Chapter 26 - Lost and Found

PRESENT DAY

With their bellies reasonably full with burger and fries, the Damon, Stefan, Elena and Rebekah begrudgingly separate. Initially, Damon planned to walk with Stefan and Elena to the hotel and wait there until the train to Cold Spring was due, but realised that it made more sense to split up. The police are looking for the three of them, so if they separate they might be safer. Saying goodbye to Stefan is much harder than Damon anticipated and causes a lump to rise in his throat that he can't seem to squash.

"Are you sure you wanna do this?" Stefan asks. "I still think it might be a better idea of Rebekah goes alone and-"

Damon just eyes Stefan, and Stefan sighs. "I should've known I'd be wasting my breath. You're a stubborn ass."

"Well, it runs in the family," Damon replies, with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

They both smile, but the smile soon fades from Stefan's place and his eyes grow dark.

"Hey, now we won't have any of that. I'll be in Cold Spring two nights max."

"What are you hoping to find Damon? This is the man that likely killed Elena's parents. Are you expecting that you'll rock up and tell him who you are, and he'll voluntarily hand himself over? You heard what Rebekah said about him back there, he's dangerous. We know that. Elena's parents are proof of that and so is Katherine."

"You need to stop worrying so much, little brother. You'll be grey long before me at this rate."

Despite Damon's attempts to lighten the mood, Stefan is having none of it, and Damon knows he needs to drop the pretence and be real with him. But it's what Damon does and what he's always done when in an emotional situation - he uses humour and deflection to avoid having to feel the things he doesn't want to feel.

"I'm going there to get the truth. If he's the one that had Elena's parents killed, I want proof. He's the only one that can exonerate us. I know what I'm doing, Stef. I'm not going into this blind."

"Are you sure about that? Because I don't think you know what the hell you're getting yourself into."

"You need to have more faith."

Stefan sighs. "And what about Katherine?"

"What about her?"

"Well, this is about her too, isn't it?"

"Not right now, no."

Stefan blinks at him in surprise.

"I've told you, my priority now is you and Elena. What I'm hoping to get from this trip is an end to our running. I want the three of us to be able to go back home and move on from this sorry mess."

"And can you really do that without Katherine?"

Damon doesn't even hesitate to reply "no" in his head, but finds himself saying the opposite. "She knows where I live, if she ever decides she wants to reach out, she can."

Stefan titters. "Do you think I'm that stupid that I'd believe that? I know you, Damon. You don't just give up like that. When you get something in your head, you'll fight to the death to see it through."

"That's a tad melodramatic."

"No, it's not."

"Okay, so maybe I won't give up completely. When you're safe and all of this has died down, there might be an opportunity for me to look for her again." All this speak of might is laughable, since Stefan knows as well as Damon that Damon definitely will keep looking for her.

"Thank you. I know you're doing all of this for me and honestly, it's a relief. Not because you're prioritising me, but because you're finally thinking smart. I know you don't like to hear it, but this stuff with Katherine has got the better of you at times and clouded your judgement."

Damon doesn't usually take criticism well, but he accepts it this time because he knows it's true. "I know."

"Being smart is the most important thing you can be right now. I know you've got some secret plan that you refuse to tell me, and I don't care what it is, all I care is that it's smart. I don't wanna lose you, Damon."

Damon didn't expect that and is momentarily taken aback. He reaches his hand out and places it firmly on Stefan's shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze for good measure. "I promise you that you won't lose me. This isn't a bad thing, Stef, it's a good thing. This is how we're going to turn it all around, trust me."

Stefan nods. "Just be careful, okay?"

"Careful is my middle name."

"And don't do anything...reckless or impulsive. Be-"

"Smart? I got it. Besides, since when am I reckless or impulsive?"

They both chuckle.

"When you get on that train, you leave everything else behind, right? You think with your head, not your heart. Got it?"

Damon smiles. "I thought I was supposed to be the cop here."

"I guess all those action movies you forced me to watch as a kid rubbed off on me," Stefan smiles.

Damon pulls Stefan into a rib-cracking hug, catching Stefan off-guard. For a moment he lets his mask slide, but remembers that he must be strong and pulls away from the embrace to give Stefan a reassuring smile.

"I'll see you in a couple of days."

"You'll check in every couple of hours, right?"

"You bet."

"Remember everything I said."

Stefan walks back to Elena and takes her hand. Damon smiles at both of them.

"I'll take care of him for you," Elena says.

They're the most heartfelt words Elena has ever shared with him and as he watches the pair leave the train station and disappear out of sight, he feels contented to know that his brother has found someone that truly loves him. He has always fought for Stefan to have everything he wants and was determined not to let their absentee parents put him at a disadvantage in life, and he realises in this moment that even with how complicated everything is, Stefan is exactly who he always hoped he would be. He's an intelligent, strong, successful, happy and kind young man. Even Damon he doesn't come back, at least he will die knowing that.

The moment Damon has had the thought he curses at himself. Thoughts of death have been creeping into his mind more and more over the course of the day, but he makes a vow to stop thinking it. He asked Stefan to have faith, but he needs to find some faith of his own. Rebekah returns from the bathroom and comes up beside him.

"Are you alright?"

When he turns to look at her, and sees her sapphire eyes so full of concern he does something completely out of character and hugs her. She laughs lightly as they pull apart and asks, "What the bloody hell is that all about?"

"Just feeling a little sappy, I guess."

Rebekah laughs. "Okay. What time have you got?" Rebekah asks.

Damon glances at his watch. "We've got about another hour to kill until the train arrives."

She groans. "Why does time have to go so bloody slow?"

"Huh, tell me about it. I feel like I've been trapped in a time lapse this last week."

They take a seat on a nearby bench and Rebekah asks the same question Stefan did not 10 minutes previously. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

"Why does everybody keep asking me that?"

"Maybe because they think you're making the wrong decision."

Damon turns to look at her. "Do you think that?"

"It doesn't matter what I think."

"I'm asking you your opinion."

She sighs deeply. "Okay, if you want my honest opinion, I think this whole situation is the most messed up crap I've ever known and there's no right or wrong way to handle it."

"But?"

"But you're too close to it. I know you keep saying this trip is just to meet my brother and ask him some questions, but we both know it's more than that."

"Do we?"

Rebekah raises her eyebrows at him. "I want to help you Damon, I want to help all of you, but you know I wouldn't do anything that puts my brother in danger."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means if you're planning to do something stupid, don't."

"You really are starting to sound like Stefan."

"I'm just trying to get everything straight before we get on that train. This isn't be about revenge or hurting Klaus, it's about getting answers that will lead us to Katherine."

"No, it's about keeping me, my brother and Elena out of a prison cell."

"That too."

"No, that's what it's all about."

Rebekah frowns at him. "What do you mean?"

"My priorities have changed since we first decided to go to Cold Spring. I know we both wanted to get some info on Katherine and try and find her together, and I still want to do that, but the most important thing is that we get something that can exonerate us."

"And I'm happy to help you do that."

"You're sure about that?"

"Of course." Rebekah's intense eyes remain on him for a long moment. "Damon, I'm not just doing this for you or Elena or Stefan or even Katherine. I'm doing it for Lexi. I know how much she loves you guys, you're like brothers to her and even though she didn't want me to come here because she was afraid of what I might be getting into, I know deep down she's pleased that I'm helping you."

"Have you spoken to her?"

"This morning. She asked how you were."

Damon feels guilty for not having spoken to her since they left Chicago given everything she's done for him. If it weren't for her, they wouldn't have had a safe place to go and he wouldn't have found Rebekah.

"Lexi trusts you and because of that I'm choosing to trust you too. But don't make me regret it, okay? Don't make me regret ever agreeing to do this."

"I won't, I swear. But I'm trusting you, too."

"Me? What?"

"I'm trusting that what you've told me is the truth."

She looks horrified and offended. "Are you accusing me of lying?"

"No, no, of course not. I'm simply saying I hope you're doing this for the reasons you said and that your loyalties haven't been compromised."

"Compromised?"

"Look, I know how powerful the bonds of family are, particularly between siblings and the thought has entered my mind more than once that perhaps you know more about Klaus' crimes and past than you've shared."

Rebekah shakes her head. "After everything I've told you, you really think I'm luring you into a trap? No offence Damon, but you really overestimate your importance. Klaus doesn't know you exist and neither did I until two days ago. How could we have planned this if I had no idea you were going to show up at Lexi's?"

Damon shrugs. "Like I said, I'm not accusing you of anything. You said you've placed your trust in me because of Lexi, but I'm placing my trust in you because I don't have any other choice."

She scoffs. "Charming."

"It's not an insult, I don't trust anyone, at least not fully. A smart person will always harbour some suspicion or scepticism for everyone they know, because that's the only way to stay one step ahead." Damon steps closer to her and stares at her intensely. "I do usually have good instincts about people and I sense that you're being genuine, but I have no choice but to reserve a certain amount of suspicion and distrust. It's my nature."

Strong and assured, Rebekah looks him square in the eye and says, "No wonder you're so lonely. What kind of way is that to live?"

"In this situation, it's the only way."

Rebekah leans away from him and sighs. "I really hope you find what you're looking for in Cold Spring, Damon."

Rebekah looks at him with a mixture of sympathy and pity, and it reaffirms that his instincts about her are right. She's not doing this to lure him into some unspeakable trap so her brother can remove him from the equation to stop him digging about Katherine or revealing him as Elena's parents killer. She's doing it because she truly cares about Lexi and understands how much Damon and Stefan mean to her. Rebekah is doing this out of loyalty for the woman she loves that's enough for Damon.

She sighs. "Now that's over with, I think we should go through everything again."

Damon groans inwardly, but smiles at her politely. How many times have they been over what they're going to say and do, and how they're going to behave? It should make Damon more nervous that Klaus is clearly so unstable that Rebekah has to train him how to behave around him and warn him what not to say, but all he can do is stare at the seconds ticking by. He can feel that the end is near and he's itching for it.

When Rebekah has finished dishing out her orders, she asks out of the blue, "What you said about Katherine before, you didn't really mean that, did you?"

He recalls Elena and Stefan asking him the same question. "Why are you asking me that?"

"Because I know how much you want to find her, because I do too. You can't walk away from her."

"Why not? She walked away from me." The moment the words have left Damon's mouth he regrets them. He knows how pathetic and juvenile he sounds, but his heart got the better of him. Seems he's already forgetting to make use of Stefan's advice to think with his head rather than his heart.

"What happened to the guy that said meeting me was fate? That we were supposed to meet and work together to find Katherine?"

Damon shrugs. "Maybe he stopped living in a fantasy."

Rebekah eyes him suspiciously. "You don't really mean that."

Damon doesn't even attempt to keep up the facade as he admits, "No, I don't, but she can't be my priority anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because if I get too caught up in Katherine, I compromise everyone and everything else in my life. I can't risk putting Stefan in harms way and I can't let him spend his life on the run or in a prison cell."

Rebekah nods. "I do understand, you know. I may not have always had the most healthy relationship with my brothers, but that doesn't change the fact that I'd do anything I could to keep them safe."

"That's why the most important thing is finding out who killed Elena's parents. We need names to take to the police. Are you still okay with that?"

"Yes, but Nik won't sell out his men."

"We'll worry about that when it comes to it."

Rebekah eyes him but Damon says nothing more. This trip has connected him to Rebekah in an odd partnership and for that reason, he has shared a lot with her, more than he usually would with someone he met only days ago, but there are still some cards that he's keeping close to his chest.

"So are you sure you don't want me to dig about Katherine? Are you sure you won't regret that?"

"If the opportunity arises, yes, but not at the expense of getting the names of the men that killed Elena's parents. And you know what they say, the best way to find something that's lost is to stop looking."

"You believe that drivel?"

Damon shrugs. "All I know is that I can't put all of my energy into Katherine anymore. It's me doing that that got Elena's parents killed in the first place."

That sympathetic look returns to Rebekah's face. Damon can no longer bear to look it.

"Come on, let's get some coffee."

The second Stefan and Elena enter their hotel room and lock the door behind them, they breathe a sigh of relief. Stefan hadn't realised just how tense and on edge he'd been since arriving in New York. This is the first time he's felt somewhat safe since they left Chicago.

"Are you hungry?" Stefan asks Elena, who is in the bathroom washing up. "I can order room service."

Elena exits the bathroom, dabbing her face dry with a towel and laughs. "Stefan, we just ate a half hour ago."

"Sorry. I just... I want to make sure you're okay."

She sets the towel back down in the bathroom and perches herself on the edge of the bed next to him. She runs her fingertips lightly across his head and slides them into his hair and Stefan feels comforted all the more for feeling her touch against his skin.

"I know and I appreciate that, but I'm fine. If I'm being completely honest, this is the most fine I've been in days."

"Really?"

Elena nods. "Really. Do you know why? Because we're safe and we're together, and this thing is almost over."

Stefan is taken aback by Elena's optimism since he has so many doubts. He decides not to share them with her because he doesn't want to rain on her parade, but she reads his mind anyway.

"I know you're worried about Damon and you think this plan is well...inherently flawed, but all this time you've been telling me to trust Damon and that he's a smart guy and that he'll get us out of this. What happened to change that?"

Stefan hangs his head, reluctant to open up. She reaches for his hand and calls his name firmly, beckoning him to share his thoughts with her.

"We have to be honest with each other, Stefan. It's the only way, we agreed. I can handle it. Please."

"I dunno...I guess, I kept telling myself Damon knew what he was doing and that he'd figure a way out of this because it's all that I had to keep me going. I didn't let myself dwell on it or think on it, but now that I am..." he inhales sharply. "I don't like Damon going there. I know he has this master secret plan but Klaus is dangerous."

"If he has a plan, trust that he knows what he's doing. You have until now."

"When we were saying goodbye before he told me to have faith in him."

"So have faith in him."

"I just feel so useless. I hate not being able to help."

"You are helping. You're helping just by being here with me."

Only Elena can do that. Only she can make him feel so much better with just a few small words.

"I'm sorry, I guess I just don't handle unpredictable all that well. I hate not knowing what's going to happen next."

"I do too. I hate it even more because I know there's no easy way out of this. Whatever happens, there's going to be a police investigation, a trial, my parents funeral. I might even have to come face to face with Katherine, but I can't think about that, because do you know what's kept me going through all of this?"

Stefan shakes his head.

"Being present. I realised if I kept worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow or the next day or next week or next year, I'd go crazy. But I also realised that if I kept clinging to the past, wishing I could go back and change everything, that'd make me just as crazy. It's not easy. I still catch myself thinking about that day outside the house. What would've happened if I'd reacted differently to finding out I was adopted, if I'd have listened instead of storming out, if I hadn't have said all those awful things..."

"None of it was your fault."

Elena blinks back tears and breathes deeply. "The point is all we can do is be here, now. The past is gone and done, and we can't change it. And the future is out of our control, we can't determine which path it's going to take. But the present, we have full control of that. We can make it whatever we want it to be."

Elena's words are powerful and when Stefan meets her gaze he can see a fire in the depth of her dark eyes that leaves him in awe of her.

"We've survived and we're here, that's what matters." She places her palm flat against Stefan's chest and says, "Are you here with me, Stefan?"

He's so breathless he can't bring himself to speak, so nods with conviction. The way she's gazing at him is so intense that it sparks an electric between them that causes Stefan's heart to beat so hard he feels it's going to crack his ribs. Elena leans into him and gently bites his lower lip, leaving him stunned and excited. He didn't expect the conversation to take the direction it is, but he's ecstatic and becoming completely lost in the tension that's enveloping them. Elena slides Stefan's jacket off his shoulders and catches his mouth with hers in a desperate kiss.

They've kissed so many times before, each one utterly unique and beautiful, but never like this. Stefan can feel that this is something more. It's terrifyingly intense and causes him to tremble. He leans away from Elena's mouth and asks, "Are you sure?"

She nods her head. "I've never been so sure of anything in my entire life. I want to feel you." She kisses him again. "I want you to make love to me, Stefan."

He groans into her mouth as she straddles his lap. "My body's aching for you. I love you."

"I love you so much," Stefan breathes.

They collapse back onto the soft mattress, a tangle of limbs and frantically begin undressing each other. There's such relief, elation, love, desire and a million and one other emotions between them that this is the only way to express it all. Stefan never expected that their first time would be like this, but it's everything he dreamed of and more.

As they make love all through the night, Stefan realises that the word love is not enough to describe how he feels for Elena. What they have is so much more - it's spiritual, it's the joining of two souls, a cosmic connection that Stefan didn't believe could exist until tonight. Even amongst the death and pain that is present in their lives, there is no room for anything else but them as the rest of the world slips away. His senses are filled with Elena and just for a few hours everything is perfect.

"The train is due in 5 minutes, let's walk," Damon announces.

Rebekah falls in step with him and they leave the waiting room to head for the platform.

"So remember what I said, alright? Follow my lead at all times, don't mention Katherine or anything about Elena's parents, and remember that he thinks we met at college."

"Got it, got it," Damon nods. "We've been over it a thousand times."

"You know what you said before about always being suspicious of everyone? Well my brother is like that but a million times worse. If he senses something is off or there's a hole in our story, this'll all have been for nothing. Remember, you promised that we'd do this on my terms, in my way."

"It might have escaped your attention, but I am a cop. I know something about going undercover," Damon retorts sarcastically.

Rebekah glares at him through narrowed eyes and Damon titters. "What platform is it again?" Rebekah asks scanning the list of train times on the screen in front of them.

Damon gets the ticket out of his back pocket. "Um, platform 4. This way."

As they arrive at the platform, it's noisy and crowded, as people push their way forward to board a train that's just pulled in. Despite living in the city, Damon rarely uses public transport and asks Rebekah whether the train is theirs. Luckily, Rebekah is more knowledgeable than him when it comes to public transport and informs him it's not. When the platform has quietened down again, Damon catches sight of a petite figure and a mass of wild curls peering out from beneath a blue baseball cap further down the platform. Everywhere Damon has been lately he sees Katherine. Any young brunette female he catches sight of, gets his heart racing in the hopes that she is Katherine, but each time he sees their, his hopes are dashed. He expects the same to happen this time, but when the young girl turns around his entire world comes to an abrupt stop.

The station around him seems to disappear, he can't breathe, he can't think, he can't move, all he can do is stare in disbelief. He blinks rapidly, assuming his mind is playing tricks on him and that if he blinks hard enough or fast enough she won't look like Katherine anymore. The vivid image of her face is what he has clung to every day since she has left, and he wonders if he has become so disillusioned that he's now imagining that she's before him because he can't accept the alternative.

When she turns her head and catches sight of him, Damon knows for sure that this isn't a dream or a delusion. Even from across the platform he can see her breath catch in her throat and the shock in her eyes.

Those eyes... Damon would recognise them anywhere.

It's her.

It really is her.

She's here.

He's done it.

He's found her.