Chapter 25
I have been staring at Shane hosting The Next and I have been dying to be in those arms again. But I have to move on, he is with Demi. And he knows he is, he can't stop flaunting her off at all the red carpet events he goes to. Louis stands infront of me, effectively blocking the television, and Harry turns it off. Gee, thanks everyone for trying to make me move on from Shane, but it isn't working. I am still lonely inside.
I am dying inside, I really am, and the only person who knows this is Louis, and Caity, Nate, Jason and Danielle.
Basically, we are in touch almost every day. Either through video chats, twitter or facebook or phone calls.
Even then, I have been spending a lot of time with Louis the Superman. He can be so sweet when he isn't conspiring with Harry. But he is now. Harry doesn't know that I am still in love with Shane, he just knows him as my ex.
"Bored, are we?" Louis asks.
"Go away, he is pretty! I wanna watch him on television." Louis looks at me the way a dad looks at his daughter. With a tut-tut look. Yes, kind of scolding, if you get the hint, which I easily get coz I am good at reading non verbal cues and body language. I look down, feeling guilty, and he sits next to me, hugging me.
"So, wanna have a meal away from the melee?"
"Sure thing Louis." I say, giving up on seeing Shane and his pretty pretty face.
Zayn looks at Louis suspiciously, but I narrow my eyes at him. Soon enough, Niall invites himself. He is excitedly waving a cinnamon roll and I am shaking my head. It reminds me of Zayn's hair when he had the blonde part. Ha-ha.
I see Harry and Zayn exchange looks and I wonder what their problem is. Even then, I don't have time to find out why because Niall drags me out. I see Liam watching from the corner of his eye and I smile, once the responsible one, always the responsible one. I think that Louis and Harry being separated will minimize the pranks.
Hey, I miss those pranks he and Louis were always up to.
Oh well, they won't happen, at least not today. Today was Louis and I's day out, with our baby Niall.
Niall was so excited, he ordered first. Louis and I went to order together. He was telling me a funny story about the last time he was playing football with the boys at Doncaster and Niall went crazy and ran past the camera crew barring his abs for all to see.
"Zayn had been worried about the number of times he kept falling. He and his fear of messing his hair made us win the game, because Harry kept tripping him."
I laughed, remembering the last time we had been together he had allowed his hair to stay shaggy from the roller coaster ride. As I remembered that day with nostalgia, and Harry's date with me, I slowly heard Louis' voice fade into the background noise.
I came back to Louis waving his hands in front of my eyes. Too close. I couldn't help noticing the color of his eyes-blue green and they were full of mischief. Oh no.
"I was about to call Olly Murs to catch your attention."
"Huh?! How, what are you talking about?"
Louis laughed. No one knew that. except Caity and my diary.
Unless . . .
"Louis, how did you know that?"
"Well, a little bird told me . . ."
"Does that little bird have pages?" I said, and he laughed, grabbing the tray of food and leading us to the table.
We sat down and he managed somehow to steer the talk away from the tales of Olly Murs and into the Kenyan Charities. Apparently Zayn was thinking of working with a few African Charities, including a Kenyan one I also had my eyes on.
I smiled, thinking my thoughts to myself.
"You like him, don't you?"
Niall was talking, and I looked up, distracted. He had stolen some of my fries. Ugh, Niall, you scheming, wily, food-stealing fox.
"Who?"
"Of course I mean Louis!"
"What?! NO!" I said it so loudly; everyone stopped talking to look at us. Talking about Louis, where was he?
"Sorry," Niall apologized, and I stared at him.
"Well, Louis has a thing for you."
"What?!"
"I know Louis, and I know he is in too deep. Even Harry and Zayn know that he likes you."
I stared at Niall whose eyes were on me. "I liked you too, and I wanted you too. . . "
"Niall . . ."
"I know what you will say. And I know I am not ready for this, but I am not going to fight a losing war."
"Niall . . ."
I wanted to tell him that I'd choose him any day, anytime, over Harry, because I wasn't sure if I was a game to him. Even then, something told me that Harry liked me, and he was serious about me. Wow, what was I gonna do? Where is LOUIS for heaven's sake?
I turned round and saw him winking at me as he picked up my drink. I looked down. Niall was watching as he ate the fries he stole from me.
"Want some chicken?" I asked, suddenly feeling like I had lost my appetite.
"Sure."
I pushed my plate towards him, and stared out as Louis rejoined us, giving us our drinks. I sipped on mine silently. Louis looked at me, and reached out his hand, placing it above mine. I looked at Niall and our eyes met. He looked at me, then the hands, and finally looked aside.
"Are you okay?" Louis asked, trying to massage my hand.
"Louis… I ... I…"
"Is something the matter with your milkshake? I hope you aren't allergic to milk? Can I get something else?"
"No, the shake is just fine."
"Then, are you feeling cold. It must be that! here, have my sweater." Louis was being too worried. Like he liked me more than just friends, but he had always liked me, and treated me this way. I don't think its ever gonna change.
What if Niall is right?
"Sarah? Are you okay?" Louis was now shaking me gently. I looked at his worried expression and got up.
"I am sorry, I can't do this anymore."
"Are you breaking up with me as your best friend? Isn't that absurd?"
I sat back down. How could I tell him that Niall said he had feelings for me? How could I try to tell him 'no' without sounding rude? Did he really like me the way Niall said he did?
"Maybe I am." I said, unable to avoid shooting a look at Niall in the process.
"OUCH." Louis said.
"Sorry."
"AHEM!" niall cleared his throat and Louis shot him a look. He started to get up, but I beat him to it.
"I will see you guys later, perhaps at home? I just need to clear my head."
"Can I come along?" Louis and Niall asked in chorus. I looked at them as they looked at each other. It was so cute. No. stop.
"It's a thing I kinda, sorta should do alone. I will see you guys later. Take care sass and leprechaun."
With that, I turned and left them, probably leaving them to fight, talk, or whatever. I have to think of myself now for now. I wonder where I can find a place to sort my mind out.
Maybe it is about time I went to a church and talked to God?
The Westminster Abbey looked like a place I'd visit on any other day to admire its beauty, but I was here today to pray.
The quiet walls were a refuge from the noise outside, a place where I would find refuge from all the crazy people.
I prayed and went on to sit and listen quietly to the stirrings of my soul as I reveled in the solitude of this place and the calm that my heart had fallen happily into.
As I smiled to myself, I suddenly saw myself in a wedding dress, walking down an aisle decorated with daisies, and walking up to a man who had beautiful hair. I smiled as I saw it was Zayn, but when the veil was lifted, I saw the face was Harry's. I looked around and saw Louis holding up a poster saying, 'I love you Sarah, and please do not marry him' and I saw Niall crying like a baby in a corner. He didn't look up when I touched his shoulder. Finally, Liam came up to me and said, 'you broke them all and killed One Direction.'
I woke up with a start.
No, I didn't want anything to happen. I didn't want any of that to happen. I wanted. . . I wanted. . . I wanted. . .
What did I really want? I didn't know if I wanted Shane, or Zayn, or Louis, Harry or Niall. Two of them were taken, one was a player, another was so insecure and the other, we had a past with.
A beautiful past, but I was still unsure about whether he'd take me back because I broke up with him. what if he didn't want me the way I wanted him to want me?
I can't think. I can't think! I need five flowers to play 'Love Me, Love Me Not'.
"Hello girls," I said as I walked into the lads' house, only to be shushed by them all.
"Eh, what's up?" I asked, seating down on the seat only to see them all dressed in underpants of some sort. Now, this was really weird.
"So, Harry wins!"
"Wins what?" I asked, jolting everyone out of their little game. Next thing, all the guys start to scream like girls. Oopsy, I thought you guys love to be naked. Okay, maybe not all of you. Harry loves to be in his birthday suit and or boxers.
Funny, right? Oh well, it started to get funnier listening to them wail. I snapped a quick photo and was making a video when I got tossed to the ground and hit by pillows. Even then, I kept laughing coz it was all funny.
After what seemed like eternity, we just sat back and enjoyed watching Louis playing blind man's bluff with Harry. For that night, I forgot and so did they, that 4/5 of them were in love with me.
For tonight, all we want to do is enjoy this great friendship we share.
One direction and I are buds forever.
Author's note: well, i know nothing about London, so i kind of thought that Westminister is like an old church or something. If it isn't, please just go along with it? Thanks. I am also writing a new story based on Caity'sside of the story. Yes, it will be alot of work, but i am gonna put my back into it. So, who'll be reading? i know i also left my Luke story and Jella story hanging, so i will finish posting Jella first before i start both Luke and Caitlyn. Who's with me? i am so excited!