Merlin was late. He was late and he didn't even know why he felt so flustered to be late. He hadn't wanted to come, well not really. But it was a good opportunity to hang out with the knights a little more, and maybe get that pleased look that Arthur had the night before when he'd finally agreed to come (under protest). It had made him feel irrefutably stupid and pleased at the same time.

He checked the map he'd printed out, turned towards the clamouring sound of life, and checked the time. Two hours late. Not too bad. Merlin tried to remind himself that he'd told Arthur he was going to be late. He'd had work and slept in all day, he couldn't wake up much earlier without throwing his body clock into rebellion and then he'd never be awake for work again (they really did encourage him to be awake at work, strangely enough).

The park was wonderful, it positively beamed to have him visit it. He'd been to Hampstead Heath before, but it had never been so loud. He stopped on the cusp of the park, on cement and looking in amongst trees and wildlife. He couldn't see Arthurs troop yet, but there were a few people around. Lunch time, even on a week day, was a good time to go to the park. That it was unseasonably pleasant didn't hurt (it was still cold, he still had a jacket on against the chill but he had unknotted his scarf and let it fall down his sides). The wind ruffled his hair and he rolled his eyes at the sinister thing before fixing the mess up with busy fingers.

"Okay." He told the world at large, and it stilled for him, curious. "I'm going to be around all day, but I need some peace and quite." A passing couple gave him a strange look and crossed the street, Merlin did not care at all (he did, but he liked to pretend he didn't). "So, lets keep it to normal levels?" The quite that followed his statement was encouraging, and he stepped onto the grass (no notable change but it had felt like a barrier he could use). Some of the tree's offered a greeting, even the grass had things to say (he felt kind of guilty walking on the damn stuff, but it didn't seem to mind at all – nature made no sense sometimes).

Pleased with the way everything was being calm (except for that breeze, which had decided to try and see how many incidental ruffles it would take to annoy him) Merlin offered a few answers to the things around him and went on his hunt. He checked his map then realised it really was just a cross in the middle of a big green space. He had been heading for the spot, but it occurred to him he had an easier way to do this.

Curious he spread out his attention, letting his awareness skim along the grass, and up the tree branches. He stretched himself out, feeling for Arthur and his cohorts. Feeling for that tinge of familiarity he was so used to now. It took five seconds, at the most, before he'd pinned them down, not far away, but away from the road. Merlin made a beeline for them.

Merlin wasn't sure how, but Gwaine was there. He knew it before he even knew about the others (except Arthur; Arthur was warm steel and stretched out across everything near him and Merlin could feel him long before he'd gotten off the tube). The others were in the middle of a game, a clash of muscles and technique Merlin had never found all that interesting, but he could admit appeared to be technically, and physically difficult. The safer option was Gwaine, but it wasn't that safe.

Between himself and Gwaine was a surprisingly large gathering of families. They were all wrapped up in warm enough clothes, pretty coats of seasonable colours and thick woollen accessories, but like Merlin they'd discarded many of the layers. Almost all of them were watching the game, little fold out chairs facing the unofficial field, but some were keeping their eyes on little children who darted back and forwards with alarming speed. Merlin didn't feel comfortable walking through them unintroduced, though it was clear they were part of the troops 'picnic', but they seemed to span out across the park and to have claimed it as their own. It was go through them or the field. Merlin wasn't that stupid.

Trying not to look suspicious or shifty in anyway, Merlin stepped in trough the crowd, and not a single person noticed him. A cheer, at one stage, startled him, but apparently one half of the men playing had scored. Merlin glanced to the pitch and spied Arthur trying to look grumpy about the loss (but he wasn't doing a very good job) and Percival looking apologetic about his success. It was only a brief moment before they regrouped in the middle for the next play and Merlin had his destination planned.

Gwaine was sprawled across a bright purple picnic blanket, luxuriating and slothern. He was wearing large black sunglasses (female and definitely not Gwaines) and seemed completely oblivious to the game in the distance.

He made a grunt when the families cheered again, and his face scrunched into annoyance. Merlin kicked his foot playfully.

"Hung over, Gwaine?"

"Wont be for long if you got get me some more." But there were no signs of a drink near Gwaine and Merlin merely laughed at him.

"You sure about that?" Merlin noticed he'd been noticed at last. A small group of women on the chairs were looking over at the pair of them, speaking low and quickly amongst themselves.

"If it means I don't have to play, yes." Gwaine pushed his glasses off his nose so Merlin could see his amusement. It matched his smirk perfectly.

"I thought you'd be right up there with the rest of them." Merlin dropped his backpack next to the blanket (where had Gwaine gotten such a girly looking thing?) and stole a spot on the edge of the purple monstrosity.

"Structured sport?" Gwaine scoffed, "I couldn't think of anything more like working. All those rules." He dropped the pilfered glasses back down onto his nose, blocking out the sun. It was a relatively bright day, considering the season. "Now," Gwaine considered, "if I lie here, I can rest up for tonight."

"What's tonight?" One of the teams scored and all the onlookers cheered again, apparently it didn't matter who won.

"Who knows? But it's good to be ready." Gwaine wiggled his fingers, and flashed Merlin another grin.

"I'm going to hide here with you." Merlin made clear, but since he was already shoving Gwaine in the side to make more room on the blanket, he supposed it was already obvious.

"Just don't drag me into it when his royal highness decides you should be in the midst of it. For fun." Gwaines absolute disgust was clear as day.

"Deal." Merlin sprawled out, head turned up to the sun so that he could feel it beam down onto him, warming his skin. Absently he asked the clouds to move on for a few more minutes. It was delicious having that kind of warmth on your skin in the middle of winter. The clouds were amiable and drifted away. Gwaine grumbled and threw his arms over his sunglasses, apparently they weren't doing the best job.

"I notice," Gwaine began amiably, "that your new friend is out there."

Merlin scoffed, "You're my new friend, Gwaine."

"I've known you for at least two weeks more than any of that lot." And apparently he was quite proud of that. "I'm positively ancient, even if himself is shagging you, I get precedence on all your friend tasks."

"You are my oldest friend, now." Merlin said it before he could think and he felt Gwaine tense up next to him. "I mean-" Merlin sat up quickly before Gwaine could leave, "You're clearly the sexiest." Which was a poor attempt but Merlin was tired and he didn't want Gwaine to leave.

Gwaine surprised him. "I'm sorry about Will," he was soft voiced, his finger tips touching the side of Merlins leg, "I liked him."

Something lodged tight in Merlins throat and refused to move. Gratitude for Gwaine, who'd known Will the most out of all these men. Gwaine who had demons he didn't want to face, who didn't want to deal with any demons, and he was offering this. Merlin decided, then and there, that he would protect Gwaine against anything that came their way. Arthur was first, but Gwaine, he deserved more than he had.

"Me too." Merlin managed, his throat dry. He felt like more needed to be said, but he didn't want to think about, and neither, it seemed, did Gwaine. So they did what any grown ups would, they pretended it wasn't there.

In the silence Merlin let himself relax, his senses spreading out around and below him. Not stretched, just released, and he breathed with the world.

It was the first time he could appreciate it, but right now he felt absolutely safe and unguarded. Five of Arthur's knights and Arthur himself, all in the same place and nothing was wrong. He let that assurance of age, the world around him, and the feeling of hope and joy ebb into his soul where it nestled and made a home. And slowly he drifted to sleep.

He was dreaming. An altogether unpleasant dream. Nothing solid, just a feeling. It felt like a five meter long worm was lodged in his gut, slowly twisting around on itself. Merlin did not like the dream, he usually had pleasant dreams about being late for work, or running hard but not moving anywhere. This dream itched at his mind, scratching out a tender spot to exploit, and he fought it back, unwilling to hear it out.

It had just started to gain ground, pushing aside that rare, wonderful dream about the perfect orgasm (he wanted that dream thank you very much!), when he woke up.

"Merlin." Something attacked his face and Merlin jerked up, hand outstretched and eyes flaring with the magic that surged at his demand. His heart rate was up, his skin painted with sweat and his breathing laboured. He blinked, there was no-one there, but beside him Gwaine broke into laughter. "You look ridiculous." Gwaine helpfully supplied.

"I-" Merlin hesitated, aware he'd dreamed, aware something had been wrong, but not sure what. He tried to tap back into the idea of it, but it slipped away into the recesses of his sleep addled mind. "Did you hit me in the face?" Merlin reached up and found wetness. He freaked that he'd been crying, even though it hadn't felt like he was. Suspicious he looked to Gwaine. Gwaine who had a pleasant smile, Gwaine who was holding a half empty plastic cup of water.

Merlin glared at the water, but the plastic cup seemed quite happy to do nothing (spiteful) and the water itself was limited. He went to glare at Gwaine, but the glare couldn't hold ground against the rakish grin Gwaine was giving him.

"I'm going to kill you one day." Merlin offered, half threat, but mostly surrender.

Gwaine threw his arm over Merlins shoulders, "You'll have to join a much longer queue than you'd think for that privilege." He informed with all solemn honesty. Merlin tried to not be amused, but the grin slipped past his defences anyway.

"Moron." Merlin accused.

"Well, this moron has woken you up before Arthur can re-enact Sleeping Beauty with your twitching face."

"It was not twitching." Merlin countered, even as he checked to see the game had broken up, and Arthur was approaching.

"Like a rabbit." Gwaine offered, then threw that blinding smile at Arthur. "Ah, you've finished being manly and sweaty?"

"Are you done man handling Merlin?" Arthur countered, looking a little cross. Gwaine's arm on his shoulder dropped down to his waist. Gwaines head came to rest on his shoulder, and Merlin could see Arthurs annoyance ratcheted up a notch.

"Nowhere near." Merlin knew Gwaine enough to hear the teasing, Arthur apparently did as well, because instead of throwing his annoyance into anger he turned to Leon (a step behind him and looking amused by the whole thing).

"Did you invite that lump of a man?" Arthur checked.

Leon nodded, "You invited Lancelot. Didn't feel right not to have them all here." Which earned Leon a glare (he remained absolutely unrepentant) and Merlin threw him a pleased smile which earned him a glare as well (but Merlin was far too pleased to care).

"The more the merrier, isn't that right Arthur dear?" And apparently Morgana was there, all in dark purple and smiling a secret smile. Merlin realised the purpose of the smile two seconds later when Arthur's expression clouded.

"You weren't invited." Arthur seemed stuck. Morgana laughed and lent down over Gwaine to ruffle her fingers through Merlins hair. Merlin realised he was being touched a great deal more than he had ever been be used to. But unlike Gwaines touch, Morgana's was grounding and cool.

"Family's and friends." Morgan withdrew a small folded paper from her handbag and began to read: "Let's live it up before seeing them off," Morgana, all delicate tones, raised a brow at that, "everyone's invited" she gave Arthur a pointed look, "to celebrate with family and friends for the reinstatement of our favourite troop. Come down to… Well you know the rest." She smiled, pleased with herself. "And, Arthur, I am family."

Arthurs smile was tight, "Yes. Of course you are. Why don't you mingle." He wriggled his fingers where the BBQ had been set up and food was being laid out. Merlin assumed this meant it was lunch time.

"Don't be dull Arthur. I'm here to embarrass you. Certainly I can do it over there, but I get far more enjoyment when I do it right in front of your face." She looked down to Merlin, "He is adorable isn't he?"

Arthur scoffed, so did Leon (but for a different reason), and Merlin was still torn between liking and disliking Morgana and that outweighed all the switches to deal with humour he usually had open.

Lunch was a juggling act of pleasantries, gossip, introductions and spilt food. Merlin took part in it with the horror of a complete stranger amongst a gaggle of people who knew all knew each other and wanted to make him feel welcome. It was exhausting, getting names right, and faces mixed up. Knocking two children to the ground when he stepped back and intercepted their run for victory (or whatever it was kids raced for) was probably the highlight, even if their mother (he assumed it was their mother) shouted at them to mind where they were running and no-one tried to lynch him.

Merlin tried to bare it with good grace, tried to remember the names of soldiers he had already met, and all their families. Tried to remember who was married, who was a sibling, and who owned which child (the last task he gave up on after he realised no-one cared if he got that wrong).

Occasionally there was a reprieve and it was during one of the brief reprieves that Merlin managed to sneak back to Gwaines ostracised purple blanket and breath again. The soldiers were mingled amongst the rest of the party, Gwaine and Lancelot seemed just as integrated as the rest of them and had no trouble keeping up with whatever conversations and questions were being fired at them.

"They're just being protective." Morgana declared, taking the space on the blanket beside him.

He smiled tightly wishing he'd had a few more moments to himself. "Morgana."

"Really Merlin," she dismissed his ire, looking bored, of all things, "I don't even care that Arthur turned gay for you, which is what their curious about. That and making sure your good enough for him. It's positively adorable."

"He didn't turn-"

"Of course he didn't." She scoffed. "No one changes my brute of a brothers mind about anything. If he's dating you he's always liked men, he just didn't think they were worth the effort. Which makes you a thousand times more fascinating than they think you are." She waved at the crowd, eyes delighted and focused, and Merlin looked up to see Arthur watching them closely. "We're talking about you!" She called loudly, and Arthur scowled turning his attention sharply away from them and towards the young woman talking to him.

"You like doing that?" Merlin tested, feeling a little annoyed on Arthurs behalf.

She smiled fondly at him, "I love doing that." She corrected.

"Why are you here?" Because he was curious. There didn't seem to be much but antagonism between the siblings but she'd come anyway. Surely even she wasn't that bored.

She watched Merlin, eyes dark and considering as she took him in. And he saw the fake answer, the jibe and frivolous answer melt away. "I wont to make sure I see him before he dies."

"What?" Merlin's heart rate jumped into over drive, the idea of 'threat' and 'peril' ricocheting through his system too fast to stall. "What do you mean by that?" He forced through a tight throat, not sure what was happening.

Her hand settled on his arm, unthreatening, calming. "I didn't get to see my mother when she was became sick." Morgana gentled, then spoke in soft a voice of soft secrets. "I don't love many people, Merlin, but I love Arthur, and I want to know that if he dies next week I saw him off. That I didn't choose not to see him that last time."

She gave him only a moment to understand before she squeezed his arm and directed his attention to three women approaching with a blanket and a drink each.

"I hope you don't mind." One of them checked, even as her friend began to arrange them on the patch around them. "You seem to have stolen all the sun over here, and it's so nice in the sun." She offered a polite smile, non-invasive, but Merlin felt like they'd interrupted something important. For a moment, he was sure, he'd felt nothing but adoration for the absolute beauty that was the woman at his side. For a moment he couldn't comprehend that in another life she may have been the key to Arthurs death.

He reminded himself, as the company settled in, that nothing was certain. Whatever had happened before didn't have to happen again, and maybe it wouldn't because this life was already so different. No war lords, gender equality, mobile phones, hell any of it could make such a drastic difference Merlin wasn't sure how to quantify it all. Besides that, there was still Lancelot, who made no sense since he'd been added to the stories long after the original source, so maybe things weren't so clear cut.

He redirected his thoughts, "Where is he going?" Because actually that was kind of important, and no-one had mentioned going anywhere to him.

Morgana puzzled for a second, then rolled her eyes in exasperation (but not, he was sure, directed at him). "They were cleared of charges. They're back on active duty next week."

Merlin tasted sand and heat, felt the echo of foreign lands in his veins and shuddered, "They're going to Afghanistan?" He really felt he should have been given some warning on that.

"Nah, they'll be beating them over the head with re-training in Chelsea for the next month." One of the women who had joined them, Edith, chipped in. The other two women groaned, and everyone ignored as a child trampled across their blankets. "After that," Edith shrugged, "who knows."

"We probably wont see them for months." The woman to Edith's left added, looking affronted but resigned. "They always send them here and there without any warning."

"That is their job." Morgana reminded, and Merlin realised he had no idea what kind of soldiers they were. He'd been reading his little book about the british military, and honestly there were so many branches, so many speciality's, and grunts and factions that there were a multitude they could belong to. He'd ask Leon later, if he remembered. It wasn't life altering, he was sure. War was war, after all.

"They'd have to give them leave if Arthur marries you though!" The second lady chirped up, full of cheer and excitement and Merlin was knocked from his thoughts faster than he could have them.

"What?" He demanded, horrified, and was completely ignored.

"Oh, that'd be fantastic." Edith, Merlin decided, was actually a horrible person. "We'd all get to go to a wedding, then. I love a good excuse to go shopping."

"Wait. No. No." Merlin tried to interject.

"Oh, the dress! I love to see the bride… well… no. But maybe some nice silk shirts?" It was about that time Merlin lost the ability to listen over the pounding of blood in his ears. Jesus but he was blushing like a school girl. He would make Arthur fix this, tell all these perfectly polite (but gossipy) people that they weren't dating. That they would never date, that dating was not a thing that would ever happen between them. This could not go on, in less than an hour they'd probably have his entire hypothetical future planned out.

"Merlin." Morgana whispered, close to his ear and leaning on his arm. There was a devils amusement in her voice. "They're planning your wedding."

As if he didn't know. "Shut up."

"But it's charming!" She tittered, then more thoughtfully added, "I wonder if I could be your bridesmaid."

"Right. That's is." And as manfully as he could Merlin extracted himself from the four horrors before they could inflict any more horror on him.

In his effort to appear more manful and less cowed by a bunch of gossips and teases Merlin stood closer to the re-emerging rugby game. Apparently lunch was over. He wasn't sure where the step was, but Merlin had taken it by accident and in the first break of the game Leon was looking at him, considering.

He wasn't sure what was worse, Rugby of gossip and was starting to back pedal closer to the BBQ (there were some sensible looking people there, it might have been safe), but Leon had him in a headlock in under a second.

Tempted Merlin considered zapping him on principal. It was one thing to be manhandled by people who honestly thought he was helpless, it was quite another when idiots risked the wrath of trapped wizards when they knew what he could do to them.

"I call Merlin on my team!" Leon declared. "Filch, you wanted a break, off you go."

"What really?" Filch (apparently) seemed as incredulous as Merlin felt.

"Yep. He will be our crowning jewel." Leon decided, as if Merlin didn't have a say in the matter. Another temptation to zap the bastard zinged through Merlin, but like a good little idiot he held it back. His reward was being released from the head lock, a shaggy golden headed smile and then being turned to face a scowling Arthur.

"Fine," Arthur conceded, "but it's your own fault when you lose."

As if Merlin would only be a hindrance. As if Merlin couldn't do anything but make them fail. For that alone Merlin played dirty.

I'm sorry for the mega delay in updating. Hope you're all still hanging around looking for things to read. Please review! I've been starved for reviews (my own fault) and I miss them so.