Why? Why was it always their family? Always them... Why couldn't it be someone else? Anyone else? Why was there so much pain? Why? That was the only question he wanted answered...
Donny swiped at his eyes, trying to clear them so he could see to drive... The streets were blurry, the lights massive colored circles bleeding into everything... It was hard enough to see without the tears...
It was always Leo and Raphael... They always ran out to take the hit... Eager to die if it would save one of the others... Eager to take one for the team... For the family... As much as they fought they were really just the same person... Raphael was a hot head to be sure, but really under all the gruff talk he was the mirror image of Leonardo, loyal, good, brave, fearless... Now, he might lose them both...
Fresh tears ran down his face blinding him... His head throbbed behind his eyes... His throat hurt... He felt cold...
Well, what else do you expect if you never sleep and you are constantly stressed out... Donny didn't care if he was coming down with something... What did it matter? Three of his brothers were hanging by a thread and it was up to him to save them...
There was a copper taste in his mouth... Suddenly he realized he was biting a hole in his cheek...
He spat out the blood...
Almost there...
Vinny and Splinter... Was that really all he would have left? How could any of them survive without Mikey's laugh, without Raph's attitude, without Leo's calming presence... How would they cope if six became three? If it was just himself and Vinny and Splinter?
The foot clan was no more...
Shredder was dead...
And life as he knew it might well be over...
Donny clutched the steering wheel and struggled with the raw panic and fear that was tearing at his insides... He felt like running away from his life, back to some indistinct comforting memory when everything was alright... When no one was hurt... When they were all together...
They were all so young... Donny realized that now like he hadn't before... He liked to think of them all as adults, as masters, as protectors or guardians... Until now he had never considered the possibility that they were not a match for the world... That they were not untouchable immortal heroes... Now he knew... A rude awakening... How fragile they were... How innocent and foolish...
They were not ready... They were not ready to die or to live yet... Everything was happening too soon...
Donny looked at his chewed fingernails... Just bloody stubs... The skin raw and swollen... Funny, he didn't remember ever chewing them...