Chapter Twenty-Six

The prolonged adrenaline rush of flying to Luna and escaping the collapsed tunnel was dissipating.

Guilty that she had taken someone's will hostage yet again for her own selfish purposes, Cinder filled the Lunar man with as many happy emotions and memories as possible, hoping that they would remain with him even when the glamour wore off. It was unlikely, but she decided not to think about that. They deposited him on a random street on the way to the manufacturing sector. Cinder told him that he was still on his rescue mission for those injured in the tunnel, so she urged him to go to the nearest hospital to seek help. Stella had dropped him off and she would be back with the hover later.

Now that Cinder was flying and Wolf was fake co-piloting, some residual panic was setting in. Cress, who had barely spoken from the back of the hover, pointed out that just like spaceships, most personal hovercrafts were also embedded with tracking devices. She could attempt to disable them, but it would take her much longer than their actual flight time, so it wasn't a convenient option. Wolf was in fight-mode, snarling even at the hovers that flew past them, and he made the executive decision for them to continue on to the safe house.

"We'll worry about the hover later," he said. "If my parents decide not to help us, we'll have bigger problems than that man tracking us." He turned his head suspiciously at a passing artificial cloud. "Better to have an escape mechanism as well. Though I suppose we could overpower them if it came to that."

"But…they're your parents."

"Cress," said Wolf, his voice a gruff whisper, "my parents would have every right to be ashamed of what I've become."

"Surely they miss you," she said.

"Not all parents care about their children," said Cinder.

Wolf sighed. "My parents did care about me once. I hope that they will at least pity us enough to offer refuge for one night. I'm trying to think of another plan. It's better than running around in the streets with a Shell."

Cress' expression sagged in Cinder's rearview mirror. She knew that Wolf wasn't purposely trying to make Cress feel bad, but unfortunately, he did have a point. There were advantages to Cress being a shell: she couldn't be controlled by the Lunar gift, which meant that she would have no trouble discerning the truth, even if Cinder and Wolf's minds betrayed them. However, there wasn't any way to disguise her, either. Cinder could try to make other Lunars think Cress was someone else, but in a crowd that would be particularly difficult. Someone would likely pick up on the fact that she emitted no bioelectricity waves.

Sometimes it was actually disconcerting that she couldn't feel Cress' bioelectricity. She'd only had her gift for a little while now, but she was now used to feeling how the energy around people moved. Though she'd never admit it out loud, sometimes it had served as a bit of respite on the Rampion. Knowing that someone was emitting particularly grumpy or sad bioelectricity made it easier to tiptoe around sensitive topics. With Cress, who practically wore her emotions as a shield, Cinder didn't have to guess much about how she was feeling. It was obvious that she was still miserable. More than once, especially during their long tunnel walk, Cinder had almost wished that she could just inject a fragment of hope into her mind to give her more determination to continue on—another fact she would never admit out loud to anyone. It was despicable. Still, the more she became familiar with her gift and the possibilities of glamour, it became easier to understand why Lunars would be uncomfortable with someone who they couldn't manipulate. Not that she would ever stoop that low, of course.

"We have an advantage having a Shell," she finally decided to say. She offered an encouraging smile to Cress, hoping she would see it in the mirror as well. "The logistics are just a bit more complicated."

"We'll see," said Wolf. Cinder gave him a sideways glare even as she steered the hovercroft to the left. "Didn't mean to offend you, Cress," he added.

Cress did not respond, only looked out the window. Cinder wondered what she was thinking about: being back on Luna, being a Shell on Luna, how Dr. Erland had given her up, or maybe all those things. Or maybe she was just thinking about Thorne.

It was a dangerous slope, thinking about Thorne, because Cinder had been there before too, when she had first thought that he had died on the satellite. Now that there was a strong possibility that both Thorne and Kai were dead, injured, or in some other way incapacitated, it was a struggle for Cinder not to lose focus on Wolf's plan. Her plan. Their plan. They hadn't been able to do anything else. They had made the right choice. Thorne and Kai would have wanted them to keep going if the roles had been reversed.

This is what Wolf had told both of them. This is what she had told Cress. This is what she repeated to herself to keep herself going.

Because they were fine, even if believing that meant that she continued to have an internal battle with her probability calculator. No, cyborg programming instincts were not the same as her human instincts. She had fallen victim to that before. They were fine. She would not cave into her emotions until it was confirmed otherwise. And she would not let Cress see her crumble until then either.

Her thoughts turned back to the blinking GPS coordinates and small dot on the net map that informed her they were getting close to their target. So far, Luna had been different than what she'd expected. Maybe it was only a myth that Luna was supposed to be a paradise. Compared to the glittering city of Artemisia that she'd seen in images before, the sector that they were flying in was completely disappointing. The houses had a faded old tint to them, as if no one had bothered to repair or repaint them in years. She could see bright lights off in the distance, reflecting like mirrors from the domes that surrounded them. The streets were not crowded—in fact, Cinder wondered where everyone was. The skies barely had any traffic either. If she tried to forget that she was on Luna, Cinder could almost picture herself flying above one of the poorer neighborhoods on the outskirts of New Beijing.

Wherever they were, it wasn't a ritzy place. Cinder hadn't thought about poverty much before. Though she had worked tirelessly for Adri, she had always had food on the table, clothes, and of course, technology. If she were ever to be queen, she would probably need to start thinking about global issues more. Or, in this case, Lunar issues. Was all of Luna like this? Or was it only the sector that Wolf was from? For that matter, had all of the Lunar Operatives come from one sector or another?

"We're getting close."

Cinder reached out for Wolf's energy. His fight-mode was settling down, replaced with a different kind of anxiety. It was understandable that he was nervous—she was basking in nervousness too and she wasn't even about to face her estranged parents. She retracted from his mind quickly. It wasn't right of her to share this moment with him when he hadn't asked her too. She needed to get better at controlling the urge to fish around bioelectricity when it wasn't necessary. Cinder focused on slowing down the engine and circling down towards their destination.

"Park on the street by the house," said Wolf. He sat up and licked his lips as Cinder gripped the steering mechanism tighter and angled them slowly downward. She hated landing almost more than she hated take-off. Her net connectivity had not been working, so she was flying completely by the flight instructions she had downloaded for the Rampion's podship. It was…somewhat similar, but altogether still terrifying.

When they hit ground without any problems, Cinder exhaled shakily. "Good."

"You stay here," Wolf instructed.

"What? Absolutely not," said Cinder.

"It's too dangerous. Let me get a feel for the place first. Maybe—maybe they don't even live here anymore."

"It'll be—"

"No," he growled. "Stay here and glamour yourself into someone inconspicuous. Cress, stay hidden."

Cinder pouted slightly, Cress slumped down in her seat, and Wolf let out a deep breath.

My street. My house. My home. My family.

The old gray building with the blue door hadn't changed much, though the paint was deteriorating. Ze'ev understood on principle why Queen Levana had never allowed them to see their families again, and in this very moment, he was glad of it. Knowing that he would never see them again had given him the clean break necessary to transition into his new life.

Now, faced with his old house in front of him, it was nearly impossible to keep walking. Facing his parents was going to be worse than killing Ran. In fact, he was going to have to tell his parents that he had killed Ran. That would be the first thing they would ask, of course, if they even acknowledged him. Had he taken care of his little brother? Had he watched out for him?

No, he would say, I didn't. And then what excuses could he offer? Ran had chosen his own path. Ran had told Z to back off even from the first day. Ran had enjoyed killing. Ran had become a monster.

Who was he kidding? He was a monster.

His parents would never forgive him for what he had done to so many people. Done to Ran.

Z realized that he was just standing in front of the door, staring at it dumbly. He glanced back at the hover, now silent, and saw only a middle-aged woman with long, ebony hair nodding in his direction. If he didn't knock on the door soon, Cinder would probably come after him, and he couldn't have that. They had a job to do. He had a job to do.

And this task he needed to do alone.

Reaching out slowly, he rapped three times on the pale blue door. He pulled his sleeve down as far as it would go, but his LSOP tattoo was still glaringly obvious on his arm. He wiped at his clothes as well, but it was pretty useless. The tunnel collapse had left him dirty and somewhat dusty-looking. Then he waited, listening with his senses for life on the other side of the door.

It was unlikely that they had moved. He hadn't told Cinder, but his family had never had much money to start out with. Even with two less mouths to feed, his parents would probably never have earned enough money to afford a new place to live. Then again, the families of the operatives were supposed to be compensated for losing their children. Had it been much? Maybe it had been enough money that they had even encouraged Ran to volunteer so they could earn more. Doubtful, from what he remembered of his parents. But that was long ago; who knew how time had changed them too.

His heart rate accelerated as a pad of footsteps trotted to the door. Inhaling sharply and then letting the breath out just as quickly, he squeezed his fists together and stood up straighter. The door swung open and—

His mother jumped back at the sight of him. Her hair was thinner, she was decidedly plumper, and age was beginning to show on her skin, but it was her. No glamour, just as he remembered her. And she was terrified.

He held up his hands, meaning no harm, but his mother held up her own. "Please, I haven't done anything," she said, backing into the room and nearly stumbling over the old rocking chair that hadn't moved in the last eleven years. She kept her eyes down, cowering in fear as Ze'ev crossed the threshold slowly. "I'll—please—" Her voice was urgent, unstable.

If she only looked up, his mother would see that his body was shaking just as much as hers. "M-mom." When she still didn't look up, Ze'ev spoke louder and with more clarity. "Mom. It's—me. Ze'ev."

He backed away respectfully, shutting the door behind him so he was leaning against it, and gave his mother time to process what he had said. Slowly, her shaky hands lowered and she peered up at him. More flickers of terror went over her face, making him cringe.

"This, this…a glamour?" she whispered.

"No. It's me. I'm not going to hurt you."

His mother's lower lip was trembling now. "Z-Ze'ev?"

"Yes."

"But how—"

"I'm not being controlled by a Thaumaturge," he said, as if this was just what his mother wanted him to say. "I'm not dangerous unless they're controlling me. I'm different." He was babbling now. "I can resist my urges."

She took a step towards him and stared, more emotion filling her, but not as much fear as before.

"I know I must look horrible to you. I know you have every right to be afraid of me, even despise me. What I am, it's not natural. I know. And I'm sorry for coming like this. I wish I could have warned you. But I—"

"You're all grown up," she said.

"I'm twenty-three."

His mother let out a breath. "I know."

It was hard to contain his anxiety much longer. He needed to move his feet around, to pace, to jump around—anything. But he was afraid to move, too afraid to startle her again. What would she do? Would she call the Lunar guards? Report him? Pretend to be calm only to run away screaming? "I escaped them. I'm not with them. I need your help. I—"

"Ze'ev," she said again. "Z. I never thought I'd see you again."

"Me neither." Now his voice was cracking.

Hesitantly, his mother reached out a hand towards him. "Can I…?"

Z swallowed. "Yes."

She ran her fingers along his scars, and then cupped one cheek with her hand. "Is it dangerous to hug you?" she whispered.

It was the last thing he was expecting. Once over the initial shock, a touch of curiosity made a little sense even to him. But an embrace? As though she still considered him her son?

"No, Mom."

Z didn't know that he could cry anymore. He hadn't cried in eleven years—not even when Scarlet had been taken. He only howled out of despair now. But there was something so human about being in his mother's arms that made him break down even more than she did. Though he was so much bigger, taller, and stronger than her, she held him more than he held her. They cried together for so many things: the memories they'd shared, their broken family, the years they had lost, their reunion.

When they had both calmed down, his mother pulled away from him. "Your father's still at work. He'll be home before the curfew though."

"Will he want to see me?"

She smiled. "I think so, Z."

"What time is the curfew?"

"In one hour."

Z straightened. "I have two friends with me—not operatives. We need a place to stay. Can we sleep here tonight?"

His mother looked down with regret. "We changed your old room. With you and Ran gone, there wasn't any need for extra beds."

"We don't need much," he said quickly. "We're just not supposed to be on the streets. Can you help us?" She hesitated before nodding. "One is a Shell," he added.

Her eyes widened. "Ze'ev, how can this be? Shells are not permitted on Luna. This hasn't changed."

"It's a long story. One that I would be happy to tell you, but for now, we need to get to a safe spot. But you'll be endangering yourself by being in our presence, do you understand? Just say no and I'll leave you alone again."

"No," she said. "I don't want you to leave. I'll try to be understanding."

"No one can know that we're here, Mom."

Another nod.

"No one can know that you're housing a Shell or an operative."

"Understood—but you'll need to do some explaining."

It only took one more look into his mother's green eyes before he decided that he would trust her today. Maybe not with the whole truth of everything, but enough to at least spend one night here. He would not reveal Cinder's identity of course, but maybe his mother and father would at least keep them safe. The swirl of emotions and uncertainties still hindering his ability to think completely objectively, he headed outside nonetheless.

It was the longest time she had ever held up a glamour for herself. She was growing accustomed to glamouring other people, and she'd worked on covering up her human hand several times, but after just a few hours in the Kesley house, Cinder's brain was getting tired. It was tiring to constantly pretend to be someone else, and she didn't know how Levana did it. Since she couldn't see herself, it was only Wolf's assurance that helped her believe her glamour was convincing. She had lowered her age a bit from her initial glamour in the hover. Now she was around Wolf's age, and took on Iko's appearance with dark skin and blue braids. In a way, it was her homage for leaving her friend behind.

The story they had told Wolf's parents was that he had left his role as a Lunar Operative a few months ago because he had met Cress, an escaped Shell who needed help. Cress told them about how Shells weren't killed at all, but used for their blood and kept hidden from society. Wolf's parents had softened at that knowledge, perhaps in shared recognition of how awful it was to take a child away from her parents. They mentioned that they'd had friends when they were younger whose children had been Shells, and that they had been through much grief.

Wolf—whom they called Ze'ev—continued to say that they had both run away with Cinder—whom they called Iko—because she had discovered the truth about Shells and would have risked her life had she stayed at home. Wolf admitted that he had never liked being an operative, and so the three of them became an unlikely set. They did not mention Thorne or Kai, though Cinder did inquire whether anyone else had stopped by recently looking for them. Sadly, the answer was no.

Cinder had the sneaking suspicion that his parents thought Wolf and Cress might be a couple, because they often shared brief but meaningful glances between them whenever they thought no one was looking. The idea of Wolf and Cress together made Cinder nearly lose her glamour. It made sense, though, she supposed, for parents to think that their child had deserted for love, rather than just being a traitor to the crown. Though they listened patiently to his stories about his time with the Queen's army, it was clear that they weren't excited about hearing them—especially when Wolf confessed that he had killed his brother.

Cinder and Cress hadn't known this, and they had excused themselves to another room while the three of them spoke privately. Cress had warmed up slightly since arriving at the Kesley residence, so the two of them spent time together skirting any important issues and instead made small talk about life on Luna. Eventually, tired and winding down from nerves, they called down the hallway to see if they could be excused to go to sleep.

The three Kesleys emerged from the kitchen, somber. His parents were full of grief; Cinder could feel it pulsating off of them. She didn't know what to say, nor whether it was her place to say anything, so she just kept quiet.

"Is it okay if Wolf sleeps with us?" asked Cress. They had discussed this earlier; one of them would always need to stay awake to make sure that his parents didn't see Cinder without her glamour while she slept.

The look between Wolf's parents was so unmistakable that she doubted even Wolf missed it that time. He stiffened, and Cinder suppressed a snort again. She knew who would get a kick out of this situation.

"It'll have to be that way," said Wolf's father. A tall man himself, though much skinnier than Wolf, Cinder could easily see the resemblance, even with all of Wolf's scars. "We don't have enough room for you to have a bed, let alone your own rooms."

"We don't mind at all, Dad," said Wolf. He gestured at Cinder and Cress. "I'll lead the way."

Wolf's old room was tiny, and a worn couch sat in the corner, along with a small netscreen on top of a table. Wolf, exhaling, ran his hands through his hair. Cinder half-expected him to say something to them, but he simply walked to the table and pushed it out of the way. His mother showed up shortly thereafter and offered some blankets and pillows to them. After their experience in the tunnel, it was practically a luxury, so despite her apologies, no one was complaining. She did insist that Ze'ev at least wash up before bed, though, to which he just rolled his eyes.

The three of them did need a shower, though, as the soot from the tunnel cave-in was now practically a part of their skin. They'd need to find new clothes too—but that could wait until morning.

Cress curled up with her pillow and blanket in the corner almost immediately. "I'll play around with the netscreen during my shift," she said, before turning away from the two of them.

Cinder and Wolf exchanged a brief look before Wolf shrugged and headed to the bathroom. Cinder decided that she could keep watch first, and fixed her eyes on the doorway protectively.

When Wolf came back to the room, Cinder was pleased to no longer be alone with her thoughts. She had too many things going through her mind, and she wanted desperately to be distracted. She also wanted to believe that the Kesley family meant them no harm, but it had all seemed too simple. Luna was a dangerous place for her to be, and who was to say that his parents hadn't already commed an authority figure? They were risking a lot, being here.

The Kesleys joined them again, surprising all three of them. Wolf's father nodded to his wife before clasping his hands together. "We've thought about what you said, and we think we have a way to help you."

"Yes," said his mom, "we have some people we would like you to meet."

"But," said Cress, panic emanating from her voice. "I'm a Shell! I can't meet anyone. They'll turn me over, I—"

"Not to worry," she said, calm and placating. "I think these people will understand."