This chapter...

(sighs) (face palm) (groans) (head desk) (drinks a Rum Punch in an attempt to soothe the headache)

Let's get on with it, shall we?

Please don't forget to leave a review! :D Thanks! `

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of it's characters. They are property of JKR. If I did, however, Snape would not have died.

"...I will get up now and go about the city,

Through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves.

So I looked for him... But did not find him."

- Song of Solomon 3:2, New International Version

The effects of a hangover hit him at full force long before he had awoken from his drunken slumber. His head was already furious with him, endlessly banging in his mind like a stick upon a drum. His mouth was dry, his lips cracked from thirst. Groaning, he attempted to crack open his eyes. If he was thankful for anything in his life, it was that there were no windows in his private quarters so he couldn't be blinded by the morning light. Stretching out his hands, he realized two things. First, he was still in his dress robes. He hadn't changed out of them? Then, he noticed how unusually lethargic his body had felt. He lacked the proper coordination he usually possessed. It had been quite a long time since he had this bad of a hangover.

Checking his internal clock, he deduced that it was nearly his breast pocket for his watch, he flipped open the cover and peered closely to the ticking hands. And, as always, his assumption was correct: it was 7:49 on Christmas morning.

Christmas morning… It was Christmas morning and he had the world's worst hangover.

The potions master blinked a few times before he realized that he was sitting up in his armchair. He must have fallen asleep and didn't even bother to make it to his bedroom. The fireplace, now cold and lifeless, had sprung to life at Severus' awakening and warmth began to seep and settle into the room. Something round and glistening on the floor to his left caught his eye. When his eyes focused, he saw his prized bottle of Ogden's Firewhiskey lying on the black rug. Merlin's balls… Did he really drink the entire bottle?

Summoning the bottle, it felt light in his hand as there wasn't a single drop left inside of the stout bottle.

Years of saving up the damn bottle and I down it all in one sitting... Shit.

With a grunt of frustration, he tossed the bottle carelessly to the rug, not caring whether or not it would shatter upon impact. Pressing his fingers directly onto his temples, he massaged slowly to try to ease the pain. He could hardly remember anything about the night before. What had happened? What did he do during his drunken stupor? Hopefully nothing too foolish. Despite the throbbing skull, he concentrated long and hard to remember last night.

Recollections of the previous night flooded back into his throbbing mind, causing a new and unnecessarily pressure on his temples. Dancing in the cold snow, music echoing off the walls, soft curly hair in his face, the scent of gardenia petals filling his mind... Soft, warm lips pressing against his, drowning out every coherent thought and awakening urges from their deep slumber…

And then you snuck away and slithered back into your hole like the coward you are. Isn't that right, Severus?

He couldn't argue with his conscience. What was said was true. He did run off after oh-so brilliantly deceiving the poor woman who was so willing to give him her heart. Fearfully scurrying away into the darkness of his mind and then proceeded to indulge those fears by nearly drowning himself in alcohol. An attempt to soothe the endless ache inside was dulled briefly by the Firewhiskey but it was back in full force. Panic, fear, and doubt that anything good could truly birth from his affections towards Hermione Granger hit him.

Hermione...

God. Even her name unspoken did numerous things to him. It mixed him up inside with too many confusing emotions and sentiments towards the young witch. His heart yearned for more of her; her smile, her laugh, her feather-like touch... And yet he was terrified.

Get up, you pathetic arse, he told himself.

Gathering what strength he could muster, his hands gripped his armchair. Taking in a breath, he pushed himself upward onto his feet. His knees knocked together, dizziness gripping his head. Groaning at the increasing pain in his temples, he willed his body to obey his mind. Taking baby steps around the armchair, he maneuvered around the couch and made strides towards his bedroom. His eyes would lose focus and his legs became unsupported, wobbling like some sort of jelly. Catching himself against a wall, he would lean against it until he could regain control over his limbs.

Come on, you...

Reaching the bathroom at long last, his body became weak from the very short journey from his armchair to sink. Gripping the edges of the sink to balance himself, he felt a sense of victory. Bracing himself for impact, his eyes met the mirror before him and his reflection nearly startled him. He looked quite frightening, actually.

Dark circles dusted on the bags under his wide, bloodshot eyes, giving him the appearance of a crazed madman. The alcohol had done a number on him, that much he knew. Running a hand through his hair, he cringed at the moistness on his scalp and the way the strands stuck to his fingers.

How is my hair so greasy? He questioned as he stared at his reflection. I bathe and wash my hair accordingly and nearly every day.

Releasing his hair, he observed his reflection once more. His lips were cracked and dry from thirst, but now that he had peered closer to the mirror, they were also... Pink? He peered closer to the mirror. Lipstick? How...?

The kiss.

It was amazing. He knew the kiss had happened. He remembered the kiss happening. But now, seeing the lasting marks of her lips still upon his person sent shivers up his spine. It was real. The moment that they had shared together was blissfully real. The woman he had come to admire and desire had initiated a kiss that he was more than happy to reciprocate. It awoke sensations inside of him that he had long forgotten or that he never thought that he was able to feel again. Her action of stepping forward and initiating the contact made her intentions quite clear:

Hermione Granger held affections for him. Strong, unyielding, uncompromising affections.

Blood raced through his heart at this reminder and it went straight to his head.

"Son of a bitch..." he muttered. "Damn hangover..."

Well, you're a Potions master, are you not? Drink a Pepper-Up potion.

Extending his arm, he willed magic from his thoughts to the palm of his hand. Within seconds, a tiny bottle zoomed into the bathroom and remained afloat in midair beside his head. Turning and accepting the bottle, he unscrewed the lid and downed the liquid in one fluid gulp. Within seconds of the strange liquid touching his lips, the pressure in his head and the nausea had eased and vanished, leaving a sense of exhaustion in his muscles. Although the previous discomfort from the hangover was taken care of, the Potions master felt the urge to return to the realm of slumber.

To rid himself of the desire to go back to sleep, he began to strip himself of his dress robes. As he did so, he couldn't help but glance at himself in the mirror and feel disgust at what he saw. Red scars and dark magic marks clashed with his pale, pasty skin. Each mark upon his skin had a story of pain, misery, and lies.

Unworthy... Hated... Traitor... Hideous...

...Unloved.

They were all constant reminders of man that he was and the life that he lived. Each morning when he would strip himself of his clothing and he would look into the mirror, he would recall the decisions he had made that earned him each and every scar that burned itself into his flesh. Even upon his left arm, though it was slightly faded, the Dark Mark remained. A never-ending reminder of his short-comings and the people he had failed...

A heavy sigh escaped his lips as he turned away from the mirror and started the water for his shower. He stepped inside, not caring how hot or cold the water was. The refreshing, hot water rained upon him, awakening him.

As he washed his body, he hands ran over the scars that remained upon him, illogically wishing that he could purge himself from his sins as easily as he had cleansing himself physically. He had committed too many great sins to be forgiven. He was a tainted, stained man whose actions were born out of selfish cowardice to ensure his safety, never mind the life of the person standing beside him. He did what he did in his life to make sure that he was always going to come out of it alive. He was not a fool. Deep in his gut, he knew he was a man who did not deserve life. Death could him and not a soul would care...

And surely, Death will come for him soon. If Castor's words were true, the bond had only been quiet but it has not lessened. All of Severus' research and work the past few months had not been enough to release the bond as he had originally intended. It was a slow and subtle change that he did not see coming. In time, his manipulations on Hermione to try to find a weakness in the bond had become something less self-seeking and more gracious. His time spent with Hermione became more of building a life and a forming a deep connection with her.

And now... He was falling for her.

There was no point in denying it now. Not when he knew that the witch had captured every thought and ever motive of his heart. It was unintentional that his affections for Hermione would become more powerful. Perhaps it wouldn't have been such a horrible thing if she hadn't started to express more intimate feelings with him as well.

They were frightening but not nearly as frightening as they were as exhilarating. She was young - nearly half his age - but her youth was only a small, unnecessary factor despite moments of immaturity of insecurity. The witch was brilliant - wise beyond her years. By-the-book knowledge flowed through her lips as if it were a melody being sung, a praise being lifted up from the depths of her soul. There was never a dull or uncomfortable moment whilst in her presence even if they were sitting in silence. Just having there beside him, whether they were working, speaking, or reading, made him feel a sense of worth. A woman such as she - brilliant, brave, beautiful - would willingly spend her free time with someone like him? It was unheard of. Unheard of, but not impossible.

Months of trying to scrap any sort of knowledge on the bond between them was becoming less and less important with each and every day he spent in her presence. His personal feelings towards her were forming his priorities - her comfort, her happiness - instead of other matters at hand. Little compromises and adjustments were made to ensure her infectious and outshining smile. Allowing himself to indulge in physical affection or kind words were becoming less frustrating and he could definitely tell that she was relishing the change. Did she indulge in them and enjoy them as much as he did? Surely she did. After all, she was the one who had initiated the kiss the night before and had made her feelings towards him quite apparent.

What was true was this; if he could not find a way for the bond to dissolve on it's own, the effects would most surely return to both of them in full.

Leaning against the tile wall, he closed his eyes.

Looking at the situation now, he saw all the flaws.

He had let his feelings and assumptions become more important than her own life. Granted, it wasn't so horrible that he held these emotions for her, but what could he give her other than pain and grief? He was twice her age, old enough to be her father. He had watched her grown up from a young, annoying girl to a kind, wise and beautiful young woman. She did not have the same demons and burdens that he had to carry and deal with each and every day of his existence. If she were to stay with him, he would only give her misery. He would greet Death way before her and leave her with nothing but emptiness and loneliness. Even if he were to survive the bond or living to be a hundred and twenty, his reputation as a traitor and a Death Eater would overtake all the good in his life, even if he were to have someone like Hermione at his side.

He would hurt her. He would damage her. He would taint her. He had known this, but knowing it in one's mind and seeing it in retrospect were two different things.

He ran a soapy hand through his hair.

How did he allow this whole mess to happen? If he had taken her to St. Mungo's and had a ritual performed on them from the moment he discovered the bond's existence, it would've been all over with by now. Hermione would have been able to move on with her life and he would've been able to go along with his. He had let his fears and his emotions cloud his judgment on every single situation up until now.

What if his life was not enough to satisfy the bond? What if his sins against Hermione outweighed the cost of his life? What if the bond turned on her as well and began to affect MORE than just her magic? What if it would take her life, too? All because of his inability to put his head before his heart and act.

He could end up killing her because of his foolish mistakes.

The thought filled the wizard with despair and with a cry of rage, he slammed a fist against the wall. The tiles under his fist cracked and shattered. Heaving a heavy breath, he released the wall and tiny, broken fragments littered the bottom of the shower floor. He flexed his hand and saw blood on his knuckles. Cursing under his breath, he stood under the shower head and let the water pour down on him. Lost in his own thoughts, the wizard couldn't even tell if the water was still hot or if it had become cold.

"Why is it that whenever I find something magnificent in my life I must snuff it out?" he questioned aloud to no one or perhaps even God. He did not know. "Why must I hurt the people I love to protect them?"

After he managed to pick himself up out of the shower, the Potions master dressed in his usual black robes. He had little time to waste. He had many things to do and such little time to do them in. He would first have to contact Castor and then he would see what libraries he had missed. He would need to continue his research without any more distractions.

Leaving without any breakfast, he left his quarters and hurried up the spiraling steps to his office. Sealing the wall off entirely, he moved around his desk in his office and took quick strides towards his classroom. Closing the door to his office, he turned expecting an empty classroom. Instead, what he saw startled him.

Hermione Granger sat on one of the desks, facing the office. His presence caught her attention as she shot up to her feet, nearly knocking the desk over.

"S-Severus!" she greeted, her cheeks turning bright pink. Although she wore no dress, no make up, and no fancy shoes, she looked just as exquisite l as ever, even if her hair had returned to it's normal unruly state.

"Hermione-,"

"Before you say anything," Hermione cut him off, her voice rising slightly almost in panic. She bit her lip - a gesture he always found endearing - and pulled on the sleeve of her robe. Even as she stood before him, her posture was significantly less confident than what it was the night before. For the first time in years, since she was a student of his, she looked quite nervous. "I'd like to say something first. If that's alright with you?"

Severus bit the inside of his cheek. The last thing he wanted from her was the opportunity for her to change his mind. However, he gave into her request. "As you wish."

"R-Right!" Hermione curls bounced with each and every movement of her head. "What I wanted to say was this..." Inhale. Even though his eyes never left her worry-etched face, out of the corner of his eye he noticed that her knuckles gripped each other until they turned white. "Severus, I know you're scared of this thing - of us. I understand, I really do. I'm scared, too. Taking the next step in a relationship is always terrifying because there are always going to be risks. The risk of trusting someone and opening up could result in good things. I also understand that it means that there's a possibility that you could end up getting hurt. I believe that's part of the reason why you left last night... Fear."

With these words spoken, the normal Severus Snape would become angry at her statement. This information exposed a piece of his true self and he would defend himself against her words. He would claim that it wasn't true, cover it up by any means necessary to protect himself.

However, he didn't. He told her that she could speak her mind and she was far from finished. Clasping his hands behind his back, he waited for her to continue.

The witch then laughed. It wasn't a laugh of humor, judging by the way it seemed to shake and tremble in her throat. "You know, I usually take Dreamless Sleep to help me fall asleep and to keep me asleep so that I don't have to endure any nightmares... But last night the most ridiculous thoughts kept me awake. 'Will he find me attractive?' or 'Will he be able to trust me?' and 'Can I fulfill his every need?' Questions like those have been circling in my mind endlessly since last night. And since I couldn't find you, I couldn't ask you those questions to your face."

Although the words were expressed kindly, Severus felt the sadness behind them.

How long did you wait for me? His hand twitched, longing to reach for her.

"But I've also had a lot of time to think about us as well." Hermione went on. Her voice was shaking with emotion and she fought to swallow the lump in her throat. "There are always going to be those risks with any relationship you may have - not just romantic ones. Being honest and transparent is very risky and kind of dangerous since there's always a chance of getting hurt. But... I'm not going to let those possible risks hold me back. I wish to take all that and put it behind me. I'm going to be brave about this, never mind my own demons. This is something that I know that we both want. I can't live in the fear of the 'what if's' anymore. Regardless of the future and what it may hold, I would rather be someone who would take on those risks than hide from them. I cannot change the past but I can look towards the future and make the best goals I can to be successful at everything I choose to put my hands to. I have used the wisdom of my peers and friends to deduce who I want to take those risks with."

The reluctance in her posture and in her eyes long gone, something new and bold came forward. The air between them was suddenly gone as Hermione stepped towards him. While his heart urged him forward and his mind commanded him step back, his body became instantly immobile. She must have sensed his uneasiness, for she stopped walking and stood rigidly a few feet away, neither in nor out of his personal space, neither in nor out of his life.

"Severus Snape, you're the person I want to take those risks with." Her breath escaped her like she had just emerged from a pool of water, breathless and intentional.

Words may be just spoken thoughts but they hit Severus like a powerful hex. He could not move his body even if he willed it to. It remained still, taunt with tension, stiff as metal.

"I know that we both have our own demons that we need to face and that we can't fix each other, but we challenge each other to do better. Isn't that what chemistry is? I mean we... We just fit, Severus! Can't you feel it? The way that we are with each other whenever we're together is almost magnetic!"

I feel it every time I am near you. It is impossible to ignore.

Hermione's voice became louder and more passionate. "I don't want to be separated from you, Severus. I know that you're frightened and so am I, but I don't want that to be the reason why we don't try. Because then we would just avoid each other and the fire we have... It will surely burn out." She took a step forward and Severus fought the impulse to move away from her. Reaching up, her fingers brushed along his cheek. "Please, don't push me away, not when we're this close to discovering more about each other. Not when we're this close..."

A fierce declaration from such a small woman...

Think of the Boggart... Think of Lily... Think of the Life-Debt bond... Focus on all of the very logical reasons as to why this is not a good idea. Focus all you have onto those solid, immovable facts. Even if you dissolve the bond without her knowledge, you cannot make her happy. You cannot give her a family. Your idea of romance is shit. Although your affections are very strong for Hermione, you know in the depths of your soul that your heart still belongs to Lily Evans and it forever will be. Nothing can change those facts no matter how hard you might wish to...

The loss would be utterly devestating to him. He had come so far for her. If he pulled away now, everything they had built together would come to a close. It would end.

I don't want this to end, he admitted at last to himself. Knowing full well that he was relenting to her, he physically demonstrated it by leaning into her hand, rubbing his cheek against the palm of her hand. A sweet release filled his senses.

Now's the time to choose. You have to choose right here, right now, what is more important. You cannot have both. You cannot hope to keep the bond a secret and find a way to destroy it while hoping to start a romance with this woman. Both your life and her magic are in jepordy. Now is NOT the time for such foolish and emotional distractions.

His heart grew heavy as he pulled his hand away from her touch.

"Hermione..." He started but could no longer speak. His throat began constricting painfully with emotion. How could he end something that had not even started? Heart racing, he handed her a clean-folded note. "I meant to send you this the night before. Forgive the delay."

The witch blinked in surprise at the note in his hand. "Oh! Okay..." As she gently tugged the note from his hand, Severus felt as if she were going to read a suicide note. Trying his best to feign calm, he folded his hands professionally behind his back as the Charms professor unfolded the creased note.

"'Professor Granger'," she read aloud, a hint of confusion in her tone. "'Professor Granger'?" Hermione stopped reading and glanced up at him with a bewildered smile. "I thought we were closer than that, Severus."

Severus didn't trust himself to speak. He remained still and masked his emotions carefully as Hermione's eyes dropped to the letter and resumed reading.

"'It has been brought to my attention that our professional relationship has been compromised...'" A wrinkle appeared between Hermione's eyebrows. "'Last night's actions at the ball last night have proved my concerns. We have moved beyond the realms of colleague to something far more distracting and potentially unprofessional. I do not believe that this will help our cause to focus on the Cure...'" The witch ceased reading and her eyes flashed up at him.

"What is this?" she demanded, her tone coming out like a hiss.

I can't answer that... "Finish it."

"I don't think I will!" The witch argued hotly, gripping the note.

"Finish it!" Severus commanded, startling the young woman. "I insist."

The smile from Hermione's face was long gone and replaced with many mixed emotions. Wide-eyed, she glanced down at the note in her trembling hands. "'I request to work on the Cure project alone from this day forward... I will continue to work on the Cure until it is ready to be used to undo what has been done to the Cruciatus victims. All lessons both now and in the future are now cancelled. I believe...'" Hermione made a noise of shock as she read his words aloud.

"'I believe it will be best to maintain distance to sever any emotional attachment... It's been a pleasure working beside you... Enjoy your holiday... Professor Severus Snape'..."

"What the bloody hell is THIS?"

The wizard looked over the enraged witch, his countenance betraying nothing. She tried to ignore the fact that she was attracted to him, as it made it harder for her to be angry with him. "It is what is best." he answered her in his deadpan tone.

Hermione wasn't holding back this time. Absolutely everything she was feeling was boiling over and she had absolutely no intention of being courteous to the man who had stabbed her so viciously in the heart. "You have no right..." Her voice trembled. "You had absolutely no right to decide this!"

"Calm yourself this instant." Severus demanded, his eyes darting to the door. "Others might hear you-"

"No, I will not be calm!" Hermione protested angrily. She thrust the thin parchment in front of his nose, startling him slightly. "You're cutting me out of the Cure project to be rid of me? All because of a kiss? This is low, even for you, Severus Snape!"

The Potions master, however stoic in appearance, shifted his feet only a little, giving away his discomfort. "I had consumed alcohol last night at the ball." he explained dully. "What I did towards you was inappropriate, but unintentional."

Fury like never before dug at Hermione's insides, her blood growing hot "What?" She hissed through clenched teeth. "You're lying to me."

"It is no lie." Severus replied, his baritone even. He tilted his head only a little at her. "The influence of the beverages influenced my decisions. I ask for your forgiveness and beg that you put last night's events out of your mind."

"You want me to forget?" she repeated, her voice incredulous at the very suggestion. "How could I possibly forget such an evening?"

Severus placed his hands on his desk and leaned towards her. "Think of it as a dream. You felt what you felt, but it was nothing more than an illusion. A play of the mind, if you will." After what felt like months, she was beginning to feel intimidated by the way he towered over her. He tilted his head at her again, his eyes black and emotionless. "But it is still nothing at all. What you believe you feel for me is a lie and I apologize if I have led you to believe that I feel the same."

He might as well have slapped her in the face.

"You... You promised me." Her voice was becoming constricted again and her breath came short. "On the balcony... You said-"

"I agreed that I would never leave you." Severus cut her off sharply, his tone causing her to flinch. "I will not leave you when you require something of me. I did not promise you anything else."

The memory of his arms around her and his lips upon his was too great to ignore. He had to be lying. He had to be! Why else would he kiss her back? Why else would he show tenderness to her? Why else would he be extremely attentive to her throughout the many months they had been in each other's company?

"Severus, what-?" Her breath escaped her, making it hard for her to speak. "But... Until now... You've been so kind to me... You've touched me... You have..." She cleared her throat but it still remained constricted and dry. "You have been romantically expressive towards me."

Something cold flittered across Severus' black eyes.

"Fine. You wish for the truth. Here it is: I do not care for you in that sense. I made you believe what you wanted to believe." His words made her stomach churn. His expressions were as still and as emotionless as that of a Greek statue. "I deceived you, played with you. I tricked you into making you feel emotions that I wanted you to feel. I did those things so that you could be cooperative in our Cure experiments."

This answer caught Hermione completely off guard. The Cure? That's what this is about?

"What?" she asked when she found her voice.

The wizard stood firm and silent, his shoulders and hands unmoving. He craned his head only a little in her direction, but he did not move nor did he face her directly.

"I took great interest in your suggestion to create a potion to Cure Longbottom's parents." He began slowly. "An immediate epiphany struck me that your little idea would be the key to my success. I had to make sure that you were going to be intentional and how else was I going to accomplish that if you were so distracted? I pushed you to focus on the Cure but in order to do so, I had to create a gentle and welcoming atmosphere for you to work."

"S-Success?" Hermione repeated, a feeling akin to dread settling upon her. "What are you talking about? Success? You're not making any sense."

Please... Don't let this be what I think this is...

"Did I or did I not express to you at some point that if I were to leave this school, that I would wish to open my own apothecary? Do you not remember the conversation we had?" The wizard spun on his heel quickly facing her. Like an eagle swooping down to capture his prey, his intense eyes fastened upon hers unmovingly. "But how could I achieve such a goal while the rest of the Wizarding community wished me dead? How could I make this possible if no one was to trust me?"

I can't believe this is happening... I feel sick...

He raised a hand in the air, looking at his palm. "How could anyone trust me with their life when these hands had taken so many others?" he asked to no one in particular. When his eyes met hers again, she was stunned by the lack of emotion within them. He hadn't looked at her like that in a long, long time... It was truly frightening. "And then... When you had expressed your desire to assist Longbottom by creating a potion to cure Cruciatus victims, I realized that this was my chance to clear my name of any suspicions or distrust. So, with great ambition, we began to quickly create the potion." His tone became more even and firm the more he went on. "We had many failures but we are advancing along, making improvements every time. Here we are today creating the Cure that will not only cure the half-wit Longbottom's parents, as you desired, but it will provide me a way to start a new life away from this goddamn castle. My name will be in many papers for our discovery and our success on returning braindead witches and wizards back to the way they used to be."

Throughout his entire speech, Hermione searched his eyes, desperately searching for any sort of indication that he was lying. But throughout his rant, he made no moves of showing that he was being deceptive. His eyes were unwavering, his voice never breaking, his posture was perfect as always.

Hermione's mouth opened and closed a few times before she could will herself to form a coherent sentence. "Wha... What does this have to do with me?" Hermione couldn't help but ask.

"This is my opportunity to begin something incredible for myself. However, with my name in the credit of the Cure potion, it simply wouldn't have been enough. I have created hundreds of potions and crafted dozens upon dozens of elixirs in my years. In the recent years however, people have not trusted me as keenly as St. Mungo's has. It would require a great deal of trust for me to even consider opening up my own business. And so, I had you working along side me, knowing quite well that you had the most admirable reputation among wizarding folk."

Hermione felt many things at that moment but the one she felt for certain made her sick to her stomach. She felt used. Violated.

Severus used to her silence to continue. "With your name along with mine-,"

"Anyone would trust it..." Hermione interrupted, her chest so heavy with emotion. "It wouldn't have mattered if your name hadn't been there, but because my name is on the credits and people trust me..."

"They would accept it." Severus finished for her. "With both our names on the credits, especially the famous Hermione Granger's name," he sneered when he spoke her name. "I will have enough publicity and faith from the community that I will not only be able to start my own business and craft my own potions, but I will never want for anything again."

The witch felt like she had been hexed. Only, it was worse than a hex. With a hex or a Stunning spell, there was always a remedy or counter-spell to make it better. This, however... There was no remedy for the pain she was feeling in her heart. Everything hurt. Her legs, her lungs, her head and heart ached...

They had been through so much together, they had spent endless hours in each other's presences. The touches and caresses, the laughs and the hour-long conversations... Was it really all for nothing? Was it really all just a game so that he could use her good name for profit?

"S-So you used me..." Tears stinging her eyes, she squeezed them closed so that he wouldn't see her vulnerability. "You knew what I wanted to do and then you knew I had feelings for you..."

"Your feelings towards me are very childish and irrelevant." She couldn't see him but the harshness in his voice wounded her deeply. "All irrational emotions - particularly romantic and sexual ones - tend to cloud one's judgement, shielding us from the truth. I manipulated those feelings so that you would be cooperative. It was easy, although wrong, I shall admit that. The truth is this, Hermione Granger: I do value your friendship, but your affections towards me are pointless and unwanted. I have no desire whatsoever to become anything more. I used you to get what I wanted."

"Th-That's not true... You kissed me." Despite her conscience telling her not to, she looked up at him. She hated the way he was staring so blankly at her. "Last night, you had kissed me!"

Her words, however true they were, had no effect on the Potions master. He stood as tall and as dignified as ever. "If I recall correctly..." His cold eyes wandered upward, almost thoughtfully. "It was you who had kissed me."

"But you kissed me back!"

"It was a momentary lapse of control and reason," he replied, giving a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. "Any man would have taken advantage of the situation."

The air around them was so cold all of a sudden. "I... I just... I had thought..."

"You thought what?" Severus' puzzled expression turned to one of mean amusement. "Oh my. Did you really believe that we were going to become romantic companions? Perhaps lovers? Hm?" His voice became uncharacteristically cruel and brought back painful memories of her younger years... "That we would stay up until all hours of the night, professing words of endearment and affection? That I would send you bouquets of flowers and write poetry in handmade cards? That I would one day make love to you?" His voice slowly became icy and dead. "I am not that man, Hermione Granger, and you are foolish to think that I would do any of those things for you. You believe yourself to be special, but you couldn't be more wrong. Tell me - what qualities do you posses to even consider of being my lover?" His question caught her off guard but, again, he made no move to let her answer. "What admirable qualities do you believe you have to deserve to live with me? You may be intelligent and attractive, but you are not as captivating as others. You aren't enough to tempt me. You are half my age and you aren't even sexually active. You are more like a child than a woman. What led you to believe that I was attracted to you?"

Hermione felt so mortified that her face burned.

She felt mortified beyond humiliation that she wished that she could just disappear. His words cut her so deeply. She wished for a moment, for the first time ever, that he would strike her. The shock of physical pain would have been far better than the pain she was feeling inside... So every thing that she had been feeling towards him, every wandering thought or daydream, every touch... It was all true on her end, but for him, it was all a ruse to entice her to do his bidding. The very thought of being manipulated so easily made her queasy...

Tears spilled down her cheeks freely and she made no move to stop them from flowing.

"Wh-Why are you saying these horrible things?" she stammered, feeling like an idiot as she did so. This wasn't her. She wasn't some simpering little girl. And yet... She was all but reduced to it. "You care about me... You would never say these things to hurt me."

"It is not to hurt you." he said. "But it is so that you will rid yourself of this foolish fantasy. I will never be what you want me to be and I will never return your affections. They are wasted on me. I-," He hesitated. "I don't want you."

Hermione found herself shaking her head. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instinct told her to leave, to run away, to seek shelter in a secret place and let everything she was feeling out.

But now that she looked up at him, even if he wasn't displaying it emotionally or physically, he was concealing something important from her.

He must be lying! I don't know why, but he is lying to me! Hermione took in a shaky breath. It doesn't matter if he's lying to me... He's resorting to old habits. He's pushing me away by insulting me and degrading me... Indignation flared inside the witch's chest, her blood racing quickly in this new realization. Who the hell does he think he is to do this to me? I am not some stupid tavern hussy he can just yell at and throw around however he wishes! I deserve more respect than this!

In two quick strides, she was standing before him once more. Only, instead of cowering and almost crumbling into tears like before, she found herself glaring up at him. She felt a burning urge to strike him but she thought better of it. In no way would violence resolve anything nor would it calm the storm inside of her, but boy, would she give anything to punch him. Furious, hurt, and betrayed, Hermione jabbed a finger in the chest of the perplexed wizard.

"You're lying to me." she hissed at him through clenched teeth.

His eyes widened a fraction of an inch at her accusation, but he said nothing to defend himself.

So she didn't stop.

"You feel something for me and that scares the shit out of you. Because of it you are pushing me away. Not only are you pushing me away, you're choosing to shut me out, too. You went as far as to invent some crazy horseshit that you don't care about me and that all you wanted was my brain for the Cure! That's... That's..." Shaking from anger, her words fumbled out of her mouth. "Look me in the eye and tell me the truth! I deserve that, don't I?"

Her body trembled with emotion, her tight fists shaking in pure rage. She kept her eyes locked on the man before her, who stared right back at her. She inwardly pleaded - desperately begging - that he would give in. Tell me the truth, she internally screamed at him. Don't do this to me, not after all we've been through and how far we've come!

Severus took in a composing breath and straightened his back once more. "I meant everything." he spoke in an even baritone. "I don't want you. You gave me what I desired and now I have no more use for you."

Liar!

"You are a coward, Severus Snape." she hissed through clenched teeth at him. "And no matter how cruel you make your words or how thick you make your skin, that doesn't change. Instead of being honest about ANYTHING in your life, you'd rather HIDE behind your mask of lies!"

Something flashed in his eyes. Something familiar, something subtle, and something dangerous. In one fluid motion, he grasped her shoulders in an iron grip. She stumbled over her feet as he forcefully pushed her until she stood out the doorway of his classroom.

"Get. Out." he hissed.

She blinked and the door slammed closed right in her face.

END.

BAAAHHHH! I don't like writing chapters like these... I like the chapters that are filled with rainbows and sunshine! D:

God bless!

SonicxAmyfan4Life

Random fact of the day: Monsoon season! I love Monsoon season! Whoo hoo!