AN: Wow, I can't believe it's been so long. I can only say I'm sorry, guys. Marsupial1974, I know you were worried, and I apologize. I really didn't even realize I had been gone so long. My life has been nothing short of crazy. I've moved house, changed jobs, spent 9 months in a different state, and had all kinds of other personal crap to deal with, and well, I think if I'd let myself escape into my fantasy world while everything was so nuts, I wouldn't have wanted to come back. But things are looking up again, so I'm back again. And I've missed you all so much. :)
Emily
It's just past 7 and Naomi and I are standing at Mandy's front door.
"Thanks again for doing this." I tell her, "I know it's not exactly your idea of fun." She smiles at me.
"It's cool, Em, really." she says, squeezing my hand, "I'm not really into spiritual stuff, but there's a lot of good people here, and if you want to explore your spiritual options, who am I to stand in your way?"
"You don't have to stay." I tell her, though I don't really mean it. I'm nervous as hell, and I kind of need her with me.
"And miss such a big step for you? Not a chance!" she says, being supportive as always; though I suspect there's a large part of her the just wants to keep an eye on Mandy. Still, I lean over and give her a quick kiss as way of thanks before knocking on the door.
Mandy's mum, Marcy, is standing in front of us a moment later.
"Emily!" she says cheerfully, "I'm so glad you could join us! Mandy has been simply raving about you!" I feel Naomi tense at my side and I squeeze her hand, effectively calming her.
"And Naomi!" Marcy's attention switches to her, "A pleasure as always to have you! Come on in, ladies! We're just getting set up!"
We cross the threshold into the house and find about 15 people cluttering the living room. I spot Derek, a nice boy I had met here when Gina had invited us for her last gathering. He's spread himself out on the living room floor and is closely studying a deck of Tarot cards that he has arranged in front of him. I watch him, curiously, as he looks from his cards to a book in his hands, and then back to his cards, concentrating hard. His blonde, side-swept hair falls into his eyes.
"Alright, Derek?" Marcy says from somewhere at my side and Derek nods without lifting his gaze.
"Change is a frightening this, Mum." he says. I noticed many people calling Marcy 'mum' the last time we were here, though Mandy is her only child. I find myself comforted by the fact. She must be a wonderful woman, if so many people view her as a mother figure. Marcy leans down and inspects his cards and then ruffles his hair.
"That it is, love." she says, and then disappears down the hall. I look at his cards, too, and my breath catches when I spot one of them. It's image is a hooded, skeletal figure, carrying a sickle. The word "DEATH" is printed in bold letters on the bottom of the card. Derek looks up when he hears my reaction and smiles.
"Emily! Hi! Nice to see you again!" his smile falters when he sees the look on my face and he follows my gaze until he spots what has spooked me. A short laugh bursts from him.
"Emily, no! It's not what you think! Look, sit down, I'll show you."
I look to Naomi for permission, not wanting her to feel ignored. She nods and kisses my forehead before leaving me with Derek and plopping down on the sofa next to a petite girl with dreadlocks. They immediately launch into an animated conversation and I smile, glad that she'll have someone to keep her company.
"So death doesn't always mean death." Derek explains when I'm done situating myself on the floor. He hands me his book and points to the page it's turned to. The book gives me a detailed guidline on how to interperet each card, I read the page for the card in question and relax a bit.
"So it just means you should be ready for change, see? Like if you were to move house. It would be the death of that part of your life, and the birth of a new part. Get it?" He asks me and I smile, finding the cards fascinating, already.
"Yeah." I tell him, and he smiles. "Does this stuff really work, though?" I ask him. He smirks, knowingly, at me, as if he expected the question.
"They're not magic, Emily." he explains, "Well, at least not on their own. I use them when I'm not sure where things are going for me, when I feel a little out of sync. They help me wrap my head around things. They don't tell you what's going to happen; they help you deal with what's already happening." I listen intently as he explains and nod my understanding.
"So it's like looking for an answer you can't work out yourself? Like asking for advice, only you're answering your own question. The cards just help you find the answer." I ask, to clarify and he smiles brightly.
"Precisely, new girl! You're pretty sharp! Wanna give it a try?" he asks me. I'm not sure I can figure out my issues even with some guidance, but it couldn't hurt to try.
"Sure." I tell him, and he smiles, again, eager to teach a newcomer.
"Ok, so we'll just do a simple spread, since it's your first time. And we'll only use the major cards because their more direct, and easier to understand." I nod and he goes about seperating the major cards from his deck. He sets the others aside and hands the smaller deck to me.
"Shuffle." he says and I do. When I'm satisfied, I hand the cards back to him.
"Ok, so this is the simplest spread there is. You only need to draw three cards; one to represent past, present, and future. So you just need to think about what you're all fucked up about and the draw the cards. Then lay them in front of you, left to right."
I nod my understanding and pull three cards from the top of the deck, one by one, laying them out on the floor.
Derek turns over the card on the left.
"The Fool." he says, this card suggests that in the past, you've followed others on blind faith. See how they're smiling?" I look closer at the card and see what looks to be a young boy playing on a drum, a dog walking at his side. They both appear to be positively joyful. I nod. "Blind faith doesn't necessarily lead to unhappiness," he continues, "but it can have its consequences. This is why the card is called 'the fool'."
I nod my understanding and think about how "The Fool" applies to me. Up until recently, I've let Mum and Katie force me into anything they've wanted from me. I told myself they had my best interest at heart, or they just wanted to spend time with me, no matter how much I didn't agree with them. I look up at Naomi and find a small smile on her face. No doubt she knows what I'm thinking.
"Ok, I think I've got it." I tell Derek, though I don't look away from Naomi. I do tear my eyes away, though, when I hear Derek starting to turn over the next card. He smiles at me.
"The Lovers" he says. I look closely at the card, taking in its image. I notice how the two people in the picture stare into each others eyes. I look up to Naomi again, and we seem to be just as the people on the card, sharing the same longing gaze.
"I think this card speaks for itself." Derek says, and my lips twitch up a fraction.
"Yeah." I say, tearing my eyes away from Naomi and looking back at the cards. They hold my attention now as I wait for the last card to be flipped over. After all, this is the most important of the three. I stare at the card when it's face up and frown. The image on the card is a wheel. Three creatures sit along its edge as if on a carnival ride, each with a different emotion evident on its face. I look up at Derek.
"The Wheel of Fortune." he says, sounding mildly sympathetic.
"What does it mean?" I ask.
"It means it's up to you, Emily." He tells me with a shrug, "Whatever happens with your problem depends on you. Any change depends on you, even for anyone else involved; whatever you do effects what they'll do." I frown deeper.
"Well that's completely unhelpful!" I complain and he chuckles.
"Yeah, that can happen." he says and I look to Naomi again. She shrugs at me with a small, knowing, smile. I shrug as well and get to my feet.
"Thanks, Derek." I say before going over to sit with Naoms.
"Don't mention it." he says, and goes about cleaning up his cards. A moment later, he's joined the rest of the group on the furniture.
"So apparently, only I can fix my Mum issue." I grumble to Naomi as I sit.
"Not true, Ems." she says, "You can't make up another persons mind for them, but I think the cards are still right." I cock an eyebrow, confused.
"As long as she knows she has a hold on you, she'll keep trying to change you." she explains, "I think before she can start to come around, you have to show her that you can't be changed; that she either has to accept it or lose you." I think hard about what she says and decide that maybe she's right. Maybe every will get better if I just let myself be me.
"That's very insightful, Naoms." a new voice joins the conversation. I look up to see Mandy staring impressed at Naomi.
I've come to expect words of wisdom from Naoms, but Mandy is acting as if it's a rare occurrence. I catch Naomi glaring from the corner of my eye and place my hand on her thigh.
"Wise beyond her years, she is." I say, effectively defusing the tension. Mandy smiles a little too sweetly and then turns her attention fully to me.
"Mum wants to speak with you privately for a moment, that ok?" she asks me. I frown, wondering what she could possibly need me, privately, for. I turn to Naomi and she nods, telling me it's ok to go. So I get up and follow Mandy into the kitchen.
"Where's your Mum?" I ask, as Mandy turns to face me.
"She's out back," she says, dismissively, "actually, I wanted to talk to you." My eyebrows shoot up, but out of sheer curiosity, I hang around to hear her out.
"Naomi and I have a history." she says with a sigh, "It was some really stupid thing back in middle school and, well, she won't let it go. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I've tried working things out with her, but well, you know her, she's stubborn."
I'm still suspicious, but I nod my head in agreement, Naomi is a stubborn girl.
Mandy smiles.
"Great! Sorted!" she says, happily, "I just didn't want her to paint me as a villain, you know? Cos I want to make a good impression on you, Em, I want to get to know you."
There's an undertone to her voice that I can't quite read, and it makes me a bit uncomfortable. If I'm honest, knowing how Naomi feels about Mandy leaves me with a lack of trust in her friendship. But she seems to be sincere, so I decide to give her a chance.
"Sure." I say with a small smile.
AN: so pretty uneventful for my first time back, but don't worry, more to come. And I know you're all eager to know how things go with Keffy. :) As for my other stories, Chosen will still be on hold for a little bit until I can get my hands on my comic books as a reference tool, but for this one, and Faige, I promise I'll try my hardest to get my groove back. I love you all!
See you next time! :)