A/N: I had a day off today! I should've started writing this, but instead I socialized…and figured out a few interesting things teehee…*mysterious smile*. Anyway, I wonder if this'll be the end…I already have it planned out pretty much I mean…Ah well, will you miss this? I know it was an average fanfic, but I don't know, this gives me serious feels :P. (I'll definitely be writing more, just not for a while. I will probably write drabbles here and there, and slowly work up a nice hefty plot….or maybe I'll make an epilogue of this…I can't decide ^-^) Sorry for ranting, enjoy. :3.
Why did Shizuo leave? It didn't ever seem to occur to Izaya and Shinra in the year after the incident, that half the reason wasn't Izaya's supposed "death." He was tired. Know that feeling, where you just about give up? Where…you just…don't want to continue on living in a place where you hardly feel welcome and you just feel…so alone. Everything feels wrong…
For so long, Izaya sat around regretting his decisions. He wasn't going to go after his Shizuo this time. Shizuo didn't want to be found this time, and everyone in the city deep down knew that Shizuo was just a guy trying to enjoy his life. He didn't ever mean to have such unimaginable strength. He didn't want to get caught up in such a life full of guns, violence, and death.
Shizuo wasn't Izaya. Although, deep down Izaya knew that this life couldn't last forever for him, too. Even he would get tired of his humans, and playing with them. They seemed to repeat the same actions again and again. What was the point anymore living such a dangerous life?
Does anyone ever really want to live forever in the fast lane?
Doesn't everyone deep down want to be able to just take a seat and hold the hand of the person they love?
If only Izaya could do that, but his Shizuo was long gone.
He wasn't going to go back to a life full of twists and turns.
Izaya was about on the verge of leaving that life, too.
After all, without a monster to play with, nothing was close to as fun.
It is a year and a few months after the incident with Shizuo being kidnapped. Since then, Akabayashi took over the Awakusu-kai. Shiki was greatly mourned there and missed. The twins had gotten plastic surgery from Shinra and they fled to Europe. Shinra and Celty, well nothing much was new with them. They were giddy and in love.
Izaya on the other hand, had calmed down a lot. He didn't play around with his humans much. He was rather passive in life. He didn't do much and only did as much to get a decent paycheck. It wasn't like he was depressed or anything, but life wasn't as colorful and rosy as before.
Amazing how one person can change things so drastically in an instant…
~ Izaya POV ~
Hmmm…where is Namie? Why does she have to disappear when we have work to do? Files don't sort themselves you know!
…I'm calling her. She better have an explanation for not showing up today!
"Namie."
"Izaya."
"So, how are you today my wonderful and beautiful secretary?"
"Stop lying. What do you want?"
I can't even see Namie's face, yet I can hear the attitude written all over her face.
"I was just curious as to why you weren't here. I have a lot of work to do, and it is inconveniencing me to have you disappearing to do whatever nonsense you are doing!"
"Izaya. Please tell me you aren't fucking serious."
"Are you giving me attitude? You know I don't like cursing very much Namie~!"
"Come on. Can't you let me off today?"
"Why? You could at least forewarn me you know…"
"Izaya, it is Christmas Eve."
"…"
-click-
This is a j-joke right?
How could I forget something like this…?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not some pathetic mess after Shizuo disappeared on me again. I don't blame him for this time. I lied about killing myself and…still. I am not mad. I've…moved on. He has become an important memory…and a sad one.
I can't deny that I still love him. Feelings don't disappear overnight.
…Especially feelings that have been there for so many years…
I sent a text to Namie telling her to get over here right after Christmas. I don't need her fooling around while I am working terribly hard over here. Honestly.
I feel so distant.
Holidays are just awful anyway…There is so many lights and money that needs to be spent…
I feel so lonely.
Hah! I am not going through this crap again! Back when Shizuo disappeared I had a crazy mental breakdown. It was pretty awful, and I think if any of my humans saw me in that state, they would hardly be able to call me their god. But it made me stronger, and I think my gorgeous hair has long stopped falling out…
Things are finally seeping back to the normal life…before any of this happened.
Isn't that what I've wanted?
-brrrrrrrr brrrrrr-
"Hello, Orihara Izaya."
"It is Akabayashi."
"How can I help you?"
"This is a…slightly odd request. And it is a little much of to me ask of you."
"Spit it out then! What do you need me to do?"
"Well…"
"Someone I have been tailing and tracking has run off. Normally, I would send off one of my men to go fetch him."
"Then send one out? I'm not a delivery boy to go get him for you."
"Well, you see…"
"Well what? Akabayashi-san, I am incredibly busy at the moment. Do you realize how busy the holiday times are?"
"This, you might enjoy though. You can pile all your work on your assistant. Then, go out to Kofu and find information about our runaway. I don't know anything else about him other than that he has run off there."
"Can't one of your silly lackeys get to doing that?"
"Y'see…I am having an issue because they are all off on…business. This is really urgent and I don't have anyone else to turn to…After Shiki-san died, I don't think I've quite got a handle on this job to be honest."
"You're way too soft…"
"…"
"But that is why Shiki-san trusted you so much I guess…"
"Hm. I guess you're right," Akabayashi said, smiling through the phone.
"So…how urgent is this and what is there to benefit me? I will expect a hefty sum from this~!"
"Have fun there. It'll be like a free vacation. The pay should be nice."
What the hell. Why not? I haven't had a vacation in a really long time and I think it might be a nice change from all the city life.
"I'm interested. Send me over your information and details on the trip."
"…Would it be possible for you to leave this evening?"
"In a few hours…I still have a few appointments…."
"Of course. Until next time."
"Yes. I'll inform you when I'm finished. Bye."
"Oh, and Izaya."
"Yes?"
"Merry Christmas."
-click-
-sigh-
Hm. This could be pretty fun…I guess…
I almost feel like I'm forcing myself to have fun..
I've always wanted to seriously go on a trip like this…
My humans I know will miss me very much buuut~…How can I pass up such a great offer?~
The new head of the Awakusu-kai just sent me over the guy I will be trailing and getting information on.
Heh. Looks like this won't be as hard as I thought.
Takahashi is my prize again. What has my favorite little delinquent been up to this time?~
[Refer to Chapter 3]
Hm…I don't know whether or not I should tell Namie or not I am leaving…
It would be terribly fun to mess with her and just you know, disappear without a trace and she'll never know and she'll have a fit…
Hehehehe…I'm getting excited just thinking about it…
I already got to my last three clients. They all just wanted simple information that I didn't mind dishing out for a nice price~….although that is pretty lucky. Normally my clientele makes me go out and fetch information about a particular individual which can be quite the nuisance. The informant life is fun, but occasionally a little tiring…
Ah, well…Time to head out to Kofu. Fresh air and beautiful temples here comes the great Orihara Izaya~!
Hah…I thought I remembered the name of this city before.
It was the same city that…Shizuo and I….
It was that time from what seemed like so long ago…
I miss being in love like that…
This train is taking too long. A few hours can seem like hell…
I can't deny that deep down, I wish Shizuo was with me again.
I deserve a fairytale ending after all this hell.
But that won't happen.
All I've got is myself now.
The train keeps passing by.
No, I don't think that I could do this forever.
The memories haunt me…
Why the hell did I agree to this trip again?
Damnit, I hardly even feel like myself anymore…
Why is life even worth living anymore?
Ah, no matter. The train ride will be soon over and dear Takahashi can face my wrath hehe~!
Takahashi was an idiot, truly. I don't see why I was sent out here, he was so easy to deal with. In fact, this whole drug issue passed over rather quickly for something that Akabayashi seemed to be deeply concerned about.
I'm calling up Akabayashi to see why…
"Already done?"
"Yes. I don't see what was so urgent…"
"Oh, I don't know. I think Shinra and I both agree you needed a break…"
"A break?~ I'm perfectly fine."
"Hm. Well…let's not push it."
"Since when did the leader of the yakuza become a giant softie?"
"…Just stay there a little. I'm sure you'll find what you've been wanting for so long."
"…What does that mean? Akabayashi-san, I am very busy if I'm done I should really head back…"
"A day or two more can't hurt?"
"…Well if you INSIST, then I'll be sure to head by to the nearest hot spring~! Or maybe I'll rent a hotel room…and I'll order all the ootoro that I want teehee~! You said you would pay for everything right?"
"…Just, don't get me broke here."
"I accept your challenge Akabayashi-san~!"
-click-
Honestly, why was he so insistent? I don't know, my moods have been so bipolar lately…Damn Shizuo gets to me even when he has disappeared.
I can still hear his laugh, rumbling through the room as if he was here again…
…I need to let go for a little while.
I need to relax…
Honestly, I don't know how much more unhappiness and depression I can take…
A/N:…I hate this story haha! I don't know…something about it…
I think 1 more chapter after this…
On a side note, I have been pretty depressed so I think it has affected my writing..-sigh-