(Okay, I don't own. If you are a Christian, and easily offended, skip the Jesus joke. After the stuff I've endured at the hands of Catholic evangelicals, I am not a huge fan of the Jeebus Squad. Sorry. Anyway, I GOT 100+ REVIEWS!!!!!!!
Thank you so much, all my loyal reviewers! And Galbinus-Rayquaza, my 100th. Go read her stories; she's a really good writer who writes both Hoenn and Contest shipping. YAY!)
I glare at him for a bit, and then decide to actually pay attention to Drew's Appeal. I stare at Roselia. That thing always reminded me of a junkie. No, I'm serious. S/he had these narrowy, lazy, stoned-looking eyes. And it was just CREEPY.
Roselia performed with Petal Dance, and then suddenly produced a complete rose. Drew waltzed over to May, and gently placed the rose in her hand. "Awww..." Harley's sentiment and mine were echoed by the crowd. I grinned, as May Appealed, rose in her hand, and blushing.
"That'll be us someday." Harley remarks. I jump. "What?!" I yelp. He sees my face, and says, "Nothing, nothing!"
But he sighs, and I see the sadness in his face. So I hug him. And we stay like that, just hugging each other until it's time for my Appeal.
I rush out, and grab Ace's pokeball. "Ace-face, spotlight! Up!" I yell. She soars above, so close to the ceiling that I brush it with my fingertips. "Dragonbreath!" I yell. She spews purplish-blue flames at the floor. "Catch me." I whisper, and jump off. But she doesn't, for a long time, so close I can almost touch the flames, so close I—
She's caught me, and we're flying back into the wings. I hug her neck, and slide off. I walk back to my spot, and sit next to Harley, and watch a few appeals. The pokemon all seem as tense as their trainers. I finger Erose's pokeball, and hope he's stronger than he looks.
Harley is before me; he fights a girl with a Granbull, and for once, Wigglytuff is out-psychoed. This thing ignores everything but whatever it can bite. "Sweet Jesus, Harley, DO SOMETHING!!" Wigglytuff roars as he's chased by the Granbull. Harley sweatdrops.
"Uhh..." Wigglytuff sees his master's going to be of no help, and produces a pair of brass knuckles from god-knows-where. "MEGA PUNCH, BITCH!!" Wigglytuff roars. Slamming both fists into the Granbull's face, he faints, and Wigglytuff is declared the winner. I can't do anything but crack up.
It's eventually my turn. I toss Erose's pokeball thoughtfully, as my opponent comes out. She seems simple enough; a peaceful, brown-haired girl. "Hi!" I wave. She smiles, and throws a pokeball. "Let's go, Croconaw!" I smile. I have the type advantage. Plus, Erose is crazy.
"Erose, go! Let's use, uh, Razor Leaf!" I yell. He's way ahead of me. As the girl orders Croconaw to use Water Gun, Erose has already struck. He leaps back. "Vine Whip!" I call.
"Use Bite!" The girl orders her pokemon. The blue crocodile opens his mouth, and lunges towards Erose. I nod at him to stay there. The Croconaw's jaws close around his bulb, and then I strike. "Seed Bomb!" I order him. Grinning, he unleashes a machine-gun fire of seeds into the Croconaw's maw.
The Croconaw lets go, as his trainer says, "Hydro Pump!" I shake my head. "Vine Whip! Around his legs." Erose grins maniacally, and cinches the vines tight. He does the side-to-side bash so often seen in cartoons.
"MUHAHAHA! GO, MY PLANT POSSE!" He roars like a crazy person. I sigh. "Let go, Erose. Now." He groans, but complies, releasing the Croconaw.
Teetering, the Croconaw wobbles as if drunk, and then stumbles, about to fall. "One last time! Let's use Leech Seed!" He nods, and shoots out little seeds that burst on the Croconaw, and give Erose energy.
The clock dings—the crowd's cheering, and I've won. I'm going to the Grand Festival.
I get presented with my ribbon, and silently, I stick it in my case gently. I don't speak again until we've headed out of the hall.
Then I turn to Harley, and tell him, "I am pwning your ass in this Festival. Just thought you'd like to know." He laughs.
"You only wish, dollface! I'm the better Coordinator out of the two of us." I kick him, and pout. "I got five Ribbons." He produces his case. "Dollface, so did I."
We clamber onto Szeren, and head right out of Mossdeep, straight back to Lilycove.
'Now is the time for my plans to come to fruition.' Wigglytuff mutters. "What?" Harley asks his pokemon. "Nothing, it's nothing!"
It was something, however. And as we'd find out later that night, not something good.
-Third Person POV-
"Alright, people. You know our mission." Wigglytuff announced solemnly. "I am sick of seeing those two give goo-goo eyes at each other. You can hear the hormones bubble. We are here today to hook two teenagers up, horny and in love. We are getting Lucy and Harley together. Even if it kills you." The others stare in pure horror.
"But not me. You're all expendable. I, however, need to take over the world someday, therefore, cannot die." He finishes.
Zero, however was unsure about Wigglyuff's plans. The great tiger dog was loyal to his master, goddess bless him, and voiced his doubts. "But if Lucy doesn't want to be Harley-friend's mate, then she knows best. We should not interfere." Cacturne rolled an eyeball in his direction.
"From how they've behaved so far, we can't trust them to figure this out on their own. Trust me, I've known him the longest; Harley's head is harder than a Relicanth's. We have to listen to Wigglytuff, or those two will end up exploding from unrequited love." He finished.
Banette, Octillery, and Ariados all agreed with these sentiments about their trainer, effectively throwing him under the bus. The metaphorical one. There is no real bus, because if there was, Harley would be dead, and his pokemon would be murdering, psychopathic fucks. Yeah.
Wigglytuff nodded. "So it's settled. You guys in this?" He was addressing May and Drew's pokemon. Masquerain nodded. "Any way we can help, we will." Wigglytuff rubbed his furry paws together.
"Good, good. Well, here's our plan. We make reservations at some fancy-ass restaurant, and send them each a letter telling the other to meet them there. Roselia, I need roses, stat." S/he nods, and produces six or seven on each hand in various colors.
"Great. Erose, bind these things with Vine Whip." The plant dinosaur nods, and ties the roses together. "Alright, now. Who's making the reservations?" All eyes were on Wigglytuff.
"You know, just... fuck you, alright?!" He mutters. He sighs in exasperation at their stupidity. "Get me a phone." Zero clamps Lucy's cell gently in his jaws, and pads over to Wigglytuff, placing the cherry-colored phone into Wigglytuff's waiting paw.
Curling his... finger...things... around it, he dialed the number for La Bella Lilycove. 'Yes, hello. I'd like to place a reservation under the name... Davidson, Harley. Great. Thanks." Wigglytuff hangs up the phone. "Thank god for Translators."
He organizes the other pokemon into executing his plans. With this dedication, he really might take over the world someday.
-Lucy's POV-
Well, this is just great. We have no idea where the pokemon are. Everyone's gone. I sigh, and reach for my cell phone. But it isn't there. "Oh, fuck." I mutter angrily.
"What's wrong?" Drew asks. I snarl angrily, ready to kill someone. "My fuckin' cell phone's gone! Where could it be—" I yell, annoyed, until I see Eevee pad up to me with my phone in her mouth. "Bless you, fox." I grab the phone, and see the text message sign pop up. "What the..." I open it.
'From: Harley
To: Dollface
Dearest, I was wondering if you would meet me at La Bella Lilycove for dinner. Just you and I. See you there!
Mwah,
Harley'
I blink. "Well, um. That's... nice..." Szeren growls, "Do it!" at me. And I do not want to mess with a Charizard obviously hellbent on this. I nod. "Okay..." I shut the phone. And like anyone else who was in love, I immediately stressed about what to wear.
Unbeknownst to me, Harley was receiving the same message, delievered by Wigglytuff. "Uh, my Pokenav!? Where'd you find that?" He asked incredulously. Wigglytuff pressed it into his hand. "Message? From... Lucy?" He flipped open the bit of machinery, and scrolled down.
'Hey Harley,
I made reservations at La Bella Lilycove, for the two of us! See you there! Six o'clock, okay?
--Lucy'
He shut the phone. "Well. I..." As Wigglytuff walked away in triumph, Harley squealed, "WHAT AM I GONNA WEAR?!!"
It was five o'clock. And I was desperate. So I went to the only other girl I knew.
"May, for the love of Jesus, you have to help me." I groaned, slumping against a wall in the Pokemon Center. She sighed.
"Aww, how adorable! He asks you out, just in time for Christmas!" I jump. It is Christmas. In... I check my cell. "December twentieth. Holy crap." I gape. "Okay, great. So what do I do to, you know, look good...?"
Pathetic as it sounds, it's not like I ever had to impress anyone, what with my stunning looks, sex appeal, and great personality or anything.
Right. I was so fucked.
May was lecturing me intently. "No heavy eyeshadow. You'll look like a raccoon. A bit of light eyeliner, especially with your eyes. Okay, now. Clothes. Whatcha got?" I sheepishly held up a pair of pants, and a black top.
"I used all my dresses in the Contest. Don't kill me." She sighs, and fingers the design on the shirt. Little red things that look a bit like hearts... until you get close. They're dead rats, each with a custom pool of blood!
Yeah, I'm crazy.
She sighs in exsperation. "Oh, great. Well, put it on! We've got makeup and hair to do!"
Five-thirty.
I am fully convinced this woman is trying to kill me.
"Ouch! Fucking EYE here!" I wail, as May applies eyeliner. "Hold still!" She snaps.
"I would, if you didn't POKE ME constantly!" I shriek back. She yanks out a straightener. "You haven't brushed your hair in days."
It's a statement. A dangerous one.
"GET AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT THING!!!"
For now, let's go to Harley...
-Harley's POV-
Argh! Nothing to fucking WEAR! "Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck... just... ARGH!" I bang my head against the wall. Makeup is out of the question. I am NOT asking Drew to help me, either. For two reasons; one, he is idly doodling a picture of his beloved and most esteemed May darling; two, I really do NOT want to bring this up.
So I am merely content to swear angrily, as Drew ignores me best as the arrogant bastard can. I decide, finally, to rifle through my bag for clothes. I find some decent shirts, but my finger brush against something. Something flat. Pulling it out, I note in horror... it's a condom.
'Love, Sarah.'
...God smite me now.
Shoving it back in my bag at the speed of sound, I yank out a pair of pants before rushing off to change. "I am going to kill my mother." I mutter angrily, as I yank on the clothes.
"Let he who is without sin be the first to condemn." I mutter, in frustration and annoyance. I've played my share of pranks, after all.
I hear a –pop!-, and a burst of trumpet music. There's a man standing there, entirely in white. I blink.
"Holy crap, JESUS?! What the hell are you doing here!?" (1) I shriek. Seriously. Fuckin' fic.
"I'm everywhere." He poofs off before I can open my mouth. But when I find my voice, I just say, "Perv."
Yeah, I'm going to hell.
-Lucy's POV-
Six o'clock.
May wasn't too bad, after all. The straightener caused some screaming, but nothing much. I'm used to it. So now, to wait for Harley. As if on cue, he bursts in, and I quirk an eyebrow. He's... normal. His Cacturne outfit is gone, replaced by a simple tight black shirt, and a pair of jeans. And he looked good. Hips swaying, he raises an eyebrow. "Lovely dead rats you've got there."
"Go to hell." I mutter. He grins at me, the bastard. "Love you too, dollface." Fuming, he gets us seated, and immediately begins to ask why the hell I brought him here. I blink.
"You sent me a message saying you wanted me here." I open my cell phone and show him. He gapes. "...But I, I got one from you! What the hell..." I shake my head.
"I don't know what happened, but since you're here, we might as well stay." An awkward silence descends. I really don't know what to say, but my mouth doesn't care about that.
"What were you like when you were a kid?" I blurt out. He blinks.
"Oh... right, you just got here! You know, it seems like you've always been here with me." He burns bright red as he says this. "Anyway, uh, so... well, when I was nine or so, I went out exploring in the desert around Route 111. I stepped in a puddle of quicksand, and Cacturne saved me. Well, he was a Cacnea then, but you get my point. He agreed to come with me when I turned ten."
I giggle at the picture of Harley being saved by a midget Saguaro cactus. Wait. I just giggled. EWWW! I'm turning into, I don't know, some preppy little Gabriella/Hannah Montana clone!! ARGH!!! Harley continues, unawares of my agony.
"And I found Wigglytuff at a breeding center. He wasn't adopted because he was a dude, and I liked his insanity. Banette was orginally a Shuppet." He smiles to himself. "He was so shitty as scaring people. I had to love the little spook." He twirls his straw.
"And Octillery just randomly attacked me while I was swimming. He tried to hug me in the water." He and I both laughed picturing that. He straightens.
"And Ariados was from cleaning out the attic. He was holed up near my mom's old shit." He sighed happily, remembering good times.
"How did you know you want to be a Coordinator?" I ask. He shrugs. "It just suited me. The lights, the sounds, the battle, and the beauty. Besides, they already called me a fag." He dismisses this with a wave of his hand. "Homophobic assholes."
"They do it on Earth too." I snarl. He shakes his head. "IT hurts, doesn't it? But that's not the point. May we enjoy ourselves?" I jump. Dinner's arrived. As we sit and eat, he asks me, "So, how'd you start? I know it's weirder circumstances, but I do want to know."
I tell him, "Well, Szeren was my first. Then Whiplash the Glitchicate, and Vita the alcoholic, and the others. I had a pretty average journey, for the games." He blinks at me.
"Says the girl who's beaten the Champ in each reigon." I blush. "Oh, right, well..." I am tongue-tied. I don't know why, but it sucks.
We sit in silence, but this time, it's a comfortable one. "Lucy, I well, I..." Harley takes a breath. "Well, since I met you, I have always felt you were, well, special, and uh... what I'm trying to say is, I uh, well, uh, I..."
My phone rings.
"Goddamnit!" I pick it up. Harley's eye is twitching. "Saxon here." I listen to Drew on the other line, and nod. Hanging up, I turn to Harley. "Right. Well, whatever you had to say is gonna have to wait. We've gotta go." Throwing some money on the table, I breeze out.
"Wait!" Harley calls after me. He sighs.
"I was going to tell you I loved you."
(1: Okay, so? It's randomly funny. I am not a huge fan of most Christian people. Some? Nice. Others? Homophobic assholes who try to make women's live miserable. So I have a laugh as Jeebus' expense. Don't kill me.)