Disclaimer: I don't own any Cars characters, only Jen, Rocket, Evan, Christine, Zack and Dustin. James belongs to McQueenfan95 who game me permission to use him in the story.

McQueenfan95: hi everyone, we're back. We're gonna have some fun, *mumbles* even though you don't review.

Zack: words can not express how much I hate you.

Christine: Zack! You get yourself back here! we still need to do your makeup!

James: *tackles Zack* you stay right there. *takes Zack's gun and throws it to Dustin* hide that some place safe.

Dustin: *nods and goes to hide the gun*

Rocket: *faces McQueenfan95* see? Ya see the trouble you cause? Ever since you and James got here, there's been nothin' but trouble.

James: Rocket, alot of that trouble has befallen on me. Thank you for helping to save my life by the way. I'm the one who got shot and fell into the cactus. I'm the one who almost pissed myself because of that dang'ed spider.

McQueenfan95: Okay, that's enough of that. Anyway, on with the story.

When Jen and James got to the café, most of the towns folks were already there.

Mater smirked as he drove up to them and said, "John Deere Green', right?" as he pointed his front tire at the water tower.

James just nodded.

Sarge yelled, "THAT'S JUST STUPID!".

James released the snap on his gun holister while Jen yelled, "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY, YOU MISERABLE OLD JEEP?".

Sarge realized he had said the wrong thing at the wrong time. And he said, "I just heard something on the radio about some cars in California that have spent the last year and a half living around an oak tree to keep the tree from being cut down".

James said, "your right, that is stupid. I bet they're all Volkswagens or Hybrids".

"or Smart Fortwos" Jen added.

"This is why I don't really like hippies. They are such giners. Just vaginas". James stated.

Fillmore said, "F.U. James. You owe it all to the hippies. Free speech. Free Love. The music industry".

James said, "Fillmore, when you indulge stupidity, you get more stupidity. Progress is being stopped because of these morons that want to protect a tree. It's a tree. Not even an endangered one. It's a common tree. It's a renewable resource. I hate the self rightiousness of vegetarians and hippies. Their all like 'we're not destroying the world, we're not killing living creatures'. Yes, you are! You're eating plants, it's a life form. Those plants clean our planet's air. Your stopping the rejuvination of the earth".

Fillmore said, "I don't understand what your talking about".

James began to raise his voice a little as he said, "I'm talking about a year and a half of stupid hippies living at the base of a tree to protect the stupid tree! Do you live in a house? Do you live in a house, stupid?", he began to ask the same question again and again because Fillmore kept babbling, "DO YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE? DO YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE, STUPID? STUPID, DO YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE?", Fillmore stopped babbling, "DO YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE?".

"what does that have to do with trees?" Fillmore asked.

James answered, "HOUSES ARE MADE OF WOOD! WOOD COMES FROM TREES!".

"The trees are our elders, man". Fillmore stated.

James yelled, "THE TREES ARE NOT YOUR ELDERS! YOU ARE NOT A LITTLE TREE! YOU ARE NOT AN ACORN, STUPID! THEY ARE NOT YOUR ELDERS! 'THE LORD OF THE RINGS' IS A FICTIONAL MOVIE! THE TREES ARE NOT ALIVE! IT'S NOT The circle of life, STUPID!".

"the problem is that you don't get enough nature, man".

James continued yelling, "oh no, YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH NATURE! I GET ALL THE NATURE I WANT! IF YOU WANT NATURE, GO EAST! In New England and Canada, there are lots of trees, stinky. And they don't have alot of soap.

Fillmore said, "what about the whole
'sit by the tree' thing?".

James continued to yell, "YOUR KILLING ME WITH YOUR STUPIDITY! I HOPE YOU GET A YEAST INFECTION. DO YOU HEAR ME? I HOPE YOU GET A YEAST INFECTION, BECAUSE YOU'RE A VAGINA! IF YOU WANT NATURE, MOVE TO SEQUOIA NATIONAL PARK! LIVE IN A REAL TREE THAT YOU COULD MAKE A HOUSE IN. And the tree huggin' Hybrids, I say we send Red down there and spray those stinky bastards away from the tree, and throw some soap on them and clean them real quick".

Fillmore said, "you know, your probably not gonna get any for a week now, after sayin' this shit".

James said, "oh, ya see? Two things, stupid. One, I'm old fashioned, I wouldn't be trying to get any until our wedding night, assuming we stay together. And two, you cussed. It's all free love until you get mad. Then you become normal, huh? I think I proved my point. Besides the fact, they're all like, 'let's save the world. If we save this tree, we save the world'. No, you haven't. Have you ever seen that lumber jack show on 'The History Channel'? They cut trees every day. Every day they cut lotsa trees". He looked over at Sarge, "How many of the these tree huggers are there?".

Sarge said, "I think they said there are four of them now".

"If my math is correct, a year and a half multiplied by four hippies, that's a total of... SIX YEARS! They've wasted six years between themselves. Doing what? Sitting around a tree. A damn tree. I'm gonna laugh so hard if that tree gets knocked down in a wind storm. That's why it's a stupid cause. The tree could be taken down in a wind storm tomorrow night. Then all of this time, the six years, is wasted. It could be put to better use. They could be using that time helping recovering accident victims or helping cars that are addicted to drugs, like heroin or cocaine, and help them to get clean. There are so many better causes to work for".

Evan stated, "even though I was trying to hold back laughter a minute ago, I have to agree with him. There are better uses for their time than trying to save a tree".

Doc and Sheriff pulled in a second later. Sheriff said, "do I need to take you in for disturbing the peace?".

James answered, "no. I'm done yelling".

McQueenfan95: I'm awarding points to whoever can tell me what incident that refers to. Tell me in a review. Write that review on the back of a new 57" plasma screen TV, and put it in our inbox.

Zack: I hate you all!

Christine: but you look so pretty.

Evan: yes, you look FABULOUS!

James: Evan, don't ever say that out loud again.

Rocket: I'm getting out of here.

James and Jen: PLEASE REVIEW!

Remember! Reading + Reviewing equals one happy Deadly Fangs and McQueenfan95!