I smiled and kissed his chest,
"I love you Edward Anthony Cullen"
"Sleep, I'll be here when you wake"
I closed my eyes and settled into his body and warmth
everything will be fine
-x-
I woke up still shrouded in Edward's arms.
The sheets around my body that once were loose and chilled hours before were now taut and clammy against my skin. It had only been 4 days since I first felt the bulge and I couldn't account for the number of emotions I had varied through. I was surprised Edward had stuck by me so long so far.
I pulled slightly away from Edward and rolled onto my back, stirring him from the paralysed state of rest he always assumed when I asked him to lay with me.
"Bella?" he whispered to me
However my eyes were fixed on my body, the growing bump was now bulbous.
"Jesus" I heard him say and my eyes flew to his, which were fixed to my stomach, "when did that happen" I knew it wasn't a question.
Both of us lay in awe of this strange process. I had to break the silence, I was increasingly uncomfortable in this position.
I began to rise to a seating position and felt the heavy weight now baring on my hips. My face contorted in discomfort and I immedietely felt the bed shift. Edward stood now beside me, ready to lift me.
"No! I want to walk" I felt like a baby enough already! I wasn't a baby. I had a freaky half and half baby inside me but that was besides the point.
I stood on my feet but swayed and almost tumbled back down. Edward's arm swiftly pulled my body against his and he began walking with me, without having to ask. He knew I needed a bath and that was the direction he lead me in.
"I'm sorry I'm ruining everything" I sighed against his skin
"You haven't ruined a thing baby" he said comfortingly
I tripped slightly over the door frame and cursed loudly,
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?" I pulled myself away from Edward harshly
"Whoa whoa whoa Bella!" he reached out and pulled my body to his once again, "calm down!" I huffed away and slumped against the wall near him.
We were now in the bathroom. Stone faced, he reached forward to the pool sized bath tub and began to fill it with water and bubbles.
He stripped down out of his pants and walked to me to do the same. Not looking into my eyes or glancing at my body. I knew I had upset him. My heart ached at his sadness and I couldn't bring myself to apologise. I slumped slowly against the wall again, looking down at my huge stomach. I turned in disgust and caught my reflection in the mirror.
My skin was tainted with dried blood and I felt revolting, even to myself. The harsh scars on my face seemed to be glowing and recoloured with the blood I had perspired. I was hideous. My eyes travelled down to the rest of my body, I was fat. Huge and ugly. And I was spoiling everything.
What is wrong with me?
I heard Edward sigh and press against the baths edge to pull himself up. I left my head hanging and heard his careful footsteps tread on the tiled floor. His hands softly encased my cheeks, lifting my face to see his.
"I'm not sure if I like pregnancy business my love, it does terrible things to your self confidence" he bent forward and kissed my forehead before lifting me in his arms and slowly sinking me into the bath tub, his body following. I felt him move to turn off the waters flow but he quickly returned to me, pulling my body from behind in between his legs in one of the corners of the bath.
I rested against his skin and felt him wrap his arms around my waist, I was about to smile and apologise when I turned my head and caught my reflection once again in the mirror, I ducked my head down and felt the tears rise to my eyes. A drop of blood fell from my eyes and landed in the water with a small splash. Suddenly I felt Edward's hand put my cheek around to face him.
"What's wrong now?" He looked so concerned and confused
"I don't want the baby to have these scars" I brought my hand to my face, "it won't will it, I couldn't bare it if it did Edward" I whispered to him, begging for the answer I wanted. He looked completely baffled.
"Baby" he shook his head slowly, "Of course it won't darling. Although, there is nothing wrong with it, you may not like it baby and of course, I wish I could have prevented it. But it makes you, you! And I love everything about you!" he seemed so tired, but pulled my head into his neck, I snuggled against his skin and sighed, "but your mood swings are kind of giving me whiplash" he teased.
He bent his head down to my neck and nipped at my skin slightly. The thrill ran straight through my body and I gripped onto him tighter. I groaned and wrapped my arms around his body tighter.
"See what I mean" he teased, pulling me to straddle his lap.
I moved to pull my body close against his but the huge bump between us prevented it. I sat back and huffed.
He laughed and ran his hands through my hair softly, "I really hope this isn't for nine months" he joked, feeling behind me to grab a sponge.
He plunged it into the bath water and pulled it out pressing it against my neck softly and running it across my shoulder. I sighed.
Feels so good
He smiled at me
That's more like the Bella I know
I smirked as he continued to wash my body. When he reached my stomach he moved painfully slowly and ran his hand over my skin following the sponge.
"You're so beautiful with my child inside you" I love you
"Not as much as I love you" I smiled and bent forward to kiss him, he pressed his lips against mine softly, he continued to wash me slowly as I settled happily against his body.
A short while after, I felt Edward kiss my forehead softly,
"We have to get out, the family is coming round"
I sighed, I was so horrible to them
"Bella, you know they won't care, it's the hormones, not you, don't take it out on yourself"
I nodded into his chest as he lifted us both slowly from the tub. He towel dried my body and slipped some underwear on me. He left the room for a moment, I assume to get me something to wear. Wear? I hadn't even thought of that! I don't have maternity clothes? Do they even make them for vampires?
He came back shortly after with a tribal printed long piece of fabric.
"I didn't know what to pick for you to wear, so I got this" he handed it to me.
A maxi dress, elasticated top? I could give it a try.
I nodded and smiled at his efforts, lifting my arms as he slipped it over my head and arranged the fabric over my huge stomach. It was surprisingly comfortable.
I noticed that he had also slipped on some jeans. Hmm, shame.
He pulled me into him and kissed my lips softly, running his hands through my wet hair.
"Stunning" he smiled against my lips and I smiled back.
There was a knock at the door and I saw Edward move to answer it
"I'll go, I um, I need to apologise"
"You don't have t-"
"No Edward, I do" I interrupted, leaning up to kiss him and move through the house. I moved through the bedroom and noticed the pink tinted sheets.
"Baby, can you change the bed sheets for me" I called out to him
I heard him chuckle, "of course"
I smiled at him as I left the bedroom.
Making my way to the door I could already sense the amount of people outside.
I gulped audibly
I opened the door slowly and saw them all.
Carlisle had one hand on Esme's shoulder, who had both hands on Bree's shoulders, all of them smiling. Alice was holding a huge bag of … I didn't want to know, Jasper had one arm around her waist. Rosalie was turned away and Emmett was holding her hand.
I smiled back at my family and welcomed them in.
They all sat around in the living room, leaving me the love seat.
Edward still hadn't returned from the bedroom and I was thankful for that.
I began
"Look, I'm really sorry that I snapped at you all. I mean, I don't know what's happening to me!"
"It's the hormones" Carlisle and Edward said in unison, Edward calling out from the bedroom
"Yeah, so I've heard" I huffed, earning a giggle from the girls
"Bella, we understand, this is just strange news to all of us. But, wait... has your bump got bigger since this morning?"
"Oh" I hands dropped to my stomach, "yeah..."
"Extraordinary" Carlisle fascinated.
"That's what I think every day" Edward confessed, walking to me slowly with a beautiful smile. He sat next to me and pulled me into his lap. I smiled at my protector.
"I brought you clothes!" Alice blurted
Everybody turned to her in shock
"WHAT! It's important!" She looked in shock back at them
I chuckled to myself, "Alice, go put them in the wardrobes" I said. She smiled happily and sped away into the bedroom.
Emmett asked if he could watch the television and Jasper joined him. The house was suddenly filled with happiness and family. And I felt a whole lot better about having my own child.
Edward... we're going to have a baby
He turned me around to face him and looked at me strangely.
I am aware of that he smirked at me
I don't mean like that! I mean, us! We're going to have a family!
He suddenly smiled brightly
I didn't think of it that way, it's weird isn't it
Yeah!
I mean, we're not even married!
I froze
.. What?
Well the times I grew up, you ideally got married before you had children
You want us to get married?
I wouldn't hate it
You want to marry me
Of course I do Bella, but obviously not right now, because I haven't planned a speech or anything
You're being serious? I looked at him incredulously
Don't think about it for now-
It's just a bit of paper! I mean we don't have to! It's not like I'm going to run off with someone else!
I know..well at least I hope I know that. But don't you think it would be nice
I don't know? It's a bit sudden!
But we love eachother He looked slightly hurt
of course!
Then what's the problem The hurt was evident now
There isn't a problem! I don't know!
He looked down at his lap for a moment, I could tell he was thinking but wasn't letting me in
Let me in I pleaded
He looked up at me
It's nothing
I didn't want him to be upset. I had time. I still had to get this body out of my body, that was bound to happen soon. We would have to wait a reasonable amount of time? Wouldn't we?
I looked up to him again, he was silent
Oh fuck it
Edward I held his face softly between my hands, Whenever you want to ask me, I'll have an answer for you I smiled and bent forward to kiss him, his hands weaved into my hair and secured my face to his.
A gagging sound was made behind us and I knew we should move apart.
Edward looked angrily at Emmett who was pretending to be fixed on the game.
I smiled and laid into his body.
My eyes focussed out of the back door, onto Bree and Esme.
They were playing together
I hadn't seen Bree this happy in … well actually ever. I still had the copy of Wuthering Heights she snatched for me. I scolded her at the time but it made me feel somewhat connected to her even when she lived at the other home.
My eyes followed down the back yard as a flash of blonde caught my sight.
Rosalie
Edward followed my eyes line and sighed angrily, leaning back heavily into the love seat
Let me go speak to her
Bella! He warned
"No Edward!" I spoke aloud this time, giving me an excuse to leave the room.
I got up as quickly as I could and trudged out to the back yard. I saw Rosalie dash to move but my eyes pleaded with her. It really did take a lot of energy to walk this far.
She looked angry but stayed where she was anyway. She swung on the makeshift swing that had been broken, I saw a dainty yet strong knot holding one side up. She must have fixed it. I smiled at that thought.
"What are you smiling about! Liar!" Rosalie scolded
I flinched from the venom in her voice and heard a low growl come from inside the house.
"Edward shut up" I threw back at the house, I turned back to her.
"Rosalie, please listen to me"
"Why! Bella, I thought we were friends!"
"We are friends! We're family!" I urged
"Family don't lie to each other!" she reprimanded
"Please Rose hear me out! I didn't know this" I waved around my stomach "could even happen!"
She looked doubtfully at me
"I mean it Rose, I had no idea!"
She sighed loudly and kicked at the ground beneath her feet
"It's not fair!" she sobbed to herself quietly
"Emmett stay here" I heard faintly from inside the house, thank you
No problem He replied hastily.
"I know it isn't" I replied. I looked around, there was nowhere else to sit. I struggled to lower myself to the ground, huffing at the weight in all the wrong places.
I looked up when I'd settled, only to see her looking down at me warily.
"What's it like?" she whispered, her eyes focussing on my round stomach. Her blonde hair fell around her face limply. I had never seen her care so less about her appearance.
"Horrible" I admitted truthfully
Her eyes flew to mine in confusion, "What do you mean?" she asked incredulously, her hands moving to the seat of the swing, leaning herself more towards me
"I have horrible mood swings and I just know Edward doesn't want to deal with me at times, I feel horrible all of the time because I know I'm putting other people in pain because of something I had no control or even knowledge over! And this is just speeding things along and making everything change and I know I'm ready for it! I mean of course I am, but it's just the pressure! I mean, this baby is half and half? What if something goes wrong and everyone's hopes are built up and then trashed because of me!" I was spilling a few too many thoughts out to someone who would rather have me kicked out of her family.
I looked up at her to see her torn between emotions.
"for the pain thing … are you talking about me?" she asked, looking curiously down at me
"Yes" I admitted softly, "I tried to hard to get you to like me and to fit in here and I'm just ruining it all!"
She didn't answer and I felt slightly off because of it.
"I just want a baby" she sighed looking at my stomach again
I saw the hurt and compassion in her eyes and my heart stretched out to her. She wanted a baby. And I was the only one that could have them.
Wait
I could have them
Don't even think just say it!
"I've had a crazy idea" She looked at me expectedly, raising one eyebrow, the sadness still evident in her features.
"You want a baby?"
"yeah?" she asked rather annoyed
"And I can have them?"
"Bella, this isn't helping!" she growled at me
"No wait!" she settled, I could still see her jaw taut. "Why don't I have a baby for you!"
"WHAT?" she shouted at me, followed by the whole family all yelling, "WHAT?"
I was suddenly circled by all of them
Ah!
"Well I was just saying, that, if she wants a baby so so bad, and if this one comes out fine and is normal and everything, well, I'd be willing to have one for you" I directed the last bit at her. Her eyes flew wide and her jaw dropped.
"Bella, I'm not being rude but I don't want you to have sex with Emmett, that's not cool!" Edward quickly confessed
"What why not?" Emmett directed back, slightly offended
"EDWARD!" "EMMETT!" Rose and I both shouted back angrily at our lovers.
"There must be another way?" Alice asked in anyone's direction.
"Yeah, like insemination, like they do normally" Jasper directed his question at Carlisle
I wondered why Jasper and Alice were so intrigued, but then it snapped, I could do it for them as well.
"Well yes, I suppose it could work. Seeing as she seems to be able to actually have a child inside her. I'm not so sure about whether or not you could have both parties inseminating, I mean obviously as Edward has proved it is possible for the male gender, but I don't think we would be able to do the same for you Rosalie"
I looked to her, she had slumped slightly on the swing.
I focussed on her
"Rosalie, that doesn't mean you still can't have a child. I mean I could be inseminated or whatever with Emmett's junk and have it, then it would be yours! I wouldn't ever ask for it back. You could have your own baby, and it would still be yours and Emmett's" I tried to convince.
I looked over to Carlisle pleadingly
"I don't see why that wouldn't work out" he assured
I turned around to look at everybody, "I mean, I could do the same for you and Jasper too, Alice, and you and Carlisle, Esme. You could have your own babies. It would be the least I could do! And I'd finally feel like I wasn't always just invading your hospitality" I smiled, this would work out perfectly!
I turned to Rosalie closer, "What do you say? I'll have a baby for you?"
She looked at me wide eyed,
"You'd do that for me?"
"Of course I would, you're like my sister, although you hate me"
There was a moments silence and I could see the emotion pouring into her face, "Thank you" she whispered, shifting off of the swing and wrapping her arms around my body and burying her head in my neck, she whispered thank you against my skin and held me tightly for a moment before standing up and throwing herself into Emmett's arms, who lifted her gracefully and kissed her passionately. They held each other happily and smiled at each other like I had never seen before.
I was happy that I had done that
I looked up at the others, they were all looking at me in awe. I smiled and moved to stand up. But two strong arms lifted me.
Edward
He kissed me softly and suddenly we were the only ones in the back yard.
"That was an amazing thing you just did" he said softly into my skin.
"It's the least I could do" I admitted and kissed his perfect lips softly
"Well, let me be the first to admit, I am not going to enjoy your mood swings 4 times over" he teased, tickling my sides
I laughed into his neck as he walked me back into the house.
I smiled as I entered the living room.
Emmett and Rosalie were sprawled all over each other smiling happily. Jasper held Alice as she danced around. Carlisle stroked Esme and Bree's hair as they sat together.
I looked in the huge mirror that was above the fire place.
For the first time I didn't see my scars
I saw myself and Edward, smiling and happy to be together.
Everything will be perfect.