Chapter Twenty Six
Paine sighed with relief when Gippal pulled the tarp material off of her gift. "For a second I really thought you were going to put spinners on it."
Gippal chuckled. "I was this close." He put his thumb and pointer finger together as he stepped away from Paine's "new" car. "Happy Belated, Dr. P." He tossed her the car keys.
Paine caught them and grinned, Gippal had really outdone himself. She had given him a deadline, and like the trooper he was, it was finished. Well it looked finished at least. "Let's take it for a test drive."
##
"Did she say what he said?"
"No she didn't say much, just come over alright?"
Rikku grabbed her keys and headed out the door. "Uhuh…" She nodded as she made it to her car on the side of the street. "Yeah I'm on my wa—"Just the loud base of rap music confided by metal and two doors came cursing down her street.
Paine nodded at Gippal as they rounded the corner to Rikku's street. "The breaks work great!"
"What?"
"I said the breaks work!" Paine slowed down when she spotted Rikku near her car.
"Not till tonight!"
"What?"
Rikku furrowed her eyebrows. "What in the…" The navy blue two door with semi tinted windows came to a stop right beside her. She clutched her car keys uneasily. It wasn't until the passenger windows and the music was lowered that she laughed. "I'll be right there Yunie." She said hanging up with her cousin.
"Cid's girl! Get in man!" Gippal hopped out of the car and lifted the front seat.
"You guys can't play music that loud here, someone might call the cops." Rikku joked as she walked over to the car admiring the new paint job and body repairs. Paine had been so excited that morning to pick it up. She tilted her head to see Paine sitting in the driver's seat wearing her sunglasses. Rikku just laughed a little.
"Princess." She greeted with a little smile.
"Well aren't you two just too cool for school." Rikku said hopping into the small backseat. It had that new car smell and everything. "Pypo." She gripped the back of Paine's seat and leaned forward to press a kiss on her cheek.
"You like it?" Paine asked turning the music down further. Gippal hopped back into the car and closed the door. She stared at him until he buckled his seatbelt and then looked back at her girlfriend.
Rikku looked around at the deep gray interior, it fitted Paine well. A large smile tugged onto her lips when she noticed the hooded chocobo plushie sitting on the middle of the dash near the front window. "This isn't the same car." She must have missed a lot, because the only thing similar about the two cars was that they were both two doors and had blue paint on them.
"Yeah it is, check this out." Gippal nodded and reached a hand over Paine's arm to press a button.
"A sunroof?" Rikku laughed as the blue summer sky opened above her. "I don't even have a sunroof!"
"That's cause your old man is boring. Come to me when you want an upgrade."
Paine laughed. "Shut up." She had started to drive again. "Gippal thinks he is an automotive genius or something now."
Rikku laughed. "I'll let you know, Gip."
"Where were you going, I'll drive you." Paine motioned to the road ahead of them.
"Lulu's"
##
Paine was admiring the length of Rikku's hair at a distance.
"…And she just walks in and starts screaming and Lulu freaks out! Lulu! Freaks out!"
"I heard you." Paine nodded when Rikku turned to look at her. "Bitch is freaking out."
"I mean I know it's a lot, too much maybe, but this is my hair!"
"Told you I'd never trust her with a blade to my head." Paine shook her head.
"It looks perfectly okay, Rikku, you can't even notic—" Yuna was here too, Paine was kind of glad, she wouldn't know how to handle Rikku if she wasn't.
"She zugged me!"
Both Paine and Yuna began to chuckle at the hysterical blonde. "She zugged me, and I can't be mad because, she's pregnant." Rikku pouted as she went back brushing her hair in the mirror.
"I don't know why that's stopping you. You know she yelled at a little kid at the zoo, Yuna?" Paine asked from her spot on Rikku's bed.
"I didn't yell at him!"
"I'm not surprised." Yuna sighed and snatched the brush out of Rikku's hands. "Keep that up and you'll be bald." Rikku glared lightly at her cousin.
"I don't date bald girls." Paine warned. Yuna laughed.
Rikku snatched the brush back from Yuna and went into her bathroom. "You guys are not even funny."
Yuna turned to Paine and made a hand gesture towards the bathroom.
Paine grew confused. "What?" She asked quietly.
"Tell her she looks nice."
Paine nodded and then cleared her throat "Rikku! You look nice!"
"Shut up, you're just saying that!"
"See?" Paine shook her head as she went back to looking at the university's new recreation center pamphlet. She was going to be working the front desk tomorrow, which meant nothing but stupid freshman, asking stupid questions, that they could easily read for themselves, but they don't, because they are stupid.
"Can we look past your hair for a moment?" Yuna stepped closer to the open bathroom door, when she realized Paine was going to be of no help.
"Yunie, it's the first day of school…"
"Of college, Rikku, you'll be graduating this summer."
"Don't remind me." Rikku made a face and turned back to the mirror. She had no idea what was going to happen to her once she graduated. Last fall the plan had been so simple. She would graduate and then go to law school, and then take over the family business. But then Auron happened, and then Paine happened, and then she realized that the things she wanted before weren't at all what she wanted now. She glanced at her cousin.
Yuna saw it on her face and decided to tackle the easiest problem first. "Here, I'll fix it. C'mon." She went to sit on the edge of the bed and Rikku sat on the ground in front of her. "I'll just braid that area," She explained wondering why she hadn't thought of that before. What was one more braid and some crafty layering?
"Thanks Yunie."
The room fell quiet and then pretty soon sounds of the evening took over the silence. After Yuna was done she went over to Rikku's desk and sat down to look on her laptop. Rikku got up and crawled onto the bed to sit innocently beside Paine. "So don't you want to hear what really happened?" The blonde finally asked nudging Paine softly.
Paine turned and looked at Rikku. "Yeah, but I was going to wait till you calmed down first."
"Well I'm calm."
"What happened?"
"So she's doing my hair right?" Paine nodded. "And her mom just kinda bursts in the room and asks her if she's pregnant, just like that, right Yunie?"
Yuna nodded. "It was rather sudden, and I have to hand it to her, if I were cutting your hair I would have taken off a whole lot more than she did."
Rikku nodded. "So then Lulu is all like, how did you find out?"
"How did she find out?"
"You've never met Lulu's mother." Yuna shook her head.
"She's like… She's like the evil villainesses on cartoons, who are really pretty, but would kill a hundred and one puppies for their fur."
Paine made a face.
"Oh, don't listen to Rikku." Yuna shook her head. "But she is rather… Sharp."
"Like Lulu." Paine nodded not at all surprised.
"Yeah." Rikku nodded quickly. "But Lulu is capable of love… I think."
Yuna laughed. "Her mother is just very… very…."
"Very Lulu." Rikku nodded. "I mean Lulu is like a seven, her mom is like an eleven."
"On a scale from what to what?" Paine asked.
"From one to Lulu."
"You guys are confusing the hell out of me." Paine admitted.
"Anyway! So Apparently Lulu told her dad, and he asked her mother if she noticed anything off about her."
"So naturally she thinks she's pregnant." Paine said shaking her head.
Yuna nodded. "They get into an argument on who the father is, and Lulu just packs up and leaves."
"She didn't tell her it was Wakka?" Paine asked.
"Didn't have a chance to, She looked pissed. Right Yunie?"
"Right. Her mother really didn't give her a chance to say much."
"Then that's when you picked me up." Rikku poked Paine in the arm.
"Shit, that's rough. I should text Wakka. Wonder if he'll be at school tomorrow."
"He has to be right? Blitz showcase and all. He's the captain." Rikku reminded.
"It's going to be hard for them…" Yuna thought aloud. She really wished she could be there now, but she knew Lulu and Wakka had some things to work out.
Rikku remembered her cousin's worries. "But we'll be there right? Let's go see how she's doing at lunch."
She nodded. "That's a good idea. It's going to be overly crowded tomorrow anyway. Paine, would you like to come?"
"I have class from twelve to two thirty, and I don't like—" Rikku gave her a look. "I don't know Lulu that well… if anything I could see what Wakka's doing before I leave campus."
"Yeah, that's a good idea. We're gonna be aunties y' know, gotta start early." Rikku grinned.
Yuna chuckled. "Lulu was saying sometime around January or February. I hope everything is resolved long before then though."
"Aw, they should have a Valentines baby."
"Do you guys think they're ready?" Paine asked.
Yuna was quiet for a second. "I think that kid is going to have the two best parents in all of Spira."
Rikku nodded. "I hardly see them together but when I do, it's like… It's like you can feel the love between them. Lulu starts smiling and stuff, Wakka's so good for her. That little girl or boy is going to know love, and that's the most important thing for little babies y'know?" She smiled lightly at Paine. "That they are welcomed into this crazy world with lots of muja."
##
"And then I have Design 2…" Rikku whispered.
Paine picked her head up gently. "Not one?"
"I sent some of my stuff in and they said I could skip it."
"How come you didn't tell me?"
Rikku shrugged softly in the dark. "I wanted to see if I could do it."
"I knew you could." Paine whispered.
Rikku smiled and turned around in Paine's arms to face her. "I knew you knew. I just needed to know."
Paine nodded. "So you're going to go and kick ass."
"You can't kick ass at design class." Rikku chuckled softly.
Paine shrugged with a little smile on her face. "What else?"
"Well then lunch with Yunie. Then back on campus for Legal frame work 4, and then I'm done for the day."
"At four right?" Rikku nodded. "Me too."
Rikku grinned as she scooted closer to Paine. "Funny how that just happened to work out like that again this semester."
"I know, I think it's a sign."
"We should definitely get together." Rikku laughed a little before leaning her weight on her elbow and kissing Paine softly.
"I don't know, I think my girlfriend might get pissed." Paine thought aloud when they separated.
Rikku giggled. "What she won't know..." She planted another kiss on Paine's lips. She really couldn't help it, they were perfect. "C'mon, I've seen the way you look at me."
Paine chuckled and played along. "Her dad would kill me if I hurt her…"
Rikku rolled her eyes. "What's a little Paine for a little Rikku?"
Paine burst out laughing at that and Rikku tried to shush her while giggling. Cid didn't know Paine was over tonight. "You sure you haven't been smoking?" Paine whispered.
Rikku laughed and settled herself back down at Paine's side as Paine moved to lie on her back. "No, but something tells me this next week is going to make me want to." She placed a hand over Paine's stomach like she always did. "It's gonna be boring introductions after boring introduction…."
"At least you don't have to learn the scientific method every semester… It's like you would think if you made it to your senior year that you would learn it by then, and yet we spend a week on it every semester…" Paine sighed and shook her head at the ridiculousness of it all.
"You're such a nerd."
"Yeah well, you're such a blonde."
Rikku laughed quietly. "Paine you don't understand."
"You can't even notice it Rikku."
"Now it's going to grow uneven." Rikku reached a hand to her head but felt Paine's hand push it away. She laughed. "Let me take a chunk of your hair and we'll see if we make it to Thursday."
"My hair grows fast." Paine shrugged. "And speaking of Thursday I'm probably going to only see you for lunch y'know…"
Rikku frowned. "I know."
"So I mean, I didn't really have anything planned…"
Rikku looked up at Paine from her spot under her arm. "You like me like I like you right?"
Paine grew confused. "Yeah…"
"So then we'll have plenty of other anniversaries. Don't worry about it."
Paine nodded and smiled to herself. "Okay." They lay there quietly enjoying the last bit of freedom in the summer air. Rikku left her window ajar that called a calming breeze in every now and then. What a summer, they both thought. Paine took a deep breath and Rikku hugged her arm around her a little tighter. "You ready?" Paine asked.
"Honestly?"
"Sure."
"No." Rikku lifted her head to get a better look at Paine in the dark. "Are you?"
Paine shook her head no. "One of us has to be though."
"I vote you."
Paine made an amused noise just short of a chuckle. "Me it is."
##
"Look at them…" Paine shook her head and narrowed her eyes at the sea of new lost faces.
"You were a freshman once, Paine." Rikku reminded her as she hiked her backpack onto her shoulder. "Be nice."
The day was bright and clear. You couldn't help but be optimistic about the school year when the sky was so blue. Rikku still felt a little anxious, but just as promised Paine was as cool as a cucumber. It helped to balance her nerves. The last time she had been on campus Auron had followed her to her car to give her Paine's file. Paine's birthday was right around the corner, and her father and Leblanc were still together.
Paine shook her head. "I tested out of freshman year."
They began walking toward the center of campus. "The whole year?" Rikku asked surprised. Paine nodded as she adjusted her leather messenger bag. "Well you must have been lost before."
"I don't get lost."
Rikku chuckled. Coffee?" Rikku asked motioning to the student coffee house where they shared their first real conversation. The thought brought a smile to her face.
"No I gotta run. I will see you this afternoon though."
Rikku nodded and chuckled when Paine started walking off. She grabbed the strap to her leather bag and pulled her back gently. "Really, that's it?"
"Bye?" Paine asked and then stiffened when Rikku pecked her lips.
Sensing something was wrong Rikku pulled away and examined her a minute. "You had no problem kissing me this morning."
"We weren't on campus with fifty thousand people to judge us."
Rikku nodded and let go of the arm she was holding gently. "I'll see you this afternoon then, Pal."
Paine sighed. She didn't mean it that way. "Rikku…." But she was already walking off into the sea of students. Paine kicked the air gently and turned to head towards her first class.
##
"Whoa, am I glad to see you." Tidus said when he saw Paine walk into work later in the day. "Hurry up. These phones are ringing off the hook!"
"Don't rush me." Paine said in her normal don't fuck with me voice.
She wasn't really in the mood.
Rikku was ignoring her.
Well, her texts at least.
Paine sighed when she realized she had to be pleasant and deal with people today. She changed into her navy blue school polo and was on her way to sit beside Tidus when someone stopped her.
"Hi, do you work here?"
No she was just wearing the shirt cause it brought out her eyes.
Paine nodded. "Do you need help with something?"
"Cool, so look my mom and dad wanted to sit in some classes with me during our orientation and well…."
She looked like the type to have already owned three cars by 18. Her hair was bleached blonde and she had blotchy pale skin like she might have been a little late in hitting puberty. She tried to cover it up by wearing layers of makeup, she was fooling no one.
Nothing at all like her beautiful girlfriend…
Who isn't talking to you, Paine reminded herself.
Paine nodded and decided to give the girl a chance. She wasn't the one ignoring her after all. "There is a parent orientation going at the same time that covers most of the same in—"
"But why can't they just come with me?" She asked.
Paine stared at her for a second. "Because, there are sections that they do not need to go over, and materials passed out that—"
"Okay well what about my little sister?"
"Is she currently enroll—?"
"No, she's my little sister, duh." The girl rolled her eyes at Paine.
Paine clenched her jaw and then relaxed it. "Did you receive the packet they sent out with your acceptance letter explaining the parameters and guidline—"
"Oh that thing?" She flipped her hair. "No, we were supposed to read that?"
"Yes."
"Well I didn't and… All my other friends are in there already." She motioned to the large basketball court where a group session for orientation was going on. "I wanna be in there, in that one, not the one after it."
Paine sighed. "Okay well come with—"
"And I want to—"
"Can you let me finish a fucking thought?" Paine asked surprising the girl.
She blinked. "You're not supposed to talk to students like that." She spoke with her finger waving at Paine.
Who the fuck did she think she was?
"Look." Paine clenched her fists, "This is your fault for not reading everything, and if you had, you would know everything I was trying to tell you. Get your fucking hand out of my face before I break it." She warned. Paine pointed to the gym entrance. "Sign in with someone up front, no you can't bring anyone with you, this is fucking college not preschool, and if you have any other smart questions that weren't already stated on the school website, the flyers you got in the mail, the orientation you're about to attend or, your peer advisor, then go see the blonde headed guy at the front desk. Okay?
She nodded.
"Good." Paine nodded and calmed down a little. "Welcome to NLU."
##
"… We are only meeting here for the first two lectures. By Friday we'll be in studio 245, so be ready…."
He smiled lightly; the girl beside him had been fussing over a braid in her hair almost the entire lecture. "I like your hair." He whispered.
Rikku looked up from paying attention, to the boy sitting beside her. She sent him a small smile. "Thanks." She turned back to listen to what the Art and Design 2 syllabus looked like.
"Don't take this the wrong way, but you look like an artist."
Rikku turned again and looked at the boy again. He had smooth dark skin and short brownish blonde hair, hazel eyes, and very white teeth. He was wearing a sleeveless NLU shirt which exposes his muscular arms. "Don't take this wrong way, but you don't." She whispered back.
He chuckled a little. "What do I look like then?"
Rikku looked him up and down again. "A blitzer."
He nodded and outstretched his large hand. "Brandon Lawrence, striker for the NLU Jr Goers, at your service."
Rikku nodded and shook his hand. "Rikku Bayla. I don't play any sports."
"You can call me Buddy." Buddy smiled at how dainty her hands were.
"Buddy?"
"It's what everyone's been calling me, even my Sus..I mean mom." He self consciously corrected himself.
"You're Al bhed." Rikku smiled.
Buddy nodded. "Half, but I'd say that's enough, right?" Rikku shrugged. "Wait… Bayla, you wouldn't happen to be related to Kirill Bayla, of the Psychs?"
She nodded. "He's my older brother."
"That's awesome, so you like the game then?"
"Of course."
"So I should see you at some of our games this season for sure then?"
"Oh definitely, I have to support my Tubs and future cousin in law."
Buddy grew confused. "You know some of the guys?"
"Wakka, and Tidus."
"Captain Wakka?" Buddy seemed impressed. Most of the guys were intimidated by him. Out of all the blitzers on the team there was the most talk of him going pro.
Rikku nodded. "He's my good friend's roommate." Rikku rolled her eyes and checked her phone again.
Buddy nodded with a little smile. "Cool."
##
She recognized them.
"I hear she's pregnant now or something."
"Well I heard that they were both caught doing it in his office."
They sat in front of her and Paine during Auron's class last year. They even worked on a project together during her freshman year.
"I heard he's in jail, I can't believe it, Professor Gaurrd was awesome, I bet it wasn't even his fault."
"She did kind of dress like a slut."
She was just about done for the day; she wanted to grab a Teddy Berry from Jambi Juice before heading off to meet Paine by her car until this stopped her.
She had a few classes in the law building, and Rikku had been getting looks all day. Looks she chose to ignore, people were going to think whatever they wanted, but that was okay because what you thought and what you said were two different things entirely.
She was never mean to anyone, she never gave anyone attitude or talked bad about people. She kept to herself while on campus unless she was with Yunie and their fashion friends. Rikku felt she was a good person, and with everything that she went through this summer she felt like she was a stronger person too. So why did it hurt? Why did it make her feel like so inadequate? These girls didn't even really know her, what gave them the right?
Rikku sighed heavily when she realized what she had done.
##
Paine cleared her throat and straightened her posture when she noticed Rikku approaching her car. She couldn't quite read the look on the blonde's face which probably meant she was still upset with her.
"Hey Rikks, listen I—" Paine stopped short and grew confused when Rikku walked right up to her and wrapped her arms around her tightly without saying anything. "Um…" It wasn't until she felt her girlfriend shake a little that she realized something was very wrong. Paine quickly put her arms around Rikku not caring who saw them in the parking lot. "Baby what's wrong?"
Rikku just held Paine tighter; she had missed her soft skin, the way she smelt. Rikku realized that the world sucked today, and she needed a hug from the one person who understood more than everyone else. Paine had said it before, but she couldn't really know until she was at the receiving end. It seemed everyone knew, those three girls were just the icing on the cake of shame. She wasn't going to cry, but she just felt like no one would listen if she tried to explain, no one but Paine."I'm sorry."
Paine grew even more confused. "You're sorry?" Rikku nodded while still holding on. "I'm the one who messed up…"
Rikku shook her head and pulled away to see Paine's face. "It's okay."
Paine shook her head; no she wasn't off the hook that easy, Rikku had to hear her apology she had been working on all day. "No it's not, I always say I don't care what people say or think, and then this morning you were just being sweet. I'm sorry." Paine leaned down to kiss Rikku but was pushed away gently.
"Paine."
Paine shook her head slowly. "I don't…"
Damn that hurt.
Rikku grew anxious. "It's not that I don't want you to kiss me…"
And Paine grew defensive. "So what is it then, because this morning I don't remember pushing you away…" Paine crossed her arms.
"I just…" She honestly didn't know what compelled her to do it, but the look on Paine's face told her she had better figure it out real quick. "Everyone knows, Paine…"
"Knows what?"
"About Auron. That I had something to do with him being gone."
"Did you tell them the part where he tried to rape you? Or you just let them talk their shit."
She still flinched at the word. "Look I'm just saying that this morning I didn't understand…" She looked down at her shoes. "I was naive to think that everyone views a situation the same."
"Is that what we are? A situation?"
"No, Paine, Yevon c'mon, you know what I want." She gave Paine a look that asked her to stop fighting her. "I understand why you were hesitant is what I'm saying, I've been a jerk today is what I'm saying." Rikku reached for Paine's forearm. "I've missed you today is what I'm saying."
They locked eyes and Paine sighed quietly. "I missed you too."
Rikku smiled. "So c'mere and show me."
Paine was pulled gently into a lingering kiss before she pulled away softly. "Rikks you're confusing me. What was that?"
Rikku shrugged realizing what she had done. "I couldn't help myself." The truth was that she forgot about time and space when she was with Paine. "Today was hard…"
Paine nodded. "The only reason I was like that this morning is because I knew what you would be coming back to, and I know you aren't completely okay…"
They both knew it.
Rikku sighed and looked around them. "Yeah…"
##
Paine dragged herself from the shower and under the covers of her bed.
There was no way she could do this three days out of every week out of the entire semester.
She had to though, she needed the money.
Her eyes had just closed when her cell phone rang. She groaned and contemplated not answering it, but really who else would be calling her?
"Hmm?"
"Did I catch you in time!" Rikku asked cheerily.
Paine reminded herself to check the level of the glass candy container the next time she was over.
"Yeah…"
"You want me to let you go you sound real sleepy."
Paine cleared her throat and began to sit up. She hadn't spoken to Rikku literally all day. "No, no, I'm awake."
"Hiii."
Paine smiled tiredly."Hey Rikks."
"How was your day?"
"How was yours? Mine was boring."
"It was alright. Better than the first one, and better than Tuesday. At least Tuesday I got to see you."
"I know it sucks right?"
"I miss summer already. Blah."
Paine chuckled. "Well the weekend is coming up, and it's still nice outside."
"We should go play baseball!"
Paine smiled. "We haven't done that in a while…"
"Yea let's totally do it. Then the beach on Sunday. Did you hear that Wakka is surprising Lulu by taking her there? Kind of de-stress her a little. What with the job, the parents, the baby thing, the new apartment too… So we'll all be there. That's cute right?"
Paine nodded. "Yeah he told me something about it. He's been moving all week though."
"You gonna be sad not having him around?"
"Who am I going to go to the gym with when I can?"
"You can go with me!"
"No offense, but you can't keep up." Rikku huffed making Paine laugh a little. "You can't."
"I know I know, gosh."
"How was painting today?" Paine was really happy that she had taken her advice and enrolled in a class.
"It's called Art and design, Paine Amelia."
"Oh wow, excuse me."
Rikku chuckled. "It was fun; we're still in the lecture hall. On Friday we go to the actual studio and do our first assignment."
"Cool."
"Hey, do you know a Buddy?"
"Do I know a guy named Buddy?"
Yeah."
Paine shrugged and then remembered that they were on the phone. "No… Why?"
"No, nothing, he's in my class and he's on the blitz team, I thought maybe Wakka would have hand him over or something."
"Nah, Wakka's a pretty private guy, I bet his teammates don't even know about him being a dad soon."
"He's so sweet though. Y'know I saw him on campus yesterday. He was all like How's it goin' ya? I love his accent, it makes me laugh."
Paine chuckled a little. "Yeah he's a good guy." She decided that sitting up was the only way to be able to stay awake during the conversation. "How are the rest of your classes?"
"The math one is okay, we're learning some preliminary logic things."
"Ah so like truth in values and statements…"
"Yeah I hope we get to the fun stuff soon."
"You will."
"What about you, Pypo…" Paine secretly loved when she called her that. Her accent was too much sometimes. "How's life?"
Paine chuckled. "Life?"
"Mhm."
"Life is okay, I'm always tired though. Friday I have to leave campus early so I can go to the doctors."
"Has the pinching feeling come back?"
"Yeah a little."
"Poor thing."
"I know I'm completely useless. I can't eat or anything." Paine joked.
"I'd feed you if you got really sick, Pai."
"I know you would. I don't deserve you." Paine said quietly; shy at her own ability to express herself.
"Aw." Rikku smiled as she turned over on her bed to look at the little rubber duckling. "You know what tomorrow is right?"
"Of course I do, a month ago tomorrow I got shot."
"Yeah well that too."
Paine laughed. "It's our one month anniversary."
"Yup."
"Do we really have to celebrate every month?"
"Uh, Yes. How am I supposed to know when you're going to do something stupid like that again? We should celebrate every day!"
##
"Paine hey!"
Paine sighed and continued walking. "What Lailac?"
They had been texting. Paine wasn't trying to avoid him, it was just that she was looking for an okay time to ease him and Gippal into the friendship territory, besides right now she had exactly 15 minutes to go off campus and get Rikku's gift before her next class started.
"Damn where you going in such a hurry?" Baralai finally caught up to her.
Paine pulled out her car keys. "The toy store, wanna come?"
##
"You two make me sick."
Tidus and Yuna laughed. "I can give you a kiss too." Tidus offered Rikku as he slung an arm around her shoulders and Yuna's.
Yuna laughed. "Uh, no you can't." She pulled him away from her cousin while shaking her head. Tidus laughed and placed another kiss on Yuna's cheek for good measure.
"Where is Doctor Hurt anyway?" Tidus asked. The three were heading for lunch and then going to chill by the school's central fountain. "Aren't you two supposed to be extra lovey dovey today?"
Rikku nodded. "Paine's in class all day, and then you and her work later remember?"
"No we don't." Tidus shook his head.
"What?"
"Yeah we don't work together at all today, I work later, Paine has off remember?"
Rikku nodded slowly. "Yeah…"
##
Later that night after a few hours spent in the library studying and looking up something Paine pulled up along Rikku's street, but parked a few houses away. She checked the time and then called Rikku.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Princess. I'm on my break thought I would call." Paine picked up the small pink gift bag and checked her appearance before gently closing her car door and manually locking it.
"You're on your break?" Rikku was in her attic.
"Yeah, I thought I would call and wish you a happy anniversary."
"You called me this morning."
"I know, but I just thought I'd do it again."
"Uhuh…"
"I was thinking that maybe when I get off work you would want to hang out." Paine climbed the steps to her house.
"Paine…"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think I'm stupid?"
Paine blinked. "No..."
"Then why did you lie to me about having work tonight?"
Paine fell quiet and reminded herself to kick Tidus in the pants the next time she saw him. "Because I wanted to do something."
"Well… I mean, you're a grown woman you can do whatever you want. I really don't like being lied to though, especially by my girlfriend, especially on our first ann—"
Paine chuckled. "Rikku come downstairs and open the front door."
"…What?" Rikku put her pencils down and ran toward the attic window. She looked down and saw Paine's silhouette under the porch light. Rikku hung up the phone and ran into her room. She didn't think she would be seeing Paine tonight, so she had dressed rather frumpily in sweats and a random white shirt with paint stains on it.
Not sexy at all.
Paine stared at her phone. "Did she just hang up on me?" She asked herself aloud before dialing Rikku again.
Rikku was tripping over her shorts that she was changing into and fixing her hair at the same time when she heard her cell phone ringing again. "Yeah?" She picked up.
"This thing where I surprise you only works if you open the door."
"I know I know, I'm coming. Wait… is Pops car here?"
"You don't even know if you are home alone?" Paine asked shaking her head looking onto the drive. "No."
"I was in the attic. Okay and I'm coming." Rikku hung up and checked her refreshed appearance before going downstairs. When she opened the door her smile grew. Paine was standing there with a pink gift bag with green decretive tissue sticking out from it, she was wearing a thin gray long sleeved shirt and black pants.
"Well it's about time." Paine joked.
"You're such a meanie, I thought you really lied to me. Here let me get that." Rikku said taking Paine's leather jacket from over her arm.
"I did lie to you." Paine reminded her with a small laugh.
"I know but, I thought you were off doing who knows what… Is that mine?" Rikku asked excitedly when she noticed the bag again.
Paine shrugged and took off her shoes. "Maybe."
"We both know it is."
Paine gently kicked her shoes to the side next to a pair of Rikku's flip flops and Cid's house shoes. "Yes, Princess it's for you. But uh, where's mine?"
Rikku frowned. "You said not to get you anything, so I didn't. I knew I should have never listened to you."
Paine could tell she was beating herself up a little about it. "It's okay I was just teasing, being here with you now when I thought I couldn't be is good enough."
"People just say that to be nice." Rikku pouted. "Paine…"
"You want to give me something? Fine, I'm kind of hungry…"
Rikku nodded quickly. "I'll make you a Panini!" She took off for the kitchen and Paine chuckled. She went into the den and put the gift bag and her cell phone down before going into the kitchen after Rikku. "I'm only putting a little bit of meat on here…" Rikku warned, she was already assembling the sandwich, and the Panini press was already plugged in.
"I can eat meat now though." She was counting down the days until she could have a cup of coffee.
Rikku paused and added a slice more of ham. "Still…"
Paine watched as Rikku pilled on the vegetables with a little smile. She was always looking out for her. Sometimes it was annoying, but most of the time Paine liked it. It meant she cared, and having that was something she could definitely get used to.
##
Paine pushed aside her plate and reached for the gift bag. Sensing that the moment had finally come Rikku quickly lowered the volume of the TV and turned on the couch to face Paine. "Now it's not anything fancy or nothing…" Paine began suddenly becoming a little shy.
Rikku found it cute. "That's okay."
Paine nodded. "But you said you wanted one so…" Paine handed the bag over to Rikku. "Oh, read the card first."
"Pypo, you got me a card too? Now I feel horrible."
"It's okay, I wanted to do this."
"But—"
"Just read the card damnit." Paine laughed. She turned her body on the couch so she was facing Rikku.
The younger woman dipped her hand into the gift bag blindly and pulled out what felt like a card. She chuckled at the cute cartoon on the front wishing her a happy anniversary. She opened it and smiled at Paine's script, and read aloud. "Dear Princess, that's me." Paine laughed a little. "I spent an hour in the school library looking up sentimental things to write for you to fill up this blank space, but nothing seemed personal enough and they all sounded stupid to me." Rikku chuckled. "Aside from being shot, this has had to be the happiest month I've had in a while. You make everything feel better." Rikku choked up a little at that last line, it was a very Paine way of saying just how she felt about her.
"Keep reading."
Rikku nodded and looked back down at the card. "…I only hope that I do the same for you. I know I can't change the past, and the future is something that we're both scared of. I can promise that I'll try my hardest to be everything you need of me and more so we can make it through all these changes together, but you don't like me promising things, so I'll just show you instead. Happy First Anniversary, Rikks, Paine." Rikku looked up at Paine with glossy eyes. "Baby…"
"You like it?"
Rikku leaned closer to her on the couch. "I loved it." She whispered before placing a heart tugging kiss on Paine's lips. She smiled adoringly at her after pulling away an inch. "Thank you."
"No problem." Paine whispered back. Damn, she should start writing her feelings down a lot more often! she rubbed Rikku's arm when she got that look in her eyes like a distant storm or something. "You okay?"
Rikku nodded. "It's just that no one has ever written for me like that?" She sniffled quietly while wondering what the hell was wrong with her.
"Here." Paine picked up the forgotten gift bag and pushed it toward Rikku. "You forgot the actual gift." Even if they were happy tears welling, Rikku crying was something that Paine didn't like to see.
Rikku nodded and reached her hand in the bag again and let out a breathless laugh when she pulled out the gift. "You got me a puppy?"
Paine nodded and scooted close so she was sitting shoulder to shoulder with Rikku. "Yeah see it's a digital pet, and it goes on your key chain, so y'know you don't forget to take him out for walks I guess." Paine shrugged and Rikku laughed. "But you said you wanted a puppy really bad, so I got one for you… Sorta."
"This is so cool, Pai." Rikku looked to her left and pecked Paine's cheek quickly before going to work on getting the hard plastic undone. Paine smiled proudly to herself.
After some attempts from Rikku and a few from Paine, the ridiculously plastic protected toy was open and the two were reading the directions.
Rikku sighed heavily as she watched Paine; all she wanted to do was play with the damn thing not read a novel on it. "We don't need them!" She gave up and pressed a random button. "Look he's eating, I just fed him." Rikku showed Paine the little silver pod where a screen was on the front face. A digital floppy eared puppy was making cute barking noises.
Paine went back to reading the directions that came with it. "Rikku you haven't even named it or anything, it says here that he can't grow up without a name…" Lame rule, but she didn't build the thing.
"That means he'd stay a puppy forever right?"
Paine shrugged flipping a page. "I guess…" This was a rather extensive instruction manual for a kid's game.
"Good!"
"Yeah, but the object is to raise a puppy to an old dog…See?" She showed her the mission mode section of the instructions. "…After naming your DigiPet you can now begin the adventures of blah blah blah. You have to name it to win."
Rikku waved Paine away as she pressed on one of the three power command buttons under the screen. "I don't wanna win." She chuckled to herself as the little puppy was taken for a walk through the eyes of the dog. "This is so cool…" She repeated completely captivated by the little black and white screen.
Paine just sighed and put the directions down. "Fine, but when whatever his name is gets sick or needs shots, I'm not telling you how to do it."
Rikku turned and looked at Paine shocked. "You'd let Little Puppy get sick and die?"
"You can't call him Little Puppy forever."
"I can if I don't name him, because according to that thing." She motioned to the instruction manual on the coffee table. "He stays a puppy until I name him… Which I won't."
"Fine, but he'll stay a sick puppy, and then puppy protective services will come and take him away."
Rikku looked horrified now. "They have that on this thing?"
"How would you know? You didn't read the instructions." Rikku jumped for the booklet but Paine was just too fast. A struggle began.
"Give it or I'll kick you in your back!" Rikku chuckled as she lunged for it in Paine's hands.
"That's real fucked up." Paine laughed as she held it far out of Rikku's reach.
"Not as fucked up as you not taking an active role in this parenting thing."
Paine laughed and pointed to the little key chain pod in Rikku's hand. "That is not my sick ass puppy."
"You bought it. You helped me open the package, you are a parent." Rikku leapt forward and missed.
"Well then I should have a say as to if we name it or not right?" Paine paused trying to keep the packet away from Rikku. "Am I wrong?"
"Yeah see, yes you are, because technically. You gave it to me, relinquishing your naming rights… Yeah." Rikku nodded and jumped for the booklet in Paine's hand. She grabbed it and stuffed it down her shirt with a triumphed grin.
"You really think I'm going to have a problem getting that?" Paine asked while shaking her head.
Rikku chuckled. "You won't if I say not to."
"So say it."
"…."
They both jumped up at the same time; Rikku running and Paine chasing after her. Rikku squealed with laughter as she felt Paine's arms wrap around her stomach and pull her before she could run up the stairs. "Paine, your back!" She laughed as the taller woman carried her back to the couch in the den.
"Alright." Paine put her hands on her hips after setting Rikku down. "I'm gonna ask you once nicely because you are my girlfriend and I do respect your boobs rights to remain anonymous."
Rikku hugged herself up into a little ball on the sofa.
"Give me the book…"
"That wasn't nicely!"
"Give me my book please." When Rikku didn't respond Paine raised an eyebrow as if giving her a last out before placing her right knee on the couch beside Rikku's curled up body and leaning forward. "I'll give you to the count of three."
Rikku couldn't help but laugh. "Paine it's mine."
"One."
Rikku hugged herself tighter and kicked away Paine's knee.
"Two."
They're eyes were glued on one another's. Rikku's an electric green and daring, and Paine's nothing but mischievous.
Rikku grinned. "You wouldn't."
"Three!"
Paine climbed on the couch and grabbed Rikku's sides and began to tickle her causing Rikku to laugh as she tried to fight her off.
"Al—Alright! Paine stop!" Rikku was crying she was laughing so hard.
"What?" Paine asked pretending not to hear her. "Keep going?"
"You're so dead!" Rikku laughed as she tried to squirm off the couch. Paine let the weight of her body hold them on the edge though. Rikku wrapped her arms around Paine's neck and applied a playful amount of pressure. "C'mere!" Paine chuckled and tried to pull away, but Rikku had a firm hold. She managed to pull away enough to be a few inches from Rikku's face. As their eyes locked all struggle and tickling stopped.
Rikku smiled at Paine with her eyes as Paine hovered over her for before leaning down a little to touch her lips to Rikku's chin. One of Rikku's hands moved to Paine's cheek and they just stared at each other for a second again.
"You're so beautiful." Paine mumbled causing Rikku to blush. "I wish you knew." Staring at Rikku like this made it difficult to filter herself. She was learning that around Rikku it didn't matter, the blonde would like her just as much, maybe even more, if she wasn't always trying to hide what she was thinking. She leaned down and touched her lips to the very tip of Rikku's nose. "And cute, you're cute too."
Rikku smiled. "Well you have these eyes…" She traced her fingertips on the dip right after Paine's eyes. "They're superdeeduperdee sexy."
Paine chuckled softly. "Superdeedduperdee?"
"Yeah, like super duper, but… Feminine." Rikku chuckled a little at how she made no sense sometimes. "But they're also warm, I feel like you are giving me a hug sometimes when you look at me." Paine smiled lightly and let Rikku's finger trace the bridge of her nose and then her lips. " And when you smile Pypo? Right here wrinkles up a little, it's adorable." Rikku tapped a finger gently against her nose, near her eyes. "I just wanna put you in a baggie and take you places with me!" Rikku joked in a cutesier voice.
Paine laughed. "I'm not a jelly bean."
"Aww!" Rikku wrapped her arms around her shoulders. "My lil jelly bean!"
"No." Paine shook her head laughing as she was being hugged. "No way in hell."
Rikku pouted. "Well what am I going to call you then?"
"Ri, you have like fifteen other names besides my own."
Rikku shook her head lessening her grasp on her girlfriend. "I don't see your point."
Paine chuckled. "Anything besides My… lil jelly bean." She made a face.
Rikku laughed at how it looked like it was painful to say. "Puddin' cup? Rice cake?"
"Are you hungry or something?" Paine asked. She adjusted her weight a little so she wasn't crushing Rikku. "Nothing with food!"
"It's the only way I can express how I feel! I like to eat and sleep and paint and draw and… I can't call you my lil easel now can I? No."
"Why do I have to be little, I'm bigger than you."
"You are not bigger, you're taller, that's it. I bet we wear the same size pants… Oh, but you're torso is just wider…"
"Are you calling me fat?"
Rikku laughed "Noo gosh, I know how you models get when people say the F word."
Paine shook her head ignoring the models comment. Yuna and Rikku both had been dropping hints all week. "But you have a little more ass…"
"You checkin' me out or something Kerrigan?" Rikku smirked. She already knew the answer, Paine swore she was smooth about it, she wasn't at all.
Paine shrugged lightly. "Maybe a little, I can't help it though."
"Mmm." Rikku leaned in closer to her and they shared a light kiss. She liked the way Paine's body felt on hers like this. It made her hyper aware of everything Paine did.
Just then the front door could be heard opening. "… And you can understand my initial reaction of course. I mean, she's not a child, she's a young woman. I can't tell her what she and the idiot can and can't do. Even though he's an idiot."
Cid chuckled. "You have t stop calling him that."
Cid and Braska paused when they walked into the den and noticed Paine and Rikku. They were sitting close, but both were looking at the TV intently with their hands to themselves. Why was the volume so low? Cid cleared his throat and the two pretended to have just noticed them.
"Oh Pops, hya." Rkku smiled innocently."Uncle B."
Paine scratched the back of her head and hoped she wasn't blushing. "Hey."
Braska shook his head with a little laugh and Cid raised an eyebrow. "Milan, what is in your shirt?"
Rikku looked down to her shirt where the little booklet was still sticking out. "Oh this... This is just, um, a book." She pulled it out and nodded to herself as she flipped through a few pages. "Yeah, it's definitely a book."
##
"Brother! Brother, give it back!" A little Rikku chased after her brother in her fuzzy yellow pajamas early one morning after breakfast.
"No way, too slow."Kirill laughed as he ran around the table.
"Give it back give it back give it—" A loud crash was heard and then little Rikku began to cry.
Kirill slowed down and looked behind him and felt his stomach flip when he saw his little sister sitting on the ground around shards of glass and the breakfast china. She knocked into the table, causing the cleaned dishes on it to fall and crash on her. He dropped the ball they were fighting over and ran to her side. "Rikku! Rikku!"
"Fryd'c kuehk uh eh rana?" A woman with deep blonde hair tied back rushed into the small dining room. "Milan!"
"Sus Sussy, She fell it's all my fault!" Kirill ran into his mother's apron and tugged on her. "I'm sorry, look, look she's crying Moma!"
"Pa lyms cuh." She quickly scooped up a crying Rikku.
"Mommy…" Little Rikku sniffled violently.
"Oh Rikku Milan." She smiled softly at her daughter's wide eyes. She was probably more spooked than hurt. "Mad sa caa fryd rind so meddma zafam. Femm oui mad susso caa?" Little Rikku's lip trembled as she put out her two hands palm up.
"Ed rindc…"
She examined the small little cuts on each hand carefully and thankfully they were more of scratches than cuts. But there was a bit of blood too. "Let's get you cleaned up."
"Does it hurt?" Kirill whispered that night. He had basically crawled onto Rikku's smaller bed to say he was sorry.
She was balled up under her small blanket and was wearing her fuzzy pink pajamas tonight. "No…"
"Did Momma say you were in trouble?"
"No…"
"Are you mad at me?" He asked nervously. He was only five, but somewhere he knew it was his fault his little sister spent the whole day quiet and playing by herself. He was supposed to be looking out for her, and now look at what he did.
"No Kiwill…"
"I got you dem cookies…" Kirill quickly got off her little bed and ran to his across the room to go under his pillow. The lemon cookies their grandmother would make and bring over was Rikku's favorite. He had begged his father to take him to see her that afternoon when Rikku was napping.
Little Rikku perked up. "Yeah?"
Kirill ran back over and handed her the small baggie. "And you can have diss ball if you want it still…" He placed the ball they were fighting over on her bed as well. "I'm sorry I made you fall."He apologized while tugging on his shirt nervously.
"I'm sorry I called you a poopie face."
"That's okay."
They hugged.
"You want some of my cookies?"
Rikku woke up and smiled to herself. No matter what, he would be the same Kirill to her. She knew he loved her; it was just that time had made things difficult; it had also changed them both. She just hoped deep down he was the same person, because if he was, then all he would care about was her happiness, and as Rikku turned over in her bed and cuddled against her pillow wishing it were her girlfriend, she realized that she was. She was happy regardless of everyone's opinion, she was happy with how far she had come in such a short amount of time.
##
She could tell it was going to be one of those days the moment she opened her eyes.
She was done being this person though.
She was changing and growing and thriving and it felt amazing.
So amazing.
Paine pulled herself up and tried to continue her morning routine with shaking hands.
She had actually gotten pretty good at ignoring the frequency of these episodes.
"Fuck." She cursed when her toothbrush fell out of her hand and into the sink.
That had done it.
Something so simple, something so okay had pushed her, and she didn't know what to do as her eyes welled up.
Paine gripped the corners of the sink and cursed again as she felt a familiar anger course through her. Why? Why was she here for this bullshit? If she was meant to do well, and be better, why was it so fucking hard sometimes? Why couldn't she be okay? Why couldn't she be normal like everyone else? Why? Paine needed to know. It was this urgent need for a reason, coupled with her body's confused desperation for a remedy that had her like this. She curled her right hand into a fist and banged it against the hard tiled surface.
Nothing
Was it some sort of twisted ironic joke that her name was the only thing she knew how to do right?
She banged her fist again, this time knuckles first.
Paine felt herself losing control and fought to hold herself steady.
Or was it because she could withstand it. She could take it, she was strong enough. Paine winced as she uncurled her hand slowly.
Sometimes she didn't want to be strong enough.
Sometimes she didn't want to be ashamed of her own tears. It was okay to cry, to feel. Rikku was teaching her this. But how long would it take? How long would this last? Should she get help?
No, she could do it herself.
"Its okay." she mumbled to herself as she slipped out of her underwear again. Maybe saying it aloud would help her better believe.
She would try anything at this point.
Paine got back into the ice cold shower and waited until she couldn't feel anything.
AN: A little long, Lo siento :/ I've been having a rough week, but some reviews would definitely cheer me up! :)
KathleenDee