Chapter Twenty-Six
Hahahaha! Negan was great! Who knew he could sing?!
Negan: It's a natural talent.
Yeah, it-WAIT A FUCK. What are you still doing here?
Negan: Uhhh….
And what is the cast of Thunderbird, Grayson, and Lego Batman: The Douche Knight still doing here?!
Robin: Well, since we haven't had jobs in a while, our homes were foreclosed.
Thunderbird: So, we figured we could crash here!
Fine. There's another floor where you can all stay until I give you jobs. Also, you can only stay on two conditions: one, you all have to get normal jobs in the meantime.
Lee: For example, one of you lovely ladies can star in my porno movies! Especially you, Thunderbird.
Thunderbird: Excuse me?
Two, Negan has to sing.
Negan: WHAT?!
GO!
Negan: Uh… uh…
SING!
Negan: Fuck it, I got nothing.
Oh, come on. Surely, you've got something.
Negan: Uh, a little help, guys?
Lee: I've got something. It's mostly a song that gives me an excuse to talk about some TITTAYS! TITTAYS! TITTAYS!
Lee and Negan: AYSS, TITTIES. AYSS, AYSS, AND TITTIES! AYSS, TITTIES. AYSS, AYSS, AND TITTIES!
*Negan rips off his shirt, and throws it at Carley, who throws it away in disgust. Then, there's twerking. LOTS AND LOTS OF TWERKING.*
THREE HOURS LATER
Well, I'm impressed. Everyone, go find a room. Also, how do you like your coffee in the morning? Black, or white? Also, why is Negan here again?
Negan: I just like it, here.
Lee: Has anyone seen Carley?
Bill: I saw her in my bed last night!
Vader: You liar!
Bill: I was talking about por-
Kenny: Don't. Finish. That sentence.
Lilly: I think Carley went to her room. Why?
Lee: I need to borrow five bucks.
*He goes to Carley's room.*
Lee: HOLY MOTHER OF EMMA WATSON!
*Everyone runs in and sees Carley has been decapitated, her arms and legs cut off, and guts scattered around the room.*
Goblin: I'm gonna be sick!
*Runs to the bathroom to puke.*
Lee: Carley, WHHHHHHHYYYYYYY!
Becca: Who could have done this!?
Vader: I think I know.
*He turns to Kenny.*
Kenny: WHAT?!
Lee: YOU! YOU KILLED MY GIRL! I'LL KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! We need solid proof that Kenny would kill Carley. I mean, what motivation does he have?
Lee: Well, he… uh… he's… eh, I got nothing. But, I'm still gonna beat him up!
Kenny: WHAT?!
*Lee punches Kenny in the face, and then, he and Goblin grab his body, and drag him to the closet.*
Bill) I have an idea for your band's name! How does Muchacha sound?
Bill: Say that one more time, and I will rip your dick off.
*Clem's spaceship lands on the swamps of Dagobah.*
Clementine: Man, this place smells like the Interviews' bathroom!
Yoda: Smell like a bathroom, my home does not! Smell like a bathroom, you do!
Clementine: Ahh!
*Falls off of the ship and lands in swamp water.*
Yoda: Ehehehe!
Clementine: I take it you're Yoda?
Yoda: Indeed. Yoda, I am.
Clementine: I have come to learn the ways of the Force. Will you teach me?
*Yoda walks over and touches Clem's forehead.*
Yoda: Hmm.
Clementine: What are you-
*Yoda pinches Clem's nose.*
Clementine: OW!
Yoda: Teach you, I cannot. Too much of a Scumbag, you are.
Clementine: What?! But, I came all this way!
Yoda: Teach you alone, I cannot. In order to be a perfect Force user, learn both ways, you should. The light.
Darth Sideous: And the Dark.
Clementine: Emperor Palpatine?! I thought you two were enemies!
Palpatine: In my final moments, I saw the error of my ways, and found peace with myself and the Force. It was on Robot Chicken.
Clementine: Is Robot Chicken even canon?
Darth Sideous: No, but it's funny. Anyway, that's beyond the point. So, are you in, or out?
Clementine: I'm in. Definitely.
Yoda: Then train you, we will. When you return to Earth…
*He hands Clementine something metallic, and shaped like a sword hilt. She presses a button on it, and ignites a blue-bladed lightsaber.*
Yoda: A Jedi-
Sideous: Or Sith-
Yoda and Sideous: A Force-user, you will be.
Clementine: Okay. Awesome. When do we start?
Everybody, RUN! It's a SHARKNADO!
Sorry, I never saw the movie, I don't know what that is.
*A strange man steals everyone's porn and burns it, all the while laughing.*
Lee: MOTHERFUCKER! THAT PORN WAS RARE!
Bill: THAT PORN WAS OF CARLEY!
Lee: Okay, we know it wasn't Kenny who killed Carley.
Kenny: I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T ME!
Goblin: If it wasn't Captain Ugly, then who did it?
Lee: Carley, believe it or not, had a lot of enemies. We need to do an investigation!
Luke: Where do we start?
Lee: I know a place! TO MCDONALD'S!
Goblin: You're joking.
Lee: No, I just need a Big Mac!
Thunderbird: Oh, for crying out loud! IT WAS ME!
Lee, Goblin, Luke, and Kenny: WHAAAAAAA-
What the deuce?!
Thunderbird: You haven't updated our story in two months! So, I decided to punish you!
By killing a minor supporting character at best?
Thunderbird: Well… uh… yeah?
God, I wrote you horribly.
Author's Note: At the end of all of my chapters, I'm going to ask a question to my readers, just to get to know you guys a little more! So, for my first question: what are some of your favorite movies? Also, I've been thinking about making one big crossover story of all my stories, and having them be trapped in a mansion for a week. What do you think? Anyway, thank you all for reading, please leave a review, and, as always, take care, and I'll see you next time! For now, I'm the Flying Hawaiian 001, and I'm going to play Dishonored 2!