EPILOGUE

Rayna was sitting in front of her vanity mirror, ready to put on her makeup. As she got out her foundation, she looked at herself closely in the mirror. She liked to think she'd aged well. She had a few lines around her eyes – Daphne liked to call them "crinkle lines" – and light frown lines on her forehead. Her skin was still clear though, and soft, not dry like Tandy's. Tandy bitched constantly about her dry skin and getting old. Rayna smiled at the thought of that. She set the foundation bottle down and ran her fingers through her hair, pulling it back off her face. She thought she was really too old for long hair and usually she'd wear it pulled back in a ponytail or a bun of some kind. She had considered cutting it short again, like she wore it when she was first starting out, but when she'd sat in the hair stylist's chair to finally do it, she'd balked. She'd had her monthly touch up a week ago to keep the stray grays hidden. That pissed her off more than anything. She hated the idea of turning gray.

Today was her birthday and she was turning fifty-five. She made a face in the mirror. Some days she felt every bit of those fifty-five years and more, other days she felt a lot younger. A lot had changed in the last fifteen years. She'd divorced Teddy Conrad, after fourteen years of marriage. Maddie had found out that Deacon Claybourne was her father and that had caused a great deal of turmoil in all their lives. She'd bought out her contract with Edgehill Republic and started her own label, Highway 65. She'd almost died in a nasty car accident but had survived. She'd gotten two marriage proposals in one night. And ten years ago today, on her forty-fifth birthday, she'd gotten remarried.

Highway 65 had been a shelter in the storm of her life. She had fought to keep it during one of the worst times of her life, when it seemed that she might lose everything. On the day she thought all was lost and that she would not only lose the label but her house as well, Tandy had come by with the news that their father's estate had finally been settled and there was more than enough money to keep the label afloat. She and Tandy had laughed and cried and then they sat out at the pool and got silly drunk on wine. Maddie and Daphne had come home from school to find them laughing so hard they were crying, and slurring their words. She would be able to build up her fledgling label after all. At that point, the only other artist she had besides herself was Juliette Barnes. But now she could do what she'd wanted to do, create a refuge for artists.

She had taken some time off to heal first, though. Two days after Tandy's news about their father's estate, Rayna had taken off, leaving everything behind. It had been hard to leave her girls, but she had needed to be alone. So she had left H65 in Tandy and Bucky's hands and the girls with Teddy and gotten on an airplane that ultimately led her to northern California. She rented a cottage that overlooked the Pacific Ocean in a small beach community two hours north of San Francisco. She called the girls every day, but that was the extent of her contact with life in Nashville. What she had figured out, in the aftermath of the proposals, was that she needed to clear her head and she needed to get re-centered. Her life had spiraled out of control and she had lost sight of what was important. She slept a lot, she wandered the beach for hours, and then sat looking out over the ocean, calming her mind.

She missed her girls terribly, though, and after she had been gone a month, she called Teddy and asked him to put them on a plane to San Francisco. She drove to the airport and was surprised at how the busyness of the city and the throngs of people made her head hurt and left her feeling anxious. She knew then she wasn't ready to go back, so she and the girls spent the rest of the summer at the beach cottage. It was a healing time for all of them and an opportunity to repair the damage that had been left over from that year of upheaval.

She knew Maddie talked to Deacon regularly, but she was glad to know he didn't pressure her to know where they were. He would occasionally ask Maddie to speak to her, but she always refused. It always took time after she knew Maddie had talked with him to quiet her mind and her heart. She didn't want to hear his voice, at least not then. There would be time enough for that when she returned to Nashville.

Ironically, Teddy and Tandy were the two people who had given her some of the wisest advice as everything was crumbling around her. One day, as she was dropping off the girls, Teddy had sensed her inner conflict about Luke and had been more insightful than she would ever have thought possible for him. Rayna, as much as it pains me to say this, you've already had a safe relationship. With me. Unless your heart's really in it, don't do that to yourself again. And Tandy had hit at the heart of the matter as they had talked about the two proposals. Sweetheart, you're trying to decide with your head instead of your heart. And maybe, right now, you're too close to it to make the right decision for you. Take your time to make the right decision. For you. There's no shame in saying you can't do this now. Which led her to this. This place, this time, this space.

She knew the day would come when they would go home. They left the cottage the week before the girls were to start back to school and headed for the airport. Rayna had known she was ready to step back into her life, to change it up. She knew for sure that it was time when the sights and sounds of the city didn't bother her, but exhilarated her.

When she got back to Nashville, she stepped back into her role as the head of H65. Enough time had passed that the chatter about her broken engagement to Luke was old news. She and Deacon sat down and talked about moving forward just as Maddie's parents and what that meant. She kept busy with the label, focusing on finding new artists. When she had dropped out of sight, her record had slipped off the radar, and she was surprisingly okay with that. It was time, she thought, to change her focus.

She had finally apologized to Deacon for everything. One of the things that became crystal clear to her when she was alone on the beach was that she had let him go through all that by himself and he had actually let her off the hook. She'd allowed him to do that, of course, because it made her feel justified in all the decisions she'd made – the decision to not tell him about Maddie in the beginning and then to keep not telling him. But she had come to understand that she really did need to own the fact that her decisions had led them to where things had ultimately blown up the night of the CMA's, all those years ago, as well as everything that happened afterwards. He had insisted again that she had nothing to be forgiven for, but she had insisted just as much that she did. They had finally had one last angry, accusing, emotional, and ultimately cleansing round with that and then they really did put it behind them, once and for all.

One of the other things she'd thought about while she was gone was how long it had been since she'd not had a man in her life. For so many years it was Deacon. Then it was Teddy. Then Deacon again, briefly. Then Luke. She realized that she didn't know who she was without a man by her side. Without being part of a couple. She wasn't at all sure that she could be alone, but she knew she had to try. There was no way that she could give herself to another man or receive love from another man if she didn't know herself. One thing she knew for sure, though, was that she couldn't repeat her old patterns.

For almost two years, she didn't date, she didn't sleep with a man, she didn't kiss another man. She didn't even try. At first Tandy tried to get her to go out socially, but she refused, unless it was to benefit her label or one of her artists, and then she always went alone. Maddie and Daphne wondered if she was ever going to date again, but she would just smile and tell them they were all she needed.

The girls were both grown up now and on their own. Maddie had signed with Highway 65 on the day she graduated from high school. A year later she gave up performing for songwriting, in a move that had surprised Rayna. Maddie had fought Rayna for several years over her desire to perform and tour. But she was happier than ever and had been very successful writing songs for other artists. Rayna created a publishing arm for her label in order to keep Maddie in the business.

Daphne had gone on to college and now was working for the label as a producer. She and Maddie still sang together, but mostly just for family and friends. Rayna loved having them as part of the family business, along with her husband, who ran the publishing side of the label. They were a family, one thing that she had wanted above all else, a true sense of family.

Rayna herself had finally given up touring and recording for good and concentrated solely on running her label. And spending time with her husband. She smiled as she thought of him and of their life together. Their marriage had centered her in a way she'd never thought possible. The year following her accident had been the most difficult year of her life and it had been capped off by the two marriage proposals on the same night. She had ultimately told them both no. Luke Wheeler had stormed off, bitter and angry, threatening to destroy her. He would have, if not for the timely settling of Lamar Wyatt's will. Not surprisingly, Deacon had stoically walked away. Their paths would cross, of course, because of Maddie, but he had respected her decision.

The day came, though, when she had felt ready to love again and it had taken a surprisingly short amount of time for her to be ready for marriage. She had almost surprised herself when she had proposed it, but it had left her feeling complete. She had figured out that she needed a partner, an equal, someone she would enjoy spending time with every single day. She wanted to be excited, she wanted to have fun and enjoy life. One thing she did know that she wanted and needed was a healthy sex life. She wanted to look at whoever this man would be and feel desired by him and desire him in return. He needed to know her and understand her and take her as she was. She wanted someone that would make her smile just thinking about him. And there he was. Right when she was ready.

Just then her husband walked in the room. She caught his eye in her mirror and she smiled. He was still as handsome as the day they'd met and she teased him often about how he just seemed more distinguished and not older. He was her best friend as well as the man she loved. He fit every single criteria she'd decided she needed. "Hey, babe," she said. "Happy anniversary."

He walked over to her and, taking her hand, pulled her up out of her chair and into his arms. "Happy anniversary," he said with a smile. "And happy birthday too."

She shook her head. "No birthdays. That's why we got married on that day, so I could replace birthdays with anniversaries." She leaned in and kissed him. "I'm so lucky to have you. And be married to you."

"No," he said, "I'm the lucky one. These have been the best ten years of my life."

She ran her fingers through his hair. "Mine too." She ran her thumb over his lips. "I love you. So much."

He kissed her in that way he had, that still took her breath away and started the heat of desire curling through her body. She felt like she could stand there and kiss him all day. Then he leaned into her ear and whispered, "Just remember, no one will ever love you, like I do."

THE END