Hey guys! I'm sorry this chapter is really short and I'm not prod of this one. It's a total filler because I didn't want to make it super miserable, lol. Enjoy! I dnt own anything!

Three weeks later

I wake up at five thirty in the morning. I sigh and get ready quickly, walking to my therapy appointment with my book. The man is sitting there, looking at me with a smile on his face. "Hi, Austin. How are you feeling?" I shrug a little and he nods. "Lets just... Get started..." I nod and sit beside him. "Okay, well... I'm going to ask about your family and friends from what you told me yesterday." I nod. Great. "Who is Dez?" I stare blankly at the page in front of me. Who is Dez? I write and I sigh. Dez? Dez is... Well was my best friend. We met when we were in kindergarten. He was a new kid and I was constantly being picked on. He was my only friend besides Ally until I got a little older. He was my brother and best friend forever. He was always by my side and he never let me down. He's the one who saved my life. Not only the first time I tried to commit suicide, but the second time too. He was also my director when Ally and I became a team. She wrote songs, I sang, Trish was the manager and he directed all videos. He's the best. Really. He always made me smile when I was upset and well... He just made my whole life better. I wouldn't have become famous without him. The man clears his throat and finishes taking his own notes.

"You say he was your best friend. Why?" I bite my lip. A few weeks ago, I told my friends to move on away from me because I was going to be stuck in here for six months, the minimum. I told him that I'd never see them again and that I wanted them to be happy and that I loved them. He called me out on it a few minutes later. He said things that were so true and I always thought them but never heard them out loud. I admire him for that. He was the only one who could come out with the truth to me.

"What did he say?" I slump back in my seat. He called me an a****** and that he couldn't stand me. He told me that he should've let me kill myself and that he wishes we never met. He also told me that I wasn't fit to be a father and that I didn't deserve Ally. He hit me in the face a few times but I deserved it. I deserved worse than what he gave me. He said he wished that I was dead. He told me to burn in h***... Everything he said was true and he was the only person strong enough to tell it to my face instead of lying.

"And now... Ally. Who was she?" Oh gosh, where to start... For starters, she's amazing, beautiful, funny, intelligent and so much more. We met in preschool. I started crushing on her then. We were best friends until I was fourteen, when I asked her out. She said yes and that's when I stopped cutting myself after two years. At fifteen, we were still dating, Dez, Trish, Ally and I all started 'Team Austin'. I didn't do as much as them. Their jobs were much harder than mine, I just sang. Well, Ally and were secretly dating until she was twenty-two when I proposed to her. A few nights after, we told everyone that we were engaged. The same night, we found out she was pregnant, well I did anyway. We were on and off again after that but I never stopped loving her. We kind of broke p yesterday. I want her to be happy and she's not. She cut herself. She did drugs. All because of me. If she moves on, she won't do those things because I'm not there to ruin her life. One of my tears falls onto the page. "That's it for today Austin, we will continue tomorrow." I quickly walk outside and walk toward my room with my book. When I get to my room, Trish, Ally and Dez are all waiting by my door. I shake my head at them and walk sat them and into my room. I sit on the bed and open my book angrily.

Hey Book, Ally, Dez and Trish were all waiting outside me door when I got back from my therapy session, which by the way was horrible. Im fricken miserable. He asked me about Dez and Ally. I started crying and he ended it early. I'm such a wimp. They won't stop knocking on the door. I told them no. I said to forget about me. Dez fricken beat me up! He'd happily do it again. I could see it in his eyes when I passed by. I don't get why they all don't despise me yet! I'm never nice and I'm never in a good mood, now I stopped talking... There are so many things wrong with me. I don't know how anyone would ever love someone like me and that's why I'm telling them to move on. I'm not worth their time. D*** it! I can't take the stupid knocking. Talk to you soon. ~Austin

I hop off the bed and open the door slowly, then quickly turn around to sit down. "You okay?" Dez asks and I nod. It's silent. I grab my board, even though I don't know why I would do this... Especially after a few weeks ago. I thought I told you to move on. I write and push it toward them. "I thought you'd change your mind after I came here a******." Dez says and I take the board back. I got what I deserved. Every piece. That doesn't make me any better for you than before though. He glares at me and he clenches his fists. "You're so lucky that Trish and Ally are in here." He says through clenched teeth. I deserved it and I deserve more today. Maybe they should leave. I push the board toward him and he grabs it, snapping it in half. "Dez! That's his only way of communicating with us!" Ally snaps at him, stepping away from him. "He doesn't deserve to communicate! If he doesn't have the balls to speak, he shouldn't communicate at all!" He screams and I look down at my hands. He's right. "Dez, give him a break! Jesus, he was just put into rehab!" Trish buts in now and I grab my book, putting it in my lap. "He was out in here because he's a d***." He laughs.

"What's that? A diary?" I clench it tighter but he rips it from my weak grasp. "Lets see..." He says, opening to the first page. "Stop..." I write on half of the board. All of their eyes snap toward me. He laughs and opens it anyway. "You deserve it. You even said so yourself." Ally grabs the book and my eyes widen. "Why are you being so obnoxious?" She asks and he rips the book from her hands. "Stay out of this." He opens it again. I grab the book but Dez pushes me down. I hand him the book and he stands up. He reads for about five minutes, the rest of us in silence before looking up at me in shock. "I-I was wrong... You do care." He whispers and looks back down at the book again. He stares at me before grabbing my collar and pushing me up against the wall. "Don't" he punches me. "Fricken." Again. "Talk to" he grunts as he punches me again and I slide to the floor, both Trish and Ally yelling. "Any of us." He smacks me harder against the wall. "Again." He grabs my head and hits it against the wall. I look at them all and sigh. The walls are concrete and there are no windows. I can feel blood drip down my back and I can tell Ally realizes as she gasps. "Dez!" He drops my collar and I collapse to the floor, to my hands and knees. I'm breathing heavy and I don't know why, but I literally just start vomiting. I can hear Ally's cries in the background but I ignore it. After a minute, I get up, wobbling side to side as I stand. I grab my book and hand it to Ally. "There's a note for all of you in there... I wrote you a song Alls..." I whisper. It feels so weird to talk. "I love you guys." Ally grabs the book and I collapse again. "Thank you Dez..." I trail off. Those are my last words before I pass out.

Ally's POV

"Dez! Do something!" I yell, bending down to check Austin's pulse. "He has a pulse but he's not breathing! Someone help!" Tears fall from my eyes and land on Austin's skinny face. I try giving him CPR but it doesn't work. The ambulance comes in and takes him away immediately. "Dez! What the h***?!" I scream at him, punching his chest as he's frozen in place. "I can't... I can believe I just did that..." He whispers. "What if he dies?" I ask him and he stays frozen. "I-I don't know..." He walks away quickly and I look around the room. I sigh and sit on his bed. He's written about sixty pages... How long has he had this? I don't start from the beginning...

I flip to the back and see writing. It must be the letters he wrote. Dear Ally, if you're reading this, it means that I failed you. I was trying to stay strong but if you're reading this, I didn't. My plan didn't involve trying to kill myself but... I was thinking I would die of starvation. No matter how hungry I was, every time I ate something, I would throw up. Anyway, I love you. You know that. Please, be happy without me. No matter where my whistle necklace is... I want you to take it and give it to Ari. Tell her what happened when she's older. You take this book. I want you guys to have everything I had. Tell our other little one too. I'm sorry I won't be here. It's for the better I guess. Everything happens for a reason. Starting in the middle of this book, there are qualities of you that I loved on each page. There's a paragraph on each page on why I love you. If you read one a day, it should last a few months. You can choose to forget me or not but wherever you are, I'll be there looking over you. I love you. I'll miss you. ~Austin

I clench the book to my chest and cry and cry for god knows how long before Dez lifts me up and tries to lift me up. "No! No get off!" I scream and kick but he lifts me up anyway. "Go away! Let me down!" I punch his arms but he doesn't set me down until we get to his car. I glare at him but I notice he's crying too. "D*** it Ally! I know!" His voice is shaking. "I-I know..." I whispers and I put my hand on his arm. "I don't know why I would ever..." He cuts himself off with a sob and I sob too. "I don't know what's gonna h-happen if he dies... I'll never be able to l-live with myself..." He sobs again and pulls into the parking lot. I get out but he stays inside, his head leaning on the steering wheel.

"Dez..." He starts crying again, his head in his hands now. "Nothing you say can make this better Alls... I'm... I'm a monster. I-I just... Killed my best friend.." I cringe and collapse to passengers side. "He's not dead. He's not dead Dez. He can't be dead." I chant over and over in my head that he's fine. He's going to be fine. "Whether he's dead or not! I hurt him! Don't you see that?! Did you read the book?! I made him more fricken miserable then before! I made him suffer for three d*** weeks! I-I... Did you read what I said to him? Do you even know what I did to him? I am a monster. A sick disgusting human being. I'm probably going to go to jail too. Even better." I look over at him through tears.

"What'd you say to him?" I ask quietly, I almost thought he couldn't hear me. "Read the second page of his book. It says everything..." I flip to the book and read it quickly. Dez did that? "Why? Why'd you do it? You-you know that what he does is because he loves us! Don't you get that?! He thinks that we aren't worth his time! I can't even... You... You told your best friend that who was just put into rehab for trying to kill himself four times... That... Oh my gosh. You are a monster! Dez. I-I hate you. I h-have to go." I stand up and slam the door quickly, jogging through the parking lot.

"I'm here for Austin Moon. Do you know where he is?" She looks down and looks back into my eyes. "Down the hall, make a left, first door on your right... I'm sorry Ally, I wish you two luck." I smile a watery smile and thank her. I walk in and see more machine attached to him then ever before. I see the black bags under his eyes more clearly now. His scars pop out and stare at me. Blaming me. Blaming me for everything he's done to himself. I look down at my own wrists, my own scars matching his. The beeping of his heart rate speeds up rapidly and I stare at him intently. He shoots up and immediately grabs his head, closing his eyes again and laying back down.

"Hi..." I whisper and his eyes shoot back open. "Ally?" He asks, whispering as if he's going to hurt someone if he spoke louder. "Yeah..." I whisper back, tears coming again. "I missed you..." I tell him and he looks at me, staring into my eyes. "You shouldn't-" I cut him off quickly. "I missed you. I missed your voice. I missed being in your arms. I miss your smile..." His eyes flicker to the book in my hands nervously. "I only read the note and your second page. Dez told me to..." He nods and I walk over to him, placing the book down next to him. "You can read it if you want..." I smile a little and shake my head. "Its fine... It's your book." He reaches out hesitantly and I grab his hand immediately. "I wrote it for you. Read from the middle..." I smile and nod at him. "I told Dez that I hated him..." He cringes a little when I say Dez's name. "Why?" He asks and I give him my famous 'are you kidding me?' Looks and he realizes, and laughs a little. "What he did was not okay. He-" he cuts me off and squeezes my hand. "He did what he had to do. I deserved it Ally." I sigh, more tears slipping out. Dez walks into the room before I can say anything more.

I glare at him but Austin gives him a small smile. "Austin... I don't know what c-came over me..." He starts crying like he did in the car. "Dez, we all know that I deserved that... I needed that. I appreciate what you did. You're the only one who could tell me the truth. The only one who spoke the truth out loud." He shakes his head. "I almost fricken killed you Austin! I made being in rehab harder for you and I refused to let Ally see you for those three weeks... What I did wasn't okay!" He starts breathing heavy just like Austin does when he gets really upset or angry. "Dez. Calm. Down. I'm glad you did what you did. I'm not dead so let's forget about it, okay?" Dez looks at me and I sigh, looking at Austin. "I don't really hate you Dez... I was just..." He nods his head, tears still falling from his eyes. "I get it. You had every ri-" Austin cuts him off. "She's going to argue that point until she's blue in the face dude. Don't even try it." Both of them laugh a little and so do I because I know it's true.

"Excuse me... May I speak to Austin alone?" A police officer asked, walking inside to the room. Dez and I share panicked looks with each other as Austin seems calm. I swallow hard and Austin nods at me, signaling for me to leave.

Austin's POV

I feel a lot better now that Dez doesn't hate me and Ally still loves me and that Ally forgave Dez. I'm so glad. Just in case you were wondering, no. I'm not going to throw Dez under the bus right now. "So, what happened back there? Who did this to you?" The woman asks and I look at the notepad in her hand. "I did." She looks taken back a little. "Why?" I think for a quick second. "I was in rehab. I wanted to kill myself. I tried to but it didn't work." She writes it down and looks back at the door. "So it wasn't the red head? You're sure?" I nod. "Positive. He's my best friend." She sighs, probably wondering how she was wrong. "Okay, I guess that's all I need. Feel better." I nod a thanks to her and Dez and Ally walk in.

"What'd she ask?" Ally asks and I shrug a little. "She just wanted to know what happened..." She glances at Dez's horrified expression. "W-what happened? Am I g-going to jail..?" He asks and I laugh. My friends are the only things I need to be happy. "Dude, you're not going to jail. Okay?" He tilts his head in confusion. "Why?" I shrug again. "Because I'm fine and I'm not pressing charges. There's not reason for you to go to jail." He sighs, not believing me but drops the subject. "The doctors are sending you home. They say rehab was worse than before. They just said you have to come everyday..." My eyes widen and I shoot up. "Woah..." I lean back down, seeing stars. "Awesome. No more d*** rehab." They both laugh and I grab Ally's hand but sigh. "What's the matter?" She asks and I look up into her eyes. "Why do you still love me?" I whisper and she bends down, kissing my lips. "I don't deserve you..." I say when she pulls back and I hear Dez let out a small whimper. "You need to realize that you do deserve me. That I don't deserve you. Austin. All the matters is that I love you and you love me. Got it?" I nod my head and look at Dez, who's looking at me with tears in his eyes. "Dez, please..." He takes a shaky breath and sighs. "I'm sorry..." I squeeze Ally's hand and she plays with my fingers. "Don't be. Just worry about what's happening. The past can't be changed so move on. I'm not mad about it, neither should you." He nods and smiles back at me. I hear the door creek open and Trish, Aust and Ari are standing at the door.

"Hey Austin, you-" Trish gets cut off by Ari. "Daddy! Oh my gosh daddy!" She starts to cry and runs up to me. "I thought I was never going to see you again daddy!" She lets out a sob and I start crying too. "Y-you can't leave me!" She sobs into my shoulder and I try to calm her down. "Don't worry baby... I'm right here..." I whisper and she sobs again. "I missed you so much daddy..." I pull her tighter and kiss her cheek. "I missed you too..." She pulls away from me and I smile. "Look how big you've gotten..." I murmur and she laughs, twirling around in her yellow and red dress, her blonde curls bouncing up and down. "I love you sweetheart." I say and she squeals, running up to me again. "I love you too daddy..." I squeeze my eyes and shut. When I open them back up, I look at everyone, they're crying too which makes me laugh. I wipe my tears and Aust comes up to me.

"I missed you bro! You're my favorite uncle!" He says and we all laugh. "Little bro, I'm your only uncle!" I laugh again and ruffle his hair. "Are you staying for good now?" I nod. "Yeah... For good." He hugs me and sighs. "Good." I sigh after him and squeeze him tighter. "Can't... Breathe..." I let him go quickly. "Sorry." He laughs with me and pauses to smile. "Love you bro..." We do our little handshake and I smile. "Love you too little man.."

It's just me and Ally in the hospital now. Trish and Dez are watching Ari for tonight, she has school tomorrow. "Hey Austin?" She asks and I raise my eyebrows up at her. "Hmm?" She grabs my hand. "You said you wrote a song... Can I... Can I hear it?" I groan a little. "This was when I was with my mom." She nods and I sigh, sitting up a little. "It's been awhile, hasn't it?" I ask her and she nods. "Yeah... I miss it. I miss your voice." I smile and take a deep breath. I start singing 'When I Was Your Man.' By the end, she's crying and she leans down on me, pulling me in for a hug.

She smashes her lips to mine and I run my tongue along her bottom lip, making her moan. My heart speeds up and Ally laughs at me, hearing it over the monitor. "You're so adorable!" She squeals and I feel my face turn deep red. "Aw, wittle Austin's blushing!" She pinches my cheek and I glare at her. I slowly bring my hand up under her shirt and she moans a little. "I haven't even touched you yet..." I murmur against her neck. "I can tell you're blushing, I feel the heat..." I lean up to kiss her lips and she laughs. "This isn't f-" she cuts herself off with a moan when my hand moves from under her shirt to below her skirt. "S***..." Her back arches and I move her underwear to the side. I touch her a little and I moan "C***.. Fine fine you win!" I laugh and she sighs. "You can't do this. You're hurt." I sigh and move my hand back sighing. She grabs my hand as I go to wipe it off and I raise my eyebrows at her. She brings them to her lips and licks them, swirling her tongue around the tips. I have a slight... Problem. "Someone's excited..." She laughs and I groan. "Stop." She pushes her hips down into me and I take my hands and put them on her hips. "F*** Ally. Stop." She sighs and kisses me again. "I missed this. I missed you. I just- I love you..." I say and she laughs. "I know, I love you too baby..."

Sorry it was so short! Im have writers block :(