Anonymous Review 1: That's probably because I don't like Camula and I don't see how she would be able to fit into my story and still make a bit of sense. As you have mentioned, Yugioh GX anime had a different premise to it. This one is more serious and less goofy and, if I added a vampire, it'd make the Yugioh guards with invisible guns logical by comparison. Even nostalgically Camula was never a great villain to begin with. It never made sense why she was in a show about saving the world with a children's card game, why the superintendent hired her in the first place, or why she wanted to be a Shadow Rider. If she did have potential, I would've given her a try, like with Truman. Yes, I didn't like Truman as a villain either, but at least I see potential in him. In fact, I do actually see Camula as a better villain than Truman, because she at least has some sort of reason to be a villain and a goal to strive for. When I add villains to my story, I don't choose the better or worst ones, I choose ones that would fit into a story like mine. With Truman, I just need to add a bit more to him than just being "darkness" and set some goals for him to make him stand out. With Camula, even changing her from being a vampire into some girl in a costume would just be lame and the only way I can make her better is to turn her into Sabrina from Pokemon, which I won't do. Besides, Reggie made a way better villain anyways and is even one of the best Yugioh GX villains of all times. Personally, I find it worth it, even for those that liked Camula, to replace her with Reggie.
Anonymous Review 2: Just because a vampire looks like a vampire, doesn't mean it's a vampire. In fact, your proof of Camula doesn't fit the definition of a vampire. Just because Camula sleeps in a coffin, can make a creepy face, can fly, can duplicate herself, and has an army of bats, does not mean she's a vampire. Google the definition of vampire, if you don't believe me:
Vampire: a corpse supposed, in European folklore, to leave its grave at night to drink the blood of the living by biting their necks with long pointed canine teeth.
Does Camula drink blood by biting the necks of her victims with her long pointed canine teeth? No. I will say it once and I will say it again, she acts NOTHING like a vampire. What you're stating are only TRAITS found in most vampires, but that's not the definition of a vampire. It's like stating that a horse is a big brown animal with short fur and stands on its four legs. Every horse is like that, but you can find any animal that's big, brown, has short fur, and stands on its four legs. Now, those traits you defined are commonly found in vampires, but unless that vampire leaves his grave at night to drink the blood of the living, that vampire could be anything: a psychic, witch, etc.
Just to make it clear with you guys, I'm not changing Chazz's back story from the anime. The only thing I'm changing is Chazz's brothers trying to use card games to rule the world or something like that. They'll show their faces eventually, but not right now. Because Chazz didn't leave on the ship with his emo monkeys (yes, I'm calling them that), his brother's aren't pressuring him with winning any duel. The fact Jaylin is a girl in this and there's no rivalry set between her and Chazz does help, including the fact Dr. Crowler isn't being an asshole. I do promise to give Chazz more personality, but it's going to take some time, since I'm doing the same with everyone else. Review please!
Jaylin and Chazz drew five cards, then played Rock-Paper-Scissors to decide who would go first. Chazz won and drew his first card, then searched through his hand. A smirk appeared upon his lips.
"I summon Masked Dragon in defense mode!" Chazz declared as a huge silver and red dragon appeared with mighty silver and purple wings and green eyes. "I end." He could hear the audience clapping to indicate the end of his turn.
"'Kay!" Jaylin replied, drawing her next card. "I summon Elemental Hero Lady Heat in attack mode!" Elemental HERO Lady Heat appeared bright in orange and red. "She destroys your Masked Dragon!" Elemental HERO Lady Heat shot fire from her hands, burning Masked Dragon to a crisp.
"I activate Masked Dragon's effect!" Chazz declared. He searched through his deck and special summoned Armed Dragon Level 3, who was a small orange dragon with iron armor and bright yellow eyes.
"Wow. I throw in a face-down and end my turn, but not before using Lady Heat's effect," Jaylin declared as Elemental HERO Lady Heat began showing flames al around her, then around Chazz and his life points dropped to 3800. The audience began clapping in the background. "Are you using some sort of Dragon deck or something?"
"Sorta," Chazz replied, drawing his next card. "First, I'll use my Armed Dragon's effect to level it up a notch." Armed Dragon Level 3 disappeared from the field and was replaced with Armed Dragon Level 5, which was a huge red dragon with black armor that had spikes and drills all over it. The dragon also had a huge jaw.
"Oh boy."
"It gets better. I use its effect by sending my Flying Kamakiri to the graveyard and... yeah," Chazz smirked as Jaylin watched as her Elemental HERO Lady Heat burst from the field before her eyes then... "Now, my Armed Dragon attacks you directly!" Armed Dragon Level 5 took a gulp of breath and burst fire from its mouth at Jaylin directly, leaving her with 1600 life points remaining.
"Damnit!"
"I place one card face-down and end my turn," Chazz finished, hearing the crowd clap before Jaylin drew her next card.
"I summon Bubbleman in attack mode," Jaylin declared as Elemental HERO Bubbleman appeared instantly on the field. "And, because I control no other cards besides him, I get to draw two cards." She drew two extra cards from her deck to her hand. "Great! I use Polymerization to fuse Bubbleman with Stratos to bring out Elemental Hero Great Tornado!" Elemental HERO Bubbleman and Elemental HERO Stratos fused into the light and appeared as Elemental HERO Great Tornado, the winds circling around it. A good number of the audience applauded, recognizing the fusion monster, while Elemental HERO's effect activated, lowering Armed Dragon Level 5's attack to 1200 and defense 850. "He also destroys your Armed Dragon!" Elemental HERO Great Tornado shot its arms up in the air and created an incredibly strong whirlwind that moved toward Armed Dragon Level 5 and picked it up. The dragon was swished around by the strong winds and eventually burst from the field, leaving Chazz with 2200 life points remaining. A good number of the crowd awed at the amazing attack done by Jaylin's fusion monster.
"I reveal Call of the Haunted to bring back my Armed Dragon Level 5," Chazz smirked as Armed Dragon Level 5 was instantly resummoned back to the field.
"Then, I throw in a face-down and that ends it," Jaylin finished, hearing the clapping of the audience for the end of her turn.
Chazz drew his next card, then declared, "I use my Armed Dragon's effect by sending Despair from the Dark to the graveyard to get rid of your Great Tornado!"
"Not so fast, because I activate my face-down De-Fusion to return my Great Tornado to its original monsters!" Jaylin smirked, as Elemental HERO Great Tornado split itself back into Elemental HERO Bubbleman and Elemental HERO Stratos, who were both in defense mode. "That was a nice try though."
"Fine! At least Armed Dragon's attack are back to normal, so he can destroy Stratos!"
Armed Dragon Level 5 took a huge gulp of breath and blew a blast of fire from its mouth directly at Elemental HERO Stratos, burning it into ashes. Chazz could see that he was gaining closer to winning this duel, feeling excitement in his blood. Little did he know, Jaylin already thought up a strategy to win this duel. She just continually kept her cool.
"Because my Armed Dragon destroyed your monster this turn, I get to level it up a notch," Chazz smirked as Armed Dragon Level 5 disappeared and instantly became Armed Dragon Level 7, a rather large dark red dragon with steal armor all over itself. The crowd began cheering, many of them recognizing this dragon from some of Chazz's previous duels, especially his duel in the first round. "What do you think?"
"Impressive," Jaylin complimented, showing a smirk, then drew her next card. "I summon Elemental HERO Woodsman in defense mode!" Some of the crowd cheered, recognizing this monster. "Then, I'll place one card face-down and end my turn." The audience clapped, since it was the end of Jaylin's turn.
"I know what you're trying to do," Chazz smirked, knowing Elemental HERO Woodman's effect very well. "Which is why I'm going to put my Armed Dragon's effect to good use!" He placed Armed Dragon Level 3 from his hand to the graveyard and all of Jaylin's monsters were instantly destroyed, due to Armed Dragon Level 7's effect.
"Damnit!" Jaylin shouted.
"And now my Armed Dragon can attack you directly! YOU'RE FINISHED!" Chazz shouted victoriously.
"Uh Chazz, you do know I still have a face-down card, right? Meaning, you can't just attack me recklessly, especially since you didn't place any cards face-down to defend yourself, because if my face-down card ended up being Mirror Force or Magic Cyclinders, you're gonna be in really big trouble," Jaylin pointed out, turning Chazz's victorious smirk slowly into a frown right before their friends facepalmed.
"Dumbass," Alexis muttered from the auditorium.
"Anyways, I activate my trap card Negate Attack," Jaylin stated as she activated her face-down card and the attack from Armored Dragon Level 7 sucked inside the vortex of the trap card. "Call yourself lucky I didn't use Responsibility. You need to not attack so recklessly during a duel! Just one trap card can change a single duel around."
"Right... I end my turn," Chazz declared, feeling embarrassed he had his dragon attack Jaylin directly, while she had a face-down card on the field and Chazz had non. The audience clapped, since the turn ended.
Jaylin drew her next card, then declared, "I summon Kuri in attack mode!" Winged Kuriboh appeared bouncing around, the crowd cheered for the summon, recognizing the monster. "I end my turn." The audience clapped, being that it was the end of her turn.
"Oh great, not that thing again! I'm not letting it turn to level 9 like last time!" Chazz cried out, drawing his next card. "Armed Dragon destroys Winged Kuriboh!" Armed Dragon Level 7 took a huge gulp of breath and shot a huge blast of fire at Winged Kuriboh, bursting it from the field. "That ends my turn." The audience clapped for the end of the turn.
Jaylin drew her next card, then declared, "I play Pot of Greed!" She drew two cards from her deck to her hand. "Now, I play Dark Hole and destroy all your monsters on the field!" Chazz's eyes widened as a whirling black hole appeared from the field and sucked all of his monsters inside it, destroying them in the process. "Now, I summon Elemental Hero Ocean in attack mode!" Elemental HERO Ocean appeared on the field boldly, twirling its wand as some of the crowd applauded, recognizing the monster. "My Ocean attacks you directly!"
"Oh shit!" Chazz responded as Elemental HERO Ocean waved its wand and water burst directly at Chazz, bringing his life points down to 700.
"I end!" Jaylin said, hearing the audience clap in the background.
"Nice move!" Chazz smirked, drawing his next card. "I play The Graveyard in the Fourth Dimension!" He searched through his graveyard and got out Armed Dragon Level 7 and Level 3, then added them to his deck before shuffling it. "Then, I summon a monster I found two months ago called Ojama Yellow!" A tiny yellow person/creature/whatever was summoned onto the field in a defense position, wearing red polka-dotted underwear.
"Hey, you summoned me finally! It was about time! I was getting bored in there!" Ojama Yellow cried out in excitement with a childish voice, which made Jaylin raise an eyebrows.
"I told you to be quiet, you little twerp," Chazz muffled in annoyance.
Jaylin rose two eyebrows at this, wondering how Chazz could see and hear this little guy. Did he have dark powers too? Jaylin decided to worry about that later. The last thing she wanted was to blurt out a conversation about seeing the dead and finding herself in a Psychiatric Hospital. One of the downsides of having dark powers was that most of Japan would easily think she was some sort of crazy lunatic, if she was to just freely run around exploiting her dark powers, and the possibility of ever getting out of a Psychiatric Hospital would be 1 to no possibility.
"I place one card face-down and end my turn," Chazz declared aloud as the audience clapped for the end of the turn.
"Okay," Jaylin said, drawing her next card, then looking out onto the field. "My Ocean destroys your Ojama Yellow!" Elemental HERO Ocean waved its wand and a gush of water began bursting toward Ojama Yellow, who crouched in a defensive position and screamed at the top of his lungs before bursting from the field.
"I activate my face-down card The Grave of Enkindling to special summon my Armed Dragon Level 5 from my graveyard!" Chazz declared as his Armed Dragon Level 5 returned ferociously onto the field with a mighty roar.
"Since you used the effect, I'll use it to bring back Kuri!" Jaylin grinned as Winged Kuriboh reappared back on the field.
"Great! Him again!" Chazz complained.
"I place one card face-down and end my turn," Jaylin finished as the audience clapped, being that this was the end of the turn.
Chazz drew his next card, then declared, "I activate Level Up! to level up my Armed Dragon to level 7 once more!" Armed Dragon Level 5 returned back to level 7.
"What's with you and using the same cards over and over again?" Jaylin asked boredly. "I mean first it was the Transformers cards and now it's the Armed Dragon cards. You're seriously making Seto Kaiba less predictable."
"I activate Armed Charger and equip it to Armed Dragon Level 7!" Chazz declared, sending an equip spell card to the graveyard to activate its effect. Red metal armor was equipped to Armed Dragon Level 7. "Now, my Armed Dragon destroys your Ocean!" Armed Dragon Level 7 took a huge gulp of air and blasted fire, from its mouth, at Elemental HERO Ocean, bursting it from the field and leaving Jaylin with 300 life points remaining. "Now, I activate my Armed Charger's effect by adding a monster from the graveyard to my hand." He searched through his deck and got out his Masked Dragon, adding it to his hand. "Now, I activate my Armed Dragon's other effect by destroying your stupid Winged Kuribohs!"
"Wrong again, because I'm not predictable compared to you," Jaylin smirked, revealing her spell card Multiply on Winged Kuriboh and multiplied it into four Winged Kuriboh's.
"OH CO'MON!" Chazz complained, then something came across his mind. "Wait, you do know you could make a wall of Winged Kuribohs, right?"
"Yeah, because plagiarizing the King of Games' combos would certainly not be embarrassing," Jaylin said sarcastically.
"Okay, good point. I suppose I end my turn," Chazz finished, hearing the audience clap in the background, since it was the end of his turn.
"Okay, time for me to finish this bad boy!" Jaylin smirked, drawing her next card. "First off, I play Foolish Burial to place my Great Tornado in the graveyard!" Jaylin placed Elemental HERO Great Tornado from her extra deck to the graveyard. "Then, I play my Berserker Crush on one of my Winged Kuribohs!"
"What!? Aren't you going to use Alchemical Experiments?"
"And never get a chance to use this bad boy? No hell way! I'm using it on one of my Winged Kuribohs and adding the attack of Great Tornado to his attack!"
"Oh... crap."
The second Winged Kuriboh's attack rose to 3100 and defense rose to 2400, its size growing as large as Armed Dragon Level 7. This made Chazz's jaw drop and eyes widen. Jaylin smiled and chuckled as giant Winged Kuriboh opened its gigantic mouth and ate Armed Dragon Level 7, much to Chazz's dismay. Everyone cringed in disgust over that one, especially the girls. Chazz's life points dropped to 100.
"And, being I still have three more Winged Kuribohs, that's game!" Jaylin smirked as the first Winged Kuriboh attacked Chazz directly and his life points dropped to 0. Jaylin placed her two fingers on her forehead, then shot them at Chazz's direction. "GOTCHA!" The crowd stood up and cheered loudly, screaming and whistling.
"AND THE WINNER IS JAYLIN YUKI!" Dr. Crowler announced, everyone cheering for Jaylin's victory.
Jaylin ran to Chazz, then nodded to him, saying, "that was a fun duel!"
"Yeah," Chazz replied, nodding back
"Try not using the same monsters over and over again. It was easy to beat you the first two times, because you kept using the the same monster as your key to victory. It's fine, if you do it once, but when you do it time and time again, it gets really boring."
"I'll try keeping that in mind."
Jaylin and Chazz waved to the crowd, then exited from the auditorium.
A/N: Before you guys start saying, "that is not how Foolish Burial works bla bla bla." I know that, I'm screwing with the rules, because it's my story and I messed up, while writing this and this was the only solution I could think of. Hey, if Kazuki Takahashi can screw with the rules, why can't I?