The Culmination of Us

Aang sat perched on the edge of the bed and observed Katara from his peripheral vision as she emptied her belongings from the armoire situated on the other side of the room, a wry smile playing at the corners of his mouth. He had imagined that when the time came for them to leave the Fire Nation, Katara would exhibit mixed feelings since leaving also meant saying goodbye to their eldest son and his family, as well as their friends. Yet, now that the time had arrived for them to return home to Republic City, Aang was surprised to see that Katara seemed strangely eager, even excited to get back there.

Just to test his theory, however, Aang patted the neatly arranged sheets beneath him and drawled, "I'll bet you're going to miss sleeping in this big bed, aren't you?"

Katara flicked a glance towards the ornate four poster bed bedecked in crimson silk and gold embroidered quilts of the same brilliant scarlet before surveying her husband with an arch look. "As much as I appreciate Zuko's generosity in giving us one of the best rooms his palace had to offer, I have to say that the high point of that bed was sleeping next to you." To her delighted surprise, Aang mumbled her name and ducked his head, blushing in response. Katara grinned at him. "Hmm…it's nice to know that I can still make you blush after all these years."

"You always make me blush," he told her softly, "even when you can't see it."

They smiled at each other in affectionate silence before Katara resumed packing. "You really should stop lollygagging and get your things together, Aang," she scolded him when he continued to loiter on the bed, "We're supposed to leave within the hour. You always procrastinate until the very last second and then you're left scrambling around in confusion and begging for my help so that I end up packing for you while you sit around twiddling your thumbs." Unable to deny the charge, Aang averted his face with a sheepish smile. "Yeah, that's right. I'm on to you now."

"But you do such a good job of it," he wheedled with a charming grin, "Much better than I could ever hope to do."

"I'm immune to the face now, Aang," she deadpanned, "So get up and get to it."

"Yes, dear," he replied in a dutiful mumble, finally rolling from the bed with the half-hearted intention to pack.

Unlike Katara, he wasn't quite as excited about the prospect of returning to Air Temple Island. It wasn't that he didn't love the place because he did. He and Katara had made a life there and built their family there. It was his home. Still, there was something inside him that craved a nomadic existence and Aang couldn't deny that the impromptu trip he and Katara had decided to take a little more than three years prior had filled an unconscious need within him. At his core, Aang supposed, he would always be a wanderer.

They had been in the Fire nation for the last six months, having arrived just in time to be present for the birth of Zuko's first grandson who had been named in honor of Zuko's late uncle Iroh. It had been a privilege and honor for Katara and Aang to share that milestone with Zuko and Mai and to watch their friends rejoice in the expansion of their family. Just two and a half years prior Aang and Katara had become the proud grandparents to a new grandson themselves. That birth was only one of the many changes their family had undergone in recent years. In the time that they had been away from Republic City, the aging couple had experienced quite a few milestones and a number of adventures as well.

In addition to witnessing the birth of Bumi's son, seeing Kya become one of the foremost healers in the South Pole, attending several birthday and anniversary celebrations and even observing as Tenzin taught his first official class for the incoming flux of new acolytes at the Southern Air Temple, Aang and Katara had also found themselves embroiled in national conflicts that were reminiscent of their younger years. Being on vacation hadn't meant that they had been suspended in their duties as protectors of the nations. However, the wisdom and skill that they had both acquired over the years had allowed Aang and Katara to resolve those conflicts rather quickly, which afforded them with the more time to reacquaint themselves with the world.

During their travels, they had revisited several towns and provinces, including Kyoshi Island and the small fishing community that Katara and Aang had saved in the Fire Nation. Both places had changed remarkably in the decades since they had last been there. Kyoshi was now a well known and respected training ground for aspiring Kyoshi warriors and the small, struggling fishing town that had once been on the brink of starvation was now a lucrative hub for trade merchants.

The world around them was slowly beginning to evolve with the advent of crazy new inventions like the moving car and something called a "telephone," which allowed a person to send voice messages to another via a wire. So many crazy and wonderful changes and yet one thing always remained constant and steady, like the ebb and flow of the tides…Aang and Katara's love for one another hadn't diminished in the slightest. In fact, the bond continued to strengthen with age. They had grown comfortable and content with one another, appreciating the inevitable slowdown in their busy schedules.

Consequently, the couple had cherished the exclusive time they'd had to spend together in the last three years. It had been a relatively peaceful trip which had allowed them the opportunity to solidify the bonds of their friendship and settle into the inevitable life changes that age brought with it. During that time of transition, the dream which had disturbed Aang only a few weeks before their trip had reoccurred only on a handful of occasions. Although it always left him feeling shaken and frightened when he awakened, Aang decided not to put too much stock in the nightmare otherwise.

After all, he was getting older and it made sense that his mortality would eventually become an issue for him, especially given the reality that he had to die in order for the Avatar cycle to continue. That was an inescapable reality. However, having to die and having to die soon were two very different things and for that reason Aang didn't let the dream bother him nor did he burden Katara with the knowledge of it. He had a good 20 or 30 years left with his wife and children and grandchildren. There was no need to squander the precious time he had with them by obsessing over something he knew he couldn't control.

Presently, Aang mused over all of that as well as the highlights of their trip, invariably making very little progress in his packing efforts. Noticing his preoccupation, Katara heaved an exasperated sigh and snatched his shirt, which had been hanging forgotten from his fingers, from his grip in order to fold it. "I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with you," she huffed, butting him aside so that she could take over the task of gathering his clothing for herself.

He smirked at her. "I thought you said you weren't going to help me."

Katara growled at him, blue eyes narrowed in a warning glare. "Don't pretend like this wasn't your plan all along!"

"Can I help it if I'm not in as big a hurry to return home as you are?"

Catching the note of wistfulness in his tone, Katara frowned and straightened. "You sound like you don't want to go back," she murmured, "You do want to go back, don't you, Aang?"

Aang casually traced the carved post of the bed before shifting around to survey her with a thoughtful look. "What if I told you that I didn't?"

"You don't?" she asked, finding the notion altogether surprising, "But you love Republic City, Aang. It's our home. Why wouldn't you want to go back?"

"I do love it there and I have missed it," he admitted, reaching forward to tug her into his arms, "But I've also missed having this freedom with you. I've missed being able to go where we wanted to go when we wanted to go. This trip has been so incredible and I don't want it to end."

Katara wrapped her arms around his waist, snuggling into his arms with a contented sigh. "I don't want it to end either, but we have to go home some time."

"Do we?"

She flashed him with an ironic look. "You know we do. Why are you acting like it's the last thing you want to do?"

"I'm not saying that."

"Then what is it?" she urged, leaning back to regard him intently, "Are you feeling trapped or something? Is this some kind of mid-life crisis? Next thing I know you'll be trading in me and Appa for younger models."

Aang laughed at her sardonic muttering. "That will never happen. I'm not going to trade you and Appa in for younger models. I'm not having a mid-life crisis. And I'm not saying that I've felt trapped either," he told her, "But, I would be lying if I didn't say that the constant, predictable routine we had back in Republic City could be stifling at times. I needed to get out of there."

"Well, there's no reason why we can't shake that routine up every once in a while." Katara tipped her head back to offer him a small smile. "You're not resuming a prison term, Aang. We can take a leave of absence from Republic City whenever we want. Maybe we should make a habit out of getting away every now and then."

"You promise?"

"I don't see why we can't," she considered, "Plus we'll have the grandkids visiting on a regular basis so that's sure to shake things up too."

"I love it when they come to visit," Aang laughed, "It reminds me of when Kya and Bumi were small and they'd run around the house all crazy. Maybe we can even take the kids with us on some of our trips. Appa would love that."

Katara smiled. "I like that idea. Only we might not want to be gone for years at a time when we do it. That might not be so good. I think our kids might be grateful for the reprieve, but I doubt the Council would be too happy about it."

"I can't imagine why. Tenzin has been doing a fine job serving them in my absence and he's much better at it than I am," Aang replied, "Who says I shouldn't retire and just let him have the gig full-time?"

"He does," Katara countered wryly, "While it's nice of you to be so generous with your job, our son has a life and he's ready to get back to it, Aang. He and Lin are planning to go away together after we return."

"Go away together?" Aang frowned. "Wait. I thought they broke up."

"No, that was two months ago," Katara reminded him, shrugging out of his arms to return to her task, "They've reconciled since then." She threw a teasing look at him over her shoulder. "Try to keep up. Remember in Tenzin's last letter to us he said that they were trying to work things out and that they were planning to get away from Republic City for a while to do that. That's part of the reason why we need to get back home."

Having had his fantasy thoroughly shattered, Aang flopped back onto the bed with a dramatic groan. "Do you think those two will ever get their acts together?" he wondered.

Leaving off in her work for a moment, Katara climbed into the bed and stretched out beside him. "I don't know," she sighed, "I hope so."

Aang's mouth quirked in a smile as he thought back to something Roku had once told him long ago. "Love really is hard when you're young."

"Young? They're 26 years old, Aang," Katara pointed out.

"That's still young in my book."

Conceding his point, Katara exhaled a hefty sigh before shifting around to prop herself up onto her elbow so that she could peer down at him. She traced the line of the pale blue arrow on his forehead with her fingertip. "Do you think Tenzin and Lin are incompatible?"

Aang squinted up at her, capturing her hand and bringing it to his lips. "How do you mean?"

"Well, they've been fighting a great deal lately. They're constantly on again and off again and they rarely agree on anything. I know they love each other, but shouldn't things be a bit easier between them by now? They have been together over ten years."

"Hmm…it takes a while to work the kinks out," Aang considered with a shrug, "Look at us. We were still having our share of problems ten years into our marriage too, Katara. They'll work it out just like we did."

"It was different with us."

"How so?"

"Well, for one thing, we were married already. We had a family and we were progressing in our relationship."

"You don't think Tenzin and Lin are progressing?"

Rather than ponder an answer to that, Katara decided to turn the question back around on him. "Do you?"

It was evidently a difficult question to answer because Aang foundered for a bit in his attempt to give one. "I think they want to be with each other," he phrased carefully after a few moments, "and that desire is what compels them to stay together even though the circumstances between them aren't ideal."

"But don't you think they should be married by now or…or planning a family?"

Aang fixed her with a knowing smile. "Aren't you the one who is always telling me that our children have to do things on their own timetable and not ours?" he reminded her mildly.

"This isn't the same thing," Katara refuted, "I'm not trying to decide a life course for Tenzin. But I can see the longing in his eyes when he watches Kya and Bumi with their families. He wants children, Aang. He wants a family of his own. But Lin is not interested and never has been."

"She could change her mind," he ventured hopefully.

"We've been saying that for years now. You know she's not going to do that."

Aang nodded with a quiet sigh. "Yeah, I know."

Katara flopped onto her back and folded her hands across her belly, contemplating the satin canopy above their heads while also contemplating another unavoidable truth that had remained unspoken between her and Aang for years. "Our son is going to get his heart broken, isn't he?"

A beat of silence passed before Aang confirmed softly, "He is. They both are."

Although it wasn't anything Katara didn't already know, hearing the words aloud caused sorrowful tears to spring to her eyes. She resolutely blinked them back. "I hate that," she muttered gruffly, "I hate that for him and for her." She turned her head to regard Aang with a mournful expression. "I wanted them to make a life together."

Aang drew her close, hugging her to his side. "I wanted that too. But who knows? Tenzin might just decide that being with Lin is more important than having children and they will make a life together."

"But why does he have to decide that?" Katara demanded in a lamenting tone, "Why can't Lin bend on this? It's no small thing that she's expecting him to compromise on, Aang. This is about more than simply having a child. The future of his entire race depends on this. She had to know when she got involved with Tenzin that having children with him was a foregone conclusion."

"Katara, she was thirteen years old when they fell in love," Aang reminded her, "And as focused and driven as Tenzin has always been about the future, even he wasn't thinking about children back then. All he wanted was to be with her."

"Lin is a smart girl. She knew the implications."

"Okay, maybe she did," he conceded, "But why does that mean she had to resign herself to being a mother just because she fell in love with him?"

Katara made a face at him that clearly said his statement was the most ludicrous thing she had ever heard. "You're not seriously asking me that question, right?"

"Yeah, I seriously am," Aang declared succinctly, scooting around to face her with a slight frown. "Is that how you felt when you married me, Katara?" His features clouded over with dread. "Did you feel obligated to have children with me because I was the last airbender?"

She reached out to smooth away the creases in his forehead and pressed a loving kiss to his lips, soothing his anxiety with her touch. "No. I didn't feel obligated to have children with you, Aang. I wanted to have your babies. I wanted to have a family with you…because I loved you. And that's my point. Shouldn't Lin be inclined towards the same feelings? If she loves Tenzin as much as she says she does, then why wouldn't she want his children? Why wouldn't she want a family with him?"

"Katara, it's not fair to put those kinds of stipulations on her feelings or project what you think Lin should feel onto her," Aang murmured, "You and I both know that there's not much of anything that Lin wouldn't do for Tenzin."

"Except this," Katara whispered.

"We don't know what's going on inside of her heart. We shouldn't judge her."

"Okay. Maybe you're right," she conceded in a mumble, "I know it's not fair, but I can't help feeling this way, Aang. It's difficult for me to watch Tenzin be in pain and struggle so hard to make things work between him and Lin. I know he's a grown man but he's still my baby and I hate seeing him hurt. You would think that Lin would compromise just a little…"

"The same could be said about Tenzin. Compromise works both ways."

"And you seriously expect Tenzin to compromise?" Katara scoffed. When Aang lifted his shoulders in a noncommittal shrug, she cried, "He can't afford to do that, Aang! You know this already! Better than anyone. Lin doesn't have half as much to lose as he does."

"I don't think it's that simple."

"Do you really want for you and our son to be the only two airbenders left in the world ever?" Katara queried frankly, "Be honest with me."

"No," he admitted gruffly after some silence, "No, I don't want that. I never have. But," he tacked on quickly before Katara could use his answer as a springboard for her argument, "that doesn't mean that I think it's right to put that responsibility onto Lin's shoulders anymore than I would have put it onto yours. She didn't grow up the way Tenzin did and she doesn't see family the way he does. She's dealt with her father's abandonment her entire life. She watched Toph struggle and sacrifice as a single mother. We'll probably never know how those experiences shaped her views of love, marriage and family, but she is entitled to those views, Katara."

"Why do you always have to be so reasonable about this?" she grumbled, "Is it so wrong for me to want our son to be happy?"

"I'm not reasonable about it at all," he denied, "You don't think that I worry about it? I do. But if I truly let myself obsess about what's going to happen to my race and culture if Tenzin doesn't have a child, I'd become consumed with anxiety and frustration.

"I don't like what happened to my people," Aang continued fervently, "I don't like the part I played in what happened. But I can't let myself become eaten alive with a quest to undo the past because that's impossible…for me and for Tenzin. That's the quickest route to becoming self-absorbed and single-minded and I don't want to be that person. I don't want Tenzin to be that person."

"So he's supposed to just give it up…something he's dreamed about since he was a little boy?"

"If Lin is worth it to him, then yes," Aang emphasized, "Yes, he should give it up…and not look back."

"I can't believe you're saying this."

"It's not anything I wouldn't have done myself if I were in his place, Katara," he whispered, "If the choice had been between you and restoring airbenders to the world, I would have chosen you." He reached up to sweep away the lone tear that spilled over her lashes and down her cheek. "I'll always choose you."

She choked his name in a broken whisper, burying her face in the folds of his robe. "Don't say things like that."

"Why not?"

Katara pierced him with a fierce look. "Because I would never let you compromise yourself that way."

Aang smiled at her ferocity. "And you never know…maybe Lin won't allow Tenzin to compromise himself either," he murmured in return. "I don't know how it's going to work out for them in the end, but one thing that I have never doubted is that Lin loves Tenzin with all she has."

"I know that she loves him," Katara conceded, "I just don't know if it's enough."

"Unfortunately, that's not up to us to decide. It's up to Tenzin. We can't intervene, Katara. We have to let them figure this out on their own without our interference."

"Is that your way of saying that it's going to work out the way it's supposed to and we shouldn't worry?"

"No, you can still worry. I worry," he replied with an ironic smile, "What I'm saying is that this is one of those hard-knock life lessons that Tenzin has to endure in order to grow as a person and as a man. We can't shield him from it. In fact, to do so would be a disservice to him. And we also can't blame Lin because she isn't making it easy."

"I…just…I don't understand her at all, Aang," Katara sighed, "If I had been able to have more children, I would have in a second. There was a time after Tenzin was born…after the miscarriage when I wanted another child more than anything. I still struggle with the reality that I couldn't have more children to this day."

"And you feel like Lin is wasting an opportunity, is that it?"

Katara ducked her face to hide it from his view. "When you put it like that I sound incredibly judgmental, don't I?"

Aang pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "You sound human."

"It's not that I don't know that I'm being unreasonable when it comes to her," Katara mumbled against his chest, "I do know that, Aang. I know I'm projecting my disappointments onto Lin and punishing her for not making the decisions that I would have made if I were in her place. But, as much as I love her, I don't know how to stop resenting her."

Aang nudged her beneath her chin, coaxing her eyes to his. "It might help if you try forgiving yourself first, Katara."

She dropped her gaze, her features becoming shuttered as she brazened, "I don't know what you mean."

"You know exactly what I mean," he insisted softly, "Stop punishing yourself for the miscarriage and then maybe you can stop punishing Lin."

Katara stiffened at the charge, but she didn't bother to deny it. "I don't know how," she mumbled in a tear roughened voice.

"The same way you taught me," Aang whispered. Katara slowly lifted shimmering blue eyes to his earnest gray ones. "You never once let me blame myself for what happened to my people. You never called me out for being selfish and stupid because I ran away that night and didn't think about the consequences. You've never held me accountable for putting that kind of burden on our son."

"None of that was your fault, Aang," she breathed, her throat aching with the self-recrimination she heard in his tone, "Why would I blame you? And why would you blame yourself?"

"I could ask you the very same question," he countered, "Why is it that you can have so much compassion and understanding for me, but spare none for yourself, Katara?"

"It's not the same thing."

"It is the same thing. If you're guilty of failing me then I'm equally as guilty of failing you, even more so." When she tried to turn away from him, he held her fast, framing her face in his hands as he beseeched her, "Let it go, sweetie. Please. For me, Katara? You have to let it go."

There was an agonizing second when he thought she would push him away. But then her flinty expression crumpled in anguish and she buried her face in his chest with a choked sob. Her tears were muffled at first, as if she were trying to keep them at bay, but eventually her entire body began to jerk with the force of her anguish. She cried as if she was being ripped in two and Aang knew that it was a culmination of years of grief, regret and self-blame that she was purging. When it was over, she was left hiccupping into his chest, her fingers still twisted in his robes, clutching him close to her. Aang sifted his lips across the top of her head, not realizing that he was weeping himself until he felt the wetness moistening the sheets beneath his head.

"I'm sorry for losing control like that," she whispered when she finally found the courage to lift her head and meet his eyes.

He brushed away the clinging vestiges of her tears. "Don't apologize," he murmured, "You've been holding on to that for a while now…almost twenty-six years. It was way past time for you to let it out."

"Yeah. I guess it was."

"Do you feel better now?"

"I…I don't know if I'd describe it as 'better,' but I do feel unburdened," she admitted, "And I know you're right about everything you've said. I have been punishing Lin, even if it has only been in my mind, and that needs to stop."

"So what are you going to do to fix it?"

"I suppose I should give her the benefit of the doubt and keep in mind that Lin isn't me. I should appreciate the ways that she makes our son happy and not dwell so much on the ways she doesn't."

"I know this isn't easy for you. It's a complicated situation. But I know you'll work it out, Katara. And I know this because you're always the one who helps me work it out."

Eyes welling with fresh tears, Katara folded her arms across his chest and rested her chin atop her hands to regard him. "Don't you ever get tired of being so ridiculously understanding and pragmatic?" she sighed.

Aang flicked a lock of her hair playfully. "Actually, I do it to annoy you," he teased.

She shook her head in laughing exasperation. "You don't annoy me, Aang. You inspire me to be a better person."

"Well, we have that in common because you do the same for me. Your love humanizes me, Katara. It grounds me. I don't know if I could have survived the loss of my people without you…not with my humanity intact."

"You give me more credit than I deserve," she whispered.

"I don't think I give you enough," he whispered back.

Katara opened her mouth to argue further on that point when the large clock alongside the armoire began to chime loudly, signaling the dawn of a new hour. "Oh no!" Katara cried, jumping from the bed with a disappointed groan, "We're supposed to meet Zuko and Mai down in the courtyard in ten minutes to say goodbye and neither of us are packed yet!"

Aang stacked his hands behind his head to regard her with an amused smile. "You mean the queen of preparation is…" he paused to emit a mock gasp of alarm, "…unprepared? Well, this is quite shocking."

She wagged her finger at him menacingly. "This is your fault. You distracted me with all your cuddles and serious talk and emotional purging!"

Rather than pointing out to her that she had been the one to initiate the "serious talk," Aang swung upright and favored her with a gamine smile. "It's okay, sweetie," he soothed, "I'll be more than happy to help you finish packing and I won't even complain about it." His answer to that was a muttered curse and a face full of the shirt she had folded for him earlier. "Should I take that to mean you don't want my help?" Katara responded by telling him precisely what he could do to himself.

Despite her surliness, Aang grinned at her adoringly as she flounced about the room like a maddened thing, throwing their belongings haphazardly into their traveling bags. Even when she was bristling and irritable, she enthralled him. He felt himself fall in love with her all over again.

"Hey, Katara?"

Annoyed that he had yet to move from the bed to help her, Katara barely spared him a look as she huffed in reply, "What do you want, Aang?"

"I love you," he said quietly, "and I love us. I love who we are together…I love who I am when I'm with you." She froze in her tracks, her breath suspended as he added, "You know that, don't you?"

The words were so sweetly uttered, so genuine that Katara couldn't maintain her annoyance with him, not when he was looking at her in that melting manner that he always looked at her. With her mood shifting again, Katara capriciously left off her frantic efforts to pack then and practically skipped across the room to crawl into his lap. She straddled him with a contented sigh.

"Yeah, I know," she whispered, "But I never get tired of hearing it."

"Well that's a good thing then," Aang laughed as he pulled her down for a kiss, "because I never get tired of saying it."

~End~