*Okay so I decided to this from Derek's perspective. This is almost the end, I actually have the second last chapter almost finished before I even finished this one. I'm still trying to decide how I'm going to end this. Hope you like :)*

Chapter 26 – The Toughest Decision

The days after proposing to Renesmee seemed to fly by as a blur. After we returned to her house that night, her family was overjoyed about the engagement but we agreed to keep it quiet until Jacob returned. It pained me to see the ring have to stay in the box until after the news was broken to Jacob; Rene promised to keep on her always until she could finally place it where the ring belonged. Naturally now that she had accepted to marry me, another subject was brought up; my transformation. I had learned from Carlisle that the Volturi were strongly against a human knowing the vampire secret and from the stories of when Bella was a human, I knew this was dangerous for the family. For one, Renesmee was still unsure if changing me was the smartest move. She had inherited her father's beliefs that a human's life was precious and that it was selfish to for me to turned just so we could be together forever.

"I cannot let you just leave your family for me, you already lost your father. How can I ask you to allow them to lose you just for me. It was different for Mom, the Volturi knew about her being human and being pregnant with me did not help either." Her eyes shifted towards the front door as Bella stepped onto the porch, a solemn expression on her face. Before I could even open my mouth, Rene disappeared into the house as Bella placed a hand on my shoulder. She softly smiled but the smile did not reach her eyes, they seemed to be almost frozen with sadness. Just by looking into those topaz eyes, I knew why she was here. Edward had already given me this lecture but to me, it was a one sided conversation. He was happy that Renesmee was with me and finally free of Jacob but he was once again stuck in the position of changing someone. It had been a personal request of Renesmee since she was unable to change me herself.

Bella gently squeezed my shoulder since she could tell exactly what was troubling me, the topic of me becoming a vampire was a very prominent conversation in the household; next to our upcoming wedding. It had been decided that we would be married the week after Jacob returned, right after the family would be moving to Denali. The wedding was less nerve-racking then the fact I could be a vampire in such a short time, it was already fully planned all that was changing was the groom. We had moved the date to later since the family was being cautious since we had no idea how the wolves would react once Renesmee broke the news.

"Derek, you really need to think about changing. I know you love my daughter and want to be with her forever but it is a hard price to pay. I was lucky that the family risked everything to stay here so I could still see my father. This is different, this engagement will forever end the truce between us and the pack. We will never be able to return once you and Renesmee marry; we are making a big sacrifice. I hope you understand that." My hand gripped the railing as her words sank in, I was the reason that Bella was saying goodbye to her father and everything she was comfortable with. Part of me wanted to say the family could leave, Rene and I could stay and start our own life. Then I would remember that taking her away from the Cullens would be worse then losing her to a werewolf. "I've been where you now stand. I hate to be leaving Forks but I would do anything so my daughter can have her own happiness, I nearly died to protect her once and I will do it again."

I finally turned to look Bella right in the eyes; they had now become topaz flames. The thought of Renesmee being harmed erupted an eternal flame, the kind that any mother had for their child. It made my heart ache knowing how much pain my need to be with Rene was putting her in. "Bella I feel horrible for doing this but I love her with everything I have. You changed for Edward and you still have everything. I cannot bare to even think that in maybe eighty years I will wither and die, while she will live forever, always mourning my death. You are the one person to completely understand how I feel, I hate to make you say goodbye to your father but you will able to be there until the very end. Please, it is all I am asking." I lowered my head feeling pathetic for nearly begging to be changed. Begging seemed to be my only option now since, the family was torn over the subject.

For a moment Bella stayed silent and when I finally raised my head to look towards her, her eyes were shut and she seemed highly concentrated. The look was familiar to me now, I had learned of all the family's abilities and from the look, I could tell she was raising her mental shield to share her thoughts with Edward. I almost expected to see Edward appear at her side within moments but we remained alone. As her eyes opened she seemed less troubled and finally smiled. "I am going to ask one thing of you before the decision is made. For the remainder of the week, I ask that you spend time with your family and human friends. To give you time to truly decide on whether you want to be a vampire or not. The only contact with Renesmee will be by phone. I want you to immerse yourself in the human world to truly see if you are ready to leave. You must remember that if you change, you will have to say goodbye to your family. This is all I ask of you before the wedding, will you do this Derek?"

I could feel the blood draining from my face as Bella looked upon me. She seemed so calm as she asked this one thing from me. Why would she spring this on me now? Jacob was returning in such a short time; he had called earlier today to remind Renesmee of what time he plane was arriving in Seattle. We knew that the moment his flight touched down, he would be on his way here to see his bride-to-be. We had a short time together before the peace was broken by the end of the peace between wolf and vampire, how could I stay away from Renesmee for so long. "This not just to see if I am truly fit to become a vampire is it? You are testing me to see if I really love Renesmee. To see if I am willing to give up my family, my friends and everything I know, just for her" I folded my arms across my chest as I stared at the vampire mother with a smirk upon my face. I was no mere stupid human, I understood the hidden meaning in this request. It was almost as if Bella was not willing for her daughter to follow in her own footsteps.

"Very clever Derek but you should know I mean the best. I am not against you marrying my daughter or even you becoming a vampire. I am looking out for you, I know the sacrifices you have to make and I want to make sure you are ready. We are not saying you will never be a vampire, you can stay human for a few years until you are absolutely sure." I held up my hand as I shook my head, I knew this was Edward coming out in her. I was almost expecting her to say I needed to do everything human I could before I made my decision.

We stood in silence for a few minutes as I thought about her request. Spending my last days as a human with my mom and sister would be perfect. They both were not too happy with my upcoming marriage but deep down I knew they were happy I found that special someone. I started to wonder if they really could handle themselves without me. Amy was so young and losing Dad really hurt her, I was that rock she needed to get through the loss. Mom on the other hand was doing much better, she had been dating someone for the last six months and she was happy. The question was, were they really ready to say goodbye to another member of the family. It was not a forever goodbye, I would be able to keep in touch but from what I had learned from Carlisle, I would be unable to visit them in person for quite sometime. The life of a newborn was dangerous, all they ever thought about was blood. I silently hoped I would be just like Bella, able to skip the newborn phase but I knew that would be impossible. Bella, as most of the family said, had almost been born to be a vampire. Even though I had dived into research of vampires and such, I knew it would not help once the venom sealed my fate.

This was a decision I could not make lightly, I did want to be with her forever and if that meant losing a true human life; I was almost sure I could make it. If I did become a vampire, I would miss out watching Amy grow into a strong, independent woman. I would not be there when she brought home her first boyfriend, be there for any questions she felt too embarrassed to ask Mom. I'd never be there when she graduated high school or college; I'd miss out on her wedding, children and just Amy completely. I took a deep breath before looking towards Bella. "I will do what you ask Bella, thank you for giving me a chance."