Ty:
I sat down on the table and had to keep my mouth open while Chakwas was examining it. Yet, it wasn't my mouth that needed to be checked, it was my eyes. I had no idea how Bourne managed to see everything so supersaturated.
^So, other than feeling totally repulsive, I feel completely weak.^
)You feel weak? I went from super strength to barely average! Not to mention feeling nearsighted, partially deaf, and oh yeah, no biotics!(
I closed my mouth and snapped my jaw down so hard it broke Chakwas's popsicle stick thing that she was using to move my tongue around. "Whoops, sorry."
)And on top of that, we're both going to make each other look like idiots until we get people to accept that our brains swapped. Me because I lost my super reflexes and shit and feel really slow and clumsy, and you because you can now bend steel with your hands on accident. Or, my hands on accident. Whatever(
I laughed at his apparent concern. ^No, not we have to figure this out. You have to figure this out. I'm Bourne, I can't reprogram stuff.^
)Well, since I have no idea how the hell to undo this either, we're going to be stuck this way for a while. And if Cecelia starts making out with me in your body, that's going to be all kinds of weird, so it'd be nice if we can avoid that…granted, there are far worse things that could happen, but nonetheless…(
^If you do, I will bang Ashley.^
)I didn't say I was going to go up to her and just start frenching her! I mean...argh! If I had my biotics right now- Wait, your body still has Flare, so I can totally do that.(
^My body has a huge toll to using that power, remember? Your nose will explode with blood. Now, I reiterate, if you kiss Shepard, I will sex up Ashley. And I will be sure to do a lot with her. Stuff that you will be tasting once you get your body back.^
)What is so hard to understand about the fact that I do not want Cecelia making out with me!...okay, actually, I guess I can understand that. My point is, how the hell do we convince them that we didn't just go nuts? Because my last attempt went over like a lead balloon tied to a hundred Krogan.(
^Maybe we should just try to play this off as best as possible. It will be a lot easier and your biotics are pretty easy to control.^
)Maybe, but I can't even change the color of this chair I'm in, let alone anything that would actually help in a fight. And again, I'd rather not end up in some weird love rectangle. Or whatever weird shape this would actually be.(
^Yeah, now, remember what I taught you. Imagine the process not the result and try changing the chair.^
He banged his head against the wall. )Drew, you got any advice? You've been in his head longer than me…No, of course not, that'd be too easy.(
So, Ty is currently in the body I am inhabiting, correct?
I just realized that Arnold was this body's AI and calmed myself down from the creepy question. "Yep, I am good. Well, I better get out of here."
Chakwas put her hand on my chest and ineffectively tried to keep me where I was. "No, Bourne, you need to stay in place. The commander told me to keep you here till I figure out what is wrong with you two."
"We've told you what's wrong a hundred times!" Bourne made no effort to hide his irritation. "Are you deaf or something?!"
I put my hand on Chakwas's shoulder. "I can take care of him. Trust me, I am starting to remember everything."
Chakwas looked between us and nodded. "Fine, but if you get into trouble I am drugging you both until I figure out what is wrong."
"Yeah, except my body is genetically engineered, so it'd work on him for maybe 10 minutes, assuming you got the dosage right on the first attempt."
Chakwas turned back to me. "Okay, Bourne, you can go. I am going to need Ty here for additional tests."
There was an electric crackling as he activated my omni-tazer. "Don't even think about it." He looked down at his arm for a moment. "Yeah, don't really see the appeal over the flaming version. I mean, yeah, it works, but it just lacks...flare." He shook his head. "Christ, what do I have to do to convince you idiots? Shoot left handed? Do a backspring? Demonstrate the ability to shut up for more than five minutes? I'm open to suggestions here!"
I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to a corner. "Look, you are me now so drop all the anger first off. Second, stop being a little bitch about this and just accept you are me for a little while."
"I can 'accept' I'm in your body. But I'm not going to 'become' you." He stopped and put a hand over his eyes, before a thought seemed to hit him. "And if you don't help me convince them of the body swap, I can go around the ship as 'you' and ruin your reputation entirely. Maybe also go tell Cecelia she's the ugliest lady and worse kisser I've ever met, and I want to throw up everytime I see her." He crossed his arms. "And if you think I'm bluffing, feel free to test it."
No matter how bad my heart was saying to not let him, my mind was the voice I listened to and it was to let him. "Fine, go do that because it is going to be worse to try and tell them we are each other and there is a higher chance of us being put into a loony bin."
He threw his hands in the air. "We already proved memory erasing is possible, why would mind switching be so unbelievable?"
"Because imagine Ashley kissing you/me. Wait, you might enjoy it because I don't look like the most disgusting thing in the world."
"Jesus christ, the council was less idiotic than you are currently being!" He threw his hands in the air. "Screw this, I'm outta here." He put his hand on a wall, and was suddenly sucked through the portal that suddenly opened. )Wait, how the hell did I just do that?(
I just shook my head and stepped out the door only to be immediately greeted by Ashley. "You feeling better now?"
I looked at my hands and shrugged. "I guess. I need to get down to the simulator."
"I'll come with you."
I turned to her and didn't know what Bourne would do so I asked him. ^Uh, Ashley apparently didn't get the memo earlier and is trying to follow me to the simulator. Little help?^
)Yeah, give me a sec to think...got it. Say you need to blow off steam alone, without an audience... And maybe blame Ty for the stress.(
I shrugged. "Uh sure, you can come but I'm not going to be talking all that much. Need to figure some things out and I do that best when I am holding a gun in my hands."
)Not what I wanted, but close enough to pass I guess.(
^I'm trying to not make you look like an asshole that blames his problems on one guy all the time.^
)...point reluctantly conceded. Any idea how long we have till Feros?(
"Okay, I can use some target practice anyway." Ashley followed me to the elevator and I hit the button.
"So, how long do we have until we reach Feros?"
Ashley pulled up her omni-tool and checked the time. "Uh, about two and a half hours."
^Two and a half hours.^
)F. M. L. How am I supposed to learn how to use this thing in that little time?(
^Okay, remember the first trick I told you I learned?^
)I'm not sure. What exactly do you mean?(
^If you need skills then place your hand on your face and think of fighting. It will program every game character you have seen fight into your brain.^
)...Alright, I guess it couldn't hurt as a starting point.(
The elevator hit the bottom floor and I stepped out and headed for the range. Ashley took a second but caught up to me. "So, Bourne, are you feeling alright?"
Scratched at my arm and thought about it. "All things considered, I feel like everything is too bright and too loud."
"Maybe you are having a migraine from your biotic amp?"
The door to the shooting range was already open and when I stepped inside, I saw Hero had already beat me to the punch. With an audible sigh I grabbed my assault rifle off my back and took up on the left side of the shooting range. After I synced in, twice as many enemies popped up and I took aim.
I fired three bursts and took down four enemies. In my old body I could never aim a gun accurately enough or fight the recoil to get all the shots in. I let a smile come to my face and I quickly began firing more rapidly. Without knowing it, I was taking them down faster than the enemies could be spawned. That, of course, made Hero chime in with her two cents.
*You know, if you keep taking them down like that, you're going to have a hard time convincing anyone you're not actually Bourne.*
I heard her but something came over me. It seemed like I had forgotten the thing that got me through my playthrough but I just realized it again. "Because it was fun…"
"What you mean by that?"
"You don't get it", I collapsed the rifle and stood up. "When I fought before, I did so looking to do more and have a good time. Now, I think I've taken on his attitude and expect everyone to stab me in the back."
I turned around and thought of the one biotic ability I always wanted to try. Focusing on the teleport that the Fury can do I tuned whatever Hero or Ashley said out and flipped forward. There was a slight tingle and I felt like I just slide down a waterslide but I landed it and turned around.
I had jumped all the way across the room and they were staring at me with their mouths agape. "I always wanted to do that."
)Ok, good news first or bad news? That was rhetorical, so I'll just go with bad news first. I only have a few games I can get useful combat data or whatever from. Good news is, those games are Assassin's Creed, Mortal Kombat, and the two greatest superhero games ever made, the Arkham games. But having said that, your closing the eyes trick isn't working so far, and all I've gotten is an annoying after image that won't go away.(
I fought off a laugh. ^Well, I can biotically teleport like the Fury. I must be a better Bourne than you are.^
)There is a difference between not knowing how to do something, and just saying 'fuck it, charge is close enough' and using that because it's simpler. And cooler.(
I hit a few buttons on my omni-tool and brought up a simulated Krogan. Quickly, I began teleporting around it, firing off blows and then jumping to a new place before it could see me.
)You know, maybe it's not working because I'm not really you. Any idea how Danny or Cody used their powers?(
l hit the Krogan with a biotic punch and sent it flying across the room and landing between Hero and Ashley. ^Danny just kind of feels it and thinks about the weapon. Cody has a randomization thing going on so he smacks the vehicle and gets what he gets.^
)And you have to concentrate on what you're doing, right? Which is in serious contrast to how I use my biotics. Most of the time, I'm just kinda using them without really thinking about what I'm doing...come to think of it, that's pretty much what happened with the glitch earlier.(
I cracked my neck and began looking for another opponent to take on. ^I have no idea how you will do it then. Sounds more like you will be randomizing like Cody… Hang on, have you ever tried doing something like the biotic hammer with your knives?^
)Like the Krogan Warlord in multiplayer?...Not quite the same thing, but I've used the biotics to put more force behind them when they've been thrown. How are you coming along with those by the way? Any problems figuring crap out?(
^Nope, Hero says that if I keep it up people will have a tough time believing that I'm not you. I wonder if I can do annihilation field.^
)Until you open you mouth anyway. Then the differences become quite clear...and how is it you can use abilities I can't?(
*If the fellow biotic can make a suggestion, I've got two theories. Either the fact he wasn't merged with Iron makes him less vanguard based, or else it's his less aggressive nature. You're generally more...direct than strategic. No offense.*
^That, or the fact that I focus on what I am doing rather than feeling it allows me to consciously pick the attack I am going to do and enact it.^
)I don't just wave my arm and hope something happens you know. If I want to warp something, it gets warped. If I want to make a shield, a shield appears. If I want to make a singularity...you get the idea. But it is an interesting point.(
I looked at the range and saw that the enemies were beginning to fill it again. ^I kind of am excited to fight Iron if I am in your body Bourne. Think about how surprised he will be when he can't predict your fighting style.^
)I'm hoping we can get this sorted out before that happens. Iron's less skilled than me, even if he's more experienced. Saren has the edge in both fields.(
I pulled one of the knives off my arm and opened it. ^It all depends on you Bourne. I can't do it this time. You have to fix this and be the man that does everything.^
)Two things. A, some sort of 'No pressure' joke and B: you left out the part where I'm fixing your mista- wait, maybe I'm actually not. Think about the timing for a sec.(
^What are you talking about 'the timing'?^
)Think about what we were talking about. How neither of knew what the other one went through, how neither of us could handle being in the other's place- can't be coincidental...is it possible to murder an AI? Because honestly, I really want to try.(
^I'm happy about this then. It will give you a chance to deal with everyone asking you to do a ton of shit you don't care about. By the way, Shepard wants you to speed up the transfer process for the Normandy.^ I floated the knife on my finger and began to spin it until I couldn't see past it. Then, with a flick of my wrist, I sent it down range and began chopping the heads off Geth with it.
)You know, if you keep this attitude up, I might delay putting us back just so I can land your body in hot water, and leave you to deal with the mess. Maybe steal all of Cecelia's underwear and get caught doing it before portaling away and swapping us back.(
*That is...devious. I'm actually impressed despite myself.*
I pulled the knife back and put it back. ^Your just pissed because I didn't pull you out of the fray when you were in trouble.^
*Gee, you figure that out yourself, or did someone help you?*
)Technically, I did tell him it was a complete asshole move...does that count?(
I pulled all the knives off the holders and activated them using quick hand motions to control the biotics. ^Honestly, you two can live in your little world of regret, hate, betrayal, distrust, arguments, and the like because I am done. I'm just gonna have fun with this because it is something to have fun with.^
Somehow, Bourne managed to send an evil grin along the mental link. )You know, you're right.(
All of a sudden, my legs gave out and I fell to the ground. )While I was trying to make something happen, I found the "obey Ty switch" for Arnold and Drew, and switched it around to me. You'll be able to change it back when I fix this, but for now...muahahaha!(
"Hey, Ashley", I looked over at her from my spot on the ground. "Mind heading out for a sec so I can talk to Hannah?"
She shrugged. "Alright. It's pretty obvious I'm not going to be able to hit anything with you here anyway." She turned and started walking towards the door.
As soon as she was out, I pulled myself up and rested on my elbows. "So, first thing's first Hero. Sorry."
*Bourne, give him back his legs.*
)Oh come on, let me enjoy this for a minute.(
*NOW.*
)You are no fun at all, you know that? Arnold, you heard the lady.(
I stood up all the way and walked over to her. "Seriously though, I'm sorry. I acted like an ass and should have helped you when you needed it."
She looked at me for a minute before grimacing. "Yes, you should have...but apology accepted."
)Wow, really, that's it? Damn, you are full paragon.(
I swallowed and finally acknowledged the pit in my stomach. "I am being one-hundred percent truthful though. I guess I let Bourne's attitude get to me and then took it out on you."
)You know, if you'd figured this out a little bit sooner-(
*Bourne, shut the hell up. Go experiment with Ty's powers or something...and try not to fuck anything up too badly.*
)Anything? No mention of anyone, so I can totally work with that.( The line winked out on his end.
"Let me be the one who's one-hundred percent honest now. I'm a little worried about what's he's going to do."
I put my hand up and waved her off. "I'm done with that stuff. Bourne can live in his own little world of distrust and hate. I'm here enjoying who I am and the fact that this is going to be one hell of a ride… again."
She shook her head. "You don't know anything about him. Neither does he, for that matter...you're both alike in a few ways. Hurt one of you, bad. Hurt someone you care about: start running and start praying."
"You know", I paused just thinking about my next words to be sure. "That emotion that Drew assumed was love isn't love. It was respect."
She smiled. "And do you always show that respect by making out in an elevator?"
"Cecelia is a different matter." I smiled too. "I fought you, granted with some serious constraints on my powers but still. You held your own and that's why I made sure to carry you out of there. As a sign that there was no hard feelings and respect."
She opened her mouth to reply, but if she said something, I didn't hear it because my own hand suddenly flew up to my own face and smacked me hard enough to make me see stars.
)Hey Ty, did something just happen to you?(
*Don't pretend that was an accident Bourne.*
)What was an accident?(
I looked at her and smiled. "Least he is having fun too. By the way, remind me to turn him into a woman when I get my powers back."
)Oops, looks like I 'accidently' deleted that function. But seriously, what did I just do to him? I was looking at the mental link to see if the mind thing could be reversed with that somehow.(
*You made him slap himself in the face.*
)...Perfect memory, I love that you made sure I'd know how to do it again if he gets on my nerves.(
I looked over where I was laying and realized all the knives I had out were laying on the ground. With a quick flick of my wrist, I lifted them up and they all began to spin. Then, with another flick, I sent them into the range and cleared out the enemies and restored them.
I quickly blocked the mental link before turning to Hero. "Can you block Bourne out for a second?"
"Yes...but he just told me he had Arnold give him access to the audiovisual feed in your helmet. I kinda wondered how he was keeping up with the conversation that was out loud."
I leaned back on the cover and thought for a moment. "Well, then, Arnold."
"Don't worry, he says he's going to, quote 'let you talk about me behind my back, because this is actually more fun to mess with than I thought it'd be.' Unquote."
"Well, that's good. But I wasn't going to talk about Bourne."
"Just something you don't want him knowing about?...or are you just getting tired of him butting in too?"
"Both, he's getting into my business a lot more that I'd like."
"Well, to be fair, that body is on loan. So technically, it's his business. But yeah, I get the gist."
"Okay, you have my memories minus some that I don't want you to see, correct?"
"Yes. Though some of them are a bit confusing because you were drunk at the time."
"Well, Cecelia has been catching my eye a lot more. Now, I'm very skeptical right now about love, relationships, and women who like me. But, is it weird if I am falling for a program?"
"...Well, that's a bit out of nowhere." She commented, but it did look like she was genuinely considering the question.
"Forget it, stupid question. I'm gonna go steal a beer from Kaidan's stash and see what I can do with biotics while I am drunk." I got up and began walking toward the door.
"Ty, is isn't a stupid question, it's just an unexpected one." She said, following me. "Way I see it, it's not much different than Joker and EDI hooking up. Not common, but not what I'd call weird...also, you know that unless Bourne does something, it's literally impossible for you to get drunk with what's onboard, right?"
Quickly my legs gave out from under me and slammed into the ground. "Damn it."
"Was Bourne being an ass again, or was that just you?"
I shook my head. "This is me giving up on life for a little bit."
"If you ask Bourne, he might be able to get something working… or he'd accidentally remove the liver instead. Yeah, on second thought, probably a bad idea."
"Hero, three thing you should know about me. I am in college so I drink a lot, I hate both the Tali and Garrus along with Joker and EDI, and Firefly is one of my favorite shows."
"...what does that last one have to do with the current situation?"
"It's the only thing keeping me going right now."
She sighed. "Just hang in there. Bourne's not a genius, but he's bound to figure it out at least on accident at some point."
I rolled over and stared at the ceiling. "Well, chances rest in favor of him not figuring it out. Especially with Ashley weighing him down."
"He managed to win last time with her here...and I think the reason he's being so...reluctant to do anything with her is because it's a different 'her.' In his mind, it's like cheating on his version. But at the same time, he doesn't want to just ignore her entirely in case he ends up stuck here."
I facepalmed. "Hero, my powers are based on one not questioning what they can do. Bourne can't delete anything I can do because he only can manipulate his own mind. Now, when you are in a relationship with someone you begin to question yourself and in turn question what you can do. If you question it, you don't believe it. If you don't believe it, you can't do it."
"If he honestly didn't think he could use your powers, he wouldn't be so calm about it. Look, between Iron, and a billion other screw ups, he's almost always doubting himself, even if he doesn't show it, or even know it."
"So we are screwed. I'm going to be stuck as him forever."
She shook her head. "Not what I meant. His strength isn't that he lacks self doubt, it's that he can overcome it to get the job done. Hell, he might even be having fun doing it."
"Hero, it's not doubting what you can do. If he doubts it then it can't be done. He has to believe he can and he will."
"Good advice." She raised a hand to her comm. "You get all of that Bourne?...alright, then get to work.."
"Of course he was listening in. I wonder if I could bring a pillow down from the sleeping pods so I can lay here comfortably."
The next moment, a pillow fell from the ceiling and landed next to me.
"He's a quick learner when he's determined." Hero commented.
I positioned the pillow under my head. "Let's just hope he is a 'true believer' as Stan Lee would say."
My omni-tool suddenly dinged from an incoming message. I clicked the button and opened it so I could read it. The Phrase was "Face Front True Believers".
Bourne:
I closed the omni-tool and stepped away from the glitch. I'd been skeptical of Ty when he'd said how many there were, but now I was seeing them almost every five feet. I looked around the hallway again. How I was seeing it now was...different, to say the least. I'd tried Ty's trick of picturing the code, but it hadn't worked. What I'd managed with a little effort was more like a trance, or walking meditation. Instead of seeing only the code, it was more like it had been overlaid across the environment, and if I really focused on something, then its functions would be labeled. And as for how to interact with it- I imagined myself typing the commands, maybe even actually moving my fingers if I needed to.
It made sense in an odd way though. I had a difficult time believing everything was just code, and not actually real. Even with proof to the contrary. But if I only saw the important parts, where I could interact with it- Then I can make Arnold actually listen to me for once. Or Drew, when it's called for.
I fingered the tomahawk I'd grabbed out of Ty's locker. Since it was coded to his biosignature, I hadn't even had to try anything fancy with it. Though if he remembers to store my Assassin, I'm going to replace it with his gun when he's not looking.
^Where's my tomahawk?^
)You have my knives. Seemed only fair. And I thought you were taking a nap anyway.(
^No, I'm laying here in self loath because I can't drink.^
)Yeah, I'd try to help you with that, but since I apparently have to believe I can do something, and I'm worried about causing liver failure...that thing already got replaced once. Just saying.(
^I'm going to be trapped in your body forever. I am going to be stuck in here for the rest of my life. I am going to go back to your universe and everyone is going to hate me. My only friends will be a girl that I don't really like and a hot lesbian.^
)On the off chance that does happen, don't call her that to her face unless you want yours punched in. And relax, will you? Way I see it, this is like a mod or something. And mods can be uninstalled.(
^But, I have no idea how I installed this mod as you call it. But to make more logical sense. I think our minds got taken out of our files and transferred to the other person.^
)Then all I have to do is transfer them back. Easy peasy lemon squeezy...hey, have you felt more brooding or depressed since ending up in my body? Because for some reason, I'm in a way better mood than I should be.(
^Yes, yes I am. Luckily, my sparkling sense of humor is keeping me from becoming biotic batman like you.^
)Batman wishes he was as cool as me...god, please tell me I didn't just say that.(
I could reassure you if you wish, but it would not be true.
I rolled my eyes at Drew.
Suddenly, I felt a pair of hands land on my shoulders and push me forward. "I need to talk to you."
)Ty, your girlfriend says she wants to talk to me. How do I get away without fucking it up for you?(
^Uh… Uh… Uh… I don't know. Go see what she needs, if it gets too awkward tell me and I will port in their with the teleport.^
I turned around to face her, making sure the faceplate was closed. "What about?" I tried to sound casual, though it was honestly really strange not hearing my own voice.
"Come to my room and I will show you." She kept pushing me along past the elevator and right to her door.
)She's telling me to come into her room so she can 'show me'...Awkward zone engaged.(
^I will be there in a sec.^
The door opened and she sat me down in front of her computer. On the video feed was Ty laying in a test chamber and a Cerberus scientist facing the camera.
)Wait, this might not be what I thought it was. I think she's been looking over the OSDs we took about "patient zero" and "patient 24"(
^Okay, then I'm just going to continue to lay here.^
)Just...be ready, alright? I don't think she knows how to open this thing, but if she starts stripping or something like that...well, honestly, that show might be worth the consequences. Damnit, no, no, bad Ty's brain. Stop making me act like him!( I shook it away and focused on the guy at the screen.
"-Day one hundred and seventeen."
)You might want to see this. I get the feeling that she's going to have questions about it, and my last attempt at a fake backstory failed pretty spectacularly in the long run. Drew, send my audio-video feed to his omni-tool.(
^Sounds good, I could use something to watch… maybe I will just look up firefly.^
I ignored that as the scientist continued. "Results so far have been...unexpected, to say the least. Then again, when they told me they took his brain from an old millenium game none of us knew what to think. Somehow, this man got his mind stuck in the game Dragon Age. We were able to extract it and now the nanites are reacting to it."
)Well, at least they got the right developer.( I glanced over at Shepard, but her face was unreadable.
"Now, the man refers to everything as a video game believing that he is still in it. Some of the men have been calling him Ty. I cannot comprehend why but then again the tests we have been running haven't really been on the people around him."
)You're watching this, right? Because as far as documentaries go-(
^Huh, no, I have been watching Firefly season 3. I can't believe they actually got around to making this.^
)Arnold, override his omni-tool's extranet and transmit this instead...and delete the extranet history of anything he looks at.(
^Bourne, I will just open up a new tab and watch it. I just don't care about what's going on with my origin story.^
)Have it your way. Drew, begin reversing male enhancement of this body.(
Ty never had male enhancement done. It wasn't needed.
)... So much for that threat.( I looked from the normally invisible mental link- which was its own set of zeros, and the code at the edge of the screen. I shrugged and made the tv's code plug directly into our brains as the guy continued talking. "Some of the things he's able to do are baffling. We obviously don't understand what these Prothean nanites can do but the possibilities so far are limitless."
"Here's where it gets interesting." Cecelia commented as the video feed was cut and turned back on.
The man looked a bit older from the last vid. "Patient Zero as he is now called has taken a strange turn. The cloned nanites we took from patient twenty four have formed a red Zero on his chest. It doesn't look like it is going to be a problem but further investigation is necessary."
The next timestamp on the screen showed it was just a week later. "One of the men invited Ty to play poker with them. He ended up winning all their money so they tried beating him. He did not raise a fist to them but the men that engaged him are now experiencing major acid reflux and their stomachs have lost their ability to hold their own stomach acid."
)...that's the same thing you did back on the cerberus ship.(
^This isn't real remember? It's a lie made by the AI to convince Shepard and the others of the nanite story.^
)I know. But lets just say that type of lie isn't the easiest to cover all bases with...also, this pretty clearly states that we knew each other before we met on Eden Prime, despite acting like we hadn't.(
^It said that I got cloned nanites from you, not that I met you.^
)Lets hope she accepts that.(
The last vid came on and the place was being torn apart. "Ty has gone crazy. We tried to turn him off but he didn't want to and said we were trying to make him lose. We have no idea why he believes this but he has liquified several men and is now trying to wake the other-" the man was cut off as he became covered in code and exploded, revealing a Ty, now covered in blood.. Ty looked at the camera and smiled.
"This is patient Zero otherwise known as Ty coming to you live from Cerberus base zero-five-one. Now, most of you are asking yourselves why I am doing this and all I can say is… for the laughs. Now, I got thirty other patients to wake up so, later." After that the video closed off and left only a blank screen.
"...you know, I never have much liked documentaries." I said aloud, guessing that Shepard would be pissed about us 'hiding' this. That, or she'll be turned on by it.
"You remember any of this?"
)Ty?(
^Somewhat, my memory got corrupted by a shot to the head right at the end.^
"Well, some of it. I think I got shot in the head at one point, which scrambled things up a little."
She bit her lower lip and seemed to think of it for a second. "Okay, now let me show you Bourne."
)This'll be interesting. Or terrifying. Or possibly creepy.( "You're not calling him up here to see it himself?"
"No, I wanted you to see this first since you are in one of the videos."
"Alright. Fire it up then."
The same man from before came on the screen, looking years or even decades younger. "Cerberus Lab zero-five-one, project upsilon, day three hundred and forty three. Attempts to genetically engineer a biotic super soldier have finally borne fruit." The camera shifted to reveal what had to have been a younger version of myself. "Although the accelerated growth has proven effective so far, it may have untold side effects on his mind. It's an experiment within an experiment. As a result, we are beginning the same process with another set of these clones. If necessary, we can use him as to learn from our mistakes and succeed with the others."
)Why do I not like the sound of that?(
The next vid was at a much later point in time. "Day four hundred and ninety eight. The original soldier is a total loss. Complete mental degradation. Fortunately, we had already slowed the progress of the others, so there is a chance they'll be more controllable. On the off chance they are not, we are setting two aside. Instead of imprinting during development, we are going to be going the more traditional route to get them to our way of thinking. It will be years before anything further comes of though."
I whistled softly as the video skipped forward again.
"Day eight hundred and forty four. The in utero imprinting was a failure. Only Patients 23 and 24 have survived. Luckily, there seem to thus far be no negative effects from their...unusual origins. Aside from a possible case of sociopathy in 24. He seems unusually aggressive, and sarcastic His face never seems to move. Odd, given that 23 seems to charm anyone he talks to. We had to discipline one of the nurses after he convinced her to sneak him chocolate. We will be accelerating his combat training, and seeing if we can train him further in that field, for espionage and overcover work." It blinked out.
Before I could say anything, the last vid started and Ty was on the screen. "You're prime time with Ty. Now, these two have really gotten on my nerves in the last couple months. Not just with the fighting and the fact that you keep throwing me in the ring with subject twenty-three but just how attached to them you are. So, here's what I am going to do. I am going to release them at the same time and see what happens. Maybe twenty-four can tear twenty-three to shreds or vise versa. But anyway", he hit a button on the control pad, "let's just observe, shall we?" After that the vid cut and it was over.
)Twenty-three?(
^Iron, dumbass.^
)Yeah, guess it'd have to be. That or it's just something the AI made up for kicks.(
^I think it said you were a clone too.^
)Yeah, I noticed.(
"If his face is anything to go on, Bourne lost that fight." I said, turning to Cecelia.
She nodded. "Yeah, I don't know if we should show him though."
"Why not?" I asked, genuinely curious how she thought I might react.
"He's unstable and has said before he has amnesia. On top of that, imagine how angry he would be if he found out that you are the reason his face got screwed up."
I chuckled. "He already threw me out of an elevator. Hard to see how he'd top that."
She thought for a moment. "Ty, can we talk about us for a moment?"
)...FML. Or FYL. Whichever. What should I say? Or should I just go with my gut and open that glitch on the ceiling over there?(
^Keep calm and listen to me. Say yes.^
)I can do one of those things.( "Sure."
She looked a bit distraught. "The stuff you and I have been doing lately. Is that harmless flirting or is there something behind it?"
)I just want to point out I could totally ruin your life right now, but am going to be nice and not do that.(
^And because you aren't, I thank you. Just tell her, you never thought past it until now. But now that she mentions it. You think there might be.^
)Huh. I was kinda expecting you to say the opposite...wait, is this some reverse psychology bullshit where you're saying the opposite of what you mean because you think I'm going to turn it on its head and actually try to ruin your life? Because I was being straight up when I said I was going to say what you told me to.(
^Fuck it, I have been watching firefly here and Malcolm just gave me the best advice ever. If it wasn't going to work then I would have an example not to do it and I don't.^
"Well, I hadn't really thought about it till now. But, yeah, I think there might be."
Shepard's head fell on my shoulder and she let out a deep sigh. "Thank god, I was hoping I wasn't just embarrassing myself."
)Yeah, this is getting weird. Any way for me to get out here?...Maybe call me on the Com or something?(
There was a huge flash behind me and when I turned around I saw Ty in my body, leaning against the wall.
"Don't you ever knock?" I fake gripped.
"Sorry, needed to see if the teleport works through walls."
Shepard turned around and took a swing at him but he teleported to the other side of the room. "Gees, Ty, now I know why you port all over the ship. This is just fun."
"I know I ditched her, but did Chakwas finish checking your head out? I don't think I've ever heard you use the word fun in your life. You sure you even know what it means?"
"I recently learned the meaning when I figured out how to do this." He teleported forward, grabbed me and teleported us into the cafeteria.
I looked down at myself, then at him. "Damn, I need to learn how to do that when I get back in there."
Ty smiled and crossed his arms. "I thought you said that biotic charging was enough?"
"Yeah, but it doesn't go through walls...Well, it does, actually, if the wall's weak enough. But it can't get past walls."
Joker cut him off from his reply with an announcement. "Attention ground team. ETA, thirty minutes."
I looked at him, and me, and the various labels for the code that surrounded us both. I sighed. "Good thing I downloaded the knowledge how to use your tech powers. Because no way I can switch us back that quickly." I looked up at him. "I don't even want a scratch on that body, got it?" It was partly said in humor, but also very serious.
"Pft, it's a rental." With that he ported away and was nowhere to be seen.
How is it that even though he's in my body, I still want to break his nose? And arms? And legs?
*How'd your meeting with 'your' girlfriend go?*
)Like a documentary.( I deadpanned. )I'm going to head down and gear up.(
*You're not seriously thinking of fighting in Ty's body, are you?*
)What else am I supposed to do, break my own leg so I can't? Or his own leg so I can't? Fuck this is confusing! I think I prefered the venom speak!(
^Dude, you are going to have to stay behind me for a lot of this. I at least can run your powers efficiently.^
)I think I can hit a button to launch a fireball. Or a combat drone. Or freeze something. I downloaded a few apps for these things when I taught myself how to batman someone.(
*And if you forget which buttons are which?*
)...Do you remember who you're talking to?(
*I didn't know if the perfect memory carried over.*
)It did. I'll prove it.( I tugged the code that ran from me to Ty, and there was a faint crash somewhere down below. )How are the legs working?(
^You just made me punch Wrex across the bay!^
)...(
*Yeah, I'm going to ask Cecelia if she wants me to fill in for you. Or for you, if Wrex manages to kill him.(
^He told me that he is beginning to like you almost as much as he likes Ty.^
)Which is why I totally meant for that to happen.(
Your elevated heart rate suggests that statement is false.
)This sentence is false.(
Paradoxes don't work on us.
)Meh, it was worth a try.(
*Yeah, you're staying here.*
I looked around the mess hall, at the various glitches, looking for one that led to the cargo bay. There was one near Alenko's terminal, so I headed towards it. )I'm not an idiot, alright? I got Fortification, and a Geth Shield boost.. And I don't see how cryo explosions or fire explosions are that much different than a biotic combo.
^You don't have Tech armor, Fortification is more for melee and Geth shield boost breaks once your shields are out.^
)I also possess the unique ability to duck behind cover...though Tech Armor is a good idea. And maybe switch Shield Boost for defense matrix.( I activated my omni-tools, and they were instantly covered in the code. )Boom. Done.(
*Are you sure you did what you meant to?*
^I'm not. Then again, I never needed it.^
I looked down at my arms, and hit a button on my right wrist. A moment later, I was surrounded by the glowing orange energy armor. )Well, considering I just activated tech armor, I'd say I did. Hmm, wonder what else I could load this thing up with?( I hit the button again, and the detonation broke the screen on Alenko's terminal. I sighed, and waved a hand over it, code forming a sort of transparent tablet. I looked at the various options, and hit repair. )Though if I have to deal with any of those thorian creepers, I have a really good way to kill several at once.(
*What did you break with it?* Hero asked with a sigh.
)Nothing I can't fix. Boom, good as new.( I removed my hand, and instead plunged it into the glitch, letting it suck me through. I landed on my feet in front of my locker. Huh, that reminds me. I used the code to open it, grabbed my Assassin, and put in Ty's gun before closing it again.
^Well, time to tear the loogy a new one.^
)It's already guaranteed to go better than last time I did it.(
^Uh, I feel… what's the word for not hungry?^
S7: Yeah, it's gotta be a different experience being someone who can't eat.
)Argh! Why is stuff not flying into my hands when I reach for it! I hate having to walk and get stuff!(
T117: The sad part is, I think that actually would be my reaction too.
^Okay, how do I teleport?^
S7: Uh, Bourne?
)Fuck. Off. Seriously T117, you let Ty figure out how to do that after saying a hundred times that- seriously dude. Not. Cool.(
T117: It was Spike's idea.
)And you just went along with it. Not. Cool.(
S7: Yeah, now Ty can still teleport.
^Only this teleportation kinda sucks since it is short distance and takes away my shields. Trust me Bourne you're not missing out on much.^
)Yeah, but I went to lift something earlier and almost threw my...er, your back out. How do you handle being this...not strong?(
^I just transform my armor into something that boosts my strength.^
)Yeah, I meant...forget it.(
^You were trying to make fun of me, weren't you?^
)Dude, I just went from super soldier to skinny nerd. So yeah, let's go with that.(
^You are such an asshole!^
)Says the guy that caused this in the first place!(
T117: I can always log you both out if you don't want to talk to each other.
^If you did that then this caveman would probably break his keyboard over your head!^
)Why would I hit him with a device he's probably rigged to explode? Even if I didn't get killed when it went off, it'd do that to him, and then I'm depending on the nutcase that created you to finish this thing alone.(
(Uh...I'm just saying, T117's the guy that put me together, so...I think he's a lot more of a nutcase than Spike.)
)Fine. The nerd that put Ty together. And before you say T117's a nerd, he is, but Spike's a way bigger nerd.(
T117: I don't know about...okay, at least slightly more of a nerd than me.
S7: Yeah, least I don't enjoy grabbing other men.
)Hey, looks like there was an error with auto correct there. It said don't instead of do.(
S7: Hey you know what I enjoy? Remembering my childhood. All those good times. Yeah.
)And I enjoy having followers and favorites.(
T117: I swear, if you don't stop acting like children, I will log you out.
(You don't have the Crazey metal has been logged out by host.
S7: You're the one that is literally talking for the musclebound asshole. Just stop writing him.
*You're not exactly blameless here.*
S7: How?
*You're writing for Ty. 'Caveman?'. Also, you're directly responding to Bourne...I think that at least one of you has a mental disorder, since he's essentially responding to a real person as a fictional character, and you're responding to said fictional character.*
S7: Then why don't you stop talking to me through fictional characters, Trebor?
T117:...I dunno.
S7: You got a problem with me? Because that "I have more followers than you" shit keeps coming up.
T117: Uh, cause we both know it's true? Besides, you have the fan art thing on your side. I've never gotten fan art or anything.
S7: That's it, I'll meet you by the flagpole after school tomorrow.
T117:...Dude, we don't even live in the same state.
S7: Nope, I'm getting in my car and driving over to you and kicking your ass.
(FYI, these two are totally playing this stuff up for drama.)
S7:Eh, can you blame us? Half the people reading this story are here for the author's notes.
T117: Also, didn't I log you out?
(Rule of funny.)
^He's got you there.^
(Plus, I could literally reach over to Hero's keyboard if I wanted to type something and wasn't logged in. She'd kick my ass afterwards, but still.)
^Well, now that everyone knows that Bourne and my arguement is all theatrics, anyone want to get Arby's and-^
)What do you mean, all theatrics?(
^... Were you seriously being a dick to me then?^
)That's not how I'd put ikrog nk11er24 has been logged off by host.
T117: Arby's sounds good to me.
S7: Okay, first, the reason that Ty has biotics down was because on top of Bourne's muscle memory, all of his powers rely on focus. Therefore, you gotta take the knowledge that he already had experience (Flare) only now he has an amp to help him with it. Alright, lets go! 1473I2.
T117: Sayonara folks.