A/N: This is just a bit of wemma christmas fluff that we so desperately needed. I hope you enjoy!
Emma looked up when a neatly wrapped present dropped onto her desk in front of her. She saw Will standing on the other side of her desk, smiling hesitantly, his arm falling back to his side.
She couldn't help but return the small smile as she glanced down curiously at the small present on her desk. "What's this?" She asked reaching for it, toying with the bow on top.
Will grinned cheekily. "It's a present."
Emma gave him a slightly exasperated look. "I can see that." She giggled quietly. "What is it for?"
"It's for you." He shrugged, plopping himself down in his usual chair. "Since Sue rigged the secret santa I figured it wasn't fair that everyone else got gipped."
Emma's face lit up in a smile. "That's very sweet of you, Will, to get everyone a gift."
Will deadpanned. "I didn't."
Emma's eyes widened as she glanced back down at the very neatly wrapped gift in her hands and then back up at Will whose face had grown sheepish. She felt her chest constrict painfully as she ran her thumb over the shiny wrapper. "Y-you um," she cleared her throat, "You didn't have to get me anything, Will."
"I know." He smiled but it never reached his eyes. "I wanted to though."
"I didn't get you anything." She replied quietly.
He shrugged his shoulders. "That's okay, Emma. I didn't expect anything." He inched forward in his seat suddenly, his face lighting up slightly. "Open it." He encouraged her and she bit back a giggle at how childish and innocent he seemed.
"Okay." She placed the present back on her desk and gently pulled at the ribbon. "Did you wrap this?" She asked, turning her eyes to him as she pulled carefully at the wrapping paper. "It's very good."
"Uh, yeah, thanks." He chuckled nervously. What he wasn't going to tell her was that he spent hours rewrapping the gift to make it to Emma standard.
Emma smiled at him and his heart fluttered, just as usual, and he tried desperately to keep his eyes off of the sparkling diamond on her ring finger.
She discarded the wrapping paper into the trash next to her desk and stared at the box sitting at her desk and instant panic surged through her veins.
What could possibly be in that box? Jewelry? And if it was, how could she wear it? She wouldn't want to hurt Will's feelings by not wearing it but Carl would not be happy if she wore anything that Will gave her.
She stole another glance at Will and saw him staring at her anxiously. She bit her lip lightly, inhaled deeply and pulled the cover off the box.
She blinked in confusion at the contents of the box and then furrowed her brow as she brought her eyes back up to Will. "Chalk?"
Though Will's eyes still held anxiousness his face softened and he whispered, "Ten seconds."
It took a few moments to process Will's seemingly random words but when she did her breath caught in her chest. She was suddenly transported back to a time when her every thought revolved around Will and how much she adored him and one specific time where she helped him clean the science room and he had placed chalk dust on her nose and she found she didn't care a single bit, all she could concentrate was the smoldering look in his eyes.
"New Record..." Her own voice echoed in her head, her stomach twisting uncomfortably as she remembered the heat the spread throughout her body as Will's arm brushed against her nose.
She swallowed over the lump in her throat as she came back to present time and her eyes focused on Will who had the same smoldering look in his eyes that he did that night.
"W-Will..." She stuttered, letting out a quiet breath. "I-..."
"I know." He cut her off and smiled sadly. "That wasn't the only part of the present."
Emma raised her eyebrow curiously, careful to keep the panic off of her face.
"That piece of chalk is a reminder and a promise." His voice was sincere and her heart leapt into her throat and she stared at him warily.
"It's a reminder that before all of...this.." He motioned between them, his eyes flickering painfully to the ring on her finger, "..happened that we were friends. Best friends. And its a promise that we will always be friends. It's also a promise to you that I am backing off, totally and completely. You never came or tried to come in between my marriage and I need to show the same respect for you and yours." He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I can't hurt you anymore, Emma and if that means just being your friend then so be it, no matter how much it kills me."
Emma stared at him, wide eyed and shocked into silence. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest as she watched Will quietly.
Will let out a slow breath, running both his hands through his hair and then turning back to look at her, the look in his eyes breaking her heart.
"Can I just ask one favor from you?" He asked quietly, his lips perking up slightly in an unconvincing smile. "As a Christmas present."
Emma could do nothing but nod quietly.
"I-I just...I need some time." He whispered miserably. "To get my head together, to accept the fact that you are married now, to not want to go cry in a corner every time I see your ring or your name plate, and to try to get over you." He couldn't look her in the eyes and she was grateful because if she had to see the same pain in his eyes that she heard in his voice she'd surely break.
"So um..." His voice shook. "If I'm avoiding you...that's why. I-I'm sorry if that doesn't make me a good friend at the moment but I just can't..." He sighed heavily his shoulders slumping forward as he buried his face in his hands.
Emma was unsure of how to react. Watching Will collapse in front of her was painful at best and part of her wanted to go over to him and hug all his pain away but she wasn't sure if that would make the situation any better.
A shuddering breath passed Will's lips as he lifted his head out of his hands, his eyes closed tightly. "I hope you understand."
Emma nodded quietly, then forgot he wasn't looking at her and spoke lightly, "Of course."
Will sat straight back in the chair, letting out another quiet sigh and finally opening his eyes. Emma's heart nearly stopped at the obvious glistening in his eyes and as he stood up wordlessly and started to head towards the door she wanted nothing more than to call him back though what kept her from letting him walk out the door was that she had nothing to say.
It had been a week a half since Will came to her office and just as he said he'd been avoiding her. And just as she promised she didn't try to talk to him however badly she missed him and wanted to. That was also more than she cared to admit to herself and especially to Carl. Her husband noticed that she hadn't been herself since that day and when he had found the piece of chalk rested safely in its box on top of their dresser he questioned her about it. She simply said it was a gift, she couldn't tell him it was from Will and she didn't want to bother explaining what the importance of it was. Carl wondered why of all things she wanted to keep a piece of chalk, she simply told him that he wouldn't understand. He was a little put off by her response but he didn't question it further.
He would also ask her what was wrong when she'd come home with that forlorn look on her face but everyday she'd say the same thing: "nothing." Carl didn't want her hanging around Will in the first place and knowing that she was this upset about not being able to talk to him, to even see him, on a regular basis would cause an unnecessary fight that Emma didn't feel she could handle.
Carl kept getting more frustrated with her when she wouldn't speak about what was bothering her which led to a fight anyway, keeping Carl sleeping on the couch for a few days because Emma refused to let him into the bedroom.
Though like always, Carl came to her with a sweet apology, telling her that he figured she was just stressed about work and that he didn't mean to get so frustrated with her about it. She felt guilty about hiding the truth from him and so she forgave him and he eagerly cuddled her at night, grateful to be back in bed with her, though little did he know she spent most nights lying awake, guilt swarming in her stomach because the arms she pictured around her did not belong to Carl Howell.
When those thoughts would arise she tried to convince herself that they happened because she missed Will in the general sense. It was not because she missed him holding her, kissing her, running his fingers lightly through her hair as they cuddled next to each other on the couch...no, it wasn't that at all.
She was married, happily, wasn't she? She could do all of those with Carl and still get the same feelings.
She didn't know who she was trying to kid in telling herself that but for now she needed to keep telling herself that so she wouldn't completely drive herself insane.
Emma took her usual seat at her usual lonely table in the faculty lounge. Shannon usually joined her on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays but Tuesdays and Thursdays she taught a gym class during their lunch hour and that day happened to be a Tuesday so Emma was left to sit by herself.
She stared at the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree in the corner of the room as she nibbled quietly on her PB & J. She hadn't had the sandwich in a long time, despite it being her favorite but recently she found herself eating one of them everyday.
Carl laughed at her, jokingly teasing her that she loved peanut butter way too much. It was the only thing that kept her close to Will though, close enough as she could get anyway. Whenever she had a peanut butter sandwich she could almost feel him sitting beside her, smiling at her as he enjoyed the sandwich she had given him claiming it was the best he'd ever had.
She was so taken in by the sparkling lights and her thoughts about Will that she failed to see someone approaching the table. The sound of the chair legs scratching against the table brought her back to reality and her heart leapt when she saw Will taking a seat across from her.
"Hey," He greeted with a hesitant smile, "Do you mind if I sit here?"
She blinked at him for a couple seconds, not really sure if he was actually there but then smiled and nodded. "No, not at all."
He chuckled lightly and Emma's heart fluttered at the sound. She hadn't heard his laugh in who knows how long. "Thank you, I appreciate it." His tone was teasing, another thing she hadn't heard from him a while.
A blush rose lightly on her cheeks as she continued to nibble on her sandwich quietly, hiding a smile as she glanced back to the Christmas tree awkwardly.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Will take his sandwich out of his brown paper bag and she noticed the brown, creamy peanut butter rested nicely in between the two piece of white bread.
"Hey," She called out quietly and he raised an eyebrow at her as she pointed to the sandwich in his hands, "We match." She motioned to her own half eaten sandwich and his face lit up brightly, matching the intensity of the many lights of the tree behind him.
"Great minds think alike, I guess." He winked at her with a smirk.
She giggled quietly but her eyes widened slightly as she realized what exactly she was doing. She cleared her throat and continued to nibble on her sandwich, focusing her eyes on the table.
"How are you, Will?" She asked softly, lifting her eye to meet his after a minute of awkward silence.
His face fell momentarily but then his lips curled up in a sad smile. "I'm alright...as good as I can be I suppose."
Emma frowned, not liking the answer she heard but what more could she have expected to hear from him? She had broken his heart and she was lucky enough that he felt comfortable even sitting there to talk to her.
She sat there contemplating an appropriate response to his answer and was grateful that upon looking at Will she found the look in his eyes telling her she didn't have to say anything. She smiled in thanks and he smiled back, nodding his head a fraction of an inch.
"So," She jumped quickly to change the subject, "Do you have any plans for Christmas?"
A melancholy look crossed Will's handsome features and she instantly regretted asking him that question. As far as she knew he didn't have anybody to spend it with, not Terri and not her.
"Uh...no." He fingered his Capri sun juice box as he looked at her through his eyelashes. "I'm just going to stay home this year...spend some quality time with me, myself and I." He shrugged it off like it was no big deal but Emma could clearly see the pain and loneliness in his dull eyes.
She wanted to reach out to him, tell him that he could spend christmas with her, but then she remembered Carl and knew that neither men wanted to spend Christmas with the other.
"What about your parents?" She questioned.
"They got invited to stay at my Aunt's house in Michigan for the Christmas/New Years week. I was invited too but I'd rather just stay home. My family can get a little wild especially on Holidays and I haven't really been in the partying mood lately. I'd much rather just watch Christmas movies all day." He offered her a smile, one that he clearly thought was convincing but she could always see right through Will Schuester.
"Will..." She sighed in protest.
"It's fine, Emma." He cut her off gently. "Really, sometimes you just need to be alone."
"Not on Christmas." She answered in a soft reply.
Will's eyes locked onto hers from across the table and her eyes softened in sympathy. Will's jaw clenched and he shook his head slowly and licked his lips before asking, "So what about you? Any big plans with Carl?"
She couldn't help but notice how his voice shook when he said her husband's name and her face fell as she shook her head, "Will, we don't have to -"
He only shook his head again, smiling a bit hesitantly. "Are you going to Virginia? Or visit his family?"
Emma closed her eyes tightly for a fleeting second and then reluctantly spoke, knowing how much she'd hurt him. "N-no...we're just um, we're going to stay home." She swallowed over the lump in her throat and felt that tremendous amount of guilt again. "Spend our first Christmas together, you know?" She should not be feeling this horrible feeling of dread at the thought of spending Christmas together alone with her husband.
"Yeah." He nodded with a broken whisper and a sad smile. "I know." He brought his Christmas tree shaped sugar cookie to his mouth and bit down on it lightly and they dropped the subject after that.
Emma asked how glee club was and Will immediately perked up at the mention of his glee club. He said he already had some songs lined up for Regionals that he wanted to run by the kids.
Emma smiled, resting her head in her palms as she listened to Will ramble happily on about the glee kids and the silly things they've been doing recently. She didn't even realize she had adopted her famous love struck smile and Will was too invested talking about glee that he didn't seem to notice either which later on she was grateful for because she didn't feel like explaining why she'd had that look on her face. And if she was lying to herself, which she had been doing alot of recently, she'd say she had no idea.
Towards the end of the lunch hour, Will explained that the kids were singing a couple songs in honor of Christmas at the end of the week and he'd invited her to come along to watch.
She had agreed instantly, her face brightening up at the thought of being able to watch the glee kids perform. She still felt absolutely horrible for ditching the kids at Sectionals and she knew she had to do many things to make it up them and more importantly, make it up to Will, but that she feared would take a lot more than just coming to a few glee shows.
"Great!" Will beamed. "Meet me at my spanish room at 3:30 on friday. The kids don't want me there while they set up for the performance," He rolled his eyes playfully, "They said the set and their costumes are a surprise."
Emma giggled again despite herself and nodded. "Sounds like fun."
He laughed, a more hearty laugh this time and the sounds sent thrills of joy to Emma's heart. "Oh I'm sure it will be."
Friday afternoon at two minutes to 3:30 Emma closed the door to her office and made the familiar journey to Will's spanish room. Her heels clicked against the tile floor, the the sound echoing in the quiet hallway as she slowly walked along.
She appeared in Will's doorway just as the clock hit 3:30 and she saw Will at his desk, one elbow resting on the wooden surface while his other hand rested in his curls, his lips pursed slightly as he read over something. He let out a deep sigh as he straightened his back, grabbed a red pen from the container of pens on his desk and scribbled a letter grade and a small note to the student.
As soon as he placed the pen down she hesitantly knocked on the door and his head shot up and over to her. "Emma." His face, for once in a long time, lit up upon seeing her and he gathered the papers together, putting them in the bottom drawer of his desk and stood up. "Hey, you ready to go?"
A small smile graced her lips and she nodded silently. He pushed in his chair under his desk and walked over to her, his smile fading once he got closer.
"Hey," He reached out his hand, gently grazing his fingers over her wrists, not wanting to overstep his boundaries, "Are you alright?"
Her eyes widened slightly but then she smiled and nodded. "Yes, I'm fine I'm just...tired."
His eyes questioned the honesty of her statement but she smiled wider for effect and grabbed onto his wrist, giving him a gentle tug out into the hallway. "I believe we have a performance to get to."
His eyes still held skepticism but he allowed himself to drop it and Emma let go of his wrist as they walked side by side down to the choir room.
Emma stared down at her feet as they walked slowly and quietly and observed how after a little while she and Will started to walk in exact synchronization with each other. And subconsciously she'd move a fraction of an inch closer to Will with each step and eventually their hips brushed against each other when they walked. It happened a few times before both of them realized it and each took a step to the side, losing the synchronization in their steps.
When they finally neared the choir room they heard giggling and whispering coming from inside. They shared a befuddled look with one another and side by side they stepped into the choir room. They were both stopped momentarily by the kids surrounding a half circle a few feet from the doorway, keeping their two teachers from moving any further into the room.
Will raised his eyebrows at the costumes his kids were wearing. The boys, yes even Noah Puckerman, were dressed in elf costumes while the girls were dressed in santa-esque skirts and tops. "Guys, what on Earth are you wearing?" He laughed.
"We all thought we'd get into the Christmas spirit Mr. Schue." Mercedes replied with a knowing smirk.
"You should too Mr. Schue." Artie piped in and Will scoffed a laugh.
"Sorry guys, I know that I've done some pretty ridiculous things for you but dressing in that is not going to be one of them." He pointed to Finn who looked incredibly awkward in his elf costume.
The teenagers all exchanged smirks and Will suddenly got a sinking feeling in his stomach. He swallowed hard and slowly craned his neck upwards and there it was: A spring of mistletoe hanging right above his and Emma's head.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw Emma also glance upwards and her eyes widen at seeing the mistletoe. He clenched his jaw, letting out a slow breath and gave his students a bit of a nasty look. "Guys -" He stern voice started but he was cut off when Emma suddenly grabbed his wrist.
He furrowed his brow and turned to look down at her. A blush spread across her cheeks and her hand slid up to rest over his biceps as she pushed herself onto her toes to get eye level with him. She stared into his wide and slightly terrified eyes for a brief second before leaning and gently brushing her lips against his. She felt Will freeze under her and his body shook as she pulled away seconds later.
He blinked at her in shock, his brow furrowing in confusion. Emma licked her lips and then bit down on her lower one shyly. "It's tradition." She whispered.
Will continued to stare at her in shocked silence and her cheeks burned bright red. She cleared her throat and turned back to the kids who didn't even try to contain their satisfied grins. "So um, I believe you kids have some songs to perform for us."
The girls giggled and each grabbed one of the boys hands, pulling them onto the stairs to get into their positions.
Emma glanced shyly back at Will and then started towards the two seats in the front of the room that had been placed there for her and Will. Emma got halfway into the room before Will finally was able to move again and he followed her the rest of the way there, taking the seat next to her, not able to keep his eyes off of her or his mind off of that kiss.
"Thank you for coming Mr. Schuester, Ms. Pillsbury," Rachel stated taking her usual stance in front of the group. "We have selected a number of Christmas favorites to perform for you today and I hope you both enjoy it." She grinned her famous Rachel grin and moved back into the group between Quinn and Mercedes.
Emma found herself swaying, bouncing, and grinning along to the music as the kids went through their set list of "Deck The Rooftop" "Jingle Bells" "Welcome Christmas" "We Need a Little Christmas" "The Most Wonderful Day of The Year" and "God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman". Throughout the performances she tried to ignore Will for she could feel his burning gaze on her throughout most of the performance. She'd occasionally sneak a glance over to him and found a look in his eyes that for a long time she had only dreamed about seeing in his eyes. Sure he had looked at with love in his eyes before, he'd given her looks that made her swoon and made her knees go weak just knowing that that look was directed at her but nothing compared to this look. It was as if she was the most important thing in his world, the brightest star in the sky, its like she was a tall glass of water after he'd spent eternity and a day in the scolding heat of a desert. She knew she wouldn't be able to resist that look much longer if she kept her eyes on him so she worked hard to keep her gaze focused on the kids.
During the last two songs Will finally took his eyes off of her and paid attention to the kids, swaying and grinning along with her as he listened to the kids perform and he was the first one on his feet when the last notes of their last long echoed in the choir room. Emma jumped onto her feet only seconds after, grinning and clapping her hands wildly, applauding their outstanding performance accordingly.
The kids were all panting from dancing and singing but grinned and thanked the adults for their applause and then hugged and high fived each other on a job well done. Emma sat down and Will gave them all a little speech about how proud he was of them, how well they performed when they put their heart and souls into it, told them to keep that spirit alive when picking out songs for Regionals and then wished them all Happy Holidays.
The kids all took a turn to hug their favorite teacher and wished Emma a happy Holiday as they gathered their belongings and headed out the door each with their own group of friends.
Will let a slow breath out of his lips and turned around to face her with a hesitant smile. Emma beamed at him, her cheeks once again flushing a bright red.
"They're wonderful, Will."
"They are, aren't they?" Will agreed, moving over to take the seat next to her. He brought his hands together to rest on his lap lightly. He bit down on his lower lip, chewing on his slightly as he stared at the floor awkwardly.
Emma knew where his mind was and her heart leapt into throat the thought of it. "Will I -"
"I'm sorry, Emma." He cut her off gently, shaking his head, slowly lifted his head to meet hers. "I don't know why they did that. They shouldn't have done that, you're...you're married it was inappropriate."
Emma bit down on her lip and stared at him quietly, debating with herself for a few seconds and then finally voicing, "Actually..." She trailed off and slowly raised her left hand.
The last time that happened Will felt his heart shatter into a million tiny pieces, now, as he stared at her completely bare left ring finger a thrill of hope surged through him, mending the many broken pieces of his heart.
He pushed back that hope momentarily though, afraid that it was all some sick joke being played on him or some misunderstanding. "Where's uh," He cleared his throat, "Where's your ring?"
"Where it should have stayed all along." Emma answered, bring her hand back down to rest on her lap and at his clueless expression elaborated, "In Carl's possession."
Will cocked his head to the side, his eyes narrowing in slightly confusion. "I don't understand, Emma."
Emma licked her lips and bowed her head, staring at her lap as she twiddled her thumbs. "He wanted to take me away, Will." She whispered.
Will's eyebrows shot up. "What?"
Emma let out a heavy sigh and nodded. "He wanted to take me away." She repeated, looking over to meet his eyes. "He gave me an early Christmas present the other day, said he couldn't wait for Christmas for me to open it. It was a key, Will. A key to a house that he had bought on the other side of Ohio. He said that moving away from this town would be good for us that we'd get a new start and he could get me a better job in a better school but I didn't want that. I couldn't leave Lima. I love it here, I love this school, I love my job here, I love these kids, and most importantly I love -" She paused and her breath caught in her chest as Will's wide eyes stared at her anxiously. Her face softened and a warm smile crossed her lips as she looked directly into his eyes and said, "I love being with you."
Will swore he felt his heart stop for a second and he literally found it hard to breathe. He couldn't believe what had just come out of her mouth. Was it possible that this was real? That it wasn't another one of his crazy dreams he'd been having since that horrible day after sectionals?
"I couldn't sacrifice all of that." Emma continued, bowing her head, breaking her intense gaze with Will. "I know that's what marriage is all about: sacrifice and I couldn't do it. It made me realize that I wasn't ready to be married in the first place." Emma sat quietly in the heavy silence, wishing Will would say something.
"S-so," Will finally began with a stutter, "what does this mean, exactly? Are you two waiting a little while to get engaged again?"
Emma closed her eyes tightly, sighed and shook her head. "No. We had a big fight over it, we were both angry with each other and he said that if I can't leave my job for him then maybe we shouldn't be together and... I agreed. We got an annulment."
"An annulment?"
Emma felt her throat get tight and she turned her face away from Will just incase the tears that started to form in her eyes accidentally fell. "Leaving my job isn't the only thing I couldn't give him." She whispered pathetically. "We never consummated our marriage so an annulment was possible and its um, a lot less messy than a divorce."
"Emma," He breathed and the sweet tone of his voice brought on the tears that she tried to keep at bay, "I'm so sorry. This must not be easy for you, I'm sure you loved him."
She almost started sobbing at how understanding Will was being about this and she turned to face him, her tears streaming down her face helplessly. "I did." She nodded in agreement. "But, it uh - it was for the best, really, that we broke up."
Will gave her a sympathetic look but Emma still noticed a spark in his eyes, she had given him hope. She could also see an internal debate going on in his head judging by the look on his face and she squashed all those thoughts by bringing her chair closer to his and leaning into shoulders, throwing her arms awkwardly around him for a hug.
Will's arms immediately surrounded her and she buried her face into his warm chest and let her tears fall quietly as she relished in the safety and comfort of Will's arms. No matter how much she loved and how protected she had felt in Carl's arms nothing could compare to the feeling she got from being in Will's. When she was in Will's arms everything went away, everything stopped hurting, even if it was just for a moment.
"Thank you, Will." She whispered against his green and red Christmas sweater.
"What are you thanking me for?" He whispered into her hair.
"For being you." She lifted her head, locking onto his eyes and smiled softly, "For being here, for being my friend."
Will lifted his hand tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. She leaned into his touch as his thumb accidentally grazed against her cheek and let out a sigh. "I'll always be here for you Emma. I know what it feels like to go through a break up with your spouse."
Emma scoffed quietly, pulling out of his arms and rested back on her chair. She had almost nearly forgotten about Terri. "I can't compare what I had with Carl to what you had with Terri."
"Yes you can." He reassured her, reaching out to take her hand and to give it a reassuring, friendly squeeze. "Emma, your relationship and your marriage was just as real as mine was."
Emma shook her head with a bit of a sardonic smile. "Who are we trying to kid, Will? I got married in Vegas." She let out a heavy sigh, shaking her head miserably. "It sounds so ridiculous now that I've said it out loud."
"It's not-" Will started to protest but she turned to him with a pointed look.
"It is ridiculous, Will. I know you don't want to say it because you don't want to hurt my feelings but it is, its ridiculous and quite honestly it is the stupidest thing I have ever done."
"Emma-"
"Stop trying to sugarcoat it Will!" She snapped lightly and his eyes widened at her slightly forceful tone. She shrunk back and smiled sheepishly whispering a, "sorry" before continuing. "I know how much I hurt you Will and I know it hurt even worse because it was so unexpected and I'm sorry. It never should have happened and I am so sorry that you had to get hurt like that." More tears pooled her eyes. "I never wanted to hurt you Will."
Will's lips curled up in a small smile and he squeezed her hand again. "It's alright."
"No!" She cried venomously, catching him by surprise. "It's not alright! Will, I can't stand that I put that look of heartbreak in your eyes! I can't stand that I'm the reason you're alone on Christmas this year! I can't stand that you want to avoid me because seeing me makes you cry! I can't stand that I hurt you!" Tears cascaded down her cheeks in rapid succession, her hand let go of Will's and curled into fists which rested firmly against her thighs.
"Hey," He bravely reached out, taking her face in his hands and wiping away her tears with his thumbs, "Yes, you hurt me but I hurt you too."
Sue's words about Shelby and April flashed through her mind and she felt her heart clench painfully at the reminder. She remembered crying about it for a couple of days, feeling her heart break every time she saw Will in the hallway but then she'd found Carl. She was able to forget about Will's misgivings but Will suffered for months while she paraded Carl around and she was sure that whatever pain and heartbreak Will put her through she'd put him through worse.
"It doesn't matter." She whispered, shaking her head against his hands. "You didn't deserve what I put you through."
Will sighed, dropping his gaze to the floor, unsure of how to respond.
"I hope you can forgive me." Emma whispered sadly, turning her gaze away from Will.
His head snapped up and his brow furrowed. "Forgive you? For what? For finding happiness after I broke your heart? Emma, that's hardly a crime."
Emma shook her head quietly, still refusing to meet his eyes. "For putting you through that pain and..." She paused, taking a deep breath. "..and for lying to myself, to you and to Carl."
Without even looking at him she could feel his confusion radiating off his face. She closed her eyes tightly as she took a few deep and even breaths before speaking, "I dated and married another man when I still had feelings for you."
She heard Will's breath catch and she braved a look in his direction. Their eyes locked and through her own blurred vision she could see the tears beginning to form in his own eyes.
"You still have feelings for me?" He asked, his voice holding all the hope he had been refusing to let himself have.
Emma nodded quietly, more tears dripping from her eyes and cascading over his fingers which still cradled her face. "I do. I've been denying it for the last few months but I do."
Without so much as another word or a warning, Will pulled her into a nearly bone crushing hug, burying his face in her hair. She squeaked in surprise but quickly melted into his arms, snuggling her face into his chest and allowing herself to smile as she finally embraced that she still had very strong feelings for one Will Schuester.
"Thank you." He whispered shakily into her hair. "I don't know what I did to deserve it but thank you."
Her smile then faded as she pulled away slowly, looking him in the eyes. "I don't want to make the same mistakes Will. Rushing into things because of suppressed feelings led us into this whole mess and...I just got out of a long term relationship and even though I don't regret breaking up with Carl it still hurts and I..I'm not ready..."
"Emma," He caressed the side of her face lightly, with a half serious smile on his face, "It's alright I completely understand and I agree. I know you're not ready and I don't expect you to be either. I'm going to wait for you Emma, I promise. This time I won't make those mistakes, this time my heart is yours wholly and completely."
Emma smiled gratefully and through her tightened throat she managed a "Thank you". She leaned back into his chest and his strong arms once again slipped around her. She let out a long, shuddering but contented sigh as she snuggled into his chest.
They sat there for minutes on end in total silence, just enjoying the other's company and warmth and protection and love.
"Will?" She finally broke the silence as she tapped her fingers against his chest lightly.
"Hm?"
"We can still be friends, right?"
A low chuckled vibrated through his chest and she very lightly felt his lips brush against the top of her head. "Of course, Emma what would make you think otherwise?"
"I don't know." She whispered a bit sheepishly.
He pulled her out of the hug and held her by her shoulders lightly, grinning down at her adoringly. "You're incredibly silly, you know that?"
She pouted at him pathetically and it took all the restraint in him not to lean down and kiss it away. Instead he laughed and tapped her pouted lips with his fingertip which caused an instant smile to form on her face.
She bit down on her lip lightly as a thought suddenly occurred to her as Will stood up and she took in his appearance. "Will?" She called to him quietly.
"Yeah?" He paused in the middle of the room, looking over his shoulder towards her with raised eyebrows.
She smiled shyly, her cheeks flushing as she slowly rose to her feet and approached him. She fiddled with the seams of her skirt nervously as a hesitant smile crossed her lips, "It appears we'll both be alone for Christmas this year..."
Realization spread across Will's face and his lips curled in a smirk. "Really? I don't think I'll be alone."
Emma's face fell and panic seized her heart. Had his plans changed in those couple of days? Had he found someone to spend it with?
Will chuckled at the look on her face and he took a step closer to her. "I was planning to invite my best friend over for a little Christmas Eve get together, she hasn't said yes yet but I have a good feeling she might."
The brightness immediately returned to Emma's eyes and her face lit up in a smile. "Oh, I don't Will I don't think you know her as well as you think."
Will let out a small, defeated sigh, his shoulders slumping in dramatic effect. "Oh well, I tried."
He started to turn his body away from her when suddenly she launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck in a tight hold, giggling as she whispered into his ear. "I'd love to."
Will grinned as his arms came around to hold her against him and having Emma in his arms, thinking about the Christmas Eve they'd now spend together even just as friends, he knew he just received the best Christmas present he could have ever asked for.
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