me? Answer me! I want to know!"

"I—" Bellatrix tried, but was interrupted.

"You tell me you love me, but you're nothing but a filthy liar! You've been fucking her, haven't you? Was I just some game to you? Some sort of sick conquest? You're deranged, Bella! It's your fault I'm like this, it's your fault everything bad has ever happened, you know that? You just use people and you take what you want and you don't give a sod about anyone else's feelings. You make me into some kind of incestuous sinner just because it gives you pleasure to screw up my life! I'd be normal if it wasn't for you – happy!" Narcissa screamed, seemingly on a roll now. Try as she might, she couldn't seem to stop herself; it all came out. "But no, because you couldn't stand being screwed up alone, you had to take me down with you! And now you have the nerve to do something like this to me, after everything? You were screwing her behind my back, weren't you? Weren't you? I know you were!"

"Do you really want to know?" Bellatrix screamed, recoiling from her as if she found herself suddenly locked within a cage and was desperate to escape it. She seemed to have lost her train of thought as her hands flew to her hair and she scratched her scalp, frantically moving throughout the bedroom, her eyes seeming to catch every detail of it. "Fuck," she breathed as she closed her eyes for a moment; she looked as if she was trying to control herself and Narcissa instantly felt guilty. She had asked her to not push her and yet she deliberately did. But this was different than before and that became clearer than day when suddenly Bellatrix's face twisted into a look of agony and she screamed bloody murder.

"Bella!" Narcissa exclaimed, frightened as she watched her sister collapse on the floor, holding her head like she was in immense pain. "Bella! Bellatrix!" she cried again as she fell to her knees next to her sister, having no idea what to do. She wanted to desperately to help and yet she didn't know how. Her fear was gripping her chest, threatening to suffocate her.

Oh god, she had done this.

The screaming stopped though and Bellatrix just lay there on the floor for a moment, breathing hard. Narcissa swallowed as she reached out to brush her sister's hair away from her face, but nearly jumped out of her skin when Bellatrix grabbed her wrist in the blink of an eye. Bellatrix rose up to become face to face with Narcissa and she peered at her, cocking her head to the side for a moment before a huge grin spread across her face.

"Oh, how I've missed you, Cissy…" she purred, that too familiar madness back in her eyes again. She practically crawled up Narcissa's body, who stayed stock still, wary of the changes that had happened since last she saw her like this. "Mmm…" Bellatrix continued, humming against her neck. "Did you miss me too?" Her tongue snaked out, flicking against the base of Narcissa's neck. But then she made a face and drew back, spitting on the carpet. "Uck, you taste like man. That's such a disgusting habit; I should teach you better table manners."

Narcissa watched her sister carefully, still trying to see if Bellatrix in this state was a threat to her now she seemed to have… evolved, for a lack of a better term. "You're using your madness to get out of what you did," Narcissa told her flatly, figuring she might as well be honest with her displeasure of this happening now. "Where are your potions?"

Bellatrix's eyes darkened. "You wanted the truth, didn't you? I am the truth." She grabbed Narcissa's dress, making the younger girl yelp as she pushed her into the floor, crawling on top of her. She smiled wickedly as she pinned her there, "So ask me again, lover."

"Get off of me," Narcissa demanded, not looking the least bit amused. She was much too weak to fight Bellatrix off herself, so she knew demanding it was her only option. "Now."

"Say please…"

"Eat me," Narcissa retorted. She wasn't going to play her games. But Bellatrix merely smiled, as if she was told the world was hers for the taking.

"I thought you'd never ask," she replied as she lifted up Narcissa's dress. The blonde's eyes went wide as her sister grabbed her panties, so she summoned up all the energy her sick body had within and kicked her.

"No!" she yelled as her foot hit Bellatrix in the stomach, making her fall back a little as she coughed from the blow. Narcissa scrambled up to a sitting position, looking at her furiously. God, it still hurt to move. This was such a bad time to have something like this happen. "How can you even think I'd want you to touch me after what I saw you do? Are you that mentally fucked?"

"Seems that question is a little redundant, love," Bellatrix replied, chuckling as she rubbed the offended area on her stomach. She licked her lips and tilted her head, peering at her sister, as if she was studying her. "You want me to," she stated finally, after a moments silence. She grinned. "You still lie in bed at night and touch yourself thinking about me, don't you? Oh, you're so dirty, Cissy. I like it."

Narcissa flushed, but continued to glare at her. "I'm not dealing with you like this, Bella. I'm sick. If you cared even an ounce for me, you'd just go take your potion." She didn't want to argue anymore; she didn't have the strength for it. She laid her head against the mattress of her bed and wiped the hair from her face clumsily. "Please," she begged softly. She prayed Bellatrix still had enough sanity in her to at least oblige her for now.

Bellatrix peered at her for a moment, but it wasn't long enough. She was suddenly in her face again, trapping Narcissa against the wall and the bed frame, arms on either side of her. "I want to play a game with you first," she told her, smiling like an excited toddler. Her hand was tapping on the floor, like she couldn't keep it still.

"No, no games," Narcissa sighed, feeling much too exhausted. She should have never started this fight to begin with; she should have just let it go until she was well. She looked at her sister pleadingly. "If you love me, go take your medicine. Then… then put me back to bed, okay?" she requested softly.

It was odd, the way Bellatrix was looking at her. She was almost like a child discovering something new about the world. Her hand stopped its incessant moving suddenly. "Do you still love me?" she asked her curiously. For how frightening Bellatrix usually was when she was in this state, at the moment she looked more innocent than Narcissa had ever seen her look in her life. The shock made Narcissa blink, taken aback for a moment.

Bellatrix's rapid moods always threw her for a loop. Angry one moment, excited the next, curious the minute after… Narcissa had a hard time keeping up with it all sometimes.

"More than anyone in the world," Narcissa whispered honestly, her lips turning into a sad smile. It was the truth, after all. They could hurt each other so much and yet they always ended up back here. If only they both learned to grow up and gain and some sense, maybe then the pain would stop. But both of them becoming true adults would be years off, if ever. They still had so much to learn from the heartache.

Bellatrix looked like she was assessing that statement for the truth in it. When she seemed to find it honest, she suddenly leaned forward, her lips colliding with Narcissa's. Her first thought was to protest, but she didn't have much fight left in her. So Narcissa kissed her back, closing her eyes as she tried not to cry. The feelings that were resurfacing from kissing her sister were too much for her to handle. She wanted to grab onto her and never let her go, but at the same time she wanted to beat her within an inch of her life.

When Bellatrix broke, she pressed her lips to Narcissa's ear. "She's been fucking that girl since she became engaged to Rabastan," she told her honestly, though now disassociating, probably to relieve herself of the guilt. Bellatrix in this state wouldn't know how to handle guilt. Narcissa felt her heart clench, like it was being strangled; they were together then. "But every time she was with her, she pretended she was with you." She paused and Narcissa could feel Bellatrix's nails lightly running over her skin. "Don't tell her I told you," she finished finally, like she was afraid of her other, saner half.

"Bella…" Narcissa tried. She didn't know what she wanted to say, but she knew she had to say something. But Bellatrix didn't give her the chance; she rose and fled from the room without a second glance.

It took awhile, but Narcissa finally rose from the floor and crawled into her bed. She wasn't sure when she started crying, but it didn't really matter. She was too young to deal with things like this and yet no matter how far she tried to run, she always ended up back here with her heart broken all over again. She clutched the covers to her chest and stared out into nothing for a while, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Finally, she saw her sister standing in her doorway, silent. Guilt and shame colored her face as she watched her, her fingers digging into the wood of the threshold. She tensed when Narcissa's eyes landed on her and she looked like she was about to run, but Narcissa only requested in a hoarse voice, "Come here…"

Bellatrix looked wary of Narcissa inviting her inside after everything, but slowly made her way into the room. Narcissa held the covers of her bed up for her, pursing her lips. Her sister stopped, looking confused. "I just want to sleep with you," Narcissa pleaded, sounding weak and distraught. "I don't… I don't want to think about anything else right now. I just want you to hold me…" her voice cracked at the end of her request and her bottom lip trembled, hoping her sister wouldn't abandon her again. "Please."

She was still angry; so damn angry and betrayed, but she didn't want to deal with that now. She just needed to be held, that's all she wanted.

It did take a moment, but finally Bellatrix did cross the remainder of the distance, crawling into bed with Narcissa.

TBC…