A/N: not much to say here.
Enjoy!
"Hi, Xena." Salmoneus greeted her meekly.
"Never a boring moment with you, is there?" Xena squeezed his shoulder roughly.
"Ahh ha, nope." He cringed away from her.
Xena whipped her head around and as she did, Gabrielle was already in her face. She eyed down and saw that Gabrielle had a wet rag in her hand.
With a flustered breath and an eye roll, "alright."
Gabrielle began to examine her nose so she could assess the damage.
"You'll be fine." Gabrielle handed the rag to Xena, "keep that on there."
Xena did as she was told and when she looked back at Salmoneus he had the most peculiar look on his face.
"If you don't mind, who's this?" He asked.
Xena sat her hand on the blonde's shoulder, "This is Gabrielle."
"Hi," he said nervously.
Later into the day at a tavern...
Xena decided that keeping Salmoneus around wouldn't be so bad. Keeping him around meant keeping him out of trouble for at least the rest of the evening.
As soon as Gabrielle got a moment alone with Salmoneus she felt the need to ask some questions.
"Xena told me she has a reputation around here. What do you think of that?"
"Well it all began when her and Alexander came to stop by. He had let her go out at night and she did as she pleased. That included getting herself into trouble at multiple taverns, brothels, inns, you name it." Before he could continue Gabrielle interrupted him.
"Did you say brothels?" Gabrielle grew a look of concern.
"Don't get mad now. She was like a door knob back then. A door knob with standards. She let people put her hands on her and let them have a turn." Salmoneus refused to make eye contact with Gabrielle now.
Those were her decisions and I have no right or place to judge. "There's got to be more to it. What else?"
"I don't know if she's still got it but she used to have a real short temper. Went off on anyone who tested her waters. Their mistake. My mistake too." He smiled feebly. "She's a walking lie detector. I learned that the hard way."
"I'll take that into consideration, although I have no reason to lie to her, but still." Gabrielle nodded slightly.
"And the thieves here who think they can get away with their little stunts. Not a chance with Xena around." He shook is head.
"Not a chance with what?" Xena asked as she sat down next to Gabrielle.
"You versus thieves, besides Autolycus." Salmoneus disclosed.
"Hmm, yeah... I suppose." Xena grinned at him. "So what are you doing here anyway?"
"Not to suck my own tits or anything but I've been making quite the profit here selling togas."
Gabrielle laughed at his expression. "You're a funny man, Sal."
"I'm told, so what are you two doing here? If I remember correctly, Xena. You like to avoid Corinth." Salmoneus asked her with a mischievous smile.
"Just passing by. Gabrielle's never been here so this is a first for her." Xena explained.
"Passing by? Come on, Xena. Where are you off to?" he prodded.
"Athens."
"Ah going to visit old Alex, huh?"
"Something like that. He died so we're going to visit Roxana."
Salmoneus' smile dropped to a sad mug, "Sorry."
"No harm done, you didn't know."
A thick fog of pink made itself visible and then Aphrodite poofed herself to sit between Xena and Gabrielle.
"Hey there, Dite." Gabrielle was happy to see her goddess friend.
"Hi there," Xena said quietly with a small grin.
Aphrodite looked to Xena, "mama," she turned to Gabrielle, "baby mama." She seemed pleased with herself for saying that.
Xena rolled her eyes, Gabrielle chuckled, and Salmoneus went into a state of shock and confusion.
Somewhat loudly, "You! Xena, you're pregn-," Xena reached arcross the table and covered his mouth with her hand.
"Shut up, would you?! You know what people from here think of me," Xena scolded him. She then sat back down. "I may be over exaggerating but the reason is justifiable and you of all people know that." Her voice was quiet but rough.
"Alright, I'm sorry... so can I assume you are?" He pushed.
"Sure." Xena eyed Gabrielle. "What's that for?" This time she was addressing Aphrodite.
"You two are just too cute. Anyway," Aphrodite turned to Gabrielle, "you wanna go clubbing?"
Everyone exchanged looks to each other at the table.
"Excuse me?" Gabrielle focused on Aphrodite.
"You heard what I said," the goddess giggled.
Gabrielle leaned a bit so she could see Xena's face.
"Come on, your friend here can come along too." Aphrodite then snapped her fingers before anyone could give an answer.
The quartet appeared in a dark but lively bar. Colored lights streamed about the entire area and loud music played, but it wasn't anything they had ever heard before.
They were all dressed differently too. Fancy but not Ancient Greece fancy. Like twenty first century fancy but of course they didn't know that. The three of them were obviously confused and wondered why they were there.
Salmoneus wore a blue, fitted button up shirt and black dress pants.
Xena wore a black leather corset and blue jeans with heels that would hurt if you were to be kicked by the person who wore them.
Gabrielle wore a black, scoop necked, long sleeved shirt but a fraction of it had been cut off and showed her stomach and she wore denim shorts that were also cut very high up and the edges were frayed, she also wore chucks instead of heels like Xena.
There was a dramatic difference in height between the three of them.
Aphrodite on the other hand, wore a pink tank top that was also cropped like Gabrielle's shirt, with white pants and CFM pumps.
Yeah, they sure did look like a motley crew.
People danced all around them to the music that seemed to pulse all throughout the establishment. The bass was obviously turned up a decent amount because the vibrations could be felt from anywhere they stood.
Trying to yell over the music to Aphrodite, Xena exclaimed at her, "where are we?"
Instead of having to yell like Xena did, Aphrodite motioned for the trio to follow her to a magical place called The Ladies Room.
Once the door shut they all stood infront of the mirror.
"What's all this about?" Xena asked Aphrodite who was touching up her face.
The goddess looked at Xena in the mirror. "You guys need to have some fun before your little one makes their grand arrival."
"I understand that but really?" Xena gestured to herself, "you had to do it like this?"
"Xena, you should be thanking me. It won't be long until you can't fit into that little number." Aphrodite's shoulders dropped once she saw the look on Xena's face. "Everyone deserves to feel sexy. Including you, warrior babe. And if I know a thing or two about being knocked up, which I do, is that you won't feel like it even when your honeybunch," she placed her hand on Gabrielle's shoulder, "thinks you're smokin'."
"I think I'm with her on this one. She's got a point," Gabrielle said.
"I think so too!" A woman said from behind a stall.
Another had just come out from a stall, "you guys are so beautiful, oh my god! You all look like princesses." The woman said as she moved between them to get to the sink.
"Thank you!" Aphrodite said with a giggle.
The woman finished washing her hands and then left.
Xena and Gabrielle made eye contact in the mirror and they both looked at Aphrodite.
"What year is it? Where are we?" Gabrielle asked as she glared.
"Mmm, 2019. January, I believe." The goddess refused to even glance at either of them. "Back in the good ole USA."
"Dite! What the heck!?" Gabrielle stomped her foot down to emphasize her frustration.
"What? You can't this kind of clubbing done in Ancient Greece! You guys saw what it's like out there and it's so much fun once you get really start getting into it." Aphrodite shakes her hips a little. "Come on! Just give it a try. Billie and Lisa love this kind of stuff."
"Our future selves like this?" Xena asked.
"Super like. Let's all go out there so you can see why. Yeah?"
Xena defeatedly sighed, "I guess it wouldn't hurt." She looked at Salmoneus, "you've been quiet. What do you think?"
He seemed to be in his own head but came back to reality. "Who am I to turn down a party!"
"That's the spirit!" Aphrodite clapped her hands together. "But we need to establish some rules here." She looked at Xena, "no alcohol for the hot mama," she looked at Gabrielle and handed her a wad of cash, "take it easy on the alcohol. These future drinks aren't like the ones back home. And, like, don't get wine."
"Why not?" The blonde asked.
"They don't have the time for that and there's too much movement, you'll spill." Aphrodite turned to Salmoneus, "and you... the ladies here can be just as tough as these two. So hands off unless you're invited. Now, I don't think that'll be a problem. Some of these girls now a days have a thing for older men."
Salmoneus chuckled at that. A moment later two women came into the bathroom, one followed the other into the stall.
One sounded sick, "hold my hair back."
The other responded, "bitch, that is a wig."
The four shared glances with each other.
"Are they all like that?" Salmoneus whispered.
"Sometimes. Cute ain't it?" Aphrodite giggled. "Alright, let's get our freak on."
And they all left the ladies room.
Walking back out, it felt like nothing had changed, music kept playing, people were dancing and drinking, others sat at the bar drinking and talking.
Gabrielle admitted to herself that this did seem like fun and it'd be an experience to talk about later.
Xena let loose a little too. She figured the goddess of love was right.
We're having fun tonight. Xena grabbed onto Gabrielle's hand and appreciated the given squeeze as a positive response.
Before they went into the crowded area they observed how everyone moved their bodies. It was strange to them because some seemed similar to what they knew and others looked completely weird and unusual.
They sort of looked for the most common movement people were doing and tried to blend in so they wouldn't get any strange looks.
Once they figured it out they had it down in no time. They danced a little two step face to face and though it wasn't extravagant they enjoyed it. They'd switch it up here and there adding a little bit of this and that.
A few minutes in, Aphrodite came back over to them with small, filled glasses in her hands. She handed one to Gabrielle and kept the other for herself.
"What's this?" Gabrielle had to shout.
"You find out on the count of three!" Aphrodite singsonged.
Gabrielle gave a shrug and went along.
Aphrodite counted to three and they both downed the alcohol.
The goddess was fine. Gabrielle wasn't. She sort of cringed up and contorted her face into one that signified her displeasure. Greatly.
The blonde dry heaved, "what the fuck?!"
"That grey goose got ya girl feeling loose," Aphrodite moved and sang along to the song that blared throughout the club. "Don't worry, you'll want another in like five minutes."
The night went on and Aphrodite was right. Gabrielle did have some more. She did very well for herself though. Xena kept by her side the whole time but the more Gabrielle had to drink the less she had to worry about that. She'd get closer and closer.
Aphrodite and Salmoneus tapped out for about ten minutes, stood at the bar and watched their friends dance.
"Who knew they could be this... uh vulgar. Especially in a place like this." Salmoneus commented. "I didn't think Xena was capable of doing that."
"She has many skills," Aphrodite tried to mimic Xena. "They don't seem like that couple. Ya know what I mean?" She nudged Salmoneus with her elbow.
Salmoneus looked back at Xena and Gabrielle whom appeared to be feeling the y'all woman up. "I know."
Too close for a public place, perhaps?
Maybe for Xena.
At first she went with it and was definitely into it but soon as it started to get heavier and heavier, she forced Gabrielle to start drinking water.
Salmoneus did shoot his shot and was invited to dance with some... middle aged women. He didn't have them in mind at first but he just went with it and enjoyed himself.
"You are beautiful. You know that?" Gabrielle said as Xena had her sit down on a bar stool.
"You tell me all the time." Xena sat down next to her.
"So how come I got these and you got those?" Gabrielle pointed to the shoes she wore. "You'd think it'd be the other way around."
"I know and it makes it even harder for you to reach me." Xena poked at her.
"Yeah, you just wait til I get you alone."
"What're you gonna do? Take the heels off me?" Xena taunted.
"That's not all I'm gonna take off," Gabrielle muttered.
Aphrodite came up to them.
"Hey babes, I'm gonna zap Salmon boy home. Give me a few minutes." She turned around to go look for Salmoneus.
"Why is she zapping is back too?" Gabrielle rolled her head.
"I'm not sure. I have a feeling we're not done here. Or at least in this... strange land." Xena pursed her lips together.
A few minutes passed and Aphrodite came back just like she said she would.
"You two ready to hit the road?"
"I guess. Where are we going?" Xena asked.
"It's a surprise." Aphrodite motioned for them to follow her. She led them to the main entrance and they stepped outside. It was freezing.
"This late?" Xena looked around. "Where are we?"
"Oh come on! This weather doesn't give you a single clue? I'd expect that from the drunken sweet pea not you warrior babe."
Xena thought for a second as they stood outside on the snowy sidewalk. Gabrielle started to lean against her.
"Why'd you bring us here?" Xena glared at the cold goddess.
"You'll see. This is all in both of y'alls favor."
"Are you saying that we'll benefit from this?"
Aphrodite raised an eyebrow. "Do we look sickening?"
"What? I don't know I think we look somewhat decent. Can we get someplace warm please?"
"You're lucky I set you up with leather. Otherwise everyone would see those diamond cutters of yours."
Aphrodite snapped her fingers and the three of them disappeared.
They all reappeared in a familiar kitchen.
Aphrodite signaled for them to be quiet but Gabrielle seemed to be having a hard time because every move she made she felt the need to give it a sound effect. Rounding the corner from the kitchen and to the living room, Aphrodite stopped and that caused Xena and Gabrielle to walk into her.
She could tell that the lights had been on before they arrived.
"You're not very good at being stealthy. You know that right?"
Billie and Lisa stood next to each other. Billie wore a grey t-shirt and black shorts. Lisa wore a short, dark blue satin robe that partially covered a white tank top and pink thigh high shorts. Ugh, and they looked sleepy too. Adorable.
"Dite... do you know what time it is?" Lisa asked.
Aphrodite looked around the room for a clock.
"It's 3:46. And I didn't need your help reading that damn clock." She seemed proud of herself.
"I'm glad. So what's the big idea?" Billie crossed her arms.
Aphrodite moved over to Xena and Gabrielle. She pointed to Gabrielle first, "drunk," then to Xena, "tired and expecting."
Billie sighed heavily. "I've never been a rude hostess and I'm not going to start now. I think we're all tired. You two have the guest room and you," She pointed at Aphrodite, "you do whatever it is you do." Her tone was similar to that of Freddie from the first live action Scooby Doo movie.
The goddess rolled her eyes and winked at Lisa. "I'll be back in the morning." She snapped and dematerialized.
"Follow us." Billie instructed them and they followed her up the stairs.
"So how'd you guys get ahold of our clothes?" Lisa asked.
"These are yours?" Gabrielle retorted.
"Well... yeah. They fit you both perfectly." Lisa smiled proudly.
"I think that was the work of a certain goddess of love." Billie added on and then opened the door to the guest room and allowed everyone in.
"You guys want something to sleep in? Or do you two sleep in the buff yet?" Billie asked. She was going to lend them a set of light clothes to sleep in.
Xena had a look of confusion on her face. Gabrielle was in her own head.
"Okay, y'all aren't there yet. No problem. I'll be right back." Billie left the room.
At this point, Gabrielle stretched herself out directly across the bed. Xena and Lisa sat next to her on each side.
"You guys had fun, huh?" She looked to Gabrielle who had her eyes shut. "I see she did."
Xena didn't want to admit it but she thought about it and technically she talking to Gabrielle. She nodded, "Yeah. It was fun."
"That's good because she loves doing stuff like that with you," said Lisa.
Billie came back in with a short stack of clothes and handed them to Xena.
"We'll talk in the morning. Get some sleep."