Hello my lovely readers, I am very sorry for such a late update but I haven't been feeling too well as of late, but I am so happy to be carrying with the sotry. I would love to hear what you all think of the story. Please leave reviews if you wish. :) Hope you enjoy. X

Lily's heart was beating so rapidly when they pulled up in front of another impressive looking house. It was big of course, not as big as Wammy's.

The driver opened up the car door; she awkwardly shuffled her way out and thanked him.

She couldn't help feeling cold and a little anxious as she took a closer inspection of the house.

It was a modern looking house with little character she thought, and wait did some of the windows have bars on them? This certainly did not give off the same welcoming atmosphere as Wammy's house had done the moment she arrived there. There were no plants or flowers in the yard; it was all stone and coldness.

As the driver took her bag inside she followed slowly behind him. Her anxiety had been building up over the journey for one main reason... L hadn't texted her back, not once since the last time...She had sent him a text saying she was on her way to him, nothing, then halfway through the journey she had sent another to say how much she was looking forward to seeing him, but still came no reply.

Call her over dramatic but she felt as if her heart was breaking, all the silence was tearing her apart.

It had been Watari who had called and asked her to come to L because he wanted to see her. She leapt at the chance but then her happiness faltered when she asked how L was to which Watari replied, 'It will be better for you to see for yourself Miss Everly.'

His tone had sounded deeper than usual and it sent her into a frenzy inside, she had at least had him admit that L was still alive, but he needed to see her urgently. The word urgently never sat right with her, it usually meant something was wrong.

As soon as she entered the hallway it she heard beeping noises everywhere, it sounded as if she were in a spacecraft, to be specific, Star Trek.

The wooden floor was a nice chocolate brown she thought to herself as she followed the driver into another room.

'Please take a seat Miss Everly, I am sorry no one has seen to you but we don't usually house staff in this location.'

'That's fine no problem, will you let Watari know I am here?'

The driver smiled and pointed his white, gloved hand above them to the corner of the room. 'He already knows.'

Lily followed the driver's point and smirked when she noticed the camera 'Of course.' and chuckles.

Watari smiled sadly as he watched Lily for a moment sitting alone in the reception room. She looked anxious; he dreaded to think what she would be like when she saw L.

He got up and walked into L's room. He sat up as fast as he could when he saw him and winced a little in pain.

It always broke Watari's heart to see him in pain and the guilt that flooded him seem to hit him harder each time L survived another attack on his life.

'She is here, shall I send her in?' Watari asked keeping his tone calm hiding the pain he was feeling.

Without hesitation L answered, 'Yes lease Watari.' He looked haunted and it wasn't to do with the bullet hole in his back.

L watched Watari nod and walk out the room.

His heart was pounding in his weakened chest and it hurt, he took a deep breath and remembered his meditation techniques. It started to help straight away.

He continued the breathing as he heard footsteps coming towards his room, he had to keep calm this was going to be difficult if he allowed his emotions to get the better of him. He was doing this for her own well being, not his own. He had to put her first.

Lily steps in with a meek smile. Was she shy?

His heart missed a beat when she steps fully in the room, she was so beautiful, her hair was down and she wore a beautiful blue dress that puffed out at the knees, also red shoes with small heels and an orchard coloured cardigan that glittered. She had made an effort to look beautiful for him, but she was beautiful whatever she wore.

'I'll leave you two alone then, I'll bring in some tea later on.' Watari said as he closed the door.

Lily turned to him and smiled, 'Thank you Watari.' She said sweetly.

Watari nodded and then gave L a glance. If L didn't know better it was a warning...

L swallowed nervously, he didn't want to say the things he had to say, he didn't want to break her heart...

'Oh my god L.' Lily dropped her bag and came rushing towards him. She took his hand and gently squeezed it. The pulse of electricity hit him instantly as their hands connected, he missed this feeling.

He watched her looked over him with her eyes wide with worry, 'What happened? Were you shot?' She asked now looking at him in the eyes.

He took a breath in but realised he was breathless; she had such an effect on him it was mad, he swallowed and realised how dry his mouth was.

Lily looked over to the table next to his bed and picked up the glass with a straw, he didn't even have to ask her.

'Here.' She said as she carefully held the straw in place for him to drink.

She watched him, always with her concerned eyes but they were full of love, how was he going to go through with this he thought? He didn't want to, he wanted to be selfish and keep her with him no matter the danger, but he had to think of her, he had to put her first.

He finished with the water and she put it down again on the table.

She looked back to him and lent in a little. 'Can I kiss you?' She asked ever so sweetly.

He cleared his throat, he wanted nothing more, he wanted to grab her and bring her lips down to him, he wanted to consume her with kisses, but he couldn't, why make things harder than they are already?

'It's best you don't...' He rasped.

She leant back immediately, 'Oh would it be too painful? What happened L? Please tell me.' She couldn't hide the look of sadness in her eyes.

'I was shot in the back, I didn't even realise until we were in the car driving away. It just felt as if someone had pushed me against the car, but then Suri noticed the blood.'

'Oh my god.' She shook her head and looked at the heart monitor that had been unplugged. 'Shouldn't you have that plugged in?' She asked still concerned.

L blushed a little then, he had unplugged himself purposefully so she wouldn't how fast she would make his heart beat; yes cowardly and pathetic on his part, but he wanted to seem as calm as possible.

'I am out of the danger zone as Watari put it, plus I have my panic button.' He held up a big red button that was wired to the monitor. 'It's quite small for a panic button really.' Why did he joke? This was no time to...

Lily suddenly burst out a laugh and then put a hand over her mouth. He could see tears start to well up in her eyes. 'I'm Glad you haven't lost your sense of humour' She said wiping her tears away. She couldn't hold back how relived she was that he was still alive and the fact he had made a joke well, that was a very good sign. She felt overwhelmed.

He smiled then, he loved her laugh, her smile she was perfect and she loved him, why did she have to love him?

They stared at each other; he couldn't help looking at her lips, he tried to keep his eyes on her but they always lowered onto her lips, he was desperate to kiss her, it might be the last kiss...

She looked at his also and leant in a little more being very careful not to lean on him.

He didn't stop her, he should have, again he was being selfish, but he had to kiss her again.

She tentatively touched her lips to his, it was the softest kiss she had ever given and it was certainly not enough for him.

He suddenly griped her arms and pulled her down for a harder kiss, she was careful not to put her hands upon him and kept them to his sides.

He didn't care that there was a camera that Watari and Suri could observe with disapproving glares; but he loved this woman and he had the right to kiss her.

They each moaned a little against each other's lips, he didn't want to release her. He didn't care that he was running out of breath.

It was she who broke the kiss first, she was panting a little and giggled, 'I need air' she wiggled from his grip and pulled the chair and sat down next to him, again entwining her hand in his.

Tears couldn't stop streaming from her eyes; that had been such a desperate kiss from the both of them, it broke her heart to see him in this way but she had to remain strong. From that kiss alone she could tell he was regaining some of his strength back as he had held on to her with a vice like grip. She had loved it but then felt his energy was different, it almost felt like a kiss goodbye, so she had to break it off, breath or not.

He stared at her, he watched her again wipe tears away. How was he going to say this?

'Lily...'he started.

She looked up at him and smiled weakly. 'Yes?'

'I sent for you because I have to say something...'

'Okay.' She sat very still.

He breathed in wincing at the pain again, he felt her grip tighten on his hand but she didn't say anything. 'I almost died, the bullet narrowly missed my heart and major arteries, it was a close one, closer than I have ever come to being killed.'

She gasped a little and shook her head. 'My god L.' She said her voice breaking a little.

'This is the reason why I have asked you to come, I...I think it would be best if you went home to your mother...' Those words really had a hard time coming out of his mouth.

She shot her head up and the look of hurt on her face was enough to break him. 'What? You want me to go?' She asked almost whispering.

He bit his lip and quickly released it, 'yes, I think it's best.'

'Why? Because you almost died? You don't believe I can handle it?' Her tone was changing, it was sounding more desperate and angry.

'I know you are strong Lily, you have so much strength.'

'Please don't patronise me L.' She cut him off defensively and released his hand. He didn't show it but he really hated that she did that.

'I am not patronising you Lily, I speak only the truth, and you know that, you know me...'

'I do and I know why you are doing this.'

'You do?'

'Yes, you believe I am too weak to be with someone like you, your life is always in danger and you could be killed at any moment.'

'Yes I really could be Lily, I am always going to be hunted, always going to be looking over my shoulder and if you were to stay with me you would too. They will want to hurt you to get to me, we have spoken like this before and you insisted to remain with me.'

'Because I love you fool.' She said shaking her head.

'I know you do and I shouldn't have allowed things to get so far.'

'You can't control everything L, you think you can, you even try and control your own emotions but sometimes they come out of nowhere, when least expect them, like love.'

He didn't know what to say to that.

'We never planned for any of this to happen between us but it did and it's an amazing and sometimes frightening thing.' She continued.

'Why is it frightening? He said not really understanding what she meant.

'It is frightening because love feels amazing, almost intoxicating, you become addicted to the feeling and then fear creeps in; the fear of losing your partner or losing the elated feeling the other gives you or having someone else come in and try to wreck everything between the two of you...'

The both shared a knowing look.

'That's what I am trying to make clear to you Lily, that life with me will always be up and down, it will always be frightening, tense and stressful.'

'I think I have come to that conclusion already L...'

'And I don't want to want anything happening to you!' He suddenly yells.

The room falls silent, he looks down trying to hide the pain in his chest, he didn't know what was causing the pain, the bullet or the stress of this conversation.

After a few tense moments in silence Lily started to speak, 'I know you're scared L...'

He looked at her, her eyes were kind but she didn't smile.

'I know why you are saying the things you are and I realise what danger I am in just by being with you.'

'That may be so Lily but can you really cope with seeing my like this on a regular basis?' He opened his arms out gesturing to himself. 'Do realise I was in a coma before I came around? Watari thought this was it, that I wouldn't wake up. Do you know where I would have stayed if I didn't wake up?' His voice cracked a little, the fear of the Shinigami suddenly surfacing.

Lily noticed the horror on his face. 'Where L, where did you go?'

'It doesn't matter, you are missing the point, all I know is that no sane minded person would stay with me, love or not. I will be killed one day; I have come so close already. And when they can't get to me they will come for you, do you really wan to live like that because of me? Because you want to be with me?'

He was shaking now, he knew he was yelling but he couldn't hold it back, if he had enough energy he would shake her in an attempt to make her see sense, he was also on the verge of breaking down, he didn't want to see her go, he just wanted to hold her, to keep her safe but he knew he couldn't because of who he was.

Lily didn't say anything again and stood up suddenly, his heart when to his throat this was it he thought, she was leaving him.

But she didn't leave the room instead she started pacing in front of his bed in deep thought, she put her hands on her hips as she continued walking from one side of the room to the other. 'Do you believe in karma L?' She asked without looking at him.

'Yes.' He said without hesitation, he certainly did he had witnessed his fair share of it.

'Me too, but I also believe that karma isn't just about punishment, it's about learning from your mistakes, for being a coward, for being selfish, unkind or dishonest.'

'You are none of those things.' He demanded.

She stops and smiles at him causing his heart to painfully skip a beat, she had to stop doing that to him.

'Now look who is being blinded by love hnm?' She giggled a little and continued pacing side to side. 'I have been selfish, I have been a coward and I have said awful things in the past, all these actions have come back to me out of karma...and I have just realised what being with you has taught me or is still teaching me.'

'What?'

She stops and looks at him from the foot of his bed, 'To find my bravery, my warrior within, as cheesy as that sounds this relationship with had thrown me into the front line of war so to speak. I have always been a coward L, always hidden away when things become too difficult, I still suffer from anxiety and awful panic attacks because I find it hard and near enough impossible to face my own fears.'

'So you're stating being with me keeps you in a state of fear?' He asked a little too coldly.

'It doesn't keep me in a state of fear, but it has pushed me out of my comfort zone that I have always run back into. Being with you L helps me become stronger... I suppose you can say I am using you for my own benefit...' She smirks and winks.

His heart flutters, she was truly amazing and baffling at the same time, he holds down the urge to smirk and looks down at his fingers. 'And what if I die? You understand there is a very high percentage of this occurring; I would say around sixty percent, eighty if I am on a case.'

She walks back to his side, and sits down on the bed now, his feels the desire start to awaken within him; this woman had too much power of him he thought.

'I'll admit the thought of losing you is an unbearable one and I don't ever want to think of it, but I would rather spend as much time as we have together, however long that may be, instead or running away, back to a life without you, because L Lawliet, there is no getting over you I am afraid you are stuck with me however long you want me for, unless you cheat on me then I will go all bunny boiler on you.' She smirked and raised an eyebrow.

'Bunny boiler?' He frowned confused.

'Right you don't know films, well let's just say I'll go crazy and I'll probably end up killing you.' She says trying not to smirk again.

'I don't even know how to be in a relationship let alone have another one on the side, besides how could I possibly even think about doing such a thing to you, how could you even think of me like that?' he says all too seriously.

Lily rolls her eyes, he obviously missed the joke. 'I don't, it was a just a warning detective because you should realise what you have gotten yourself into as well. I am no picnic, I can be a handful, erratic and well just a little over dramatic at times; I should be asking you if you want me in your life? You have your own way of doing things, and now with me in the way well, it may become a little more complicated...'

'You're never in the way Lily and I was not living, I was just being L but you, you have awakened something within me that I have always been fascinated about but I have never wanted to explore.'

'Why not?' She asked trying to keep the smile from her lips because what he has just said has been so wonderful but she didn't want to go all school girl on him again.

He shrugged, 'I have never found a reason too.' He said slowly taking her hand into his.

She smiled, 'so...does this mean I can stay? Or do you still want to send me away?'

'It's not a joke Lily; I was trying to do the right thing.' He says huffing a little.

'I know and I love you for it truly I do, but do you understand why I don't want to leave?'

He looks at her shyly, 'Because you foolishly love me?' He says quietly.

'Yep, that's about it.' She smiled.

He finally allowed himself to smile back at her, 'this wasn't the way I had planned for this to go...you are full of surprises.'

'I take that as a compliment as I realise it is not an easy task to surprise you detective.'

'Indeed.' He glanced down at her lips again.

She blushed a little, 'you don't realise what you do to me when you look at me like that.'

'Like how?'

'The heat in your eyes, it's overwhelming, it makes me think of naughty things...'

'I know the feeling.' His voice was now laced with arousal.

'Oh bloody hell, how long will it take for you to recover?' She asked trying to control her own arousal, he looked like he could devour her and she would gladly comply.

'I...I should be feeling better in a couple of weeks according to Watari, but one never really knows how long healing can take.'

'Two weeks? That's a while to wait and you might not be ready by then...'

'Ready?'

'I mean better...' She blushed furiously, how could she even think about finally having him when he was lying in bed with a bullet wound in the back?'

He sighed dramatically, 'I am not one for patience either; perhaps you can help things move a little faster?'

She smirked again, 'How could I do that?'

He stroked her face, then her neck and proceeded moving his hand lower down to her collar bone...'

Watari suddenly rushed in making the both of them jump. Lily so much so she jumped up from the bed feeling flustered.

'Tea?' Watari announced holding a silver tray with a beautiful Jade green Asian tea set.

'Yes thank you.' Lily said composing herself again.

L just cleared his throat and pressed another button on his bed to have a tray move out in front of him.

They both watched Watari both pour some green tea, trying their best to avoid each other's eyes.

'I gather you are staying with us Miss Everly?' Watari said ever so casually.

'I would like too if that's alright with you?' Lily asked smiling sweetly.

'Of course, it would be helpful to have someone else wait on L hand and foot. Gives me time to tidy this place up.'

L smirked as did Lily.

'Then I am happy to be useful.' Lily said receiving a small green cup from Watari.

'Sugar L?' Watari asked already dipping the spoon in the sugar bowl.

'Oh no wait! I have brought you something.' Lily said stopping Watari's hand before he could put sugar into L's cup.

She ran and picked up her bag and brought it back to them. She pulled out a bottle of what looked like syrup.

'What's that?' Asked L.

'It's agave nectar, I told you I wanted you to try a sugar substitute, you said you would.' She pouted.

He smirked, he loved when she did that, 'Very well, if you insist.' He rolled his eyes.

She smiled and squirted the syrup into his cup.

Both she and Watari watched him take a sip; Lily clenched her hands together hopefully.

L looked up in thought, then took another sip and licked his lips.

'Well?' Watari asked.

L smiled and looked at Lily, 'that's really good, very sweet I can't tell the difference.'

Lily smiled feeling triumphal.

'Well I am glad I was around to see the day L have something other than sugar in his tea...' Watari said smirking.

'So am I.' L said reaching for Lily's hand, again not concerning himself with what Watari thought.

Watari cleared his throat and stepped back a little giving them space. 'I shall go and prepare lunch then.'

'Thank you.' They both said in unison never taking their eyes from one another.

Watari nods and walks out the room, he closed the door behind him finally allowing himself to smile.