Half Baked

Chapter 26

"Arthur?"

"Oliver, it's Alfred—don't hang up!"

Oliver gripped his phone and sneered. "You're using Arthur's phone to call me?"

Al's eyes snapped up from his soda to see a displeased frown etched into Oliver's cheeks. Oliver gave him a dismissive wave, indicating that he could handle whatever crap he'd have to deal with.

"Well, yeah, you hung up on me whenever I tried to use my phone."

"Oh?"

"Yes," Alfred answered flatly, "You did. Twice."

Oliver clicked his tongue. "Get to the point. You're using up my minutes."

Alfred took in a breath, and his reason fell from his lips in seconds: "Arthur and I wanna invite you and Al to my parents' lake house for a couple days."

Oliver paused, stunned, before letting out a slightly sarcastic and short-lived laugh. "Yes, Arthur's mentioned that to me. I'm very much in favor of being there for Arthur. You, on the other hand…"

'Alfred?' Al mouthed.

Oliver nodded.

"I get it. I know." Alfred sighed.

Al reached a hand out to Oliver, wordlessly asking for his phone.

Oliver shook his head.

"I know you hate me."

"Well—"

"Let me finish," Alfred cut off Oliver, intending to continue his thought.

Oliver rolled his eyes, but went silent nonetheless.

"I… Don't blame you."

Oliver's eyes widened ever so slightly.

"I used you to figure out if Arthur still liked me. I lied to you, too. And I sorta threw you aside as soon as I got what I wanted." Alfred's voice trailed off as he grew more ashamed of his past actions. "And for all that shit—"

Oliver winced.

"—I'm sorry."

Oliver looked to Al with shock. He pointed to his phone before tapping on it. Al attempted to mouth his questions, but Oliver gave him another wave to cut off their silent, miming conversation.

"I'm sure it felt bad to get tossed away like that, so yeah."

"Well, Alfred," Oliver began as he pressed a hand against the table he and Al sat at, "that's very big of you to come forth and apologize to me about being such a jerk before."

Al's mouth hung open, and he shook his head while trying to hold back a laugh.

Oliver nodded slowly with a half-smile.

"Um, yeah, I guess. But. Yeah. So. Sorry about all that."

"Mhm."

The line wandered into silence.

"… So… Do you forgive me?"

"I'll work on it. Maybe by the time we make it up to your parents' lake house, I'll have forgiven you."

Al's eyes widened, and so many questions hung on the tip of his tongue.

Alfred sighed, "Alright. I'll text you the address. Could you tell Al?"

"He knows. He's right here listening in."

The line went silent on Alfred's end. "… Could you hand the phone over to him?"

"Ha—" Oliver let out a brief laugh, "absolutely not."

Alfred continued to drag his feet through the conversation, dreading where he was trying to take it. "Please. I…want to apologize to him, too."

Oliver watched Al with shock in his eyes. "… Allen, are you against speaking with Alfred currently?"

Al's eyebrows pulled together as he nodded with a disbelieving smile.

"He just apologized to me; he might be civil."

Al shook his head regardless.

Alfred let out a frustrated scoff at the lack of conversation. "Just put me on speakerphone. He doesn't have to talk. He just has to listen."

Oliver rolled his eyes as he pulled his phone away from his ear and put Alfred on speaker phone.

Al read Arthur's name on the screen. "You're stealing his phone now?"

"No, shut up. I just needed to borrow it. It's not locked anyway. I didn't break into it."

Al propped his jaw up with a hand. "Stay out of Arthur's privacy. He needs it."

"Oh my god," Alfred groaned, and took a moment to calm down. "I'm sorry. Okay?"

"You should be apologizing to Arthur, not me."

"What? No, no. I meant…" Alfred winced as he thought back to his moment of childish behavior. "Sorry for what I said. For the…" He let out a heavy sigh. "The 'I win' bullshit—"

"Language," Al muttered.

"—It was rude, stupid, and kid-ish. And I kinda wanted to shove it in your face. But it was stupid. Really stupid. So… I'm sorry for the falling out between you and Arthur. I…" Alfred let out a frustrated huff. "I don't know what I was thinking. I just wanted to get you mad or some shit."

Al winced and gave Oliver an apologetic smile. "Yeah, it was rude, stupid, and manipulative. But whatever."

"…So… Forgive me?"

"Sure."

"Sure? It sounds like you don't forgive me."

"Yeah, it's a lie, but whatever. I'll forgive you whenever Oliver does."

"…Alright. Cool. I'll text Oliver the address. Or Arthur will."

"Cool."

Oliver and Al stared at Oliver's phone, waiting for Alfred to get any other inane thing off his mind. Alfred remained silent on his end.

"…So, uh… Anything you wanna tell me?"

Oliver and Al's eyes met, and they briefly pondered what pointless drivel Alfred wanted to hear.

"Nope," Al answered, "bye." He tapped the red phone button on Oliver's phone to hang up. Once the call dropped, Al let out a groan. "I can't believe that. Can you?"

"Which thing? I counted at least four." Oliver set his phone down on the table. "Oh, before we get into it, though, I can't believe Alfred was fishing for an apology."

"That's what he was doing?"

"Yes, you couldn't tell? Calling mostly to apologize to us and then expecting us to say something? I believe he was fishing for an apology for that beating you gave him."

Al let out a laugh. "He's not getting one. I don't regret it. But I meant like…" He took a sip of his soda before resting the can on a coaster. "Apologizing to me for trying to get me mad, but… It just went deeper than that?"

"Yes, what was that?"

"I never told you?"

Oliver shook his head and ran his fingers against his mug of hot chocolate. "Go on, tell me." He smiled, eager to hear the drama Al encountered.

"Okay—" Al stood up and took a few steps away from the kitchen table. "Picture this. So." He stood in the kitchen doorway. "I knocked on Arthur's door, and Alfred opened up. I was already gonna kick his butt, but then he said some junk like— Oh. Wait. Sorry in advance. For language." Al corrected his form by leaning a shoulder against the kitchen doorway, and a lop-sided smile appeared on his face. "Hey," he used his best Alfred voice, "came to bitch about how I won?"

Oliver coughed and covered his mouth, staring at Al with wide eyes. "He didn't."

Al fell out of character and threw up his arms. "He did! The suave mother—screw…er. The jerk! Okay, okay, so. Naturally, I saw red so I decked him." He punched the air to give Oliver a replay of the scene.

"Naturally."

"So like. He fell down and looked like a middle school bully who got stood up to. I closed the door and said something cool, I bet."

"What, you don't know?"

"Red, Oliver, red."

"Ah. Yes."

"Pretty sure I told him to leave Arthur alone, because I was sick of him shoving his stupid, dirty hands into Arthur's business, y'know?" Al returned to his place at the table and took another sip of his soda as Oliver gave him a hum in acknowledgement. Al spoke softly after spending his frustrated excitement just seconds before, "He kept trying to make it about who was closer to Arthur or who controlled him or some crap. And it just…made me angrier. So like. He just called to apologize…to us."

Oliver's chin lifted as realization filled his eyes. "He keeps treating Arthur like an object."

"Yeah, it's weird that he'd apologize to me about provoking me, but… I don't know. I feel like he'd talk about it all different if he actually apologized to Arthur."

"Maybe he already apologized to Arthur?"

"Yeah, see, I don't know. I don't want to say he hasn't if he has, and if he has, I can't tell." Al shrugged and tapped a nail against the soda can. "I'm sure somewhere he's tricking himself into thinking he wants to make it work, but… I'm not seeing the right stuff."

"Arthur's still defensive about him."

"Seriously?"

Oliver took a sip from his hot chocolate and nodded. "Yes. I called Arthur earlier—that's when he invited us to Alfred's parents' lake house—"

"This rich motherfucker."

"Allen."

"Sorry."

Oliver huffed softly. "I called Arthur earlier. Arthur invited us to the lake house. I asked if it'd be alright if we were all in the same room since we're all very aware we didn't leave each other on the most positive of events. Arthur said 'sure, why', and I sort of…skirted around it and went straight to the heart of it. I told him I thought he was being mistreated, and I would rather he just skip it altogether."

"…Skip what?"

"His time in a relationship with Alfred. It's just so obvious that it can't work, and I know that he'll go through a hard time. And I'm just so worried for him. He's going to go through heartache he could avoid right now if he'd just break up with Alfred. He'll waste his time. He'll waste his energy. They both will."

Al frowned and tapped his can against the coaster. "Not everyone sees it like that."

"Sees Alfred and Arthur's relationship as a disaster?"

"Yeah. Well. Sees romance as messy and dumb."

"I didn't say that."

"I think you're leaning that way. It's… I'm not 'taking the piss' or some crap. I'm just. Talking like normal. A lot of people have to go through the motions, because they're not gonna realize a certain relationship's a waste of time otherwise." Al leaned back in his chair and shrugged. "I'm not in a hurry, because I know I'll be there for him when he gets through it—as he goes through it. So. I know your mindset can't take it right now, but like. Motions, y'know?"

Oliver frowned. "I suppose you're right." His expression grew concerned. "Poor Arthur. He'll wake up from it soon, right?"

"Sure."