Special thanks goes to mrstwister712 for sharing her experiences with me about being pregnant and hormonally impaired. :)

As always, much appreciation and love to my team of lovely ladies, my beta, Berlywood, misticbutterfly and mrstwister712.

I do not own Twilight or any of the Characters created by Stephenie Meyer

Chapter 26 –36 weeks

BPOV

In recent weeks, I could feel I was developing more of a bitchy streak. I knew everyone meant well, but I was so, so tired of answering the same questions. How are you feeling? When are you due? Do you know what it is? Do you have a name picked out? Are you excited? Is this your first? I fantasized about wearing a t-shirt that said, "April 29th. It's a boy. Now please fuck off."

The combination of being completely uncomfortable and lying awake at night going over my worries prevented me from getting the rest I needed. It felt like I had five pounds of water around each ankle and I battled some serious heartburn, aches, pains and occasional cramps. It seemed impossible to get comfortable sitting, standing, or lying in one position for more than a few minutes at a time, and I had difficulty finding the right position for sleep. Yesterday my stomach muscles hurt so much that I wondered for a minute if I was in labor. It could have been anything, but I thought Max was just growing again since it went away after a few hours.

This morning, after what felt like no sleep at all, Edward was in his usual place lying next to me, eagerly waiting for me to start my day with him. Without giving him a morning kiss, I rushed out of bed to pee, for the millionth time, and when I stepped back into the bedroom, he made a comment saying that it looked like I was carrying twins. In an instant, an evil personality possessed me, and I snapped back at him, "If I wanted you to tell me how fat I am, I would ask!" No sooner had the words left my mouth, I could see their effects on Edward's face. Every rational molecule had left my body, and the only thing that Edward could do to save himself from me was to go hunting with Carlisle.

That wasn't the first time my hormones got the best of me, and I hated that I had no control over them. I was so ridiculously in love with Edward, but I thought I was really heading into an ugly couple of weeks, literally and figuratively speaking. Between my swollen body and heinous disposition, he needed to be spared because I still wanted to have a husband when this was all over.

After my shower, I went upstairs to Edward's old bedroom and surrounded myself with his things. The room held so many memories and I ran my fingers over Edward's journals that kept all his secrets and feelings safe. My head was swimming with so many thoughts, that I hoped sitting there I would find some answers to the questions that I had been battling over regarding my role as Max's mother and Edward's wife.

When you're a part of the beginning of a life, you can't avoid thinking about the end of life. Thoughts about my own mortality consumed my brain. I wasn't the youngest generation anymore, my replacement would soon be arriving, and if I didn't become a vampire, I would die before my child dies. I felt like didn't have the right to die anymore, because I always wanted to be here for both the men in my life.

My main concern was if Max's childhood would suffer if I chose to become a vampire instead of remaining human to raise him. Was I being selfish wanting to become immortal?

Over the past months, I had countless conversations with Renee as she tried to prepare me for motherhood. She constantly stressed how much work having a baby would be, but not one word on how to be a good mother. I was more worried about what kind of mother I would be, than with diaper changes and feeding schedules. Rosalie was excited about helping me with Max and Esme was also looking forward to doing motherly duties for my son. Max would be well taken care of in that department.

I felt I needed to talk to Esme about becoming a mother and a vampire because she had experienced both, and I had a strong feeling that she could help me with my dilemma. Esme became a mother when she was human, and I wanted to ask her questions about how she felt existing as a vampire. I went looking for Esme and I found her out in the backyard planting irises in the garden.

"Esme, can I talk to you?" I had never had a heart-to-heart talk with Esme before and I was nervous.

"Sure Bella, what's on your mind?" Esme wore a cute sun hat and gardening gloves as she knelt down on the ground digging in the dirt. She loved her garden and her family and I hoped she would provide me with the answers I was searching for.

"I'm struggling."

"Struggling? What do you mean dear?"

"Max is coming soon and I don't know how to be his mother." My mouth became dry and that made it difficult for me to continue.

Esme put down her trowel, stood up and gave me all of her attention. "I remember what it was like when I carried my baby. I was also afraid that I wouldn't know how to be a mother."

"What did you do?"

"What came naturally…having a baby is amazing and you will be surprised what you will experience."

"You know I love Edward and I want to stay with him forever…could I do it as a vampire?"

"Bella, I didn't become a vampire by choice, but when I did change, I knew how to love and I have never forgotten what it was like to be human."

"Do you think I could raise Max as a vampire?"

"I think you'll be a wonderful mother no matter what you decide. Have you talked to Edward?"

My thoughts went back to this morning and my irrational outburst I had with him. "He said he would support whatever I decided, but I think we need to talk more."

"Bella, when the baby is born, you and Edward will encounter feelings that you can't prepare yourself for. Once you see your baby, you will have a better understanding on how you want to proceed." Esme wrapped her arms around me and gave me a hug and bent back down to finish her gardening.

"Thanks, you helped me a lot." I walked into the house and proceeded to find something to snack on. It seemed as if I was constantly craving something to eat or running to the bathroom. Maybe Alice had a vision that would help me understand what I needed to do.

"Hey Bella," Alice skipped into the kitchen. "Do you need to talk to me?"

"I'm not going to ask how you knew," my head was pounding from all my thoughts that were bouncing around in my brain.

"Are you still worried about changing?"

"YES." I didn't know how much longer I could stand the stress of not knowing what choice I should make.

"I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that no matter what you choose to do, Max is going to grow up and leave you to have a life of his own. That will happen whether you are a vampire or not."

"I never thought of it that way." I never gave any thought that once Max was a man, he would no longer need me and I would be old, dealing with an empty nest and a beautiful young-looking husband.

"Talk to Edward," Alice took my hand. "Trust me, you'll do the right thing."

"I trust you." Alice was never wrong and I knew it was up to me to decide.

"Oh, and your water is going to break at 6:08 pm on April 29th. Jasper wants to offer his help to get you through your labor."

"You could see that?" The actuality of Max's birth gave me a little bit of a shudder. I was a bit of a chicken when it came to thinking about the actual birth of my son.

"You won't be alone, we will all be there for you, and Jasper will really make a difference for you." Alice beamed, talking to me about her man.

"That's so sweet…" Jasper's calming ability was going to be extremely helpful dealing with my fear and labor pains.

"Bella honey, talk to Edward."

"I will." Alice kissed my cheek and skipped out of the kitchen. I missed Edward and I hoped he forgave my outburst earlier this morning, and would be coming home soon so we could have a conversation.

EPOV

I had a hard time processing Bella's irrational behavior, and I wanted to talk to Carlisle alone, so I asked him to join me on my hunt. All my years of medical school and reading had never prepared me for what I was dealing with now. I was hoping that Carlisle would give me some advice on how to get through the next several weeks.

We went up the northern slope of the woods together, and I didn't say much until we hit the deepest part of the forest. Carlisle could always sense when I was having a hard time dealing with something.

Troubles with Bella, son?

"Yes, everything I don't do should have already been done, and everything I do, should be done differently, and everything I did should never have been done in the first place. Clear as mud? Because yes, apparently I'm a useless piece of shit that doesn't understand anything!" I raked my fingers through my hair in frustration.

"You have to understand Edward, Bella's hormones are in intense overdrive. All her insecurities in regards to handling new child, being able to support it, the changes in her body, they are taking over her rationality." Carlisle patted my back firmly trying to make me feel better about my situation.

"How am I supposed to understand this? What do I need to do?"

"In all the years of my existence, I don't think we will ever understand what a woman experiences, but I do know it won't last," Carlisle smiled and his levity wasn't making me feel any better about my situation. "You just need to stay by Bella's side and don't take anything personally."

"So continue to give her everything she needs, and just try to get through this the best I can?"

"I believe you have it in you, it's all part of life Edward. You're experiencing something most of us never will, and you'll look back on this time and cherish it."

"I know, you're right." I made my resolve that I would do everything I could to get Bella and I through the next few weeks while we waited for Max to be born.

"Let's grab a bite and head back home." Carlisle launched himself into the wooded area and I was close behind him, smelling a small herd of elk not far away.

Carlisle and I fed until we were full and raced back to the house. I felt anxious, as we got closer to the house, not knowing what to expect when I walked through the door. I bought myself some time by running upstairs to jump into the shower and clean up before I would look for Bella.

I was standing in the middle of our bedroom with only my jeans on, looking through my drawer for a clean shirt, when Bella found me. I didn't want to start the conversation out of fear I might say the wrong thing, so I just stood there as she stared at me across the room.

"I am so, so sorry for snapping at you this morning," Bella looked at me sadly with dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep. "I'm possessed."

"Bella, what can I do to help this from not happening again?" I was willing to do anything to keep the peace between us, even if that meant I had to go hunting everyday to give her some space.

"You're already helpful and doing everything right, I'm just as confused by this as you are," Bella hung her head. "Do you forgive me?"

"Of course I do," I stepped towards her to put my arms around her. "I love you more than you will ever know."

"I love you too and I give you permission to disregard anything hurtful I may say because I really don't mean any of it." Bella pressed her cheek against my chest. "Will you lay with me and hold me for a little while?"

"I would love to," I helped Bella into bed and she rested her head on my bare chest allowing her hair to drape over my skin. Max's heart was beating strongly and everything seemed right in the world again.

BPOV

"Be thankful you can't hear my thoughts right now, they are so jumbled and crazy." I knew Edward was struggling with trying to figure me out, but this was one time I think he was lucky not to know everything.

"You should clear your head and try to rest." Edward stroked my hair trying to calm me.

"I spent the morning trying to reach a decision about becoming a vampire." I could feel Edward's stomach muscles tense because he still had a strong reaction regarding the subject.

"You did?"

"I spoke to Esme hoping she would give me some insight on being a mother and how she felt about being a vampire. She told me that my instincts would kick in regarding being a mother and when I asked her about becoming a vampire, she said that I would be able to make the choice once the baby was born," I caressed Edward's stomach hoping to soothe him from tensing up more. "Then I tried talking to Alice, hoping she had a vision she would share with me to help me with my indecision, and all she would tell me was that I would make the right choice."

"Was anything they had to say helpful?" Edward wrapped his arm tighter over me.

"I think so, I think we both have to wait and see what Max is going to need from us." Edward sighed releasing the tension that was building in his body. I was too exhausted to think about it anymore today. "Alice said my water would break on the 29th around 6 pm."

"Max is going to be on time," Edward smiled and it warmed my heart that he was so excited. "We are going to be totally prepared, aren't we?"

"Yes we will…" I struggled to pull myself up towards Edward's beautiful face so I could kiss him. As our lips pressed together he opened his mouth and I skimmed my tongue over Edward's razor sharp teeth to remind myself of what he really was, and I still felt the same uncontrollable desire for him and wanting to be like him. He gently pushed my tongue back with his so he could explore my mouth.

I drew my fingers through his hair and caressed his hard jaw while we continued to kiss and hold each other. Max moved and I had to shift, "Let me help you get comfortable so you can get some sleep." Edward sat up and moved me so that I was leaning back on his chest and he supported my stomach with his arm taking some of the pressure off. I tilted my head to rest on his shoulder and without another word I was able to fall asleep.

OoOoOoOoOo

With Edward's help I was able to sleep longer and more comfortably lying in his arms. I was getting my rest and it helped with my mood swings, and we both tried hard to understand each other during my episodes.

Since Alice predicted when the water would break, Carlisle made sure he was on duty and we had a private room reserved. The next several days were spent preparing my hospital bag and practicing timing contractions. Carlisle required me to come into his office weekly to track my dilation and to measure me. At my last appointment, Carlisle was able to determine that Max was head down and in perfect position for birth.

I spent the morning in the nursery folding and reorganizing all the clothing and blankets. Between Alice and Rose's shopping sprees, Max seemed to have an outfit for every single day until he turned ten. Esme had done a wonderful job decorating. We had decided on painting the walls different shades of blue, and Esme had drawn and hand-painted the wall where the crib would be with a silhouette scene in white of a little boy sitting in a tree holding a string to a smiling crescent moon with a long kite tail. Edward and I selected a convertible crib in a sleigh design so Max could grow into it. The furniture was all in cherry wood, with a loveseat for Edward to lounge on. Next to it was a comfy over-stuffed glider with an ottoman waiting for me to use while nursing or rocking Max to sleep. The room was perfect, but I still had an uncontrollable desire to clean and organize.

Rose joined me in the nursery and brought me a plate with some peanut butter and a sliced apple. I sat down on the glider and she sat on the ottoman at my feet to watch me eat.

"Did we forget anything?" Rose was proud of everything she had accomplished and it was written all over her face.

"I don't think it's possible to have forgotten anything. It's like the Smithsonian of baby things in this room."

"It is pretty amazing, isn't it?'

"Max is one lucky little boy." I began to eat my apple while Rose shifted uncomfortably on the ottoman. "What's on your mind?"

"Alice told me you were having second thoughts about changing. If it's none of my business you can tell me to shut up."

"No…I'm interested in your opinion." I was still indecisive about my future.

"I don't want to rehash the issues I had about the subject, but my perspective has changed," Rose shifted again and faced me directly. "I'm not capable of having my own child, but thanks to you allowing me to be with you during your pregnancy, I came to the realization that I still have my maternal instincts. It has answered a lot of my own questions that I have been struggling with for many years."

"Do you think I can be Max's mother as a vampire?"

"I feel confidant that Max will be completely safe in this family and he'll grow up to be a strong man."

"I have no doubt that Max will be safe." Rose hadn't answered my question.

"Bella, you and Edward are a team, and your love is something that is meant to last. I can't imagine not being with my Emmett," Rose took my hand. "I won't tell you what choice you should make, but in my opinion, I think you are capable of succeeding at being a vampire and a mother. You can count on me to help you with whatever decision you make."

"Thank you," I pulled Rose's hand towards me so I could hug her. "I think I know what I'm going to do, I'm waiting until I meet Max and once we get an idea what it's going to be like with him in our lives, I will make my decision."

"Sounds like you have a plan." Rose seemed relieved with my answer. "I can't thank you enough for allowing me to experience this with you."

"I welcome it."

EPOV

I stood in the hallway and listened in on the conversation between my wife and sister. I knew Bella was still struggling about her decisions, and I could feel everything Rose was thinking regarding our baby and how in love she was with the idea of taking care of our son. Everyone's minds were buzzing about the baby lately, even Emmett and Jasper were looking forward to the new adventure ahead of us.

"May I interrupt?" I stepped into the nursery. Bella seemed stuck in the glider as I went over to kiss her.

"Just in time…you can help me up so I can go take my nap." Bella smiled and reached up to me for help.

Rose stood to make her exit. "I have been neglecting my husband, maybe he'll be up for a hunt."

"Thank you for the snack and talking with me. It was nice."

Rose looked over her shoulder and smiled at Bella, "It was nice." She left the room leaving us alone.

"Now that Max's things are neatly tucked away, it's your turn." I helped Bella to her feet.

"Remember, I'm meeting Jake for an early dinner."

"Do you want me to drive you?" I approved of Bella's relationship with Jacob, he had proved that he was protective of her, and I trusted his friendship.

"I think I can still fit behind the wheel of your car." Bella laughed. The weather had been warming up and I didn't have to worry about the ice much anymore.

"If you get too tired, call me and I'll come get you." We settled in bed together.

"Edward?" Bella's sweet voice called out to me as I tried to help her get in a position she could sleep.

"Yes, love."

"One thing we haven't talked about is if you are going to be in the delivery room with me."

"I know you need me there, and I'm going to try." I had thought about it a lot. I had been around Bella's blood recently when Sam tried to attack her and I had controlled myself completely. My priorities were solid, and there was a strong possibility I could be with my wife when my son was born.

"Jasper will be there to help calm the situation and Carlisle will be right by your side.

"I love you and I need to be there." I was going to make every effort to stand by Bella's side and hold her hand, Carlisle would be close enough to pull me out of the room if I needed help. "I promise you I will do everything possible to be with you."

"I know I can count on you," Bella pulled on my shirt so that I would get closer. "I am so in love with you…kiss me."

I curled up along side her and slowly kissed her full warm lips. Bella's free hand stroked my face and we continued to taste and pull on each other's tongues lovingly. I know that Bella had been uncomfortable and dealing with a lot of painful issues, so I rubbed her back and her feet knowing it would make her happy. I just wanted to be near her, touching her.

After Bella relaxed, I helped her reposition herself so that she could take her nap as I watched over her.

BPOV

After my nap, I drove the Volvo to La Push to meet Jacob for dinner at a place called 'The Rivers Edge', that was owned by the tribe and had an amazing view of the La Push harbor. Jacob was waiting for me at the front door, dressed casually and looking handsome. We greeted each other with a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. I loved how warm his skin felt and the familiar scent of him. We sat at a table for two and I ordered a root beer and decided on a hamburger and French fries.

"Mark your calendar, the baby is going to come April 29th, or at least I'll be going into labor."

"Wow Bells, that's soon."

"Hard to believe huh?

"You're going to be a mom…" Jacob's sentence trailed off as I caught him staring at me in with a look of disbelief on his face.

"It's weird to think I'm going to be someone's mom in a couple of weeks." I was in a bit of denial myself.

"We both have grown up this past year." Jake looked sentimental as the waitress brought us our food.

"We most certainly have. I couldn't have done it without you." Jake saved my life in more ways than that night outside Newton's Outfitters. I wouldn't have made it this far without him. Jacob inhaled his food as usual, as I continued to pick at the fries on my plate. "Are you going back to school?"

"Yeah, I'm planning on going back in the fall. I can control my shifts and I won't be far if the tribe should need me," Jake took another large bite of his food. "Things have calmed down and the pack can manage without me for a few months."

"Once you graduate, will you come back to lead the tribe?"

"It was what I was born to do." I could tell by the expression on Jake's face he was proud and happy with the future that was ahead of him.

"We'll need to move soon before people begin to notice that the Cullen's aren't aging." I played with the straw in my glass. "I figure within six months."

"What about Charlie?"

"He is still dating Melinda and he is really happy, so I don't have to worry about him being lonely anymore. I wanted him to have a relationship with his grandson, so I'll have to figure something out."

"He's a smart man Bella, aren't you worried he'll figure it all out?"

"I'm sure the truth will have to come out one day," I reached over and touched Jake's hand. "Jake, you're the only person outside of the family that knows the truth about everything. I hope I can count on you if I ever need your help in the future with either Charlie or my son."

"Bella you know you can always count on me." Jake smiled at my invitation to remain in our lives.

We hung around long enough to split a dessert and when we said our good-byes, I knew I would be seeing Jake at the hospital on the 29th.

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