Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. If I did I would never give Jake out of my hands. LOL

A/N: I'm waiting for the spring. Who else? In case you opened this chapter because you were informed I uploaded a new chapter. I figured, that I missed to upload a previous chapter. It's called "Stand my ground" and belongs between the chapters 19 and 20. Please, go, check and review. Love.

Waiting for you

BPOV

Quil's sudden appearance was like an ice-cold shower. I don't know how it was with Jake, but my libido just went through the floor. I startled and I heard myself calling Quil each bad name while simultaneously practically crawling into Jake to escape Quil's staring eyes. I knew I must be terribly blushing from head to toes, but tried to stay just cool and relaxed. The whole pack would see me …gulp… through Jake's eyes, when they all would be back in wolf form. Ugh. I guess, I had to deal with that from now on. Maybe we could just scare Quil away, when we picked up where we just left off? But I was a pathetic chicken, I didn't found the courage.

Unabashed, Quil informed Jake that Sam was sending for him, because Leah was missing, and he wanted him to bring her back. Why couldn't Sam just go by himself? He was the friggin' Alpha of the pack. And if Sam didn't want to go by himself, why wouldn't he sent somebody else - there were more wolves available than Jake, and they weren't even injured.

I noticed that Jake was shaking, but instead of backing away I pressed myself into him even more. Quil wouldn't stop talking into Jake.

"Kíka! Bells." Jacob growled and grabbed my arm. His trembling had become stronger.

I lifted my head and stared at him not comprehending the unfamiliar word. Maybe it was his Quileute language, but I really didn't know. Instead I recognised that the colour of Jake's eyes was changing. Yellow dots infiltrated the deep brown and the pupils were contracted. I should be frightened, knowing the he was so very close to phasing, but I watched him rather fascinated.

Jake narrowed his eyes, pushing off immense body heat and impatiently waiting for me to move. The yellow spots formed a ring around his pupil now. "Get away from me!" he hissed through his gritted teeth. His voice was awfully strained, and it was obvious that he hated what was happening to him right now - that the situation was running out of his control.

I blinked, frozen in place. Crap, even his teeth seemed to become more pointed. The canines were elongating. Why does Quil not just vanish, I thought, pressing my naked front to Jake's chest. I knew the perfect way to make the angry shaking go away, but Quil was really pushy. Jake shoved me from his lap, throwing my clothes at me. Seething, he ripped open the passenger door and jumped out of the car. Strong tremors were rolling over his back.

"Jake, wait." I crawled over the seat and awkwardly followed him. My left foot got caught up in the sleeve of my shirt, and I fell forward. Jake was there, keeping me from falling. He steadied me, but then he stepped away.

I pressed my clothes to my bare chest. Walking one step forward, I ignored that Quil was gaping at me. Jake stepped back, bringing more room between us. He was becoming ever more enraged, when he saw Quil staring.

"Don't phase, Jake. Maybe you'd better go over and talk it out with Sam," I called out after Jake, who was now striding with huge steps towards the gate. I didn't know the full extent of his injury, but I imagined phasing wouldn't do any good.

"Gawdammit!" Jake yelled, and before I could even blink my eyes, he thrust full force into the wall with his good arm. He broke through the blanks as if they were mere paper.

I screeched, "No, Jake!"

Oh yeah, bravo, now I sound like a bickering housewife. Calm down and think, Bella. THINK!

Jake held his hand up and concentrated on breathing. - In. One, two, three. - Out. One. Two. Three.

Quil really didn't know, when to better shut up. His comment made it worse, "Jake, she's right. You can't get this worked up about Sam's order, man."

I wanted to slap Quil for his insensitivity.

"Just shut up, Ateara!" Jake shouted. He looked at Quil as if he was pondering, whether to take his anger out on him or, contrary to reason, phase and tackle Sam down. Quil suddenly found the opposite wall very interesting.

I should know better. I really should know better, especially after the incident from this morning. I really shouldn't get in the way of an infuriated wolf - but I just had to do something. The least I could do was help Jake keep his frame together. As much as I had loved to make out with Jake, we could repeat it, when he was back. The interruption really wasn't worth all that fury. Without hesitation, I now just walked towards Jake and just shrugged out of Quil's grip, when he wanted to hold me back. "Buzz off, Quil!"

"Bella, just stay put! Leave him alone. Dammit!" Quil sounded somewhat hysterical, and was cussing me out big time.

Jake stopped in his tracks when I touched his back.

"Don't. Please," I begged. He would break his arm again, if he phased and maybe do even more damage to the just healing bone. "It will only take you longer to get rid of that brace." I just couldn't let it happen. With my one hand I pressed my clothes against my chest, with the other I just hugged my Jake and buried my face in his chest. I deeply inhaled, even his scent was changing, becoming sharper, more musky and for my liking really, really sexy. It made me dizzy. My reaction to this man seemed to become stronger each time I was close to him. And though I had endangered myself enough this very morning, I couldn't leave Jake alone with this, even when the situation was tense again.

"Bells, you have to get away from me." Jake's body was vibrating from the inside out, his heart pumping in a frantic pace. I expected him to push me away, instead his good hand closed around my shoulder, desperate, as if he couldn't get away from me either. He wrapped his hand in my hair, and pulled my head back rather roughly.

I gasped, when I looked into his meanwhile almost yellow eyes and shuddered. Jake pressed a rough kiss to my lips.

"Please… It's not safe around me right now." He pleaded and nudged me away. His voice was only a deep, husky growl. Sexy and threatening likewise. "I'm just going to check out what's going on and what Sam wants from me." He almost spat Sam's name out.

I suddenly had the feeling that a big part of his wrath was about Sam ordering him around. He probably would just have sent Quil away, if that poor guy had walked in on us for other reasons. But Quil had to follow Sam's order and therefore Jake had to follow this order as well. It was how the dynamics in a pack were. The Alpha gave an order and the pack had to follow.

Sam was getting me on the nerves. Was Sam forgetting that his pack was human as well? Didn't he realise that he couldn't push them around like token in a game. Well, I had to be reasonable here. It wouldn't help Jake at all, if I flipped out as well.

"I'll be waiting for you. I'm here, Jake." I stepped back, unwilling.

"I'm sorry, man." From behind Quil approached cautiously and almost subservient. And I had thought, Quil and Jake were equal in the pack rank? Hmmm, more weirdness? "Don't shoot the messenger." Quil had its hands up, gesturing placating. "I'm only doing, what Sam ordered me to do."

"Let's get over with then. What's about Leah?" Jake slipped out of the garage, waving me a short good-bye.

I raised my hand as well, but he was gone to fast to still see it. I sighed and tried to hear their footsteps, but in fact, I didn't hear any sounds. The Quileute moved with animal grace – from the smallest kid to the oldest man.

I put my bra back on and slipped into my clothes. Maybe a little break would be good to … think. Ugh. Really, I was musing and thinking way too much. I shook my head and closed the zipper. I walked out of the garage, checking if I could still see Jake, but he and Quil were already out of sight. I frowned. How long would Jake be gone? What should I do while I was waiting for him? I kicked my feet into the gravel.

"Bella? What's up?"

I startled. I hadn't heard Billy coming, but now he was standing only two steps away. He looked striking, tall and lean. I sighed again. He looked so much like Jake and I missed Jake already.

"Pack stuff. Jake had to leave," I mumbled and noticed that I was angry. Had Sam done it on purpose? Did he hold a grudge against Jake for imprinting on me? And that stupid comment about my non-native background? I snorted disgustedly. HE of all wolves in the pack should know best that being a wolf you were left with no choice when it came upon imprinting. Maybe he was jealous that it had worked out best for Jake and me? I kicked the gravel again, making the little stones fly everywhere.

"Why don't you come in sharing a cup of coffee with me, Bella?" Billy offered. He always was so wise and knew the right things to say just at the right time.

I sighed and followed him into the house. I felt the strange sense of loss again. I didn't want do be separated from Jake anymore. It sucked big time.

~*~

Billy filled two cups of freshly brewed and deliciously smelling black coffee and put a lot of sugar and cream into his mug. I loved my coffee just black. I huffed and glared into the cup.

"Want to talk?" Billy looked at me, observant but not pushing.

"Jake was all upset about Sam ordering him around," I said gruffly.

Billy cocked his head. "Really?" A faint smile played along his lips as if he was thinking about something he already knew and others hadn't figured out yet. "How so?"

"Quil came in and interrupted, uh,--" I pushed my hair over my shoulders, ignoring that unnerving blush that crept over my skin. Would Billy know what we were about to do in the garage? I shrugged my shoulders and found that I didn't care. "Quil said, that Sam told Jake to come and take care of Leah. She has run somewhere and Seth is getting nervous, because she didn't return yet."

Billy just nodded, while I stared blankly at the wall.

"It really ticked him off." I summed up. "He's never been that mad before when I was around him. He was close to phasing." I sipped at the coffee, feeling the hot liquid pouring down my throat and soothing my nerves.

Billy put his mug down and run a hand through his hair. He shook his head and was quiet for a moment. I didn't know what he was thinking, but when he spoke up, he sported a mischievous smile: "Jacob should sign up for anger management training." He barked out a short, but ironic laughter.

"You think it's funny?" I asked bewildered and a little upset.

Billy shrugged his shoulders and stretched his legs. "He's making life difficult for himself."

I didn't understand what Billy was talking about and I told him that. Billy explained: "Everything seems to upset him lately. And after this second transformation, he has to find his position in the pack again." Billy stopped and even when I raised an eyebrow questioning, he wouldn't tell me more. But I found it fascinating. Where would Jake's position in the pack be? Billy remained silent and I assumed he wouldn't tell me anything more.

Never mind! I can help myself to needed information. I would buy me a book about real wolves instead. I surely would get a lot of information about behaviour, dynamics and interaction that would be applicable to this pack of human wolves. I glared at my hands, examined my fingernails and was still frowning.

"What's really bothering you?" Billy suddenly asked and stood up. He put the mug into the sink and leaned against the counter, arms crossed in front of his chest, completely comfortable with himself. Seeing him standing upright and healthy was still a wonder.

"Sam should not order Jake around," I said musing. "It doesn't feel right." Never before had I questioned Sam's position as an Alpha, but I had the feeling that he didn't belong there. I bit my lips again and wanted to ask Billy, what would make Sam the Alpha. Was it because he was the oldest and first that had phased? Or did you become Alpha per choice? But I decided against it. Billy didn't look as if he would tell me any more pack insights.

"Make yourself comfortable, Bella. I'll be outside cleaning out the courtyard. I've wanted to do this for years." Billy pushed away from the counter and walked towards the door. When he passed me, he ruffled my hair. I thought my heart would leap out of my chest. It was such an all-fatherly gesture. Did Billy know already, that Jake had imprinted on me? Was it his way to show me, that he was okay with it? Not that it would matter anyway. It would be nice to have at least one of the Quileute approve of the imprint.

"You don't mind if I--" I asked before Billy could slip out of the door. I gestured and pointed to the pizza cartons, clothes and all the other stuff that was lying around. "just tidy up?"

The kitchen and the living room really were in a devastated condition. Since I had been here last time, which was about a good one and a half week ago when Billy had been so sick, nobody had ever cleaned up. Suddenly the time I would need to wait for Jake to come back didn't seem so boring at all.

Billy smirked. "What's with women and cleaning?"

I shrugged my shoulders and smirked back. But Billy now frowned and twisted his lips. "I just can't let you clean up our mess here…"

"It's okay, really. Billy, I'd like to help you. And I'm staying here waiting for Jake anyway. So… you just go out and do your stuff." I cocked my head and stared at him with a pleading look. "I'm keeping myself busy here..."

Billy gave in and went outside.

I switched on the ancient kitchen radio and turned up the volume. Quickly I cleaned kitchen. The poor guys had to have lived from only pizza and canned food lately. I washed the dishes, took the trash out and wiped the table and the counter. Then I went into the bathroom. There was not so much to do. It was very neat and clean, just like I remembered from my overnight stay when Billy was sick. For at least one of them a tidy bathroom seemed to be important. I just threw the wet towels into the floor and cleaned the sink. Done.

But Jacob's room was a mess. I hadn't been in his room in over a decade except from the night when Billy had been so sick. But I had been far too occupied then and never took the time to look around. A computer, even more ancient then mine, the ragged schoolbag stuffed in a corner, a basketball rolling aimlessly through the room, a baseball bat leaning on the desk, a Lord of the Rings poster hanging on the wall.

Yeah, Jake had replaced his favourite "E.T. The Extraterrestrial" movie poster. I had a memory of me and him watching that movie on my Dad's couch, eating popcorn and cookies. Jake had been so fascinated when the kids came together with their bikes helping Elliott and E.T. to escape. Do I need to mention that I squeaked my lungs out all along with little Gertie when she came running into Elliott's room and found E.T. standing there?

I let myself in and closed the door behind me. His scent was hanging heavy in the room. I was suddenly aware again of the feeling of him under my hands and against my very naked chest. A tingle spread all over my skin. I gulped and blushed. I had been so bold, putting my hand in his pants. Wow. He felt incredible there, hot, silky, and … hard. I shook my head and pressed the palms of my hands into my eyes. Relax, Bella. You will have him soon enough. I pleaded with myself, trying to ignore the ball of heat that grew in the pit of my stomach.

I made my round through his room. Even when it was such a mess, I felt so homey in his room. Clothes carelessly lay on the ground as if ripped out of the closet in a hurry. I picked up everything and sorted it out in a pile of dirty laundry and clean clothes. When I folded the pants and shirts I noticed that most of his clothes wouldn't fit him anymore.

I cleaned his desk, piled the books that lay there. A book about genetics, a book about Native American Mythology, a book about Quantum electrodynamics. Huh? The books were marked with small pieces of paper and when I flipped through the pages of one of the books I wondered, if Jake was in fact doing research about how phasing could be possible. In the book I found a scribbled note. I put the book aside and stared at Jake's strong but scrawly handwriting:

• Theory of relativity, quantum physics, physical body, potential energy = How can phasing be explained within the accepted principles of physics?

• Genomic imprinting, genetic drift or natural selection (gene variants depending on reproductive success; adapting to environment)

• Is the gene inherited paternally or maternally (ed. guess: paternally)

The list went on and on and I understood… nothing. Natural science has never been my strong point. But I wasn't surprised at all that Jake would try figuring out a logical explanation for phasing. He had never believed in the old Quileute legends until he had phased wolf and learned everything was true first-hand. I put the notepad on top of the pile and finished cleaning his room.

When I had everything acceptable I collected the laundry and searched the house for a washing machine. I found it down the floor in a tiny room. iHow could Jake possibly move in here?/i I snickered. I loaded the washer and took the vacuum cleaner out. I vacuumed the floor and Jake's room, not being aware that I was singing along with the songs from the radio. Soon I was absorbed in the music and enjoyed pushing the vacuum cleaner around.

"Ah, now that's the Bella I knew." Billy suddenly stood behind me, looking intently at me.

"Uhm?" I stopped and pulled the plug, realising how loud the radio was playing. Billy was covered with grease, dirt and wood shavings. "What do you mean by that?"

"You weren't such a quiet, shy and unconfident girl before you left Forks with your mom, you know?" Billy turned the radio off.

"No…" I said slowly, hoping he would explain some more. In fact, I couldn't remember so very much about my life in Forks and La Push at all.

"Well, actually you knew to handle yourself very well when you were little. And you never failed to make your intentions clear. I just remember the one day when you pushed Jake off the swing because he wanted to swing all on his own. You must have been 3 or 4 or something." Billy chuckled under his breath.

"I never would have done anything like that." I fended him off, but deep inside a glimpse of a memory came to life.

"You did!" Billy grinned. "God, Jake was so upset. He dragged you by your pony tail into the house to complain about you."

I was gaping at Billy. "Jake's been ratting me out?"

"Uhum…" Billy was really hard laughing now. "And the huge bump on his head proved his story right. Charlie said it would be better, if you left and he made you apologize and you wouldn't. And you and Jake started fighting again. Charlie felt it would be better if the two of you left. He tried to make you apologize and you just refused. Then you and Jake started fighting again, forcing Charlie to step in. 'That's enough!' he yelled and threatened that he would arrest you for assaulting Jacob and resistance against authority if you wouldn't give in and follow your Dad home." Billy had to wipe tears from his eyes from laughing. "…and then Jacob became really, really furious and bit into Charlie's leg. Charlie's face… it was priceless…"

The corners of my lips twitched and soon I was laughing along with Billy. iCrap, why couldn't I remember?/i

"And that's how it was with Jacob. He always wanted you around and he always was so eager to protect you from anything that could possibly harm you." Billy lowered his voice, becoming serious again. "And he has never failed until today, hasn't he?" A lump formed deep down in my throat. Billy meant business. "Jacob had a hard time, when your Mom decided you would better be off in Arizona. She just kept you there, heaven knows why, and made Charlie agree to visit you in Arizona, else he wouldn't be allowed to see you. I never understood why Renee did that to Charlie."

I didn't know myself why my mom suddenly decided to keep me in Arizona. It was so not my mom and I felt guilty somehow.

"Speaking of Charlie…" Billy said and padded my shoulder. "He just called and wants you to come home..."

iOh crap!/i I had totally forgotten about Charlie. "Is he okay?"

"Yes, but he wants you to be back before twilight."

I sighed. I'd rather wait for Jake to come back. But considering my father's condition it really was better if I headed home as soon as possible.

"I'm almost done with the house. I just wanted to vacuum your room if you're okay with it? And then I'm off."

"Sure, go ahead." Billy opened the door to his room for me and invited me in. I stepped inside and it was like coming into another world. The Black's house was so virile, but being in this very room, you could feel Sarah Black's presence still lingering. The room still kept a female aura after all those years with the white curtains at the windows and the white sheets and pillows on the bed. Billy held it perfectly neat and clean. I saw the wheelchair and the clutches - stuffed away in a space behind the door.

A lot of photos were standing on an old sideboard. There were many baby and kids pictures of Jacob and his sisters. The wedding pictures of Billy and Sarah. Family pictures with Jacob's grandpa and granny. I looked at Billy waiting for his approval and went over to look at them. One photo called my special attention and again I looked at Billy before I picked it up.

Billy looked over my shoulder and said: "This is the last picture we made before Sarah died."

The twins and Jake (smiling his very own tooth commercial smile) were crowded around Billy and Sarah. Sarah had been a slender, elegant woman with pitch black hair and she had such a happy, glowing smile on her face and and Billy's gaze was devoted and loving. It almost took my breath away, but then I discovered the rounding of Sarah's stomach and gasped.

"Oh Billy. I'm so sorry. I didn't know…" Tears sprang into my eyes. I was full of compassion for Billy. What had happened to the baby?

"Sarah had been 6 months pregnant on this photo. We had just found out that she was expecting a boy. We wanted to name him Jeremy…" Billy took the picture out of my hand and caressed it with his thumb. "Four weeks later the car crash happened. A van rammed her car. She and the baby had no chance. They said, she was dead at once. She didn't suffer…"

My tears flowed freely now and Billy laid his arm around my shoulders in a comforting manner. "You cannot change things that happened in the past. You just have to be strong and go on…"

Billy put the picture back to the sideboard. For a moment he looked so vulnerable. I wanted to embrace him, but I didn't have the guts. When he turned around his eyes were glazed over. "Okay, I've got stuff to do. And you should go home, Bells. Don't have Charlie waiting for you too long."

"I… I'm sorry, Billy. I didn't mean to bring it on…" I said wiping my tears. My voice was surprisingly steady. I found myself reaching out and touching his arm. "You okay?"

Billy smiled at me and rubbed my back. "I'm okay, Bella. As long as we talk about Sarah, as long as someone remembers, you know… She's not really gone than… She lives on here,… and here…" He touched his head and his heart. "And here." Now he tapped my head. The moment was so precious and I was touched so deeply. I really didn't know what to answer on that. But Billy nudged me out of his room and towards the front door.

"Go home now, Bella. Charlie is waiting for you"

I took my bag out of my truck and clambered into Jake's rabbit and drove home. My head was practically humming from all those thoughts that were going round and round and round. So, Jake had imprinted on me, I almost had sex with him and I learned about Sarah and Jake's little brother. I had a lot to process now…