A/N: Sorry this took so long. I had major writers block. And I still kind of do but I managed to get this out and technically since FF runs on Pacific time this was out on Wednesday ;) I'm not too excited about this chapter, it's definitely not my best. I have maybe 6-8 more chapters planned before I wrap this up. Maybe more. I'm not very good at gauging event in chapter form. But after this chapter time is going to be moving a bit faster.
Anyways enjoy and review if you please.
When she awakes the second time the drugs have worn off and she comes into awareness much more steadily. She opens her eyes to be blinded by the bright white lights of the hospital and blinks away the pain and annoyance. The grogginess slowly dissipates as she takes in her surroundings a little. She notices the tubing in her chest and the light throbbing pain in her chest and remembers she just had heart surgery. Then she faintly remembers Maura's voice and turns her head to notice a body next to her.
She sees Maura's head lying on her bed, her hand still in Jane's while she sleeps peacefully. Jane smiles at the image before her wondering how a grown woman could look so positively adorable and absolutely gorgeous at the same time. But that is just how Maura Isles is.
"Cute isn't it?" She hears whispered from across the room and lifts her head to see Julia lounging in another chair. "She had you placed in a private room. Pretty cozy huh?" Julia jokes.
"How'd she get here?" Jane asks as quietly as she can so as not to wake the sleeping blonde.
"She drove all night according to Angela. Poor thing's probably exhausted. She wouldn't sleep until you made it out of surgery." Julia explains.
Jane smiles at the thought of Maura driving ten hours in her Prius just to see her and looks down at the slumbering woman with all the love she has for her. "How long has she been sleeping?" Jane asks while noticing it's starting to darken outside.
She fell asleep a little after you woke up the first time. That was like four hours ago. They gave you some good drugs." Julia tells her.
She nods and keeps her eyes trained on Maura's sleeping form forgetting momentarily about the other woman in the room looking intently at the expression on Jane's face.
"I'm gonna head back to the hotel to rest okay?" She finally interrupts. "I left a key for Maura so she can stay there if she wants. But I have a feeling she won't want to stay with me let alone leave you." Julia adds while walking towards the door. Jane is about to question her when she continues. "And tell her that I'm dating Frankie, because I think she thinks I've got my eye on you. I'm gonna call the nurse in and tell her you're awake."
Jane laughs quietly while Julia leaves, imagining a jealous Maura. She takes her free hand and pushes it through Maura's honey blonde hair removing strands of it from her face and admiring the exhausted woman's beautiful features.
Moments later the nurse comes in to check on her vitals and IV. "Hello Ms. Rizzoli. How are you feeling?"
"Pretty good for someone who just had her heart dug around in by some doctor. Do you know when these will be coming out?" She asks, indicating the tubes protruding from her chest.
"Unfortunately those are going to be in for however long you're in the ICU to help drain the fluid in your chest. It may cause some pain and discomfort but the less you bother them the easier it will be for you to heal. How is the pain?" She asks.
"It's tolerable but if you could give me some pain meds, I wouldn't deny them." Jane replies smirking.
"Well I'll show you a neat trick." The nurse answers pulling a small device from next to Jane. "Whenever you feel too much pain, just give this little button a push and you'll forget where you are." The nurse jokes earning a smile from the brunette. "I can get your girlfriend over there a cot if you'd like?"'
Jane smiles at the term of affection even though she has no idea where her relationship with Maura stands at the moment. "I'm going to send her to the hotel when she wakes up. She didn't get much sleep last night."
The nurse just smiles knowingly. "I'll bring her the cot in a little bit. I'll be checking your vitals throughout the night but you're looking in pretty great shape. You may be out of here late tomorrow night and on your way to the cardiac ward."
Jane smile appreciatively at the nurse before she leaves her to turn her attention back to Maura. She returns to gently running her fingers through Maura's hair hoping that she's here to fix their relationship. Eventually Maura starts to stir and it's like everything within Jane falls into limbo. She can't tell if she wants Maura to wake just yet. She's worried if Maura has come as a friend or as a girlfriend. Eventually her thoughts are broken by a voice she can't bear to be without.
"Hi." Maura whispers weakly as if she doesn't know what to say after she lifts her head and notices Jane's awake.
"Hi." Jane mimics with a small smile attached to her face.
"How are you feeling?" She asks hesitantly.
"Well you see, I've got this button." Jane jokes characteristically while holding up her morphine button. "And any time I feel a little pain I just press it."
Maura smiles at Jane's joke and it breaks away the tension filling the room leaving them open to talking about what needs to be addressed. Maura doesn't know where to begin so Jane breaks the silence with the first words that pop into her head.
"I missed you. I'm glad you came." And they're the absolute truth.
Maura looks down sadly and it's obvious the guilt she feels for not being there. Jane knows what's coming and before she can stop it the words come tumbling out of Maura's mouth.
"I'm sorry." She starts.
"Don't apologize." Jane says resolutely before anything further can be said. It's not because she doesn't want to hear it. It's because Maura has nothing to be sorry about. Jane realizes and is a bit upset that Maura abandoned her a day before her surgery. But she knows she hurt Maura and so she places the blame more towards herself.
"I shouldn't have made you come with Julia. I should have been here." Maura replies guiltily.
"She took pretty good care of me." Jane says hoping to ease Maura's guilt. But then she notices Maura's teeth clench and she remembers what Julia had told her while she left. "She's no substitute for you though. I really missed you." She repeats. "She wouldn't shut up about how great a boyfriend Frankie was and all I could think about was you."
"I missed you before your surgery." Maura responds regretfully.
Jane just shakes her head. She knows Maura isn't going to forgive herself so easily but she wants to get it through Maura's head that she shouldn't be sorry. "You're here now. That's what matters to me." Jane presses but she can see Maura's still not happy with herself.
"I read your letter." Maura answers changing the subject.
"You did?" Jane asks as if she's surprised, she didn't even think about that being why Maura was here.
"It took me a little while and some nudging from Angela but I read it." She says softly.
Jane doesn't know what to think. All she knows is she has to make Maura sure that she meant every word. "Maura, I'm so sorry about the way I've acted. I never thought about the consequences. You were absolutely right. But I meant everything I said in that letter, Maura. I'll never willingly put my life in danger like that again. Please just give me a chance to prove that to you. And if I have to, I'll leave BPD." She begs.
"I'm not going to make you choose between your job and me." Maura states firmly.
And it's the words Jane feared would come. That Maura isn't here to get back together but instead just to be the good best friend she always was and Jane can't take it. She looks away and tries to will the tears not to fall. But they form and cascade down her cheeks at the finality of Maura's words. Everything seems to crash down and she can't stop the bitter words that exit her mouth moments next. "You came all the way here to tell me that?" She asks with as much spite as she can manage.
Maura just sighs. "Jane, look at me." She demands and it takes a few seconds before the hardheaded detective relents and turns her head back to her. Maura frowns at the tears falling down the detectives face before reaching a hand over to wipe them. At first Jane pulls away but Maura's persistence gets the better of her and the tingles she feels at Maura's touch involuntarily causes her to lean into it. And when Maura runs a gentle thumb over her cheek and brings her lips down on hers she can't help the relieved sob that leaves her throat.
Maura kisses her softly with everything she can to convey not only how sorry she is but how much she loves her. She runs a hand through Jane's hair as they break and leans her forehead against hers. "I'm not going to make you choose, so long as you promise me you'll be more careful. I love you Jane Rizzoli and I can't be without you. So you have to promise me you'll come home to me every night."
Jane no longer holds back the tears as they turn into ones of gratitude as she hears the words Maura uses. The words "come home to me every night" repeat through her head as she wipes her tears. "Maura I promise. I'll always wear a vest, I will definitely never shoot myself again and I will avoid the backs of vans." She jokes earning a chuckle from the blonde. "Just please don't leave me again."
Maura captures Jane's lips again, this time more heated and passionately while she mumbles "never again" in between kisses. She wipes the remaining tears from Jane's cheeks and plants a final kiss on her forehead. "I missed you so much too." She finally admits.
Jane closes her eyes and revels in what it's like to be close to Maura again. What it's like to kiss her after fearing she'd never be able to do so again. She nuzzles her nose against Maura's and whispers "I love you" to her.
"I love you too." Maura answers and pecks her lips. "You taste like hospital." She jokes after a beat.
"Gee, I wonder why?" Jane asks sarcastically garnering Maura's signature grin from the blonde. "You drove all the way here." She states changing the subject. It's something that means more to her than Maura may ever understand. That she drove ten hours nonstop to be with her before her surgery.
"I did." Maura solidifies as fact. "In my Prius. I really tried to make it here before your surgery but I left too late and I guess you were always right about me being a slow driver. I shouldn't have waited to see if I could get a flight. I should have left right after I read your letter. I'm sorry." She apologizes once again.
"Stop apologizing." Jane says again while running a weak hand through Maura's hair. "I'm just glad you're here."
"How are you though? All jokes aside, Jane. You just had heart surgery, you can't just be fine." She asks worriedly.
"I feel pretty good, Maura. A little bit of pain, but it's masked pretty well under the morphine. And you're here so that really makes it all better."
Maura smiles and pecks her lips appreciatively. "That's good. Minimally invasive surgery is supposed to have less pain. And average recovery time is two weeks." Maura mumbles out through a yawn. Jane realizes just how tired she is.
"You drove all night and didn't get much sleep. How about you go to the hotel and get some sleep. Julia left a key for you."
"I don't want to leave you." Maura wines and Jane would find it incredibly cute if she wasn't sure it stemmed from Maura's guilt. But now she cares more about Maura being comfortable and well rested after her drive.
"We'll talk more tomorrow. Maura, the morphine is going to make me sleep. You can go sleep in a bed, I'll be okay." She presses.
"I'll stay here with you and sleep."
"Babe, I love you and I'm really happy you're here but there is no reason for you to stay here tonight. You drove all night and you need sleep. I can't even really move more than my head and arms because of these tubes. Really I won't mind if you go sleep at the hotel."
"I'm not leaving." Maura says with finality as she pulls her chair closer to Jane's bed and lays her head back down on the bed.
Jane shakes her head and takes Maura's hand in hers. She knows Maura's the only person she ever gives in to. But Maura has always had this hold over her and she can make her bend with just one look. It's why she'd easily be Jane's downfall. "The nurse said she'll get you a cot." She tries one final time hoping to get Maura to at least lay down on something.
"I'm staying right here." Maura says resolutely.
"Your back is going to hurt in the morning." She warns.
"I don't care as long as I'm next to you." Maura admits.
"I can put the cot next to her bed." The nurse interrupts while arriving back into the room.
Maura attempts to decline but Jane says "that will be great, thank you" and she finally decides to relent since the nurse has already brought the cot.
Maura takes her place on the cot and lays down after giving Jane one final kiss. She sighs as she settles in. "I can't wait to sleep with you again."
Jane raises an eyebrow suggestively at the blonde receiving an eye roll in return.
"You know what I mean Jane. Get your mind out of the sewer." Maura replies.
"It's gutter, Maur. And you're the one who said it." Jane laughs.
"Yeah well you're out of commission in that department for the next couple of weeks." Maura scolds her.
"We'll see about that." Jane challenges.
Maura decides not to dignify it with an answer and instead says "goodnight" to Jane.
Jane returns the words before drifting off back to sleep with the sense that for the first time in a while, everything will be alright.