And here we are! The last chapter for this part of the story! Eventually I will get around to rewriting it because I think the ending is rubbish but I'm back at Uni and I've gotten quite busy.
You'll hate me for what's going to happen but I assure you all that in the sequel things will even out.
How easily things are flipped upside-down. Yesterday is a day I never want nothing more than to forget...and yet...I find myself thinking about it constantly.
Gale fled Cair Paravel and Peter kicked Tristan and his Galman court out. Nobody would leave me alone. And the only person I wanted to talk to—Finnick—was avoiding me. I've never been so lonely before.
Peter.
He said he loved me but he easily ignored me for Dany.
He said he wanted to be with me but he wasn't there when Gale attacked.
Do I even love him anymore?
Well that's a stupid question...I don't think anything can prevent me from loving him.
I breathe in a rush of warm, salty, sea air, feeling the mist from the waterfall in the courtyard spray my face.
Maybe that's why I'm so angry with him. I love him and count on him to always be there and he wasn't. But I still love him. After all, the way he roared at Dany this morning when she tried to defend her brother was quite amusing, despite everything that happened. I will always love him, even if I'm about to do what I know is going to kill him inside.
"Evi," Peter sighs, wasting no time in wrapping his arms around me, "I'm so sorry I wasn't there. I'm so sorry that I was such an arse. I should've been there. I shouldn't have been with Dany. I'm such a bloody idiot."
"It's ok, Pete," I chuckle, easing his anxiety, "None of us knew something like that was going to happen. If anything you tried to warn me, you even said yourself you didn't like the way he was looking at me."
"No, it's not ok," he shook his head, "And I'm going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you."
My smile fades and suddenly I'm having second thoughts about what I'm going to say.
"And now that Galma is gone we can look through those books. We can find a way to be together," he smiles.
"Peter, the books are gone," I blurt out but he doesn't quite register my words.
"Gone? What do you mean gone?" he frowns.
"They were stolen. Finnick and I looked but we couldn't find a single trace of them," I sigh, feeling my eyes warm with tears and seeing Peter lose his cool.
"But...how is that possible? Evi, they can't be gone! They're in your room, check again! They can't be gone! We're supposed to be together. I love you!"
Before I can say anything, Peter's lips crash down on mine. All the restricted passion, all the unrequited love pours from that kiss, his tongue sliding against mine and his hands becoming tangle in my hair. And I kiss him back. I kiss him back like my life depends on it, trying to memorize the feeling of his tongue, the taste of his lips—
"Peter!" I gasp, shoving him away from me, my hand flying to my mouth.
What did I just do?
His eyes widen with the horror of what just happened.
"No," he shakes his head, "He can't take you from me. I won't let it happen. I love you, we love each other," he takes my hands in his again.
My heart feels like it's going to burst through my chest as the tears tumble down my cheeks. How to I appease Arma? How do I make this right? I can't leave. I can't leave Narnia not for just a kiss.
"You love me right?" Peter asks, the tears pooling in his eyes.
"No," I say, my eyes tightly closed.
I can't look at him. If I look in his eyes I won't be able to lie.
"I don't love you, Peter," I say more strongly, opening my eyes.
A pained look crosses his face and a few tears tumble down his cheeks. But then he looks at me holding my arms, pressing my body into his chest.
He knows I'm lying.
My God, he can't know! He just can't! I can't leave!
"You're lying. I can see it!" he yells.
"No," I shake my head.
"You're lying! Why can't you tell me you love me?" he tightly squeezes my arms, imploring my eyes for the truth.
"Because I can't leave Narnia! If I tell you that I love you, I have to leave!" I scream, ripping my arms from him, my eyes being blinded by my tears.
"You're choosing Narnia over me?"
"No! I'm choosing Finnick!"
The words flew out of my mouth so fast I didn't even realise what I said until Peter's face darkened, suddenly backing away from me.
"Finnick?" his voice is constricted, barely able to even speak.
"Yes," I continue the lie, feeling my stomach churn, "I love him."
"No," he shakes his head, still not quite believing me, "You're lying again."
"I'm not," I determinedly stare at him, trying to even convince myself, "I love Finnick. He was there for me last night and...I slept with him."
Peter chokes back a sob, so much pain twisting his face.
"How could you?" he whispers.
"I didn't plan on falling in love with him," I coldly tell him, knowing that every lie is torturing him even more, "He's just been there f—"
"SHUT UP!" he roars, "You lying bitch! I LOVED you! I gave you EVERYTHING! And-and THIS is what you do? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? TH-THIS WHOLE TIME YOU MADE ME BELIEVE WE LOVED EACH OTHER. EVI, I LOVED YOU!"
"Peter—"
"NO! I don't want to hear anymore," his emotion-laden voice unable to keep up his roaring tone, "I hope you and Finnick enjoy fucking each other's brains out."
"Peter—" I try again.
"Just stop it, Evi...You're dead to me," he callously states.
And he turns back inside.
For a moment, I keep my sob from slipping out. But my sorrow becomes too great to bear and I crash to my knees in a weeping heap.
When I said that I was going to say something, that wasn't it.
The result—though, I had hoped it wouldn't be as bad as it was—was still the same. I asked Peter to meet me here so I could tell him about the books and tell him that he has to move on. I was going to tell him that he doesn't have to wait for me anymore that he could have a real life and a real family.
But then he kissed me and I kissed him back.
And I panicked.
I thought if I told him that I love Finnick that Arma would let me stay. I don't even know if that's true but it just slipped out. And it just kept coming. I just had to make him believe I didn't love him. I can't leave Narnia. I can't betray Narnia like Granddad did. I refuse to be like that man, that traitor...my God, I'm so selfish.
What have I done?
- Fifteen Years After the Battle of Beruna-
If I didn't know any better, I'd think things were just like they were when I first came to Narnia. Susan despises me, Finnick and I are at each other throats. The only difference is, Peter can't stand me. The moment I told him the lie about Finnick, he made it his mission to make my life a living hell. He ignores my advice, ignores my battle strategies. Because of his egotistical pride we had to ride to Ettinsmoor to battle the giants after he insulted their king. Even then he didn't listen to me and he was almost, almost killed.
He's rude to me, flaunts every new broad hanging on his arm in my face, and frivolously spends money. He takes nothing seriously anymore and is far from High King Peter The Magnificent.
And Finnick.
Finnick might be even worse.
I told him what I said to Peter, that lie about sleeping with him. And he blew up in my face too. He couldn't believe I dragged him into it and never lets me forget it.
I try to pretend that Peter's and Finnick's animosity doesn't bother me but it does. Especially when I know I still love Peter. There were times when Peter's gaze would soften and I could see a slight flicker of love in his eyes. But that was years ago, now I'm positive he doesn't love me anymore.
As for the witch and her big plan...there's been nothing. Notus sent a raven about a year ago saying they successfully overthrew Gwyn, killing her in the process. And I firmly believe the witch is gone but Finnick has his doubts. These days I spend most of my time held up in the library, reading through Narnia's history. There's not much else I enjoy doing and going outside to ride or fence runs the risk of being taunted by Peter or Finnick. To be honest, I spiraled into depression, considering suicide on more than one occasion. Ironically, the only thing keeping me going is my oath and the Order. I took my decision to not be like Granddad seriously, especially now that Peter wants nothing to do with me. Narnia's safety is my responsibility and I will not abandon her.
"There you are," Finnick grumbles, joining me in the library.
"What, Finnick?" I groan, highly annoyed that he's invading my alone time.
"Have you seen the Kings and Queens?" he disregards my irritation.
"No, they should be at lunch," I wave my hand, nose still in my book.
But Finnick rips it from hands, slamming it down on the table.
"Who do yo—"
"Well they're not there now!"
"Then they're with Mr. Tumnus!" I yell but then stop when I see said faun casually strolling into the library.
"Sorry. Have I interrupted something?" he pauses, seeing us stare at him.
"Have you seen the Pevensies?" I ask, in a much more friendly tone than if I were addressing Finnick.
"Why yes! Well they...what are you doing here? They told me you were hunting for the white stag with them," he suddenly frowns and I drop a series of curses that makes the faun blush.
"I'm going to kill him!" I bark, slamming the stable doors open, "Don't you say a word!" I point at Finnick seeing him open his mouth to make a smart-arsed comment.
"I told him to inform me when he's going out hunting. But does he listen? NO!" I heave myself onto my horse, "'What could happen, Evi?' he tells me, 'I can handle a sword just as well as you.' Just wait. We'll find them all dead by the time we catch up to them!"
"Do you mind doing a little less rambling and a little more riding!" Finnick barks from ahead of me.
I scowl, digging my heel into my horse to send it forward.
Finnick and I reach the Lantern Waste just as the sun begins setting. My mood is still not eased when we dismount, scouring the land for our "missing" majesties. I don't know how many times I've told them, specifically Peter, that I have to accompany them when they travel.
"Evelyn!" Finnick calls from ahead. I wouldn't have hurried so much if I didn't hear the worry in his voice. When I break through the brush my heart drops. All four of their horses are just idly standing by, completely rider-less.
"Phillip, where did they go?" I ask Edmund's horse, the only talking steed of the herd.
"They went off that way some three hours ago," he points with his hoof.
Unsheathing my knives, I head forward, prepared to meet anything hiding in the bushes. A strange feeling kees pulling me farther and farther into the tangled mass of branches.
"Evi, what are you doing?" Finnick tries following me but is impeded.
"I'm fine. I can—"
"EVI!" Finnick yells as I trip forward. Finnick gets a hold of the necklace around my neck but it snaps off and I tumble to the ground.
When I push myself up, though, I freeze.
Laughter, distant laughter. And voices, so many voices. I'm at the bottom of a small hill and at the top of this hill, a large house sits.
My house.
I'm back in New York.
I jump to my feet, nearly falling back over as I realize I'm in heels. Frantically looking down at myself, I see that I'm in my short, black dress, the very same one that I fell into Narnia wearing.
I'm seventeen again.
"No, no, no," I shake my head, the tears swimming in my eyes. I move to take a step forward, when something crinkles under my foot. I bend down and pick up the paper, finding the family tree with my infant-self sitting under Simon and Annaliese.
"No," I cry, the horror that I somehow returned home fully setting in. None of this makes sense. I didn't break my oath, what the hell am I doing here?
Peter.
I'll never see him again.
He never knew that I loved him.
My eyes drop back down to the paper in my hands and anger suddenly swells in my chest. There's only one person I need to see right now and as I dash back up to my house—all the people still there for Granddad's funeral—I feel no sort of regret for what I'm about to do.
Nanna.
Ignoring my mother's...my fake mother's calls of protest as I aggressively force my way through the people in my kitchen, I storm up the stairs and quickly change into a pair of jeans and tank top. With fierce determination, I snag the keys from the counter and angrily speed to Nanna's the tears never stopping.
Without so much as a knock, I burst through the door, no doubt, frightening the grieving woman.
"Evi? What are you doing here?" she wonders.
"Why? Why didn't you tell me?" I accuse, ignoring Gatsby's wagging tail at my side.
"What are you talking about, dear?" she shakes her head.
"THIS!" I slam the page on the kitchen table, pointing to Granddad's name.
Nanna's eyes spot the page and her face pales. I had been hoping that maybe I was wrong, maybe she really didn't know. But the way she looked at the page and the way she's looking at me now tells me that she knew all along.
"Evelyn, dear, sit down. There are things you need to understand," she tries placating my fuming attitude.
"NO! I don't want to understand! Granddad was dying and you made me believe he was a raving old lunatic! You said all those things about Narnia weren't true! This WHOLE time you've been lying to me! MY WHOLE LIFE! If I had known, I could've been with Peter! I could've had a life with him! Instead of following Granddad's footsteps in the Order! NOW WHAT? I HAVE NOTHING HERE! NOTHING!"
"Evi, please. You still have me," she pleads with me.
"You? I don't even know you!" I hysterically cry, a sardonic, bitter smile on my lips, "Don't EVER come near me again. I don't want to see you! I don't want to talk to you! Just leave me alone," I shout, turning on my heel.
Nanna just lost Granddad and now me...but I hardly even care.
I lost everything. Peter's love, all my family, my friends, my entire life. For God's sake look at me! I'm a seventeen year old child again. I was a grown woman in Narnia, a woman with power and responsibility. How the hell am I supposed to come back to all this?
For a few hours after my altercation with Nanna, I parked my car in a vacant lot, letting all my emotions pour out of me in tears. I really don't know how I'm going to do this. I have absolutely nothing to live for. The only possible thing—and this is just the tiniest thing—I can think of, is the hope that I'll see Peter again and that I can make things right with him. But what are the odds of that?
Just as the sun begins to set, I wearily drive back to my house. As I pull into my driveway, though, I frown when I see someone sitting on my porch step. Unsurely, I step out of my blue Durango as the man looks up. And I let out a strangle cry once I realised who it is. Nothing held back I run into Finnick's arms. I have never been more happy to see him in my life. He holds me, burying his face in my hair. I don't know how he got here but he is. I don't know why but it gives me purpose. Like there is a way for me to get back.
Get back to Narnia.
Get back to Peter...
Peter, where ever you are...wait for me...I'll find my way back to you.
I promise.
There you have it! Like a said, a bit rushed but you got what you needed to out of it in order to setup the sequel and eventually the third part. Hopefully I'll be able to start posting the sequel around the winter holidays so keep a sharp eye out!
In the meantime I'll post a section of one-shots to give you guys some more fluff during the Golden Age. So far I haven't written anything but I've got a few ideas mulling around up in the old noggin.
Thank you ALL for reading/subscribing/reviewing! Please, please, please let me hear your thoughts about what you like/didn't like or whatever!
THANK YOU ALL AGAIN!