Author's Note: Long, long, long time without an update on this fic. My sincere apologies for the delay, but I have a damn good excuse! Most of you already know why it took so long. My relationship ended and then, to make things perfect, my brand new Mac crashed completely.

So I was without a computer for over three weeks. I have it back now, but all my Word-files are lost, including several updates on this fan fic. Consequently, I had to retype this entire text in TextEditor (no spell check), so if there are more typo's and grammar mistakes in this update than usual, blame Apple :P

Dedication: To my newest reviewer WinterLizzy, who's read this entire fic in one afternoon. Respect!

Disclaimer: Ehm…

Twenty-Five: Smells Like Teen Spirit *

Awkward.

If Sirius had to name one word to describe the atmosphere in the room, it would have to be awkward. It was kind of surreal when you thought about it, because typically, his current situation was just one of the many daily activities in the life of an ordinary man. But Sirius was no ordinary man. To him, having dinner with his family was something to remember, if not cherish.

It was the first night the four of them were having dinner at Mary's cabin. The previous nights they had eaten at the main house, together with everyone else. By now everyone was used to Sirius's presence on Borboleta. The first moments had been very uncomfortable; after Roberto had finished his speech, people were staring from every direction but did not come up to him to ask questions. It was only after another few days that he started to feel more welcome, when - aside from Jonathan and Fiona - Sayid and Butch invited him to sit at their table. Sirius instantly knew he and the Iranian man were never really going to hit it off, but considering they would be working together, it was good to know they could tolerate each other at the very least.

Tonight was the first time he and his family - family, it still felt weird to think about them that way - were having a private dinner, which had been his idea. Things were still pretty testy between Mary and Erin; Sirius had hoped eating like a real family might lighten things up a little, but so far, no one was laughing. In fact, they were all dead silent. Mary had just served the first course (veal-tea), which he really liked, but it did not seem to be up to everyone's taste.

When Mary was refilling her glass with white elf-wine, Erin reached for the saltcellar and started adding salt to her soup. One shake, two shakes, three... And it didn't look like she was about to stop anytime soon. This of course did not go by unnoticed. "Erin," Mary said as she slowly lowered the carafe, "what are you doing?"

"I don't taste anything," she replied while adding another shake of salt.

Sirius could hear Mary grinding her teeth next to him. "That is quite enough salt."

Erin did not say anything but continued to shake the saltcellar nevertheless. Up and down, up and down.

Oliver was following the scene with a fascinated look on his face and Sirius started to wonder if he should say anything about this, but Mary seemed perfectly capable of handling this on her own. "Erin," she said, not even trying to hide her annoyance, "put the salt down. Now."

Her daughter added one last shake of salt with a flourish before putting the cellar back down. Then she looked up and shot her mother a challenging look, but Mary did not even flinch. "Well?" she demanded. "Go on."

Erin blinked. "But-"

"You thought your soup tasted of nothing before? Well, I'm sure it will taste like something now."

Oliver sniggered, but Mary silenced him too with a single look. "Erin, eat your soup."

At first Erin expected her mother to stop her at one point, but when that moment didn't come, she gingerly lifted a spoonful of her salted soup and put it in her mouth. She immediately pulled a face before swallowing it down with watery eyes. She wiped her mouth and looked at her mother again.

"Tasty?" Mary asked sweetly.

"'s Fine," Erin gasped.

"I'm glad to hear it, because you are going to eat it all."

Both Erin and Oliver looked at her with big eyes and even Sirius thought this was madness. "Mary..." he said, reaching for her hand under the table.

She ignored him. "Better hurry, love, or it will get cold."

Erin gulped. "But the salt..."

"-Might be a little too much? You should have thought of that before you decided to drain the entire Dead Sea in your soup."

She looked down at her bowl and stirred the content with a miserable look on her face. "Mum..."

"You can beg all you want, young lady, but you're not leaving this table before you've finished your plate."

Erin glared at her and Mary stared back; it was impossible who looked more angry. Then Erin lifted her spoon again and - with a determined look in her eyes - started to eat her soup at top speed. With every spoonful she had to gag and by the end, the tears were literally streaming down her face, but she finished her plate in the end. By then Mary had already conjured a tall glas of water to wash away most of the salt. Erin downed the glass in one go.

"There," Mary said as she cleaned the table with a wave of her wand. "Had enough?"

Erin didn't answer at first. She refilled her glass of water and after finishing that one too, she asked: "Can I be excused?"

Her voice sounded raspy and Sirius felt bad for her. Mary's face on the other hand remained impassive. "I would think so," she said. "Go to your bedroom and stay there."

Erin pushed back her chair and stalked off towards Oliver's room (whose bedroom window wasn't locked by magic), but her mother was onto that, too. "The other bedroom."

Erin looked she was about to explode when she changed direction without another word and entered her own room before banging the door shut.

Needless to say, the rest of their dinner was far from pleasant. Sirius's attempts to lighten the mood with jokes and some funny Marauder-anecdotes he did remember did not work. Oliver listened politely to his stories and even laughed at the right moments, but his eyes kept flashing to his mother at the other end of the table, who was listlessly pushing her duck a l'orange around on her plate.

By the time Sirius was cleaning up the dishes with Oliver in the kitchen and Mary was preparing for work (she was having the nightshift at the hospital), he had given up. The second after Oliver had put the last plate in the magic cabinet, he turned to him. "Can I go back to the beach?"

Sirius was momentarily distracted by a flushed-looking Mary, who had just changed into her uniform. He still didn't understand why wizards didn't wear robes in Brazil, but thought these hospital-uniforms were kinda hot, especially on someone like Mary. "Ehm sure, why not?"

"Awesome, I'll be back by nightfall, I swear. Thanks Sid!"

He groaned, closed his eyes and was about to say something about it, but Oliver was already halfway the door. "Bye mum!"

"Bye," she replied absent-mindedly before putting her large bag on the table and started to chuck in several things at a time.

Sirius watched her silently until he couldn't stay silent any longer. "Are you alright?"

Mary looked up briefly. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You don't look alright."

She sighed while impatiently rummaging through her bag. "Sirius, don't. I'm getting late and- damn it, where is my wand?"

Sirius stepped forward and retrieved the wand right from under the bag. He handed it to her, but did not let go yet. "Talk to me."

She finally looked up and he immediately saw the sadness in her eyes. "What do you want me to say?"

"That scene with Erin, do we need to talk about that?"

"No. Yes." She cringed. "Maybe, but not now."

"Mare, come on..."

Another sigh. "My daughter and I used to go along perfectly, but ever since you showed up she has been a complete pain. Erin was only messing up her soup because she knew I spent hours preparing it. She did it on purpose, Sirius."

"But why?"

"Merlin knows, to bug the hell out of me probably. Well, I've had it with her. Enough is enough."

Sirius cocked his head to the side. "The salt-thing, though..."

She closed her eyes and, not the first time, Sirius noticed how tired and weary she looked. "Was too much, right?"

He merely nodded and she groaned. "I shouldn't have let her eat the entire thing, I know, but... It was too late. I couldn't go back by then."

"Says who?"

"I do." She stared at him, biting her lip. "I would have lost all her respect. At least now..."

"-She was forced to leave without having had a proper supper and is probably as thirsty as a horse?"

Mary rubbed her eyes before heaving another deep sigh. "I see what you mean. Here," she said, grabbing her wand and waving it around so that a plate of smoked beef and cucumber-sandwiches (Erin's favourite) appeared on the table. "I really have to go now."

She turned to leave, but Sirius suddenly pulled her towards him. He could feel her relax slightly in his embrace when he said: "We'll figure this out, love, it's going to be okay."

Mary removed his arms from her waist and swung the handle of her bag over her shoulder. "Yeah," she said morosely, "When you've finally figured out how, give me a Patronus."

Twenty minutes later, while balancing the tray of sandwiches and a glass of lemonade in the air with his wand, Sirius knocked softly on Erin's door. When there was no immediate answer, he decided to open the door anyway. "Psst," he whispered when he reached the bed where Erin was sitting crosslegged with a book on her knees, "Wanna get out of here?"

She looked up, the evening sunlight from the window reflecting on her dark brown hair. "How could we as long as the Wicked Witch of the West still has this room locked like a freaking bastion?"

Sirius laughed and walked towards the window. "Let's just say there are benefits to knowing this Wicked Witch like the back of your hand." He momentarily grabbed hold of the tray with his one hand and used the other to break the spell. "After you."

Erin looked at him increduously, but after another moment, she hopped off the bed and to clamber through the window. Sirius climbed through after her while the tray was floating in the air beside him. When he was standing straight again, he wiped the dust from his pants. "Walk with me."

They crossed several meadows until they reached the path that would lead them deeper into the forest. Sirius wondered if Erin knew it was quite risky to get so close to the border of the property, but if she did, she was determined not to show she was afraid. She didn't need to worry, though; Sirius had no intention to go all the way to the border or bring his daughter in any danger. He stopped walking when they were standing on the edge of a flowery field. The late evening sun was making the pink flowers appear almost purple. Sirius sat down on a nearby tree stump and after another moment, Erin followed.

He put the tray down between them. "I reckon you must be pretty hungry by now."

Erin cleared her throat. "Thirsty, more like."

"Ah, I took care of that, too." He handed the glass of lemonade over and watched her drink for a moment. "So how are you?"

Erin shrugged and reached for a sandwich. "Smoked beef and cucumber?" she said in surprise. "How did you know that?"

"I didn't. Your mother prepared them for you."

"Oh." Her face fell slightly.

Sirius stared ahead and spotted a herd of deer ahead. "Look," he whispered while pointing to the other end of the field.

Erin followed his finger and gasped. "Wow, they're so pretty!" She chuckled. "You know, when he was about seven years old, Oliver found a young deer once. Its mother had left him and he was about to die. So Oliver took care of it, wouldn't leave its side. Mum wasn't too happy about it, but he was determined to make him live. Of course he didn't have a clue what he was doing, so only when Fabio helped him did it work. They released the healthy deer together a few months later." She smiled at the memory. "So cute."

He had been fascinated by Erin's story until the name of Fabio came up. Once again it was emphasized how much he had missed in his children's lives. Once again this Fabio had beat him to it. He forced himself to realize this was not Erin's fault and he smiled at her, but she'd already seen the previous dark look in his eyes. "You don't like hearing about stuff like this?"

"No, it's not like that." He rested his back against a tall tree. "I love listening to stories about you and Oliver being young. But..." He hesitated, wondering if this was the sort of thing to discuss with your twelve year-old daughter. Probably not. "I don't like to hear about Fabio," he admitted anyway.

"Oh." Erin scratched her nose thoughtfully and for a moment, she looked just like Mary. It made Sirius smile.

"I prefer pretending he doesn't exist in those memories, you see," he clarified more kindly while Erin grabbed another sandwich from the plate.

She swallowed a mouthful while watching the herd that was slowly dissapearing into the forest. "Fabio was a good man, but he was never my father. I never looked at him that way anyway. He was more like... like a cool uncle, like Jonathan."

He looked at her in wonder. "Really?"

She nodded. "He was like a dad to Oliver, but not me... I used to cross my fingers and hope you would show up the next day every night I went to sleep, but you never came."

"Oh love, you know-"

"I know now that was just impossible, but this is exactly why I hate mum."

"You dont hate her."

"Well, maybe not, but she lied. She has lied to my face every time I asked about you and made me believe that lie."

By now there were tears shimmering in those big grey eyes, so like his own, and Sirius leaned over to put a hand on her shoulder. "She only did that to protect you from feeling hurt."

She looked at him. "But what about you?! You must be furious that she ran off and left you for dead in that... that Azapan."

"Azkaban," he corrected softly.

"Yeah, that place. Don't you hate her for that?"

For the second time that night Sirius wondered if he should be honest. He ran a hand through his hair. "I did," he said sincerely. "Part of me still does. But I just realized I love her more."

Erin sniffed. "Why?"

"Because one night Mary made me see that she did exactly what I made her promise me all those years ago; she would have to bring herself and you to safety, no matter what happened to me."

"But she left."

"Yes," Sirius said, "worse, the people we were working with made me believe both of you had been killed by Death Eaters."

"She shouldn't have left you," Erin said, shaking her head vehemently.

"On the contrary, didn't you hear what I said? I made her promise."

"Whatever, it still was her own choice to stay or go."

"True, true" Sirius nodded. "The thing with crucial choices is that they always have severe consequences. We all made mistakes... I'm a perfect example of that," he said, thinking of James and Lily. He smiled at his daughter. "You're still young, Erin, you wouldn't understand. But I do think it's time to stop blaming your mother for everything that was and will never be. All she ever did was trying to keep you and your brother safe."

She fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve, another thing that reminded him of a younger Mary. Apparently they were more alike than he thought after all. "I mean it, Erin. Give her a break, or at least listen to what she has to say."

Erin still didn't say anything, but after another moment, she nodded. "Great," Sirius said as he got up from the tree trunk. "It's growing dark. We should be heading home."

They were walking down the path in silence, each drowned in their own thoughts when an insistent hoot pulled them both back to the present. Erin glanced up at the dark sky. "Is that a... owl?"

Sirius didn't need to answer that question because a snow-white owl was already coming into sight. When Hedwig had landed on his outstretched arm and he was untying the letter on her talon, Erin was staring at the bird in wonder. "It's so white," she said admiringly while stroking its feathers as Hedwig hooted softly. "I've never seen anything like it. What's it called?"

"Hedwig," he replied. "She's my godson's owl." Too late did he realize that, aside from Mary, no one on the ranch really knew about Harry.

"Godson?," Erin asked, looking up in surprise. "You have a godson?"

"Yes," Sirius said shortly while putting the letter in his pocket. "He lives in England."

"Does he know you're innocent?"

"Yes. Look- It's getting really dark now. I must take you home. We can talk about this another time, okay?"

Erin looked like she was dying with curiosity, but she nodded obediently and gave Hedwig one last stroke before she walked on. "She's gorgeous. Can we take care of her?"

Sirius nodded absent-mindedly while thinking what Harry could be writing him about this time. "Hedwig usually flies off on her own accord once she's rested long enough, but until that moment comes, sure. She's all yours."

"Cool!"

They headed back to the cabin in silence. After Sirius helped Erin up her bedroom window and had given Hedwig to her, he leaned his elbows on the window sill. "I am going to have to place the Locking Charm on your room again."

Erin, who had just put Hedwig down on the side of her desk, looked disappointed. "Ahhh, why?" she asked while heading back to the window.

"To be sure you won't go off running into the jungle, of course!" He joked before continuing in a more serious voice: "Look at it this way, the sooner you talk to your mother, the sooner things will be back to normal."

She jokingly rolled her eyes, sighed and heaved a heavy sigh. "Okaaaay."

"I mean it, Erin. Tell me you'll listen."

Erin kneeled down in front of the window so that they were finally at eye level. "I promise," she whispered sincerely.

Sirius pulled her into a close hug. When he heard her whisper "I love you, daddy", he thought his heart would melt.

Harry's owl was practically burning in the pocket by the time Sirius had said his goodbyes to Erin. He quickly disapparated to the deserted cabin in the jungle and headed inside. Buckbeak, who had crawled up in his favorite corner, raised its head. "You were sleeping?" Sirius asked. "Sorry for waking you, old boy."

Buckbeak blinked at him and put his head back down, resting his beak on his front talons. Sirius conjured himself a nice glass of Exquisito di Cinamomo - over the last weeks he had come to appreciate the native drink that tasted so oddly and made his throat burn like that time he downed an entire bottle Firewhiskey with James - and flopped down on his unmade bed. Only then did he finally unfold the parchment:

Dear Sirius,

Thanks for your last letter, that bird was enormous,

it could hardly get through my window.

Things are the same as usual here. Dudley's diet isn't

going too well. My aunt found him snuggling doughnuts into

his room yesterday. They told him they'd have to cut his pocket

money if he keeps doing it, so he got really angry and chucked

his PlayStation out of the window. That's sort of a computer

thing you can play games on. Bit stupid really, now he hasn't even

got Mega-Mutilation Part Three to take his mind off things.

I'm OK, mainly because the Dursleys are terrified you might

turn up and turn them all into bats if I ask you to.

A weird thing happened this morning though. My scar hurt again.

Last time that happened was because Voldemort was at Hogwarts.

But I can't reckon he can be anywhere near me now, can he? Do

you know if curse scars sometimes hurt years afterwards?

I'll send this with Hedwig when she gets back, she's off hunting

at the moment. Say hello to Buckbeak for me.

Harry

The next and final paragraph of the owl looked messier, like it had been written down in haste.

If you want to contact me, I'll be at my friend Ron Weasley's for the rest of Summer. His dad's got us tickets for the Quiddith World Cup!

He carefully read the letter another time before he finally looked up, frowning. If Harry's scar was hurting like he said it was, then something definitely must be going on. Sirius did not know much about scars in general, let alone those who were caused by a curse, but aches like that did not happen for no good reason. It was not unlikely that the scar was linked to the perpetrator and vice versa on some level.

Sirius scratched his chin. All of this was giving him an unpleasant feeling in his stomach. He was all the way over here, Harry in England: if something bad happened, there was no way he could be there soon to help him. He did realize that Harry was not all by himself. Dumbledore would always be on the look out, and he was sure Remus would never be far away either. But still... As his Godfather, shouldn't he be around to protect him from harm as well? Sirius sighed and lay down on his squeaky mattress. He needed to think about this. The trouble with nightly worries, however, is that they have the annoying tendency to keep you from getting any sleep.

The next day, Sirius spent the day in the burning sun with Butch, Jonathan and Sayid as they attempted to repair and strenghten the fence near the North-East border. He would have liked using the relatively peace of this afternoon to ponder some more over what he should do about Harry. But this proved to be impossible since Jonathan couldn't stop talking about the party later that night (Roberto was throwing a small party for the other South-American wizard communities the ranch was doing business with), where he was finally introducing his boyfriend to everyone else. Sirius found it difficult to imagine Jonathan with another man at the best of times, but after an entire day of hearing him talk about whether he should wear the blue or the green tie, Sirius was vividly imagining to use that tie for a whole different purpose. Anything to shut him up.

Luckily, he wasn't the only one who had enough of Jonathan's rambling. Right when Sirius thought he couldn't take anymore, Butch suddenly let out a furious cry while pounding a heavy pole in the ground with a single slash of his wand. "One more word out of you, McLaggen," he growled, "and I'll be using you as a pole next."

Later that night, Sirius changed into his party clothing; something that Mary (probably with the assistance of Fiona) had collected for him. The outfit existed of a pair of white linen pants, neat shoes and a dark grey blouse. Again no dress robes, which - although he still thought it was extremely weird - he was grateful for. It was still bloody hot outside. He was supposed to meet Mary at the beginning of the rocky road leading to the main house. He arrived there early, feeling slightly nervous (although he could not explain why). He had not seen her all day (she had been working at the stables), and he wondered what she would look like.

And there she was. His heart skipped a beat when Mary finally appeared from the trees and walked over towards him. She was in high heels, wearing a long lilac dress with a halter top that flattered her figure immensely and her hair was tied up in a complicated-looking knot: in short, she was stunning. And that was not just it, Sirius suddenly realized. She was smiling broadly and looked happier than he had seen her in days. She truly was a grown-up woman now; confident and strong. And then, without warning, a sudden thought struck: he could travel back to England and find out more about Harry's scar, and Mary would still be alright. She didn't need him here all the time. She and the kids would be fine. And just like that, Sirius had made up his mind. He was going back to England to help out Harry as soon as possible. Now all he had to do was find a way to break the news to Mary.

- End of Update -

Song from the title: Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana.