Chapter 25: For Now, For Always
Disclaimer: I don't own HP blah, blah, blah.
A/N: Here's the last chapter. I will post an epilogue in a day or so. Thank you to all the reviewers, the people whom favorite and added this story to their alerts. I hope you guys aren't disappointed with this chapter. It was probably the hardest and easiest chapter to write. I really didn't want to end this story. And yet, here it is. Enjoy♥
"Oh my gosh, he's awake!" gasped a girl's voice. Everything was a haze. Why was someone so shocked I was awake? Of course I would wake up; I was in that god forsaken cabin. "SOMEONE COME QUICK! DRACO'S AWAKE!" the voice yelled. I couldn't open my eyes, my eyelids felt like they weighed a ton.
The girl nudged me and I groaned wishing she would go away.
…..Wait…. someone was touching me? How was that possible? No one else could get in the cabin.
Slowly I opened my eyes to the blinding whiteness of the hospital wing. "Wuzzgoinonn?" I managed to grumble. Hold on a second. Shouldn't I be in my cabin? Why am I not there and where the hell is Hermione.
Suddenly a bundle of red hair appeared. Ginny Weasely. She had tears streaming down her face. "Why would you do such a stupid thing? Why would you do this to her." She rocked back and forth in the chair she had just sat in. "You're such a bastard; I knew you were no good." Ginny kicked my bed's framing and left the wing in a hurry.
I closed my eyes and groaned again. It was all too obvious now. I couldn't even ask if she was ok. I didn't need to. Weeks of research told me that.
Turning my head enough so that I couldn't see the bed next to me I saw Dumbledore walk up to the seat Ginny had previously occupied and sit down. "Mister Malfoy, how long?" he asked trying to sound calm, but anyone in their right mind would hear the tint of sadness it carried.
I closed my eyes tightly remembering the cabin. "I'm not sure, days, weeks, a month? Everything is a huge blur now.
Step one you say "We need to talk"
He walks, you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk"
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Once I opened my eyes he nodded and looked down. "I presume you know the outcome. With the two smartest most talented of your year being together. You both knew this situation clearly at the end I'm sure." The old man sniffled slightly. "I am disappointed to see that this situation actually occurred. And that Miss Granger went to such extents to save your life. I am sure that once you have passed on you can tell her how grateful you are." He rambled on about how a day there was an hour here, but I couldn't quite catch what he was saying. Everything was a huge blur and there was a loud buzzing in my ear. He was telling me that Hermione was dead wasn't he?
No, no… she wasn't gone. He was lying. It's all a bad dream. My god let it be a fucking dream please. I closed my eyes tightly. Picturing the last time I saw her… spoke to her. We were fighting once again about the outcome of this whole messed up thing. I told her not to fucking do this dammit.
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
I wanted nothing more to hit a wall… no… I wanted nothing more than to hold her. To have her smile at me and tell me that I was being silly for thinking she would ever do this… that she would ever give her life up for mine… So many people loved her… She had such amazing talents that no one else could ever live up to. And now she was …gone.
Why hadn't she listened to me? She had gone through so much and only became a stronger person whether she would admit it or not. She had gone through things that not even I would be able to handle nearly as well as she did. She was my hero, my shining star. A shining star that was fading out of my life all too quickly.
Taking a deep breath, I looked to the bed next to mine. Hermione lay there lifelessly. Her normally creamy pale skin was now a sickening white. Her eyes were closed and her chest wasn't rising and falling like it should be. Tears of anger and sadness welled into my eyes and I didn't even fight them.
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Several minutes later I was on her bed weeping against her. How could she leave me like this? How could she lay there and not breathe, yet expect me to live. It wasn't fair… I shook as I cried. Grasping her hands, her face, anything just hoping she would open her eyes and say "gotcha!" I couldn't take the reality.
I would give anything, to be back in that cabin with the stupid glass just so that she could live again.
Suddenly a strong hand patted my back softly. "C'mon Draco. 'Mione wouldn't want you to be like this." He said soothingly. Dumbledore seemed to have left when I wasn't paying attention.
"Yeah well I didn't want her dead, she didn't exactly come through with her end did she Potter?" I spat through my sobs.
Let him know that you know best
'Cause after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
He sighed and sat where Dumbledore had been sitting. "She did what she thought was best. Don't get me wrong… I'm going to miss that girl like hell." He brushes a part of her hair from her face. "I love her more than many know, and no not the same way you do. Hermione's the closest thing I've ever had to a sister… she's always been there for me." He sighed and took in a shaky breath. "If there's one thing I've learned in the past seven years Malfoy, it's to trust her decisions. Mourn all you want. But this is what was for the best. Even if it kills all of us inside. I'll never be mad at you for her death." And with that he left.
I placed one last kiss on her ice cold lips and whispered "I love you" in her ear. Then the medi-witches came to take her to St. Mungo's for a final check over so she could be buried a week from this day.
After Madame Pomfrey told me I could go to my own room I looked back sadly at her now empty bed. She practically had lived in that bed for five months. It took everything I had to not break down and cry again. God when did I become such an emotional wuss.
Hermione's voice rang in my head, "Love does some amazing things to people Draco. Always remember that." I laughed quietly to myself and shook my head. If this wasn't love I would never in my life experience it.
Lay down a list of what is wrong
Things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Even if it didn't have a happy ending like I wanted it to, it had enough happy moments, and moments of purity. Moments that I knew that everything was right. Being with her was right, no matter how wrong it was. No one and nothing could change how I felt for her. Not after knowing her. After holding her night after night in the common room. Joking about silly things while watching the fire crackle. The small things that made the bad things seem invalid.
With a deep sigh of sorrow, I closed the hospital wings doors behind me and clambered to the Head Dorms. Memories flashed again and I felt extremely overwhelmed. No matter how hard I tried not to, I glanced at her room. The door was opened and the room had been stripped of all of her things.
And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Not wanting to see ghosts of faint memories in the common room, I climbed up into my room. Before I jumped on my bed I noticed something.
A piece of parchment folded up. With a confused gaze, I went to pick it up. I brought it up to my face to smell a distant, but distinct scent. Vanilla Ice Cream. Hermione's favorite body spay. Shaking, I unfolded the letter.
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
My Dearest Draco,
If you're reading this now, then everything I planned for worked accordingly. I'm so, so sorry. I really do hope you understand that this was the only way.
No matter how much you think my life has a larger value than yours, you are wrong. Draco, you are a great wizard. Do not under any circumstances ever forget that. And don't you even dare think about killing yourself. I did this so you could live a life of peace, settle down with someone acceptable. Maybe even someone you will fall in love with.
Please, don't shelter the word love out of your life just because I am not in it anymore. It is my dying wish for you to live a life that you had wanted with me with someone else. Give them the best life you possibly can. Love them like you would never be able to love again.
Have children and treat them kindly. Be the father to them that you wish you could have had. Push them on the swings, eat ice cream. Get a dog and play fetch.
Become a professional Quidditch player, or teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. Heck, do both!
Just live your life to the limits, for me. But do not dwell on me. If you must, you can visit my grave once a year and mourn then. But no more than a day Draco. I do not wish to be the reason you give up on your hopes and dreams.
Tell Ginny I forgive her for making a silly mistake. I know she only had the best intentions in mind. Make sure that her and Harry never fall apart. They are the couple that saved us in the war if they know it or not.
Draco, know that I am in a better place now. My life wasn't made to be lived any longer. No matter how much I wish that was a false statement. If it meant that your life could last longer, then it meant mine wasn't supposed to.
You will do great things, I know you will. Don't let the bad times drown out the good.
I love you more than you will ever know. I wish things could have ended differently for us. But as all realistic stories say, love never has a happy ending because true love never ends. And Draco, my love for you will never end. So we can't have a happy ending.
Love always,
Hermione-Know-It-All Granger
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
A single tear fell onto the letter. She planned it all along and hadn't told me. She couldn't even warn me this was going to happen. Not a fair warning of the heartache I would have to suffer. Feeling more tears fight their way out I laid on my bed clutching the letter hoping maybe it would transform into Hermione.
A few minutes, and several tears later I fell into an uneasy sleep.
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
♥♥
A week had past, and I was now standing outside at the field that I had found Hermione at so many months ago. There were about two dozen people gathered around including a few Weasely's, Harry, Luna whom was saved from Bellatrix (whom was now in Azkaban again) at the last moment, and most of the professors.
It had turned out that this was Hermione's favorite place before she came to Hogwarts. It was the place we had all agreed on burying her at. I stood tall in my black suit, trying my hardest to be composed. Ginny and Mrs. Weasely were both sobbing uncontrollably. Harry even was choking back tears. I had to be strong. For Hermione.
Dumbledore said a few words about how great she was, and how much she would be missed. But that none of us would know how much she truly meant except the four people closest to her. Ron, Harry, Luna and I all exchanged knowing glances.
We all loved her in different ways that was certain. But we loved her no matter what. We all knew she would be better off in the end. It was just too much for her to handle here. And I knew deep down that even if she could have come back with me we never would have been accepted in society. We would have to be on the run all of our lives. Being sure not to be killed by death eaters. It was better this way.
I took out the iPod she left me. I always saw her mess with it but I never understood how it worked. I put the errr... 'head-fones' in my ears the way I saw her do it and turned it on.
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life?
I took in a shaky breath and gripped my necklace as she was lowered into the ground and covered.
"I love you Hermione Granger." I whispered as a one single tear fell.
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
The necklace warmed and I looked at it curiously. "I love you too"
How to save a life
How to save a life
The end…