Notes: Yes, Daryl is a jerk! He says some not nice things when he doesn't know how to deal with what he's feeling he relies on anger. I get it that maybe we want to see Daryl start to be a little nicer with River, and this is the start of my big ol' attempt to to fix that while hopefully not taking him OOC. For the record though, that doesn't mean he won't still be a complete ass from time to time. Anyhow, please review and let me know if I'm moving this in the right direction or not or if I go too OOC.

Also, happy chapters coming up soon. I promise. Maybe not next one, but as soon as I can work it in. Zombie apocalypses can't be all bad.

Leyshla Gisel: He should be. I'd like him to be. But look at all the shit he said to Carol after Sophia died. That was far more cruel than anything he said to River. Also thanks for pointing out my inconsistency. I'd planned to have the kids playing before Sophia went missing and forgot to put it in. Brain slip. Fixed it.

Emberka-2012: I think we'll start to see some changes.

Dalonega Noquisi: Total pet peeve of mine too, I had to stick it in there. Personally it really irks me when Daryl says it in the show, but it's Daryl, so I'll forgive him ;)

Chapter 26: Saying Goodbye

Sophia was still missing. Her trail had gone cold. Not even Liam could track her. The small search party had resolved to retire for the night as there was no longer sufficient enough light to look for sign in the woods. Tomorrow they would mount a full scale search. In the mean time, Jason had been buried and it was time to say goodbye.

The sun was setting as the group of survivors gathered for Jason's memorial. The sky streaked with red and pink, the light fading quickly.

"I thought we could say a few words," Dale suggested as everyone congregated around the fresh grave. All eyes were on the ground as people waited for Dane and River to speak.

Dane stood teary-eyed, looking at the ground as he spoke. "I know to most of you my brother seemed shy and awkward, but given time he would have warmed up. I wish you all would have had the chance to see the real him, the same JJ that I saw," he paused, choking on his words.

"He was goofy, fun, and the most loyal friend you could ever ask for. He'd go to the end of the earth for the people he cared about without so much as a second thought. JJ always put his friends first."

River shuffled her feet, staring at her toes. How many times had Jason sacrificed for her? More times than she could count. It should have been the other way around. Now she would never have the chance to repay him.

Daryl stood back, leaning on an old, rusty Chevy. Just another truck in the graveyard. With his arms crossed over his chest he watched River out of the corner of his eye. Jason had been like family to her. It wasn't like he didn't have any idea what she was going through. Those same emotions had struggled to the surface when he thought his brother was dead, left to be Walker chow on some rooftop in Atlanta. He just didn't know what to say to her. Besides, he'd royally screwed it up earlier and doubted she'd ever want to talk to him again.

"To say that I will miss my brother would be a gross understatement," Dane continued. "I feel like a part of me, a huge part of me, has died. But you know what JJ's last words to me were? Life doesn't end just 'cause bad shit happens. That's what I told him when our father hung himself, and I would be a hypocrite to think the same words didn't apply to me now." Dane's gaze briefly met with Andrea's, then she looked away.

Andrea thought back to the CDC. She was still angry with Dale. Him and Dane both expected her to feel guilty for wanting to end her life. With Dane and Jason she saw the old scars caused to those around a suicide. That's not what she wanted for Dale, who cared deeply for her and her sister. She just didn't know how to do it, how to keep on keeping on.

Dane turned to the grave and hung his head. "I love you brother."

"I think we were starting to see that side of JJ that Dane was talking about," Rick picked up where Dane left off. Shane nodded in agreement. "While I wish we all could have had that time to get to know him better, I also feel lucky that I got to know him at all. We won't forget him."

A few others said their goodbyes and some kind words. Still River was left sulking off to the side of the grave. Not a word had passed her lips.

"River, don't you want to say anything?" Dale asked encouragingly.

"He's dead. He can't hear me," River stated abruptly. Dane's expression grew pained. River was the only real friend besides him that his brother had had for most of his life, but he knew she would deal with his death in her own way and in her own time.

"It's not for Jason," Dale explained kindly. "It's for the rest of us. It's for you." Speaking about the dead was an important step in finding peace and closure. River turned and walked away.

Slowly the group dispersed. Next to the RV, Carl kicked around a soccer ball that Dane had picked up at the IKEA. He played by moonlight. There was no fire for fear that it would be too easy to spot on the highway. The rest of the group milled about in a somber mood. Many found places to sit, tensely counting down the hours until daylight.

"I think I'm going to hit the sack," Dane mumbled almost immediately.

"Really?" Lori asked. "It's so early." The reality was if she thought she could sleep, she would be doing the same.

Dale looked the young man over sympathetically. "It's been a rough day."

Dane nodded and stopped next to River. "Are you... Uh..."

"No. I think I'll crash out here with Liam tonight," River told him. Somehow the tent seemed too large. Too empty. The space where Jason would normally lay would haunt her.

"Okay. Goodnight Tom."

"Night Dane," River reached up and gave him a hug.

Daryl had been practically ignoring her since the incident at the IKEA store. River didn't know what to make of it. Finally she'd thought she knew what he was thinking, how he felt about her. Now she wasn't so sure. One thing for certain, she was determined to find out. She wasn't about to let Daryl Dixon push her away this time.

Casually she walked over to where he was perched, sitting on a stray tire that was laying on the road. River couldn't help but wonder how it got there. Had someone been changing a flat when they were attacked by Walkers, their spare just rolling away down the lonesome highway. Maybe the highway was packed back then. The hysteria and the masses taking to the roads hadn't entirely faded from her mind. She remembered how crazy it had been. How they thought they could wait it out by going camping. It had seemed perfectly reasonable at the time. Things had changed so much since then.

River plunked herself down on the pavement next to him without a word. Daryl ignored her and continued cleaning his crossbow. Gently and meticulously he wiped down every nook and cranny removing any dirt or grime. River watched him as he worked. He was tense. She could see the knots in his neck and shoulders. Stress tension. River could only imagine the headache it was causing him.

They sat a long while in silence. The more time passed the more Daryl's eyes darted nervously towards River. "I hope ya ain't expecting no apology," Daryl drawled breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"'Course not," River replied in her mock southern accent. "God forbid Daryl Dixon say he's sorry."

Not sure what to make of her answer Daryl eyed her suspiciously. "Don't got nothin' to say I'm sorry for," he insisted. There was an in-congruency between his words and his eyes as he tried to convince himself he'd done no wrong. "Sophia was missin'. No point wastin' daylight sittin' an watchin' o'er some corpse while she's still out there," he explained. Damn her for making him feel like he had to justify himself.

River could accept that as apology enough. One step at a time with this southern boy. Closing her eyes for a moment she sighed. When she opened them River stared up at Daryl with her big green eyes. "Look Daryl, I don't expect an apology. I don't expect you to stop being a jerk," she told him.

Daryl winced. He knew what was coming. She was going to tell him how much she hated his guts. He deserved it. It was like Merle had always told him. Ain't no one gonn' want you. Whatcha got to offer? Nothin'. Sooner or later any bitch gonn' realize that the truth. He'd tried to protect her, and failed. The bruises hadn't even faded yet. River didn't need him to supply food or shelter. Didn't need him at all.

"I like you," River told him again, hoping it might sink in or he might give her some sort of reaction. "I'll take the good with the bad. But you know what?" she continued. "Just because I can take your shit, doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. Believe it or not, I do have feelings."

As Daryl quickly looked away, River caught a glimpse of something changing in his hardened face. Whatever he'd been expecting, whatever he'd been preparing for hadn't happened. He was taken off-guard and his face twisted as he tried to figure it out.

"Why?" Daryl asked. Why couldn't she just tell him he was worthless and she wanted nothing to do with him like every other woman he'd ever been interested in. Why didn't she hate him.

"Because I'm a human fucking being," River gaped at him. "And human beings have feelings."

"No," Daryl said. "I meant..."

River waited, watching him expectantly.

"Never mind," Daryl growled.

Frustrated, River sighed. "You've been cleaning that thing for hours," she observed, exaggerating slightly as she moved behind Daryl.

Daryl shifted his weight uncomfortably, trying to keep River in his peripheral vision. "So?"

River shrugged. "So, I think it's probably clean, eh?" she told him. "It's Sophia isn't it? That's what's got you in such a foul mood." Trying to get him to open up to her at all was like pulling teeth.

Daryl said nothing. That was part of it. River was also part of it. She stirred so many emotions in him that he couldn't name let alone know how to deal with.

"It wouldn't kill you to admit you care about what happens to her," River told him, shaking her head.

"She's jus' a little girl," Daryl confessed. "Ain't got no idea how to survive out in the wilderness." He'd been lost once. Only he knew something about surviving. Of course, when he'd been missing no one had went out looking for him. Maybe that's why he felt such a need to look for her. In finding Sophia he could fix himself.

"We'll find her," River said with certainty. "Hell, you're a better tracker than Liam and the rest of us combined. If anyone's going to find her, you will." Instead of relaxing at her calm and assuring words Daryl tensed further. River reached down, taking the mess of knotted shoulder muscles in her hand. Daryl stood up and wheeled around so quickly he startled River and sent her backwards onto her ass.

"Fucking hell, Dixon!" River shouted in surprise, gaining the unwanted attention of the rest of the camp. "What is wrong with you?"

All Shane saw when he turned towards River's voice was River on the ground and Daryl standing over her in an aggressive stance. The former deputy jumped up and was over to them before anyone knew what was happening.

"There a problem here?" Shane demanded.

"Nope." Daryl said, not taking his eyes off River.

"River?" Shane asked not willing to take the redneck's word for it.

River stood, dusting herself off. "Everything's fine, Shane."

Not satisfied, Shane grabbed River by the arm and pulled her aside. "Did that douchebag hit you?" he demanded. "Did he hurt you?" Shane had seen enough of Daryl's volatility and anger. As far as Shane cared to see it he took after his older brother Merle, the biggest douchebag of them all. It wouldn't surprise him in the slightest if he'd gone after River.

Daryl stood up. "I can hear ya, ya know," he scoffed.

"Wasn't talking to you," Shane blew him off, his eyes not moving from River.

Disgusted by the accusation, River pulled away. "No. He would never." Daryl's mouth twitched upwards for just a second and he swallowed involuntarily.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

Daryl glared. "Jackass. I ain't never hit a woman."

"How 'bout Merle, Merle ever hit a woman?" Shane taunted trying to get a reaction. Daryl's mouth pressed into a tight line and his face twitched. "I've had my eyes on you. You think I don't know you got the same temper as that racist white trash piece of shit brother of yours. Don't try and tell me you don't have it in you."

"That's not fair, he's not his brother," River jumped in.

"You would defend him," Shane sneered. "What you see in this asshole and his douchebag brother is beyond me."

"Daryl's a good guy. How can't you see that?" River asked. Daryl went out of his way to make sure the group ate. He was out there looking for Sophia. He kept watch and protected them. All for a group that had made it perfectly clear what they thought of him. She couldn't understand why Shane hated him so much.

Shane's eyes narrowed as they darted from River to Daryl and back again. "Fine, have it your way," he said bitterly. "But don't say I didn't warn you." With that he stalked off.

River stared after Shane as he made his way back towards the Winnebago. "What the hell was that about?" she asked finally, turning back to Daryl. He was gone. And I'm not even drinking this time, she thought to herself.

Daryl sat back with his hands behind his head. Carl had given up his game of soccer ages ago and gone into the Winnebago to sleep. The last of the grown-ups had finally retired too. Now it was just Daryl, alone on top of the RV. It was his turn to keep watch.

Stretched out under the station wagon with a sleeping bag and her dog was River. From where he was perched Daryl had a clear view. No Walker would be able to get to her without him seeing it first. Right beside him sat his crossbow. He was ready.

His mind kept drifting back to earlier. The things he'd said to her had been, while not untrue, callous. Yet River forgave him. She had faith in him. She had stood up for him. She liked him fine the way he was. I'll take the good with the bad, she'd said. Daryl ran a hand through his hair. Maybe Merle didn't know what the hell he was talking about. Maybe he ought to stop trying to push River away.

Yawning to the rising sun, River arched her back and stretched away sleep. When she went to sit up she bumped her head on the under side of the station wagon. Another lump to add to the collection, she thought as she rubbed her head. Although it was a new day, the constant gnawing emptiness in the pit of her soul remained. River wondered if it would ever go away.

Crawling out from her makeshift bed, she found the other's already organizing the search party. Daryl was in the lead. About time someone acknowledged his capabilities beyond just putting food on the table.

"Sorry, I slept in and no one woke me," River apologized as she joined the others. "What's the plan? When do we leave?"

"We thought you could use the rest," Rick replied.

"Well, I'm all rested now," River assured him.

"Actually, we thought it would be best if you stayed here with Dale and T-Dog in case Sophia returns while we're out looking for her."

River sleepily rubbed at her eyes. She must be more tired than she realized as what Rick was saying didn't make sense. "Well, if T-Dog and Dale are already staying there's really no point in me hanging around," she reasoned. "I'll be more use out searching with the rest of you."

"No," Daryl said firmly.

River huffed impatiently. "Pardon?"

"Yer not comin'."

"Why the hell not?"

"Lookit yerself!" Daryl shouted, growing frustrated. "Ya need to rest an' heal. Gonna go pull out those damn stitches runnin' around." His sharp blue eyes scanned the bruises still visible from when she was captured and his eyes lingered where he knew she was sewn up under her shirt. "'Sides, can't risk ya gettin' hurt again," he added more softly, his gaze averted from her.

River couldn't help but smile. "Hell Dixon, that might be the nicest thing you've ever said to me, eh?" She laughed but Daryl didn't think it was funny. The worst part was, it was probably true.