A/N: It was so great to get Reid out of his apartment last chapter. But alas, now we're back.
Enjoy!

Chapter 26: Sleepless Nights

Once he'd gotten Morgan out of his apartment Reid slept the rest of the afternoon and evening. It was far from a deep restful sleep though. Every few hours he'd wake up in a cold sweat, shaking uncontrollably. He wanted to be sick but he didn't want to get up, so he'd just curl up tighter and pulls the blankets in closer and ride it out until sleep took him again.

The following morning he was awoken to a knock on his door. He grumbled and finally pulled himself out of bed and stumbled out of his room. He'd debated grabbing his housecoat, it would have helped cover the wet state of the clothes he was still wearing from the previous day, but as it wasn't needed for decency purposes he ignored it and moved past.

Opening the door he frowned, "Gideon?"

"Spencer. I didn't want to just let myself in." Gideon replied.

"Um, thank you. I was just sleeping, uh, come in." He opened the door wider and stepped aside.

Gideon crossed the threshold, and waited for the door to close behind him before he gave Reid a hard look. "You don't look good." he stated bluntly.

"Well, I'm fine, just had a rough night." Reid replied, as his gut started to twist again. He leaned up against the wall to steady himself.

"What happened yesterday? You never told anyone what happened after we lost audio." Gideon said.

"I don't really remember. I got punched or something in the side of the head," he pointed to the minor cut hiding in his hairline, "and after that it's all a little fuzzy." Which was the truth to a point, and then things became clear again, but he didn't feel the need to mention that. The trial would start on Monday, today was Wednesday, if it was even suspected that he'd used recently he knew the team wouldn't allow him to testify. Granted he hadn't wanted it, but Reid was sure that wouldn't make a difference. They could never know about this because his testimony would be one of the most important ones.

"Spencer! Hey, look at me!" Gideon said, placing a hand on either side of Reid's neck. He knew Reid hadn't heard a word he'd just been saying.

"Hmm?" Reid mumbled, blinking the world back into focus. "Oh, sorry. I'm still a little dazed I think."

"You really don't look well." Gideon remarked as Reid broke out into a sweat again. "Spencer, you're in the same clothes you were yesterday, you're soaking wet, and you're eyes don't look right. Like you're not really here." He didn't want to say Reid looked high, but it certainly crossed his mind.

"Don't say that. I just… I just need to lie down." Reid pushed off the wall and stumbled forward.

Gideon caught him before he hit the floor, and lowered him the rest of the way slowly. Reid paused for a moment on his hands and knees and then started to crawl to the washroom. He couldn't fight off the nausea now that he had been standing. Gideon followed him and watched forlornly as Reid vomited up what little he had in his stomach. When Reid lay down on the cool floor Gideon approached and knelt beside him. "Spencer," he said wiping Reid's brow with his sleeve, "you're having withdrawals aren't you? I thought we worked around that problem."

Reid shook his head, sucking in breaths, "No. No, I'm not, I'm fine. Just go to work, and I'll be okay."

"Spencer, talk to me. What's going on?"

"I… I guess our clever plan didn't work. I've managed on my own for the last 12 or more hours, I don't need a witness to my pain. Just go. Please." Reid said.

"You know I'm not leaving. When did it start?"

Reid did his best to shrug, "A few hours after I got home I think. I don't know. I went straight to bed. Which is what I'm going back to now." He pushed himself up and Gideon helped him stand. "You really can go. I don't need a babysitter."

"This isn't about what you need; it's about what I want. I'm calling Hotch to tell him I'm staying here." Reid didn't object as Gideon got up and distanced himself to make the call. "Aaron, it's Gideon," he glanced at Reid who'd curled into a tight ball and was shaking badly. His voice caught in his throat and he had to walk to the living room to finish his sentence. "I stopped off to see how Spencer was doing, and I think I need to stay here… No… I don't know, maybe… No that's okay, we'll be fine… Goodbye." He walked back to the bathroom and Reid had pushed himself in a sitting position against the tub.

Reid looked at Gideon with accusing eyes, "He thinks I'm still using doesn't he? You both do. But I'm not, I swear to you I'm not!"

"I don't think you are, Spencer, but I don't know what this is. I'm worried."

"It's nothing. I'm fine."

"You can't expect me to believe you. You're not fine, Spencer. Anyone would be able to see that."

"Help me up. I'm going back to bed. If you want to stay, fine, but I'm not going to socialize with you or anyone else. I just want to sleep."

Gideon helped Reid to his feet and walked with him to the bedroom. "You should get out of those clothes. It can't be comfortable sleeping in something so wet."

"It won't make a difference, the bedding is wet too." Reid mumbled crawling into the damp bed. "Make me a coffee? Please?"

Gideon nodded, "Of course." He left the room to make the desired coffee, and spend the rest of the day in solitude, checking on Reid whenever he heard the small cries or whimpers.

In the evening Reid finally got up and changed his clothes, putting on his warm housecoat overtop. He wandered out into the kitchen in search of food, totally ignoring Gideon's presence. From the fridge he took out a Babybel wheel of cheese. He took off the wrapping, and peeled off the thick wax coating that protected the cheese before walking over to his chair and sitting down. "So, you're still here."

"Of course I am." Gideon replied.

"Why?" Reid asked.

"Because, Spencer, I care about you, I needed to make sure you'd be okay."

"I told you I would be, and I am aren't I?"

"I don't know. Are you?"

"Yes," Reid replied, "I think so." He sighed and pulled his legs up onto the chair, drawing his knees up under his chin. He nibbled on his cheese, avoiding Gideon's gaze as much as he could. The silence was broken by a knock at the door. Reid finished off his cheese and got up to answer it. He looked out at Hotch with Morgan in tow and then opened the door further. "Oh, hey guys. C-come on in."

He closed the door behind them and followed them to the living room as they greeted Gideon. He certainly wasn't up for visitors but he couldn't turn them away either. They took seats on the couch as Reid sat back down in his chair. "So Reid man, how you doin'?" Morgan asked.

"I'm fine." Reid replied.

The three men on the couch shared a glance that Reid didn't see, and then Hotch said, "I have some information about the trial. The victims will be taking the stand on Wednesday, one week from today. You will be included in them."

"When does the team testify?" Reid asked.

"The day before. Monday is opening statements and presentation of the case. Tuesday Morgan, JJ, Prentiss, and I will tell it how we see it. Hopefully we'll be able to get in good words for you then."

"Why would you need to?"

Hotch frowned, "Though Chester Reynolds is most likely going for an insanity plea, the defence is still going to make a point at showing that Chester has a reason for every person he took, and that it wasn't random. That in his delusional state he thought he was cleaning up the world."

"And he took me because I was on drugs." Reid filled in the blanks.

Hotch nodded, "That can't come out during the trial, so we have to figure out how to work around it without lying. The lives of the other victims aren't secrets, whether they cheated on their spouse, beat their spouse, or did drugs, someone else knows about it, and the defence can easily gather that information and diminish their testimony for those reasons. Especially the drug users. The jury will be told not to trust their account of things because they're perception is skewed. You're an FBI agent turned victim, if we can keep your former problem silent then yours will be the most valued testimony of all."

"I'm aware of that, Hotch." Reid said. "I know no one I was with will say anything."

"How do you know that?" Morgan asked.

"They told me. Jessica promised they'd never say a word, as their way of paying me back."

"They can't lie on the stand any more than we can." Hotch said.

"I know that. I told her I wasn't going to ask her to lie for me, and all she said was that I didn't have to ask, she was telling me that was what they'd do." Reid shrugged. "Hopefully they won't be posed with that question." There were a few moments of silence before Reid broke it, "So how did the bust go, yesterday. Get anything good?"

"We can't really tell you much, but if you're referring to Alexander Connors, no, he got out a hidden back way." Hotch explained.

"Oh." Reid said. "That's too bad. I… I really hoped you would get him."

Morgan nodded, "We did too, man. After everything he put you through, I really wanted to get my hands on him."

"So if you didn't get him, what did you get?" Reid asked, taking the focus off himself again.

"The downstairs had been cleared almost spotless in the time it took us to get there. The second floor was a lot more interesting." Hotch said looking over at Gideon.

Gideon nodded, "Prentiss and I, along with our team of officers raided the upstairs. Two sets of rooms, one set numbered 31 through 45. Lavishly furnished and full of any amenities one might need. The other, numbered 1 through 15… they were bad. Just a dirty mattress on a frame and a bucket in the corner. The doors locked from the outside and the occupants were all left for us in the raid. The man in room twelve was barely alive when we got there, and he died shortly afterwards."

Reid frowned, "I have no idea what that's about. The good rooms though, my best bet would be his drop boys. Makes sense he'd keep them close, and treat them well. But this obviously wasn't his main place of operation, 31 through 45 means he probably has at least two other buildings somewhere. His drop boys are always referred to by their number, which probably corresponds with the room number."

"That's good Reid, that'll help." Hotch said. "So, what happened yesterday after he found the device on you?"

Reid frowned, "Nothing happened. One of his guys hit me, and then he was talking to me, warning me of something but I really don't remember what. And then the alarms started going off, I didn't see where he went when he left. When I finally got my head together I retraced my steps till I got to you. That's all I remember."

"Are you sure, Reid?" Morgan asked.

"Yes I'm sure! Are you calling me a liar!?" Reid snapped.

"Whoa, just chill kid, I'm not calling you anything. I just want to make sure we have the whole story." Morgan said in defence.

"Well you have all I know, so just leave! All of you! Get out of my home and leave me alone. Please." Reid said, his voice softening, almost pleading, at the end.

Gideon, Hotch, and Morgan shared a sad look before Gideon nodded. "If that's what you want Spencer, we'll go." he said standing and walking towards the hallway. Morgan and Hotch followed suit. Reid didn't even get up to see them to the door.

The three men stood in the open doorway. Gideon on the inside, a little reluctant to leave. "He'll be alright." he said, more to assure himself than the others.

Morgan shook his head, "Don't kid yourself, Gideon. He is far from alright."

Hotch nodded in agreement and said, "We don't really know what went on in those 20 minutes we didn't have audio. We just know what he's told us, which isn't much, and only have what little evidence we collected. He shuts us out every time we turn the focus on him." Morgan fell silent, studying the floor.

Gideon sighed, "I don't want to leave him." He glanced back over his shoulder.

"Jason, we have to respect his wishes. Let's go." Hotch said.

Gideon nodded reluctantly and crossed the threshold, letting the heavy door swing shut behind him. Morgan looked up and put a hand on the door before the latch clicked, "You guys go, I'll be right there. I think I forgot something." He waited for their knowing nods, and watched them walk away before he re-entered the apartment. He walked down the hall and knelt down in front of Reid's chair, looking up at him. "Reid, buddy, if something happened with him that you don't want to tell us, I get that. But I need to make sure you know you can tell me anything."

"I know, now please leave." Reid said not making eye contact.

"Reid, if he did anything against your will, then it wasn't your fault. We won't blame you for it. And you don't have to deal with it alone."

"Morgan, please, just go. I don't want to talk okay!" Reid started to get a little more anxious.

Morgan noticed the shift and nodded, "He did, didn't he? He forced the drugs on you."

Reid turned his head quickly to look at Morgan, confusion and relief in his eyes, "How… how did you know?"

"I think we all sort of suspected, why do you think Gideon came to check on you today? Given the evidence in the room you were in, a used needle and a tourniquet thrown in the fireplace, it wasn't hard to assume what happened. The only thing not found was the drug itself." Morgan explained.

Reid nodded, "Probably took it with him. No sense in wasting a perfectly good product, you know."

"Yeah," Morgan said, "I know. And you know you could have told us."

This time Reid shook his head, "No I couldn't. I know how important my testimony is, and if you knew I used again I wouldn't be allowed to. I know Hotch wouldn't let me."

"That's not true, Reid. Not in this case anyway, because you didn't want it. It was forced on you, and you couldn't help it. You won't get in trouble for that."

The corner of Reid's mouth twitched in an attempt at a smile, "Really?"

"Yes, really. And if I know you like I think I do, you did your best to fight it."

A nod, "Mm hmm, and I have the bruises to prove it." Reid said, hugging himself.

Morgan frowned, "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'll be alright anyway."

"May I look?" Morgan asked.

Reid shrugged and slid his housecoat off his shoulders. The shirt he wore underneath was short sleeved so it wasn't hard to show off the bruises on his upper arm. Clear hand and finger marks from where he was held down. Flashes of memory came back to him and he blinked away the tears.

Morgan looked up at him, "It's okay, Reid. He won't hurt you like that anymore."

"He's still out there Morgan, and he still wants me." Reid said.

"What do you mean?"

"Two things I remember him saying are 'if you're not loyal to me now, you will be when I'm done' and 'they're taking you from me'. He won't give me up without a fight, and I don't know why."

"Because you're priceless." Morgan smiled. "You have people who care about you and will do anything to help you. If he can tear you down, he'll tear us down too, the more people that are hurt the happier he is."

Reid nodded, "I can't let him do that. Not to you guys."

"Don't let him do it to you either. You're worth more than that."

"Heh, thanks Morgan." Reid said.

"It's the truth, Reid. You're always trying so hard to please us, and to be strong. Gideon didn't say much when he talked to Hotch this morning, but from what we understood you were having withdrawals pretty bad."

"Could have been worse. Probably will get worse. I have a feeling this is the calm before the storm."

Morgan nodded, "But you're strong. You wanted to get through it on your own, and not involve us."

"Yeah, and you know what, I'm not really even mad he forced the drugs on me, and he gave me a lot more than I'd ever give myself. What upsets me most is that I was so close to my goal and now I have to start all over again."

"Not all over, Reid. Just back a couple steps. And you'll do it, I know you will." Morgan smiled.

"Thanks." Reid said.

"No problem, kid." Morgan said, standing up. "I should get going. I'm sure they're waiting for me."

Reid nodded, "Tell Gideon… Tell him he's welcome to stop by in the morning."

"I will." Morgan smiled. "Catch you later." he said, reaching over and tousling Reid's hair. Reid smacked his hand away and glared, which only made Morgan laugh. "Have a good night." he said before leaving the apartment.

Down in the parking lot Hotch and Gideon gave him anxious looks as he approached. "Well?" Gideon's voice was deeply worried.

Morgan smiled, "He's gonna be just fine. He admitted Connors forced drugs on him."

Hotch and Gideon visibly relaxed. "Good, I just wish he'd have told us in the first place." Hotch said.

"He was scared. He didn't want to loose his chance at bringing Reynolds down by not being able to testify. But he's okay now, and he says you're welcome to stop by in the morning." Morgan said turning to Gideon.

Gideon smiled, "I'll do that."

Hotch, though relieved Reid wasn't keeping anything from them anymore, was still unconvinced, "He's not okay, Morgan. He's far from okay, and I really don't know if what we're doing is best for him."

"Would you rather we lock him up? Not, Hotch, he's doing fine, leave him be." Morgan argued.

Hotch frowned, shaking his head, but didn't argue. Gideon sighed, realising it would be another sleepless night for all of them as they worried about Reid's welfare and the course of action they were, or weren't, taking with him.