Hello my darlings. I would like to thank Perdition Raiser, pyroleigh and Guest for the wonderful reviews. I would also like to thank those of you who have followed and favoured since my last update.

So I don't think there are going to be any more flashbacks, but I could be wrong. I think the story will start going forwards from here.

Anyway here is the next chapter, I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.

'There you are smiling in the same old way

Cause maybe it's your wedding day

I see it

Clear as I can see your face

There's someone who steals your heart away'

Honey Bee – by Louden Swain

Castiel spent the next few days processing all Dean had told him, and what he had not said. Once he had returned from the churchyard he had pulled all the photo albums from the shelf until he found the ones which covered his mother's illness. He knew that they were the right ones because as he turned the pages he could see her getting progressively worse, and in most of the pictures she had a bander on her head where her hair had once been. He obsessed over those photos for hours. Stroking her face which even in it pale and drawn state still had a smile shining upon it and love in her eyes. There were pictures of Naomi with all her family, all her children, including Sam. There was even one where Dean was holding Sam's hair over her head making it look like it was hers and everyone was laughing. Even looking at it brought a smile to Castiel's face, even if he didn't remember the time. Looking at the photos showed him that there were good times, even if his mother had been dying, she had done it with dignity and a smile upon her face. It was just as he imaged she would face such a situation. Castiel was glad his imagination was so close to the truth. Of course he knew the photos were bias. There would not be pictures of the bad days or the horror they had all gone through in that time. But maybe Dean was right. Maybe it would be best if he just focused on the good times that were had. The times he could see every time he turned a page.

Castiel had asked Dean to not come by for a few days at the end of the last meeting. He needed some time alone to deal with it all. But by the Tuesday morning all he could think of were the words Dean had said his mother had uttered last. The words, that while he may not have remembered hearing them being spoken, he heard in his head in his mother's voice.

"Live life to the full, do not mourn my passing but celebrate who I am. Never take anything for granted nor waste a moment. Always love each other."

They made him realise what he had been doing. He had been hiding from the world. Trying to pretend nothing had changed, but of course it had. He had lost five years of his life. It was time he accepted that and moved forwards. It was time he started to live once more. Time he stopped wasting time wishing things to be different and accepted how they were. Time to stop depending on others and learn to depend upon himself once more.

As such, when the clock struck twelve Castiel pulled on his coat and taking a deep breath walked out of his door, alone. He would not take Gabriel with him. It was time for him to do this alone. Letting out his breath he closed his front door and turned to look at the view in front of him. It was so familiar, but it was different too. The tree across the way had grown from what he remembered, and the neighbours had a swing set that he knew had not been there five years ago. The little girl in the house had barely been a year old when he had left after all, and yet he remembered Gabriel telling him that now she had a brother as well. Yes things had changed, but it was still home. Deep inside him he knew that to be fact. This was still his home.

With that realisation he stepped off the porch and made his way to the side-walk with more spring than he had thought he would have in his steps. He held his head up high and nodded and smiled at the few people he saw as he walked by. Some he recognised, some were strangers to him. But either way he could still be friendly. That was the right thing to do. He was sure that most people knew what had happened by now, they would understand if he didn't recognise them, but the least he could do was make an effort to show he still cared.

He had no destination in mind, he just walked. That was why he was rather surprised when he found himself opposite a garage he remembered as being Singer's auto repair shop. But now it proudly proclaimed its name to be Novak-Winchester's auto repair shop. The words made him smile slightly ruefully as he remembered waking in the hospital and being called Mr Novak-Winchester and not liking it much at all. Since that time he had not thought of his last name, though if asked he would have said it was Novak alone. He had never even considered asking Dean if he had taken Cas' name, but this definitely answered that. Dean had truly loved Cas very deeply. But now was not the time for thoughts of the past.

With that thought he pulled his eyes from the sign to the man bent over the engine of some car. He was wearing scruffy jeans and a tight tee, and while he had his back to Castiel, he still knew who it was. He had spent much time in Dean's presence since waking after all. As such Castiel found himself crossing the road and moving to stand at the man's side.

"Hello Dean." He said in his deep gravelly voice making Dean jump and turn so quickly Castiel was sure he would fall over. And looking he could see a flicker of hope in the other man's eyes which was quickly masked and replaced with his usual sunny smile.

"Hey Castiel." Dean replied in a cheery tone which luckily only he realised was slightly forced. He had been so engrossed in his work he hadn't heard anyone come up to him. So when he had heard Cas' voice, saying the words the man he loved had said so many times in the same situation as the one they were in now, he had forgotten all about what had happened. About how Cas was gone. All he had thought was that he was gonna see the man he loved again. But as soon as he had turned and looked Cas in the eyes he had known it wasn't him. It was Castiel standing at his side. Though why Castiel was here was a mystery, as well as where the hell Gabriel was.

"what ya doin' here Castiel?" Dean asked after he quickly scanned the nearby area and confirmed that Castiel was indeed alone. What was going on?

"I decided to go for a walk. And ended up here." Castiel replied with a shrug smiling up at Dean and enjoying the puzzled look in his eyes. He hadn't realised it before, but he was fed up with being treated like an invalid. He was a full grown man. It was time Dean and Gabriel both remembered that.

"Where's Gabriel?" Dean asked still confused. Because Castiel did not go for walks alone. I mean he was scared to go to church alone and that was always the place Cas had felt the safest, surely Castiel felt that way too. So what was going on?

"I imagine in my old room working. Why? Do you prefer my brothers company to mine?" Castiel asked innocently though there was a twinkle in his eyes which Dean recognised as soon as he saw it and it made him chuckle.

"Hell no, just…" Dean responded still smiling, but unsure how to brooch the subject of Castiel's recent behaviour and wish to stay away from the real world.

"I am cable of doing things on my own Dean. I felt it was time I exercised that ability." Castiel responded cutting in before Dean could find the words. He knew what he was implying, and he had been afraid of coming outside. Of making himself see the proof of all that had changed. But that was then, this was now. Now he was ready to look forwards, and not back, or at least that was his plan.

"Right then. So what's next on your solo adventure?" Dean asked casually, leaning back against the car he had been working one and picking up the rag and wiping his hands. He hadn't realised how dirty they were before now, so surprised by seeing Castiel that nothing else had mattered. But now he felt his should probably at least try to be semi-clean.

"I honestly have no idea." Castiel responded leaning next to him and tilting his head up towards the sun in an unconscious gesture that reminded Dean painfully of Cas. He had always done that when they had had a period of rain, or cold. Glorying in the suns appearance.

"Well I was thinking of breaking for lunch if ya want to join me. We can sit at separate tables if you wish." Dean replied jokingly as he swallowed the lump he had caught in his throat at the thought of Cas. This wasn't Cas, just he had some of his mannerisms, that was all.

"Don't be silly Dean, and yes, I would like that very much." Castiel responded smiling brightly up at the man next to him. Happy and excited about the idea of another adventure. Yes he would like to have lunch with Dean.

The smile was one Dean could do nothing but return, feeling happy himself that he had been able to put it upon Castiel's face. He had seen too much pain on it recently, they needed some light hearted times. Times where they could get to know each other, Castiel, him and him, Castiel.

"Right well, let me just wash up and we'll go." Dean replied gently pushing away from the car and gesturing towards the back of the garage where they had a wash room.

"Okay." Responded Castiel already turning back to tilting his head skywards with closed eyes and a peaceful smile upon his face.

It was an image Dean knew would stay with him long after this day was over. The image of Castiel for the first time seemingly at peace with the world he had woken to find himself in. It was an image that tugged at something inside of Dean, something he wasn't ready to think about or recognise. But it was something that was there. It had always been there. And it would always be there.